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Nimkubalie?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Bi. Senti 50, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. Bi. Senti 50

    Bi. Senti 50 JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 14, 2008
    Joined: Apr 17, 2007
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    Nimepatwa na utata kidogo, sina mahali pengine pa kuuliza bila kujulikana na ninaomba ushauri wa kweli.

    Mimi ni mama single, mwanangu ana miaka minne tu. Mimi na baba yake tuliachana kama mwaka mmoja na nusu baada ya yeye kuamua kuzaa nje ya ndoa yetu.

    Nikajitutumua mimi mwenyewe na kwa kiasi kikubwa nimeweza kufanya mambo yangu mimi mwenyewe na maisha siyo mabaya sana. Hata hivyo karibu mwaka mmoja sasa nimekuwa nikijidedicate kumhudumia mwanangu na kuandaa maisha bora ya huko mbeleni na hasa kuamua kukaa single.

    Nimekuwa nikiwatolea wengi nje kwa sababu najua wanachotaka ni kitu kimoja tu. Sasa tangia kikao cha februari kuna mheshimiwa mmoja ambaye amekuwa akinionesha ukaribu na ukarimu katika mambo mengine na tangu wakati huo hajagusia neno lolote la mapenzi kiasi cha kuanza kumuamini na pole pole nimeanza kujikuta ninavutwa kwake. Hata hivyo sikumtumia "signal" zozote za kuashiria ninavyojisikia.

    Sasa wamekuja hii juzi na akanikaribisha DDM Hotel kwa chakula cha mchana na akanidondoshea hilo bomu kuwa ananitaka. Sasa tatizo ni kuwa huyu bwana ana mke na watoto (mmoja ameondoka majuzi kwenda US), na mke wake ni mtumishi pia serikalini. Anataka nimpe jibu kabla hawajaondoka na amenihakikishia kuwa ati nisiwe na wasiwasi mimi na mwanangu tutaishi vizuri tu.

    Nilimuuliza kwanini anataka kuwa nami wakati ana mke? kasema ati mke wake yuko busy sana na hawezi kusafiri mara nyingi na majaribu mengi njiani anataka awe na "mtu" ambaye anamjali n.k

    Kwa kweli, najua ni jambo la kipuuzi lakini mwenzenu nimetingwa. Naomba ushauri.

    asanteni and I'm out.
     
  2. M

    Mama JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 14, 2008
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    Mwaya huyo jamaa achana nae. Hapo anakuambia na wewe kati ya hayo majaribu. Mtu mwenye mke hawezi kukupa good time mweee. Unataka kuwa kiconcubine cha mtu....achana na tamaa za starehe za muda mfupi. Anza kum-imagine kuwa ni HIV positive then you will know how to get out of him. Subiri utapata ambaye hana mke. CHA MTU MAVI
     
  3. R

    Ras-nungwi Member

    #3
    Apr 14, 2008
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    usikubali kuingia katika majaribu ya kuwa " another woman" hasara zake ni kubwa kuliko faida
     
  4. Maskni Wa Akili

    Maskni Wa Akili Member

    #4
    Apr 14, 2008
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    Mpe mama long time hujakubali sasa naona vishawishi vya mwili vime take over. Treat every night kama one night stand. Najua UNAJUA jibu sahihi ila unataka kuhalalisha uzinifu unaotarajia kuufanya. Ninavyoona mimi toa tu mama watu wafaidi mavituuuz ila usidhani utaolewa hapo. Chukulia kama sehemu ya kukuliwaza wakati unatafuta wa kudumu.
     
  5. Capitol Hill

    Capitol Hill JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 14, 2008
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    Nenda naye lunch halafu unampiga kibuyu. Ana mikakati gani na wewe wakati mkewe akirudi? Yeye yuko interested na short term relationship tena ambayo ni convenient kwake yeye...angekuwa anakujali angefikiria kuhusu mkewe na wewe na feelings kuwa hurt either way.
     
  6. Bangusilo

    Bangusilo Senior Member

    #6
    Apr 14, 2008
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    hii imekaa ki mkwawa mkwawa
     
  7. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #7
    Apr 14, 2008
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    na miye naruhusiwa kutoa maoni?
     
  8. J

    Jamco_Za JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 14, 2008
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    Ni kweli kabisa kuna wakati ukimuhitaji huwezi kumpata hivyo hacha nae aendelee na mke wake au atafute pa kupeleka ka ukimwi kake anakojaribu kukasambaza.
     
  9. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 14, 2008
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    Unaposhikwa shikamana dada!
     
