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Nini kinakurudisha kwa mkeo?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by BADILI TABIA, Sep 24, 2012.

  1. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    habari zenu wapendwa,

    binafsi hili ni swala ambalo nimeliona likitokea ila sijalipatia jibu. Sijui kama lilishajadiliwa humu au la na kamchina kangu hakawezi kusearch.....

    Ni hivi inakuwaje kwa wanandoa, hususan mwanaume anatelekeza familia yake miaka kadhaa, hata kumi..... Ila akishafika uzee/utu uzima anarudi kwa mkewe?

    Na inaiuwaje mke, mume anaporudi miaka kumi-ishirini baadae unampokea? Na mnaendeleza gurudumu?

    Saa nyingine mume akiumwa hoi hoi hurudi kwa mkewe na mke huyu humuuguza mkewe?

    Wanaume nini kinawaondosha kwa wake zenu? Na ninu kinawarudisha?

    Wanawake mnawaza nini mnapowapokea tena waume zenu? Nini kinawasukuma kuwapokea?

    Je hili lina madhara gani kwa watoto? Haiwaadhiri? Huwajenga au huwabomoa?

    Natarajia majibu toka kwenu........
     
  2. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    hili nalo neno!na utakuta familia nzima inamkalia kikao kuwa kwanini hakubali kukubali mume arudi tena utasikia arudi nyumbani kwake!
     
  3. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Wengi wa wawanaume wa aina hii ni wale wabinafsi wakupindukia.
    Wanatafuta pesa na mkewe, likipata pesa linaanza anasa na kumnyanyasa mkewe na kama haitoshi linamtelekeza mke na watoto. Nalinawasahau kabisa kama halikuacha kitu. linastarehe huko wee.
    Sasa likisha firisika na linarudi.

    Ngoma nzito linaporudi na maradhi ya kimurder, kwasababu nilibinafsi linataka na huyu mama aliyenyanyasika miaka yote bado liondoke naye kwa kumuambukiza maradhi yake.

    Wanaume makatiri sana .lol!
     
  4. andishile

    andishile JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    umeongea maswali ya msingi sana! kwanini,hasa mwanaume hawezi kurudia ndoa yake akiwa na maisha safi?lakini hurudi kwa mkewe akiwa kafulia?!na hasa akiwa huko alikotoka kafilisiwa,au unakuta kafukuzwa hata kazi!JIBU NI LAANA YA MKE AU MUME!UNAPOTELEKEZA FAMILIA MWENZA WAKO HALALI ANAPOLALAMIKA NA KUMPIGIA GOTI MUNGU,HAKIKA UNALAANIKA!NA MWISHO WA UBAYA SIKU ZOTE HUWA NI AIBU!
     
  5. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    It's complicated.

    Lakini kwa mtu ambaye umeoana naye ndoa halali halafu akakutelekeza, inauma lakini. . .

    Mwanamme huwa anaondoka nyumbani na kwenda anakokujua bila kutoa talaka au kuweka 'officially' kuwa wametengana na kumpa uhuru mkewe wa kuwa na mwanamme mwingine. Hii husababisha mwanamke kuwa na mahusiano ya siri na mtu mwingine yeyote sababu mumewe halali huwa yupo, a 'marked teritory'.

    Baadhi ya sababu zinazowafanya akina baba kuondoka nyumbani ni
    1. kushindwa suluhisha migogoro ya ndoa ya muda mrefu
    2. Tamaa ya kula maisha including nyumba ndogo
    3. Kukwepa majukumu

    Kwa nini wanawake wanawapokea wanamme hao.
    1. Mwisho wa siku ni 'baba wa watoto wako, akifia barabarani ni aibu yako tu, kama ni mgonjwa hana mwingine wa kumhudumia
    2. Kama bado unaishi sehemu(nyumba) mliyoishi naye anaonakana na yeye ni sehemu ya mmiliki maana hajapoteza umiliki wa ile nyumba, aende wapi na kafulia?
    3. Kama familia ilishavuka kile kipindi kigumu, na imeshasimama kwa miguu yake mara nyingi kidonda kinakuwa kimeshapona, japo makovu yanakuwepo sana, basi huwa haionekani haja ya kutosamehe. Kuna muda unapita unajikuta umemsamehe mbaya wako hata bila yeye kuomba msamaha.
    4. Shinikizo la watoto, hata baba awe mwehu, kwa watoto inabaki ni 'baba yetu', na mbaya zaidi hakuna mbadala. Hata upendwe na upende vipi baba wadogo na wajomba, nafasi ya baba mzazi iko pale pale. Kwa hiyo watoto huwa ni warahisi sana kusamehe baba zao, hivyo kunakuwa na shinikizo la kiaina kwa mama naye kumsamehe mme wake.
    5. Kuogopa aibu kwenye jamii kama 'baba' huyo ni mgonjwa, akifia njiani? Nani atamzika? na kama familia yake ikikubali zika maiti, itaonekana ilishindwaje mhudumia akiwa hai sasa wanakubali maiti? Kuficha aibu ni bora kumpokea tu.


    Je gurudumu huwa linaendelea?

    Hii inategemea sana, kwa mtu aliyendoka nyumbani kwa zaidi ya miaka 10, ni ngumu sana kuendeleza mchezo. huyu aiaishi pale kama mwanafamilia mwingine na anapewa chumba chake na yeye. Hii inatokana na hali ya sasa ya magonjwa.

