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Nimepoteza hamu kwa mke wangu,nifanyaje?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Attache, Sep 25, 2012.

  1. Attache

    Attache Senior Member

    #1
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Ni muda mfupi tangu nimuoe mke wangu na tumebahatika kupata mtoto wa kiume mwaka jana. Tatizo ni kuwa,muda huu mke wangu kaongeza mapenzi kwangu ila mimi simpendi tena kama ilivyokua zamani na hata hamu naye imepungua. Sina nyumba ndogo na sijawahi kutoka nje ya ndoa hata mara moja wala sina mwanamke nje anayenichanganya. Hali hii imetokea ghafla na ninadhani bado hajatambua lakini ninawasiwasi atatambua punde kwa sababu hata kumuambia nakupenda imekua vigumu sana nowadays. Je hii ni kawaida katika ndoa na ni kipindi cha mpito? nifanyaje niweze kuondoa hali hii?
    Ninaomba msaada wana jf.
     
  2. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 25, 2012
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    Fanya kila uwezalo ili asijue kwamba huna hamu naye na uendelee kumwambia unampenda hata mara mbili/tatu kwa siku. Haikupunguzii lolote katika kumwambia unampenda kila siku iendayo kwa Mungu...inawezekana labda una mkanganyiko wa akili, kama ni hivyo basi unahitaji msaada wa wataalamu.
     
  3. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Kazini kuko sawa?
    Familia yako haisumbui?

    Kama hayo yote yako sawa, katambike kidogo.
     
  4. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 25, 2012
    Joined: Aug 2, 2012
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    vipi kuhusu matarajio yako ya kimaisha?
    unardihika ulipo kazini?
    mkeo unahisi amebadilika umbile alilokuwa nalo mwanzo?
    unahisi mkeo ana attention sana na mtoto kuliko wewe?
    kifedha je unamudu kuprovide kwa familia yako?
    unajiamini uwezo wako wa kijinsia uko poa?
    kuna kitu negative umesikia kuhusu mkeo?
    unahisi mkeo amekudominate kiuchumi,kielimu,kimawasiliano,?
    hebu funguka zaidi kwa mwongozo huo hapo juu!
     
  5. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 25, 2012
    Joined: Nov 28, 2010
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    Aisee unahitaji kusali sana na kuomba Mungu yaani ikatae hiyo hali katika jina la Yesu; nina imani kwa maombi utashiand. Pia tumia mbinu aliyokupa BAK, kwamba ujitahidi usimuoneshe. Jaribu kumuomba au kutengeneza utaratibu wa kusali naye jioni kabla ya kulala. Ni upepo huu, ukipita waweza pita na ndoa yenu; hivyo upunguze nguvu kwa kusali.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  6. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 25, 2012
    Joined: Apr 12, 2012
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    mkuu Attache nakupongeza sana kwa kuwa mkweli sana na kutuonyesha uhalisia ambao watu wengi huukataa ama huona kama dhambi kuukiri kwamba wanapita katika hali hiyo.

    kwanza nakutia moyo si jambo la ajabu kwa mtu na mkewe kupotezeana hamu. hali hii hutokana na sababu nyingi sana na nitajaribu kusema chache nyingine wadau wataongezea.

    1) kukinai- kama ambavyo mtu akila menu moja mara nyingi hukinai kadhalika na wapenzi hukinaiana hali hii usipokuwa makini nayo unaweza kujikuta unakwenda kutafuta ladha tofauti nje na ya hapo kwako. ni vyema ukajua hili kisha ukatafuta namna ya kunogesha penzi lako humo ndani.

    2) kuchokana kutokana na kuzoeana kuliko pitiliza- ni wazi kwamba kwenye mapenzi mazoea hayatakiwa hata kidogo. kila siku inabidi wenzi wajitahd kuimprovise mambo mapya ili kutokuzoeana hili litapunguza ile hali ya kuona ni kawaida tu awepo asiwepo.

    3) mapenzi kwa watoto- hali ya kuzaliwa mtoto katika familia huleta furaha kwani ni baraka ya ajabu kati yenu. lakini sasa mapenzi haya yakielekezwa kwa watoto tu yakasahahulika kwa upande wa nyie mnaowaunganisha hao watoto mambo huenda kombo.

    4) matamanio ya life style za wengine- hii ni kutokana na exposure ambayo mmoja wa wapenzi anaipata so kama mmtu ana marafiki ambao life style yao ni aya aina fulan na ukiangalia ya kwako ni tofauti basi automatically utaishia kutokuyapenda maisha yako simply kwasababu unaona hayafanani na yale ambayo unatamani mkeo awe anayafanya yanayosadifu uliyoayaona.

    5) overexpectation especially before joining together. kuna watu wengi ambao enzi za uchumba watakuwa wana over expectation nyingi juu ya wenzi wao sasa wanapokuja kuish maisha halisi hali huwa tete manake anakuta alotarajia sio hivyo hukosa hamu nae kabisa.

    6) pretendence hili husababishwa na maigizo mengi yasiyokuwa ya kweli wakati wa uchumba sasa unapokuja ndania kila mtu anaonekana jinsi alivyo ndipo kuchokana kunapokuja.

