NIMEKOMA kushobokea vi-offer mbuzi! (My Bad Friday Night)

[Speaker]

Peopleeeeeeeeeessss! (Wakubwa zangu shikamooni)

Natumai wote wazima, na hakuna alieshikwa kwenye maandamano sababu wengi wenu wazee WAKUJIKAUSHA na kufatilia kwenye tv. (With the exception with fazaa, sijui kama umepona mpambanaji wa ukweli) Mie mzima nimetoka kwenye upambe nuksi wa uchaguzi wa Wanawake wa CCM huko (lazima nijikombe viti maalumu mchezo!!!) na mgombea wangu kashindwa, anyway sio mwisho wa dunia, tunajipanga upya. Life has to go on.

Kubwa lilinonileta hapa ni tukaio lililonikuta ijumaa jioni, Daaaaaah! Acheni tu! Almanusura nipewe MITAICHI, TAIKONDO, JUDO, KARATE, SUMARAI, KUNGFU, SUMO NA KICK BOXING KWA MPIGO!!!! Chezeya wachina nyie.

Ishu ilikuwa hivi, mchaga kasafiri kikazi sasa nikaona kuwahi kulala ijumaa kwa sie wanywaji ni zambi, so nitafute mishe mishe za japo kupunguza kiu kwa tuhenken tuwili ili nisiamke na hangover. Basi kuna sharo flani hivi aliniofferga dinner , nikawa sisomeki kwenye radar, sasa kila nikikutana nae inakuwa kama deni vilee, haishi kuniinvite over n over. Nikaona nimtafute tukapunguze mawazo kidogo. Basi nikamuuliza if the offer still stands akasema yah! Tukaonana tayari kwa dinner.

Akaniuliza ungependa kwenda wapi? Nikamwambia chagua weye! (Maksudically sabab yeye ndo anajua ana bajeti gani, itatosha wapi, alaf hawa masharo wasumbufu sana, ukimpeleka uswazi anaweza kukushusha bure) Akangangania bana chagua mwenyewe(mie ndo nichague) Mimi nikachgua bana, twende kwenye kisehem flani cha wachina nasikia wanauza wine na liquor za China, Taiwan na Hongkong. Akakubali banaaa. Kufika ushamba mzigo, nikamuuliza mhdumu whats is the favourite ya wengi hapo, akanitajia nikamwambia tuletee. Inapimwa kwenye tuglass tudogo, sie tunatirishia tumboni tu. Ni tamu kusema kweli, magnificient! Glass moja yaanzisha ingine.

Midamida tukaitisha bili basi, sharo kuona bili sura ikamsawajikaaa! mie kimyaa!,Mara akanigea nikaitazama, ni nomaaa! Kumbe the shit was damn expensive!!!! Ila nikanyuti sikusema chochote. Basi ndo kuniambia kwa upole, i cant cover this bill, nina shoti!!! Mtumeeeeeeeee! Na mie ndo sikubeba pesaa! Chupi ilinibanajeeee! Nikajikaza kibingwa nikamwambia toa basi uliyonayo, Ndo kunipa robo ya bili!!!!!!!!! Nikaona huyu anatka anichakachue, mwenyewe wa kitaa vile vile, nikamwambia Mimi natoa pesa ya nusu yangu tuuu, we hiyo robo iliyobaki utajiju! Nikaza kwenye kitita cha ofisi nikakwapua kadhaa, kumcheki huku mtu chozi linamlengalenga. Nikaona aibu za nini nikamuita muhudumu, nikamlipa bili yote. Sema ndo kanitia SHOTI KUBWAAA! HAIKUWA MPANGO!!!! Tukaondoka kimyakimya, njiani analeta story za ILL MAKE IT UP TO U!!!!( He will make it up to me My As*) I SO SORRY! Blah! Blah! Blah!

Hapa najamba jamba kupata pesa ya kujazia kitita cha ofisi kesho ndo kesho!!!! Na uchaguzi ndo tumepoteza, najihisi malaria, sijui nimwambie nini mchaga anitumie hizo MBESA za watu.

Aiseeee ha ha.
Jamaa mjanja sana,hamna kuchunwa chunwa siku hizi he he.

 

[Mpitagwa]

Shalo alikuwa anataka kulia, si ungeniita mimi nije nimtandike vibao na kuclear bill. Utamwambiaje sholi achugue sehemu wakati wewe hata kilo huna. Uchovu gani huo mjini? Huna unasema leo siko flesh kidogo twende kwene henken mbilmbili unasingizia unareport za kumalizia siku inapita. Sio kutoa chozi, unamlilia amekuwa maza wako huyo?

