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Nyepesi nyepesi

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kibunango, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Bride's bouquet crashes plane in Italy


    Wed Jul 15, 12:45 am ET
    ROME – A romantic wedding in the Tuscan countryside ended with injuries after an attempt to launch the bride's bouquet from a plane brought down the tiny aircraft. Italian police say two people were hurt in the crash of the ultralight plane after the bridal bouquet they launched got caught in the aircraft's rear rotor.
    The flowers blocked the engine, bringing the plane down by a youth hostel.
    Police in the nearby town of Piombino said Tuesday the pilot was lightly injured in Saturday's crash, while the passenger who threw the bouquet had several broken bones.
    The bride and groom were not aboard the plane.
     
  2. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Paris launches smile campaign to woo tourists

    PARIS (Reuters) – Faced with a fall in tourist numbers due to the financial crisis and a reputation for unfriendliness, the Paris tourist board has made a simple request of the city's residents: smile.

    Visitors to Paris, the world's most visited city, have fallen 17 percent since January compared with the same period in 2008, official figures show.
    To counter the slump and boost revenues, the tourist board has set up stands manned by teams of "smile ambassadors" to welcome holiday-makers at the city's most popular spots.

    As if to heed its call, hundreds of roller-skaters formed a giant smile in Place Vendome in the city center on Sunday.

    "We have to work on striking and simple images. There's nothing as telling as a smile," said Paul Roll, who heads the tourist board.
    In May, a questionnaire carried out by travel site TripAdvisor found Paris to be the most over-rated city in Europe, citing its high prices and unpleasant residents.

    Daniel Fasquelle, founder of a tourism association, said that French from all walks of life needed to play their part.

    "If we want tourism, which has generated more than two million jobs, to remain a major economic sector, everyone has to get behind it - professionals, elected representatives, and French people," he said.

    "It's the American tourist lost in Paris that we inform politely, it's the English person looking for the way in northern France who we don't get impatient with by honking our car horns," he said.
    Paris is doing more than trying to make its residents smile to draw in more visitors.

    It is now possible to enjoy a virtual visit of the Champs-Elysees, the so-called "most beautiful avenue in the world," on the website CHAMPS-ELYSEES|Site Officiel.

    Plans for a string of new luxury hotels are also in the pipeline, and Secretary of State for Tourism, Herve Novelli, is counting on a cut in VAT in the restaurant industry, which came into force on July 1, to boost tourism.
    (Reporting by Elizabeth Pineau, Writing by Joseph Tandy)
     
  3. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 15, 2009
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    Thread uanzishe wewe!

    Uanze mwenyewe kuchangia!

    Na uchangie tena vitu very irrelevant from the original thread...!!!

    Sa tuchangie ipi kati ya hizo mbili?

    Umemaliza MWENYEWE bana!!!
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2009
  4. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Kama una nyepesi nyepesi yoyote wewe itundike hapa... :D
     
  5. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 16, 2009
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    NH man charged 23 quadrillion dollars for smokes

    MANCHESTER, N.H. – A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars.

    Josh Muszynski (Moo-SIN'-ski) checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number — a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500 (twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars).

    Muszynski says he spent two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to sort out the string of numbers and the $15 overdraft fee.

    The bank corrected the error the next day.
    Bank of America tells WMUR-TV only the card issuer, Visa, could answer questions. Visa, in turn, referred questions to the bank.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 19, 2009
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    Lawsuit: dentist dropped tools down man's throat

    WINTER PARK, Fla. – A Florida dentist is being sued for allegedly dropping tools down the throat of an elderly patient — twice.
    Relatives of 90-year-old Charles Gaal Jr. recently filed the suit in circuit court accusing Dr. Wesley Meyers of negligence. An answering message at Meyers' office in Winter Park said Saturday that he was on vacation. He did not reply to a message from The Associated Press seeking comment.
    The lawsuit says the doctor dropped an "implant screwdriver tool" in 2006 and a "mini-wrench" in 2007.
    The suit also says Gaal underwent several medical procedures to remove the tools but never fully recovered. He died in 2007.
    Meyers was fined $17,000 by the state a year later. The dentist was found negligent in a settlement.
    [​IMG]
     
  7. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 19, 2009
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    Copy and Paste zitakuuwa wewe Kibs!
     