    7) kulea- wengi wa akina mama hubadilika maumbo na harufu za mwili wanapokuwa wanalea watoto wadogo sasa kama mkeo amebadilika labda kawa mnene zaid ama ana harufu fulan ama nywele zake ndefu zimekatika katika ama ngozi imekuwa sio nyororo tena ama kifua kimetanuka sana nk


    namna ya kufanya ili kuepukana na hali hii.

    chunguza kwa makini sababua ya wewe kumchoka je ni kwasababu analea, ama upendo kahamishia kwa mtoto nk? ukishajua fanya haya yafuatayo.

    1) yale ambayo ni yake binafsi like usafi, uvaaji nk yarekebisha kwa kumwelekeza kwa upendo. mgharamie nywele ziwe utakavyo na hata ngozi iwe upendavyo.

    2) yale ambayo yanatokana na tabia labda aliigiza sasa badili mid set yako kwamba she is real now and anza kuishughulikia tabia moja baada ya nyingine hadi ziwe kama upendavyo.

    3) kama sababu ni kukinai ama mazoea ama yakufanana na hayo, just try to improvise sio kila siku mlale kitandani siku nyingne tupa godoro chini mlale chini ili tu kuwepo na kaupya fulan humo ndani, pia mshirikishe mubuni njia tofauti ya kupeana mapenzi na mshirikishe kweny kuimprovise.

    ikishindikana kabisa take a vacation mwambie labda aende kijijini kusalimia ama wewe chukua likizo safiri just fofr a weak ili umiss naamin akirudi mambo yatakuwa safi. kamwe usitoke nje ya ndoa yako.

    nakuitia pia snowhoite aje aendelee hapa nilipoishia. ila usiogope tafuta suluhu ya tatizo lako kwa makini. kumbuka kusali daima.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 25, 2012
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    nimeitika mapema my dear nimempa hints hapo juu achek anafall wapi then tuzungumze zaidi ila umefunguka vizuri sana my dear hapo atujuze zaidi ili tujue tunafanye,mi nimependa pia he is so honest!kitu ambacho wengi wetu kinatushinda sana,kesi yake ni rahisi since ameshagundua tatizo na anakiri udhaifu hivyo ni tahisi sana kumsaidia
    hili la KUSALI nalo la msingi sana tunajisahau sana kuombea ndoa zetu tukiwa pamoja!
     
  8. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 25, 2012
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    gfsonwin umeichambua vizuri ashindwe mwenyewe sasa. Ila nimempenda kuseek advice kabla hajaharibu!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  9. Penelope

    Penelope JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Kuna mtu mzima fulani (mwanaume)nlishakaa nae akaniambia katika ndoa sa nyingine hali ya kuchokana ipo na upendo kuhis kupungua kwa mwenzako.I hope hayo ni mapito tu katika ndoa,,cha msingi we ndo unajua kama kweli ulimpenda huyo mama watt wako then she deserve a chance,take your time to find wht is missing.
     
  10. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Ni upepo tu utapita....sina uzoefu na hili maana halijanipata ila nimesoma ushauri wa snowhite mwalimu wangu na gfsonwin my sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeetlooooo umeeenda shule uzingatie. Kipengele cha kusali, Kaunga kakisema vizuri, huyo ni mwanafunzi wangu wa kiroho.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  11. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 25, 2012
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    thanks Kaunga, hata mie nimempenda sana kwani kawa muwazi na kasema before anything bad has happened.
    hivi wajua love grows exponentially? na inapofikia climax huwa stationary na baadae huanza kudrop tena. but mara nyingi sana wanawake ndo huwa na uwezo wakuifanya i peak tena sasa kama mkewe sio mtu mwenye exposure sana anaweza kuishia kuona kama anasalitiwa ama maisha hayampendi tena.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  12. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 25, 2012
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    my swtlo mzima weye?
     
  13. happiness win

    happiness win JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Kemea kabisa, pepo vunja ndoa linakunyemelea. Ikabidhi ndoa yako mikononi mwa Mungu.
     
  14. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Sep 25, 2012
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    mzima sana sweetlo, juhudi zako za mtori na uji wa ulezi....aaaah mi wala sina wasi wasi...lol....hebu kujapande zile
     
  15. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 25, 2012
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    pole,

    hauna stress?

    Badilisheni mazingira, tafuteni waga mpya, na usali kuombea ndoa yako
     
  16. cacico

    cacico JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 25, 2012
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    mimi ndoa nazi:yo:, maana kila leo, aheri ya jana! kila nikiingia MMU nakutana na kisa kizito zaidi ya kingine! TUSISAHAU KUSALI!
     
  17. cacico

    cacico JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Sep 25, 2012
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    mke mwenza, nimekumisss sana ujue!
     
  18. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Kweli dunia ni duara.......lakini nimekumbuka roho ziko nyingi hakika.
    Back to the topic: Sina uzoefu wa ndani lakini kwa kusikia na kuona.....mleta sredi amefanya timing nzuri sana kuona tatizo mapema.............ukimjibu hayo maswali hapo juu aliyokuuliza snowhite tunaweza pata njia maana nia ipo.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  19. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Ndoa nazi ndiyo nini hicho
     
  20. Elijah

    Elijah JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 25, 2012
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    Mtafutie mtu mwingine wa kumliwaza,au mlete kwangu
     
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