 

[Fixed Point]

Mtambuzi kuna sehemu ukimpa mtu offer
hata ukiwa na laki haitoshi...

kuna beer zinaitwa corona i guess ..
ukipata mtu akazigida zaidi ya kumi kama ni five star hotel...umeumbuka lol..

tukitoka na hubby huwa napewa onyo kali............ "chagua kinywaji au chakula unachotaka, marufuku kuangalia kule mwisho kwenye kabei" sikawii kusema nimeshikwa tumbo ghafla ili tutoke hapo. huwa nina allergy na bill

 

[The Boss]

tukitoka na hubby huwa napewa onyo kali............ "chagua kinywaji au chakula unachotaka, marufuku kuangalia kule mwisho kwenye kabei" sikawii kusema nimeshikwa tumbo ghafla ili tutoke hapo. huwa nina allergy na bill

Ukiwa unajua vyema your role as a wife
'allergy na bills' ndo inatakiwa...
Hongera...

 

[Fixed Point]

Ukiwa unajua vyema your role as a wife
'allergy na bills' ndo inatakiwa...
Hongera...

Asante rafiki, ila wababa hamtaki kuonekana umeshindwa kumnunulia mkeo kitu sababu ya bei, lol!

 

[Fixed Point]

lara 1 next time ukipata tena sharo hakikisha yeye ndo anachagua kiwanja, na umwambie kabisa kuwa wewe huna kitu, usipofanya hivyo hayo yatakukuta tena na tena.
mimi huwa nikipanga kutoka na mtu huwa namwambia kabisa bill ni kwangu au nitachangia au sitatoa chochote. na nikisema sitatoa kitu, yeye ndo achague tunaenda wapi

 

[The Boss]

Asante rafiki, ila wababa hamtaki kuonekana umeshindwa kumnunulia mkeo kitu sababu ya bei, lol!

Yes...ni kawaida
but ukiwa na mke anae ku remind matumizi mazuri..
its a blessing..

 

[lara 1]

Shalo alikuwa anataka kulia, si ungeniita mimi nije nimtandike vibao na kuclear bill. Utamwambiaje sholi achugue sehemu wakati wewe hata kilo huna. Uchovu gani huo mjini? Huna unasema leo siko flesh kidogo twende kwene henken mbilmbili unasingizia unareport za kumalizia siku inapita. Sio kutoa chozi, unamlilia amekuwa maza wako huyo?

Umeonaaaa! Mashauzi yanataka pesaaa!

 

[Mabreka]

the number one rule ya mtoko ni hii kwa mwanaume

Usimpeleke mwanamke sehemu ambayo wewe mwenyewe hujawahi kwenda...
mpeleke sehemu familiar ambayo sio tu unajua bei zote
iwe ni sehemu ambayo unajua mpaka bar manager jina lake
na yeye anakufahamu,
hata ukiishiwa au hata kupoteza wallet...hakiharibiki kitu..
hapa nazungumzia first date...

mkuu hapa napingana na ww,
coz sehem ambambo huwa unaenda mara mara bila shaka utakuwa unafahamika na wahudumu (baa-med) sasa ukienda hapo na mchuchu wanaweza wakaharibu picha na mchuchu akala kona.

Ni marufuku kwenda bar/ hotel/ gest uliozoea na mchuchu especially on firstdate.

1.Mchuchu atakuchukuliaje unaenda nae gest/bar/ hotelin unaambiwa na mhudumu "dar samahan leo kile chumba chako kimeshachukuliwa, ila leo nitakupa kile kule kwenye kona.

2. unaenda bar unakaa tu mhudumu anakuletea serengeti ya barid na valuu bila hata kuagiza koz wanajua unachotumia, wakati mchuchu mlokole ushamdanganya kuwa hutumii masanga.

never never kwenda na mchuchu bar yako ya kila siku watakuumbua.

 

[lara 1]

lara 1 next time ukipata tena sharo hakikisha yeye ndo anachagua kiwanja, na umwambie kabisa kuwa wewe huna kitu, usipofanya hivyo hayo yatakukuta tena na tena.
mimi huwa nikipanga kutoka na mtu huwa namwambia kabisa bill ni kwangu au nitachangia au sitatoa chochote. na nikisema sitatoa kitu, yeye ndo achague tunaenda wapi

Saivi nimekomaa ubishi! Nikitoka na mchaga wangu tu yule asie na uswahili Baaaass!