  8. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 20, 2009
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    Miye tena? BAK atafanywa nini?
     
  9. Che Kalizozele

    Che Kalizozele JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 20, 2009
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    Ugomvi huu mie simo.
     
  10. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Bora...!
     
  11. Soulbrother

    Soulbrother JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    tuwekee nyepesi nyepesi local... mambo ya majuu yamezidi
     
  12. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 25, 2009
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    Man gets glued to toilet seat at Australian mall

    CAIRNS, Australia – A man who used a public toilet in a shopping mall was taken to a hospital to have the toilet seat removed from his backside after someone smeared it with glue in what an official condemned Monday as a sick joke. Police urged possible witnesses to come forward after the 58-year-old man was humiliated in the northeastern city of Cairns by the prank.

    An ambulance was called to help the man after he was found stuck by fast-acting adhesive glue to a toilet seat on Saturday in the busy shopping mall.

    Paramedics removed the seat from the toilet and took him to a hospital, where medical staff used industrial solvents to get it off.

    Cairns local government official Di Forsyth said the man, who was not identified, was not injured but was "extremely embarrassed" by his experience.

    "I'm disgusted that a gentlemen has had to go through that because someone thinks it's funny," Forsyth said. "It's a sick joke."
     
  13. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 25, 2009
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    Umesahau kuwa wabongo ndio wataalamu wa ku-import kaka
     
  14. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Drunk man found at grocery store eating avocados

    BISMARCK, N.D. – Police said a man was arrested at a grocery store after workers found him at a table in the deli, eating avocados, cake and other items.

    Bismarck Police Lt. Randy Ziegler said the 38-year-old man was intoxicated and had a hearty spread, including cake, cookies and plums, in the deli area of Cashwise Foods about 2:45 a.m. Tuesday.

    Ziegler said avocado pits and pistachio shells ended up on the floor and on a connecting table in the store. He said the man told officers he had no money and had no idea how he planned to pay for the food.

    Police arrested him on a misdemeanor theft charge.
     
  15. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Woman says life easier after breaking long nails
    [​IMG]
    SALT LAKE CITY – A Salt Lake City woman who held a Guinness World Record for her long fingernails before they broke off in a car crash says it was the most dramatic event of her life. But Lee Redmond, who lost the fingernails in February, says it's now much easier to do things and her hands seem to fly with the weight of the nails gone.

    The 68-year-old won't grow her nails out again, saying it took 30 years the first time and she may not live for another 30.

    Redmond hadn't cut her nails since 1979 and entered the Guinness World Records book in 2002 for longest fingernails on a woman.

    The Guinness Web site says her nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches.
    ___
     
  16. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Man injured breaking into jail

    A Seppo bloke was seriously injured when he climbed a fence and fell through razor wire, in a desperate attempt to break into jail.

    Sylvester Jiles, who was out on bail after convicted of manslaughter, had asked to be put into protective custody.

    According to Deputies from Brevard County Sheriff's Office in Florida, Jiles claimed he’d received death threats and feared for his life. The deputies said they'd investigate the threats and sent Jiles on his way.

    The former inmate responded by sprinting to the jail perimeter fence and jumping over. Jiles then ran to the next fence, climbed it and fell through three levels of razor wire.

    The 24-year-old suffered serious injuries and heavy blood loss. He was taken to hospital, rather than the slammer.
     
  17. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 8, 2009
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    NY man's next blood donation will be gallon No. 40

    2 hrs 36 mins ago
    WOODBURY, N.Y. – A New York man is donating his 320th pint of blood this week, making him one of two people in the U.S. who has given 40 gallons.

