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Nimekamata tunguri za limbwata za mke wangu, nimfanyaje?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by tanga kwetu, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. tanga kwetu

    tanga kwetu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Nina umri wa miaka 37 na nimeoana na mke wangu huyu miaka mitani iliyopita na tumejaaliwa mtoto mmoja wa miaka mimme na nusu sasa.

    Maisha yetu kiuchumi na kimahusiano ni mazuri...kama kuna mikwaruzana ni ile 'ya kawaida' ndani ya ndoa.


    Sie wote ni asili yetu ya bara na tumekulia katika maadili mazuri ya Kikristo. Wazazi wetu wote hawakuwavalisha watoto wao yale 'makolokolo' ambayo watoto wengi huwa wanavaa na hadi sasa kati yetu wawili hakuna aliye na 'chale' mwilini kumaanisha kwamba hatukuwa waumini wa mambo ya kienyeji!


    Last week nilikuwa safarini kikazi lakini nikarudi nyumbani siku 1 kabla ya siku iliyokuwa ikijulikana pale nyumbani. Nyumbani hakukuwa na mtu maana wote huwa tunaenda makazini na shuleni except housemaid aliyekuwa amesafiri wakati huo. Kwa kuhitaji Pasi (Iron) iliyokuwepo chumba cha wasichana kinachotumiwa na housemaid na mdogo wake wife, niliifuata. Next to ilipokuwepo Pasi, kulikuwa na mfuko mdogo wa plastic (Rambo) ambao nilivutiwa kuuangalia.


    Nilipoufungua-nilikaribia ku-faint kwa niliyoyaona!!!!! Kulikuwa na karatasi kama 3 zenye maandishi ya kiarabu na in between some lines kulikuwa na ama jina la mke wangu au langu. Pia kulikuwa na karatasi kadhaa zilizoandikwa kiarabu na maelezo kama 'CHOMA OGA 1 X 2 SIKU 3, CHOMA MWINAMO' pia kulikuwa na vitu kama unga unga kwenye makaratasi yenye maelekezo 'CHAKULA LIMBWATA' na 'KUNYWA 1 X 3 SIKU 6 na KUNYWA USIKU TU SIKU 2'.

    Kiufupi ni tunguri za limbwata. Nikaenda mjini kuwatafuta wanaojua maandishi haya na kuongeza uhakika niliwaulizia watu wawili tofauti sehemu tofauti na wote walinitafsiria kitu kimoja kwamba ni dawa toka kwa mganga za mtu anaeitwa (jina la mke wangu ndani ya baadhi ya karatasi zile) akitaka kumtia kwenye chupa mtu anaeitwa (jina langu) yaani nisisikie wa kuona wala kupinga chochote!
    Nilipowauliza, eti shemeji yangu anasema mzigo ni wa kwake ambapo kwa mimi naamini kaamua kuji-sacrifice. Wife yeye ameendelea kuukana katkata ule mzigo.

    My take:
    Kama ameshaanza biashara ya waganga wa kienyeji, leo kwa hilo, next time ataniendea kwa lipi? Mke wangu hakuwa mshabiki kabisa wa mambo kama hayo, sasa hofu yangu ni kwamba ameshaanza mambo ya mjini likely kudanganywa na wanawake wa mjini (Tanga) maana ni mambo common.
    What should I do?
     
  2. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Duuuh pole sana labda wife anakupenda sana anaona aendee kukandamizia malav dav.
    Kuna jamaa mmoja nafanya nae kazi huwa anasema akimuona wife anamfanyia Limbwata atamwambia ongeza tu mama eti kwa vile anamfanyia yeye ampende kwa hivo sio mbaya:A S 8::confused2:
    Mkalishe na umuulize kwa nini ana hayo matunguli ndani:becky:
     
  3. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 12, 2010
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    Mkuuu huku utapata wezi wa ndoa yako tuuuuu basii we kaa na mkeo tafuta sababu za yeye kufanya hivyo na mwambie anataka uweje mkae msuluhishe hata familia awatakusaidia nasema hivi kama mwanandoa nikiwa nimesimama na ndoa iliopita kwenye mabonde na milima wewe na mkeo ndio suluhisho la hili na kama uamini mpigie hata wazazi wako hii issue uone kama mtakaa kwa amani la maana simama na mungu kama aujaokoka anza sasa bado ujachelewa karibu sana pale biafra kwenye nyumba ya ibada kwa mwakasege upate neema ya bwana mungu asimame na ndoa yako tunaitaji kumwachia mungu asimame na ndoa zetu watu wengi wanahisi ukiwa na pesa nyumba nzuri shule nzuri na mengineyo ndoa imetulia kwa info wenye haya yote waulize usiku wanalalaje wacha ukiwaona mjini wanacheka kama si mngo wa 4 basi gorofa ya chini na ya juu isiwe kwako in jesus name
     
  4. Kigogo

    Kigogo JF-Expert Member

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    piga chini huna mke hapo mjukuu wangu
     
  5. Lukolo

    Lukolo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Kwa vyovyote vile shemeji yako ameamua kujilipua ili kulinda ndoa ya dadake. Pole sana mkuu. Biblia inasema enyi wanaume ishini kwa akili na wake zenu, na inasema wanawake ni viumbe wadhaifu. Usimuache, bali chukua tahadhari kwa kila jambo mnalofanya naye. Maji ya kuoga, chakula na vitu kama hivyo. Jitahidi kuhakikisha kwamba akikuandalia maji basi mnaoga wote, akiandaa chakula, mnakula wote pia.
     