 

[The Boss]

mkuu hapa napingana na ww,
coz sehem ambambo huwa unaenda mara mara bila shaka utakuwa unafahamika na wahudumu (baa-med) sasa ukienda hapo na mchuchu wanaweza wakaharibu picha na mchuchu akala kona.

Ni marufuku kwenda bar/ hotel/ gest uliozoea na mchuchu especially on firstdate.

1.Mchuchu atakuchukuliaje unaenda nae gest/bar/ hotelin unaambiwa na mhudumu "dar samahan leo kile chumba chako kimeshachukuliwa, ila leo nitakupa kile kule kwenye kona.

2. unaenda bar unakaa tu mhudumu anakuletea serengeti ya barid na valuu bila hata kuagiza koz wanajua unachotumia, wakati mchuchu mlokole ushamdanganya kuwa hutumii masanga.

never never kwenda na mchuchu bar yako ya kila siku watakuumbua.

Wewe kweli ni Mabreka lol

Iko namna hiii.....
kuna age fulani na jinsi unavyoji handle..hata uende wapi
watu wakikuona upo na mtu ambae hawamjui na hawajui una
relate nae vipi,wana kuwa na adabu...

so mimi nazungumzia kwenda places ambazo watu
wana 'adabu na wewe'....
but still wanakujua......it goes with age na watu pia..

 

[CharmingLady]

duh,pole shost. . . siku nyingine nenda na pesa ya ziada pia kunywa kinywaji ama chakula ambacho una uwezo wa kulipa!

 

[Fixed Point]

Yes...ni kawaida
but ukiwa na mke anae ku remind matumizi mazuri..
its a blessing..

ha haaaaaa, umenifurahishaje sasa rafiki......
siku hizi hubby akiona anataka kuninunulia kitu expensive hata haendi na mimi nikachague, anawaambia wenye duka kuwa nanunua hiki kitu, ila nitampa huyu mtu option ya kuja kuchagua ambacho atakipenda zaidi.......... nimeshamrudisha dukani mara kibao akaamua kusema basi......

 

[The Boss]

ha haaaaaa, umenifurahishaje sasa rafiki......
siku hizi hubby akiona anataka kuninunulia kitu expensive hata haendi na mimi nikachague, anawaambia wenye duka kuwa nanunua hiki kitu, ila nitampa huyu mtu option ya kuja kuchagua ambacho atakipenda zaidi.......... nimeshamrudisha dukani mara kibao akaamua kusema basi......

aiseee.....we mpare nini? lol

 

[Fixed Point]

Saivi nimekomaa ubishi! Nikitoka na mchaga wangu tu yule asie na uswahili Baaaass!

hata na hao wengine toka nao, ila akili mkichwa

 

[Fixed Point]

aiseee.....we mpare nini? lol

sina hata chembe za upare.........
Ni mchumi, tujifunza jinsi ya ku-allocate resources efficiently (sio ubahili)

 

[Mentor]

Umeonaaaa eeeeeeh! Ila hujachelewa waweza kunisaidia kupunguza hasara! LOL!

Haha labda kupunguza hangova..ama buy lunch for ya..aint giving u cash!

 

[Mabreka]

Wewe kweli ni Mabreka lol

Iko namna hiii.....
kuna age fulani na jinsi unavyoji handle..hata uende wapi
watu wakikuona upo na mtu ambae hawamjui na hawajui una
relate nae vipi,wana kuwa na adabu...

so mimi nazungumzia kwenda places ambazo watu
wana 'adabu na wewe'....
but still wanakujua......it goes with age na watu pia..

ok mkuu hapo nimekuelewa,

Ila Lara 1 kamfanya sharo konfo linshuke hadi ziro,
hata kuomba tena kale kamchezo ketu hawezi tena, hata akimpa bila kuomba anaweza asiweze kupafom,

namwonea huruma sharo wa watu

 

[telitaibi]

Pole lol

Hongera kwa kuweza kuepuka aibu ya kuletwa hapa ukiwa umepigwa kapicha ukiwa na sharo mnaosha viombo na kumenya viazi kufidia bill.

 

[lara 1]

Haha labda kupunguza hangova..ama buy lunch for ya..aint giving u cash!

Acha kuremisha kuwa kutoa cash ni kuchunwa!!! Perhaerps cash unayo ya kumwaga bt time kwako ni scarcity!!!! LOL! If u buy me lunch nitakuwa nakuchuna hivoooo.