    Seventy-five-year-old Al Fischer of Massapequa (mass-ah-PEE'-kwah) plans to reach the milestone Tuesday, 58 years after he started giving blood.
    According to a New York Blood Center official, only 83-year-old Maurice Wood has donated more blood than Fischer. Wood is a retired railroad inspector from St. Louis.

    Fischer, a print shop operator, donates blood about six times a year. He says he and Wood are engaged in a friendly rivalry and last spoke to each other a few months ago.

    Long Island Blood Services executive director Harvey Schaffler says Fischer has helped almost 1,000 people.

    Information from: Newsday, http://www.newsday.com
     
  18. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 28, 2010
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    4-year-old bride for price of beaded necklace

    [​IMG]

    By HASSAN HUKA and MUCHIRI KARANJA Posted Wednesday, January 27 2010 at 17:39
    In a remote part of Samburu, four-year-olds are neither attending school nor have they an inkling of video and computer games that their urban counterparts take so much for granted.

    In the villages of Kipsing location, Ol Donyiro Division, 100 kilometres from Isiolo Town, four-year-old Itoms is on the run; first from her own parents, who want her circumcised before marrying her off for 10 cattle, and from Samburu morans (Maasai warriors), who for a beaded necklace called saen, are free to have sex with a girl barely out of her diapers.

    Itoms turns five this year. Yet, according to Samburu tradition, she is old enough to fetch bride-price for her father and become a wife to a man seven times her age. She had already been booked for sex and eventual marriage to a 27-year-old Moran, in a common ritual called Aisho saen (wearing a necklace).

    But a local child rights activist got wind of it thanks to local assistant chief, Henry Lesokoyo, and whisked her away from home. Little Itoms has no idea what the man who “booked” her looks like, and is crying to go back home.

    Samburu moran

    In the beading ritual, Samburu morans identify little girls as brides by making them wear a beaded necklace. Child rights activists in Samburu say that beading can happen any time a moran meets a girl, irrespective of her age. “If he meets the girl out in the field tending animals, and decides, ‘this one will be my bride’, all a moran has to do is put the necklace on her,” says Ms Josephine Kulea, a child rights activist in Isiolo.

    The morans do not even have to consult the girl’s parents, Ms Kulea says. Once the girl wears the first bead, she is as good as married to the moran. Her parents, on noticing the necklace, immediately start making preparations to have her circumcised, in readiness for marriage.

    During beading, morans are free to have sex with the innocent girls, many of whom are too young to recognise their supposed husbands, let alone attend to affairs of their matrimonial duties. And once the moran graduates to an age-group that allows him to marry, he simply pays 10 cattle to the girl’s father, before whisking the girl away to the marriage bed, no matter her age.

    Child activists say this tradition has ruined the lives of many girls in Samburu, where decision-making is vested in elders. Girls, unlike boys, do not attend school, despite free primary education. “He is free to do with her as he wills, she belongs to him, and him alone,” Ms Kulea says.

    As a result, an unknown number of girls end up getting pregnant as early as 12 years. Many die in the process, Ms Kulea says. “Last year we lost a 12-year-old who was forced out of school to get married, but she was too young to deliver her baby. She died together with the baby.”

    Although there are no official figures, officers in the region say the number of children being rescued from early marriages and female genital mutilation is huge. This is mostly between November and January, the early marriage and FGM season among the Samburu, according to Children’s Department officers. Children’s homes in Isiolo and Nanyuki, which serve Samburu and Maasai, are packed with fleeing children at this time.

    “Even as we speak, it (FGM and early marriages) is still going on,’’ says Mr Enock Manua, a children’s officer in Nanyuki. At one station alone, officers have been rescuing at least 10 girls a month since November. But rescuing them is one thing, and finding a place for them is quite another. By the time of going to press, 10 girls aged four to 12 years had been rescued from the heartland of Samburu and were stranded in Nanyuki, almost 100km away from their home village, Kipsing.