  10. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #10
    Apr 14, 2008
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    mmh.. hapa nadhani itakuwa shida kidogo kutoa ushauri maana upande mmoja natamani kukuambia "ukome"; upande mwingine nakuonea huruma maana yawezekana kweli uko matatani.

    Pima faida na hasara ya kumkubalia. Kinachozidi kingine fanya hicho.
     
  11. BiMkubwa

    BiMkubwa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 14, 2008
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    My dear, sijui una umri gani ili niweze kukupa ushauri unaoendana na rika lako. Wengi watanishangaa sana kusema hivi maana kuna mambo mengi ambayo yanamfanya mtu kufanya maamuzi ambayo si sawa kulingana na umri walio nao. Anyway regardless of anything and everything being constant, HUHITAJI KUWA NYUMBA NDOGO YA MTU AWAYE YEYOTE YULE DUNIANI my dear.

    1. kukubali kwako kuwa mpenzi wa huyu mwanaume ina-confirm yale yote yanayosemwa na yanayoaminika(myths) kuwa mwanamke hana thamani. Kwanza umekosa nini hadi uanze kumtamani mume wa mwanamke mwenzio? Ndio maana nikakuuliza una umri gani? Kama uko ktk rika kati ya miaka 25 - 36 utakuwa pressurised by society kuwa ukamilifu wako unapatikana pale unapokuwa na mwanaume. Sasa huo ukamilifu wako utapatikana kwa kuibia mume wa mtu? Do not make decisions based on envy. Whatever you see is good for the gander may never be good for the goose.

    2. Ninaamini MUNGU ndiye aliyeumba kitu NDOA. Na alipanga kuwa kila mwanaume atapata wa kufanana naye na kila mwanamke wa kufanana naye. KAMWE Mungu hakupanga wewe UWE na huyo MUME wa MTU. Ndio uliwahi olewa je umewahi kujiuliza ile misingi ya ndoa yako uliyokuwa nayo hapo mwanzoni ilikuwa misingi thabiti? Nimeona ndoa za vijana wengi zikivunjika kwa kutokuwa na misingi imara na wamebaki kulaumu matokeo kama kuzaa nje, kuacha kazi, uzinzi n.k. Cha muhimu uelewe ni kwamba ndoa yoyote ili idumu inapaswa iwe na misingi thabiti. This should be a very good lesson for you and your future husband but not your future-someone-else's-husband.

    3. Kama huyo mheshimiwa anaweza akakudanganya kuwa mke wake yuko busy sana na ni sababu tosha kwako kurukia opportunity hiyo, je umemuuliza huo ubusy unatokana na nini? Kwa nini asifanye jitihada ya yeye kutenga muda wa yeye na mkewe ku-enjoy? Je anaelewa huo ubusy pengine ni kwa ajili ya kuijenga familia yake?


    4. Huyo baba amekusoma na ameona kuwa wewe ni binti mpweke ambaye anahitaji mwenza and he is playing his cards well. Kama unataka another run for love. Go out, mingle na vijana wa umri wako, go out with friends for lunch. You never know......... bora hata ujigonge kwa Zitto maana he is still available or he might have a friend who is in search of a loving wife lakini sio mume wa mtu There is nothing you will gain out of it other than half appreciation, half acknowledgement, half consideration, half admiration, half respect etc etc

    5. Why go for less when you can have it all with someone else? You are looking at a very small playing field. Kila siku umezungukwa na waheshimiwa usifikiri waheshimiwa ndio watu pekee duniani. Dunia ni kubwa tembea uone. Nimekutana na watu ambao hawakuwahi kuzaa na waume wa watu, wana elimu tosha ila wamekuja kukutana na their life partners when they were 36 years and beyond when doing PHDs. And they are actually doing better off than most early marriages I have seen. I say so kwa sababu ni watu waliotengeneza union wakielewa wazi nini maana ya ndoa na commitmments zao kwa wenzi wao.

    My take you are still young life starts at 40! Do not go cheap liaisons, you are worth more.........
     
  12. K

    Kithuku JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 15, 2008
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    Hapo ndipo pabaya! Anataka kukuingiza kwenye ufisadi wa ngono! Huyo ni wa kumuogopa kuliko ukoma! Imagine umejitunza miaka yote na mwanao halafu jamaa anataka akupakaze mijanaba ya ufisadi halafu aingie mitini! Kimbia!
     
  13. Killuminati

    Killuminati JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 15, 2008
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    You are damn right huu ni upuuzi!!I predict that you will end up messed up more than before!!Use your brain, the situation is straight forward and good luck sista!!
     
