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Nishaurini tafadhali

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Nailyne, Feb 1, 2011.

  1. Nailyne

    Nailyne JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Dec 11, 2010
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    ninaye jirani yangu mahali ninapoishi kanijia na kisanga kilichomkuta,in short amekuta meseji za mapenzi kwenye simu ya mumewe na baada ya kufanya uchunguzi akagundua kuwa ni kweli mumewe alikuwa na mahusiano na mwanamke mwingine, mume akukubali na msamaha kaomba., ndoa yao ni changa miaka 2, bibie jirani yangu nimejaribu kumshauri atulize moyo konde amssamehe mumewe anasema amechoka kwani hii si mara ya kwanza kwa mume huyo kucheat amekuwa akimcheat hata kabla hawajaoana na bwana amekuwa akiomba msamaha lakini baada ya muda anarudia tena, sasa anachodai bibie amechoka kuvumilia maana hivyo vitendo vinamkwaza kiasi kwamba mapenzi kwa huyo bwana yamepungua sana hata ila hamu ya ku-do na mumewe imeikwisha.., kwa sasa wanalala mzungu wa nne! jamani wandugu nipeni mawazo niweze kumuelimisha huyu dada aokoe ndoa yake namwonea huruma ni mdogo to call the marriage off!!!!!!
     
  2. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Daaa pole yake huyo dada, lakini kabla sijajitaidi kushauri chochote, kuna kitu nakiona huyu dada alikosea kukiangalia kwa makini kabla ya kuamua kufunga ndoa na huyo kaka.

    Alishamuona tangu mwanzo kwamba yeye sio mwaminifu, na sio mara moja kwa nini alikubali kuolewa nae? Ilitakiwa ajipime moyoni mwake tangu mwanzo kama anaweza akuchukuliana na hiyo tabia ya mume wake.

    Kama alimuona sio mwaminifu tangu mwanzo na akajiona anaweza kuibeba hiyo tabia akamsamehe basi na ajitaidi kuivumilia huku akimshauri kwa upendo labda atajirekebisha.

    Lakini swali kubwa hapa Kwa nini alimkubali mtu mwenye tabia mbaya kama hio ya kukosa uaminifu kwenye mahusiano hata kabla ya kufunga ndoa???

    Daa tusubiri na wengine washauri lakini nasikitika kwa uamuzi wa huyu dada kukubali ndoa na mtu mwenye tabia ambayo hawezi kuibeba. Wanawake sa ingine inabidi tufikirie vizuri.
     
  3. Nailyne

    Nailyne JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 1, 2011
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    i totally agree with u it was a big mistake to marry such a guy, ingawaje kwa sasa hata yeye anakubali alifanya kosa kumwamwini kuwa atabadilika baada ya kuoana!
     
  4. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 1, 2011
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    Daaa, hebu tusubiri tu mawazo ya wengine nina Imani hapa anaweza akapa ushauri mzuri, kuna watu wenye uzoefu wa aina mbalimbali katika mambo kama haya watasaidia.
     
  5. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
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    Pole yake huyo jirani yako na wewe dada mshauri Nailyne.......
    Huo mtihani,kwa kuwa ni tabia ya huyo kaka,si kwamba kajikwaa bali ni mazoea yake
    Nafikiri mwanaume ana take advantage kuwa anasamehewa kila mara anapokosea....sasa kama na mapenzi yamepungua hapo pagumu....
    Mumewe ni sex addict au ni yeye ana mapungufu ya kiufundi ndo maana mume anatoka jamani??
    Wakae chini wazungumze kwa uwazi,pengine kuna analolikosa kwake mumewe analipata huko nje though i doubt...its too early kumuacha mume but it might be the right decision kwa mwanaume asiyeacha kurudia kosa.....amuombe Mungu,na ausikilize moyo wake,yawezekana Mungu anamuepusha jambo mapema........tusubiri na wengine wamshauri.....inaumiza sana!!
     
  6. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
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    Kwa uelewa wangu mdogo huyo dada alifanya kosa kubwa sana toka mwanzo

    Yaani hata kabla hawajafunga ndoa aligundua kuwa jamaa anacheat lakini

    Bado akakubali kuolewa nae?? Kwani alikuwa mzee kiasi gani mpaka asisubiri

    mwanaume wa angalau mwenye tabia nzuri aweze kumuoa ndo shida ya kutaka sifa eti nami nimeolewa

    Mimi simwonei huruma huyo dada sababu naona kama alishaikubali hiyo hali

    tangu mwanzo aendelee hivyo hivyo.