    There is no children’s home to shelter them in Isiolo and the local officer had to refer them to Nanyuki. Officials made frantic calls to Nyeri and Meru, to get any children’s home with vacancies for the 10, to no avail. “They are telling us that they are packed,” said Mr Enoch Manua, a children’s officer in Nanyuki. Meanwhile, little Itoms, too young to understand what’s going on in her life, sobs quietly, wondering why she cannot go back home.

    Cursed for fighting circumcision

    Locals like Ms Josephine Kulea, who joined the war against underage marriage and female circumcision risk being cursed by conservative village elders, who view them as enemies of culture. For three years now, many villagers at Kipsing, have been waiting for Ms Kulea to drop dead any time, after elders invoked the Ldeketa, a terrible curse reserved for cultural outlaws.

    More at Daily Nation
     
  19. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

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    Jan 28, 2010
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    Ha ha ha!Kibunango umenifurahisha sana leo...you made my day!thank you.
     
  20. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    To The "Detroit AIDS Serial Killer:" Thank You
    Thursday, January 28, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    Guess plenty of people are angry with 23-year-old Jackie Braxton for the scare she recently threw into some around the city. If you haven't heard, Braxton posted a video of herself online a couple of weeks ago, wearing a bandanna and claiming that she had passed along the AIDS virus to numerous male sex partners around Detroit in an effort to "destroy the world."

    "Three minutes of pleasure turns into a lifetime of death," she declared. She even held up a list of people she said she'd slept with, including other women's husbands and boyfriends.

    She was arrested by police not long after the video posted -- it's a crime for someone with AIDS to have unprotected sex without informing the partner beforehand -- and volunteered to be tested. Turns out, Braxton doesn't have the AIDS virus. The entire thing was just a hoax, Braxton admitted, a frightening attempt to drum up attention for the porn site she stars in and runs with her husband. More importantly (OK, maybe not to her, but at least to me), she said her stunt was also an attempt to remind us of the dangers of unprotected sex.

    Message received, Jackie.
    “Hopefully, it will serve as a public service,” she added.
    With a noticeable jump in the number of people showing up Thursday and today at Detroit's walk-in HIV/AIDS testing clinics, Braxton may have gotten her wish.
    Detroit Department of Health and Wellness Promotion officials said an average of seven people a day come in for walk-in testing available on Monday, Thursday and Friday. On Thursday and today, the department saw about 15 people a day.

    Clearly, the hoax was as effective as it was cruel. And for that, I think, Jackie Braxton deserves not a jail sentence (seems there's nothing to charge her with anyway) but rather, a "thank you."

    Thank you, for reminding a state that has more than 18,000 AIDS cases -- and a metro Detroit area that's home to nearly 40 percent of them — that this disease is just as real and deadly as it ever was, that we'd best remain vigilant.

    Thank you, for reminding so many of us men of that old Bell, Biv, Devoe adage that "you can't trust a big butt and smile," that careless promiscuity and multiple sexual conquests isn't a measure of manhood -- but rather like playing Russian Roulette with your private parts.

    Thank you, for reminding a black community hit hard by AIDS that this killer virus stalks our neighborhoods with a particularly deadly rapacity, taking our brothers, sisters, daughters and sons in epidemic numbers while too many folks in charge still do far too little about it.

    Yes, if Braxton's stunt (which is posted below) hadn't been a hoax, I'd be horrified, angry and deeply saddened for her "victims." Instead, though, her vicious marketing effort made people get themselves checked out, made men who might not have thought about it otherwise consider what unprotected sex-capades can mean for their wives, their children, their lives.
    It took a mean joke to make some of us recognize that AIDS is deadly serious. And like I said, it worked. So, again, thank you, Jackie Braxton.
    And thank goodness it was all just a lie...this time.


    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNMqG9tgsDU[/ame]
     
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