  14. Kana-Ka-Nsungu

    Kana-Ka-Nsungu JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    BiMkubwa usimdanganye mwenzako akajajutia maisha yake bure, at 45 menopause kicks in and sex becomes a nightmare- unenjoyable and unpleasant! Kwanini tusimshauri tu atumie condom, anaonekama kakaa muda mrefu bila kamchezo na ana kiu cha kufa mtu, go for it sister but make sure you play it safe. Hao mabachelor wako wapi? tena wengi wao hawapendi wanawake ambao wana watoto.
     
  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #15
    Apr 15, 2008
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    Nilijua na hii utaidandia....
     
  16. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #16
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    Kwa nini ajigonge kwa Zitto wakati Nyani is single and ready to mingle? Bi Thumni usiwe na wasiwasi nitakutumia PM and we'll go from there...
     
  17. YournameisMINE

    YournameisMINE JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 15, 2008
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    yaani ujanja wako wooooote, kumbe mpaka karne hii bado watu wanakuingiza kingi kwa viji-offer vya lunch!!?? nimekudharau kupita kiasi........ukimkubali huyo baba, lazima akugusishe cheche!! labda mpime kwanza. goodluck!!.
     
  18. BiMkubwa

    BiMkubwa JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 15, 2008
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    Thats just a saying............ that you can still have a life regardless of time spent not having not having one. And you can never say you are too old and give up on basis of age.

    To me she sounds very young if she can fall for a line such as "my wife is very busy". She should look for better pastures.

    Tatizo pia I think she is so consumed and enamored by waheshimiwa. At least she has asked for counsel but I feel she also has a very low perception of herself to stoop that low and all she needs is a pick me up line from an old geezer

    Nyani, I will ask her to talk to you. Please do not misconstrue my statement of Zitto. I want her to think her age, come on she is a typical-african-woman-with-low-self-esteem all she needs is to think outside the box.
     
  19. DMussa

    DMussa JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 15, 2008
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    Bi Senti
    Nimekusoma ila hitimisho lako kidogo ni mushkeli.... Kuna vitu nataka uvielewe!
    1. Umesema uliachana na Mumeo mara tu alipoamua kuzaa nje ya ndoa, je kwa mawazo yako unafikiri huyo kigogo anatofauti gani na huyo mumeo mlioachana??? Kama uliona umefanya jambo la maana kuachana na mumeo kwa nini unajirahisi kwa huyo kigogo...au uko interested zaidi na hela zake?? > Kama utamkubalia huyo Kigogo napenda ujue kwamba hakukuwa na haja ya wewe kuachana na mumeo kabisaaaaa!!!!! Unaruka majivu unakanyaga moto....what for???
    2. Wewe ni mama na una mtoto, nakusihi uache tamaa ile uyafikie malengo yako ya kumpatia mwanao maisha bora!! La sivyo utakufa na miwaya kabla ya muda!

    3. Huyo jamaa yaonekana wazi hakuwa mkarimu kama unavyofikiria... hiyo ni tactic mojawapo katika kuwapata mademu wanaojifanya wanajua kupiga vibuti...just wait and you'll see!!! Utampa anachotaka and the next minute he'll be gone....!!!!

    4. Nakupa pole sana kwa sababu najua unaimiss hiyo kitu vibaya!!! ila usichoke vumilia mambo mazuri hayataki haraka!!!

    All the best......!!!
     
  20. Bubu Msemaovyo

    Bubu Msemaovyo JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 15, 2008
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    Dada huyo MH. ni TAPELI,
    1. Njia alizotumia ni mbinu kali sana za kuhakikisha anakupata. Kukualika lunch ni mbinu nzuri ya watu wa aina hiyo kukupata vizuri tabia yako, naungana na mchangiaji mmoja aliyesema angependa kujua umri wako ili akupe mawazo yake kulingana na umri. Hujakosea kuomba msaada.
    2. Mkewe kuwa "BUSY" ni mwanya mbaya ambao amekuachia wewe uujaze lakini huku akijua ni mtego mbaya kwako, je siku akiwa hayuko "BUSY" nafasi yako ni nini"
    3. Inawezekana Mkewe yuko "BUSY" kuepukana na matatizo aliyonayo huyo Mh.

    Nakushauri kwa kuwa ulishaonja joto la jiwe ukaweza kufikia hapo ulipo hadi sasa HUYO MH ACHANA NAYE!!!!!!
     
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