    Unakubali kuolewa na mwanaume ambaye ameshakucheat kisa nini NDOA na aubebe msalaba wake
     
  7. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #7
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    duuuhh
    jamani kosa limeshatokea sasa tumsaidie vipi..??
    nadhani ni swala gumu sana kuolewa au kuoa mtu wa namna hiyo..
    labda ilikuwa yale mapenzi ya tunaenda kwenye date moja tayari mnaambiziana nakupenda..
    au labda hoyo dada alimpenda kwa dhati akadhani ataweza kumbadilisha..

    unajua kila mtu anamapungufu yake ikija kwenye ndoa..
    tatizo ni pale mmoja aweze kuacha na mwingine ashindwe..
    sasa yaonekana huyo kaka ameshindwa kabisa kuacha hiyo tabia yake..

    kweli sipendi kusema nitakachosema lakini lazima niseme..
    mimi naona huyo dada atoke kwenye hiyo ndoa...
    hakuna maana ya kuka na mtu ambae anafanya siku zako ziwe ngumu na kukukosha raha...
    kwani kila mtu anahitaji happiness..

    na si sawa kwa yeye ku enjoy maisha wakati yako yana didimia..
    na hapo anaweza hata akulete magonjwa..
    na mbaya kabisa umemsamehe mara kibao....
    na dhani sasa ni muda wako wa kutafuta furaha yako my dear..
    labda utapata machungu kwanza kabla ya furaha utakayoitafuta
    lakini hayatakuwa machungu kama unayopitia sasa

    im so sorry
    lakini kila kitu kizuri kina mwisho wake..
    na mwisho kama si mauti basi mwisho ndo huo..
     
  8. jamii01

    jamii01 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Oct 1, 2010
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    kosa lilikwisha fanyika,cha muhimu si kulaumu ten,ila ajaribu kukaa na dungu wa mwanaume wenye hekima kisha ajaribu kuongea tatizo la mumewe...asijaribu kuongea hiyo shida kwa marafiki za mwanaume hakuna watakalomsaidia zaidi ya kuongeza ugomvi na dharau katika ndoa.
     
  9. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #9
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    Jamii01 utanisamehe my dear
    sidhani ni sawa kabisa kuongea na ndugu wa jamaa
    mambo kama haya...

    borea akaongee na mama yake mzazi
    kuliko ndugu yeyote wa mumeo
    kumbuka damu ni nzito kuliko maji my dear
    samahani ae..
     
  10. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 1, 2011
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    My Dear AD,
    Sidhani hata kama damu ni nzito kuliko maji
    Mama anaweza kubadili tabia ya huyu jamaa na midevu
    Hiyo ngumu hapo ni uvumilivu tu ndo cha muhimu
    Na akae pembeni amwache afanye anachotaka asimfatefate
    Unajua watu wenye hekima hukaa kimya na wewe mkosaji unaona aibu
    na kutojua anawaza nini huyu uoga hukuingia na kuacha
    Sory kama nawakwaza si nia yangu
     
  11. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #11
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    hapana mpenzi kweli hukunikwanza
    nimefurahia maoni yako dear

    lakini kumbuka mficha uchi hazai dear..
    huyu dada anataka msaaada na anahitaji mtu wa kuongea naye..
    na mi naona hakuna mtu atakaye msikiliza au ku mwelewa kama mzazi wake..
    espacialy mama yake..
    kweli my dear mama hawezi badili mawazo ya huyo jamaa
    lakini anaweza kumsaidia mtoto wake maneno mawili matatu ya busara..
    ni sawa mtu mwenye hekima hukaa kimya..
    lakini mtu mwenye hekima hutoa maneno yenye hekima na busara
    afunguapo kinywa..

    wa mama zetu wengi wa Kiafrica
    wajua mambo haya..
    ndo maana nikasema akaongee na mama yeke dear
     
  12. Maty

    Maty JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Aug 24, 2010
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    Ajiulize je anampenda huyo mumewe kwa dhati? au aliolewa ili apate heshima kwa majirani kwamba na yeye ameolewa sio nungayembe. kama anampenda mumewe amuache aendelee na mambo yake na yeye amuombe mungu ambadilishe mumewe hakuna kinachoshindikana kwa mungu ila awe na subira. Lakini kama alikurupuka kisa anataka ndoa basi asepe mungu hakumpangia huyo kua mumewe.
     