    Pia mtu aliyeondoka miaka kumi ni ngumu kurudiana maana hata ule upendo ushapotea yanabaki mazoea au heshima tu ya mzazi mwenza ndio maana unakubali aishi kwenye nyumba hiyo.


    Madhara kwa familia.
    Athari Hasi

    1. Kukosa upendo wa baba
    2. Familia kuyumba, tena ni bora kuyumba financially kuliko kuyumba kihisia, mara nyingi husababisha watoto kupinda kiaina.
    3. kunawafanya watoto wasiaminin katika ndoa kuhivyo, maana kuna fikra zinajengeka kama ndoa halali imeyumba, kwa nini ujihangaishe na ndoa? Na kama mzazi mmoja kaweza kulea familia, kwa nini usiwe na watoto tu halafu ukalea familia?

    Athari Chanya
    1. Inafunza kuwaheshimu zaidi wanamme wanaosimamia familia zao, don't take them for granted regadless anaonekana useless kiasi gani. Ni afadhali mara elfu moja mwanajeshi aliye vitani hata kama anapigwa vibao kuliko aliyekimbia uwanja wa vita.

    2. Upendo kwa mzazi aliyesimamia familia una-double, inafunza kumheshimu zaidi na kumkubali mama aliyejitahidi kulea familia.

    3. Inafunza kuwa 'fighter' wa maisha hasa kwa watoto, sio spoon fed.

    4. Inafunza kuwa tolerant na mazingira magumu au rejection katika jamii, if you own father rejected you, who else will you care?

    5. Inajenga a 'forgiving heart'
     
  6. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Sio rahisi kama aunayvofikiri kumwacha afie barabarani.

     
  7. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    ila ni ngumu jamani!
     
  8. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    kwa hiyo ubinafsi wa wanaume na uroho huenda ni chanzo? Na mara nyingi unakuta wamehangaika weeee na mkewe wakazi wa kuzumia ndo mke anakua hana maana?
     
  9. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    snowhite, ni ngumu mno, natamani mwanamke ambaye amempokea tena mumewe baada ya miaka kadhaa aje atupe uzoefu wake...
     
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  10. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Hao wanawake wa zamani. Nina mashaka kama kizazi hiki chetu kuna atakayeendekeza huo upuuzi. Lol
     
  11. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    hilo la kufia barabarani naanza kulielewa sasa Kongosho..... Je kwa mwanamke atamuhudumia kwa moyo kweli au ndo mradi tu wamemstiri? Namaanisha Matunzo humo ndani yatakuwa ya dhati au mradi kilichojificha chini ya paa hakuna ajuaye?
     
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  12. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    wala si uongo,najaribu kuvaa viatu vya mwanamke aliyepita hapo nahisi vinanibana kusema ukweli BT,mtu akuache uhangaike na watoto,utukanwe kuwa hujui kumridhisha mume,udharaulike kiasi cha kujiona hufai,unyimwe haki yako ya msingi ya ndoa kwa miaka kadhaa,na kisha anarudi ukiwa umeshajimudu,umesomesha watoto,umeanzisha miradi yako,yeye anarudi na magonjwa yake na bado jamii inasahau yote hayo unalazimishwa to take him back!eti ndio maana ya ndoa katika shida na raha!ni ngumu zaidi ya tunavyofikiri,unachosema kuwa unatamani aje mwanamke aliyepita hapa atuambie alimeza hilo kaa la moto vipi!
     
  13. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Haijalishi kwa moyo au kwa mapafu, kilichopo familia imeshampokea na inamhudumia.


    Kuhudumia kwa moyo sasa inabidi mwanamke a-connect na 'higher power' kama huo moyo waweza kurudi.

     
  14. Safari_ni_Safari

    Safari_ni_Safari JF-Expert Member

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    Ni kwa sababu ya watoto ( the usual excuse )
     
  15. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Ni ngumu lakini inawezekana

    Na kwa kawaida ukienda hata hospitali ukakuta mtu ameingiziwa vyuma mwilini kama sehemu ya matibabu unaona kama huwezi vumulia mateso hayo. Ila likishakupata ndio utajua kuwa linabebeka.

    Hakuna kitu kigumu saaaaana kisichowezekanika, ni jinsi akili yako unavyoiandaa tu.

     
  16. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Hivi unadhani ni rahisi mtu uliyeoana naye azikwe na City?
    Au azikwe na ndugu zake na familia yake haikuhudhuria??

     
  17. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Ndio nakupa uzoefu huo
    Mamndenyi, hebu njoo huku

     
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  18. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    lakini ingekuwa ni mwanamke mngejadili hivi jamani?yani mi nikapurushwe maji hukooooooo miaka ka m5 hiv halafu nirudi unanipokea?nauliza utaweza kweli ?moyo umeumbwa kwa nyama Kongosho
     
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  19. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kwanza hiyo miaka kumi ishirini bado ni mumeo? YAni hujadai talaka tu? Kama ana watoto basi watoto wake shurti wamuudumie baba yao. Lol. Mimi undugu uliisha.
     
  20. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    na hvi ni rahisi kwa mtu aliyeoana naye kumuacha na watoto na we kwenda kwa kishtobe chake?
     
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