  13. Inkoskaz

    Inkoskaz JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 1, 2011
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    ama kweli ndoa ndoano...
    ampe last chance with conditions na si msamaha tu wa maneno kuliko kukaa katika hali ya kutokuwa na maelewano
     
  14. Abdulhalim

    Abdulhalim JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 1, 2011
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    Ku-cheat haimaanishi humpendi mkeo..wahenga wanayajua haya.
     
  15. g

    geophysics JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 1, 2011
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    Ushauri mnaompa wengi wenu ni mzuri, ingawa mie nadhani kwa kuwa bado ni mapema katika ndoa...nashauri aendelee kumsoma mume wake zaidi anachotaka...ili kama kipo ndani ya uwezo wake ampe..... Hilo ni moja..... Pili apunguze personal follow ups...hasa katika simu maana ni chanzo kikubwa cha kuvunjika ndoa.... Hii itasaidia kuondokana na stress zisizo za lazima.... Tatu...awe muwazi kwa kuendelea kumweleza madhara (consequences...kwa kitaalam aanze na madhara yanaweza kutokea mume kutembea nje, then akiishaeleza hayo isikubalike aeleze madhara yanaweza kutokea kwake yeye mke ..natural consequence, asipoonekana kuelewa aelezee madhara makubwa ambayo ni kama adhabu ya anachokifanya( imposed consequences)yanayoweza kutokea kwa mumewe kuendelea kufanya mambo yasiyotakikana....Ikishindikana hapo lazima atekeleze uamuzi anaoona unafaa katika maisha yake...
     
  16. Likasu

    Likasu JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 1, 2011
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    mbona mnaogopa kushauri ???
     
  17. Inkoskaz

    Inkoskaz JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 1, 2011
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    unajua humu kuna ushauri mbalimbali ukiwamo wa kiungwana sana na kumtaka mlengwa awe mvumilivu na kutafuta ufumbuzi ila tunasahau kuwa hali halisi inayotokea ndani ya nyumba wakati wa tukio,mara nyingi hapaliki hapalaliki!
    na kwa maisha ya kawaida si rahisi kuepuka muingiliano wa kitu kama simu hata kama hamna kupekuana,itatokea mmoja kasahau simu bahati mbaya na labda inapigwa sana sasa pale kiherehere cha ubinadamu na macho yakiona jina la mpigaji vitamvuta mtu kupokea au kusoma msg,na akiaamini hamna msg yoyote ya mapenzi zaidi ya za kwake...
    Kwa hakika mimi nawaunga mkono wale waliosema personal mobile katika ndoa ni ya wote wanandoa..
    hebu jiulize wale wazazi msg inaingia halafu anamwambia mtoto amsomee kwa kuwa kasahau miwani yake ofisini,
    ikiwa na madudu itakuwaje
    simu ni ya kutumia kwa hadhari sana ili iwe na manufaa kuliko matatizo katika family
     
  18. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #18
    Feb 1, 2011
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    Mwanamke mpumbavu ataiangamiza ndoa yake...
     
  19. Mo-TOWN

    Mo-TOWN JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Oct 11, 2010
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    Basi aliwaowaunganisha Mungu mwanadamu asiwatenganishe! Kuna wana-JF wametoa ushauri mzuri sana kwamba waongee tatizo nini! Ukweli hao wanandoa hawajawahi kukaa wakaongea kujua tatizo nini zaidi ya kuombana misamaha. Ndugu zangu nafikiri mnafahamu vizuri kuwa kuongea ni mwanzo wa kupata suruhisho. Nami pia naafikiana na ushauri huo, kwani hata kama ni pepo wa ngono of which i suspect basi ni rahisi kupata msaada wa kiroho utakaomuweka huru. Kama ni mapungufu yanawayowahusu wote say kutokuwa na mawasiliano mazuri vile vile watapata ufumbuzi.

    Wale mnaosema aachane na mumewe, to me labda kama hana tena mpango wa maisha ya ndoa. Otherwise what are the chances kwamba hatokutana na mtu worse kuliko huyo au mtamshauri tena aachane?.
     
  20. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #20
    Feb 1, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    dahh we umesoma poster zote hapo juu kweli mkuu..
     
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