  6. Ramthods

    Ramthods JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 12, 2010
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    Pole mkuu kwa yaliyokufika.

    Tatizo kubwa ambalo mi naliona hapo si kumshika mkeo na hayo 'makorokoro', bali ni huko kuukana huo mzigo.

    Kukosea kwa binadamu ni jambo la kawaida. Mkeo kama mtu mwingine anaweza teleza kwa kushawishiwa na rafiki/mashoga n.k na kujikuta katika matatizo asiyoyatarajia. Hili ni jambo la kawaida, hata sisi wanaume tunakosea mara kwa mara tu.

    Cha msingi sio kukosea, bali ni KUKUBALI KOSA na kuahidi kujirekebisha. Kama mtu hakubali kosa alilofanya, kuna uwezekano mkubwa kuwa hataliacha, pengine kwa sababu anaona ni sawa yeye kufanya hivyo, na uwezekano mkubwa ni kwamba atalirudia hilo kosa siku za mbeleni.

    Mkeo kutakaa kuwa hayo madubwana ni yake, inawezekana kuwa ana hofu na kile kitakachofuata pindi atakapokiri kuwa ni yake.

    Mimi ningekushauri utafute nafasi wewe na mkeo mkiwa mmetulia (pengine muende outing n.k), ongea nae kwa upole (usiwe mkali), mweleze ni nini madhara ya limbwata, na cha msingi mwonyeshe ni jinsi gani unamjali na kumpenda hivyo hakukuwa na haja ya yeye kufuata limbwata.

    Mwambie kwamba tayari umeshamsemehe, ila akuahidi kuwa hato rudia tena.

    Pia, nisingependa kuelemea upande mmoja. Hata wewe pia inabidi ujichunguze mwenendo wako. Inawezekana umebadilika na mkeo anahisi una hawara nje. Hakuna mwanamke aliye tayari kupoteza ndoa yake, tena ukizingatia mna mtoto na bado anakupenda. Atafanya juu chini kuhakikisha anaendelea kukumiliki. Kama mwenendo wako umebadilika kwa kiasi fulani (mfano kama kupungua kwa mapenzi), hata wewe utakuwa umehusika kiasi fulani kumshinikiza mkeo kutafuta njia za kukuweka karibu nae, ingawa alitumia njia isiyo sahihi.

    Natumaini hamta achana wewe na mkeo umpendaye. Lakini lazima uelewe kuwa kuna umuhimu wa wewe na mkeo kuwa karibu sana na Mungu kiroho na sio kimwili kawa walivyo wengi. Wekeni ratiba za kusali na kufanya ibada nyumbani, wewe mkeo na wote wanaoishi chini la paa la nyumba yako. Hayo yanayotokea kwenye nyumba yako sasa ni madhara ya kufanya ibada kwa mazoea - unaenda kanisani lakini hubadiliki kiroho.

    Pia, angalia sana mwenendo wa mkeo na marafiki zake, na ndugu zake pia. Pengine mdogo wa mkeo ndio mshauri wa hayo mambo? sisi sote hatujui. Ila usimwache mkeo mbali kiasi cha kuwa na tabia kama hiyo ambayo hukuitarajia (maana umesemea karibu uzimie ulipokutana na huo mfuko).

    Nakutakia kila laheri.
     
  7. 22nd

    22nd JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 12, 2010
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    mi hata sioni tatizo kama hiyo story hapo ya first lady, kama hilo limbwata ni kwa ajili ya wewe kumpenda mkeo poa tu tena mpe ushirikiano ila mapenzi yawe motomoto as long as sio la kukudhuru kiafya au kuondoa uhai
    ni mimi wa tanga handeni,nawakilisha
     
  8. Pengo

    Pengo JF-Expert Member

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    Pole sana,ukiona hivyo jua tayari ameshaliwa na wajanja ndio maana anatafuta njia ya kukudhibiti wewe,loh maskini tunda lako limemegwa na wakwale!
     
  9. Lukolo

    Lukolo JF-Expert Member

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    Acha kumpanikisha mwenzio bwana! Wakati mwingine hapa JF si pazuri kuomba ushauri, maana unaweza kupotoshwa kabisa. Kwa ushauri kama huu wako Pengo, unamtaka mwenzio avunje ndoa yake? Inawezekana pengine kuna vitu walipishana naye humo ndani, jamaa akaonyesha kuwa yeye ni kichwa kwa hiyo hakuna mwingine wa kuongea, au inawezekana jamaa huwa anarudi usiku na mke ana wasi wasi kwamba jamaa anamega kwingine kwa hiyo anataka amtulize nyumbani.

    Mkuu usimsikilize Pengo, muamini mkeo na tafuta namna ya kuyamaliza na mrekebishane pale ambapo mwenzako aliona panapelea na akataka aparekebishe kwa limbwata.
     
  10. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #10
    Aug 12, 2010
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    Mapenzi hayana dawa....
     
  11. T

    Tall JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 12, 2010
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    1.HAYA MAMBO SI YA KUYAOGOPA SANA.........HUKUWA NA HAJA YA KUTEMBEZA KIKARATASI ILI UKA TAFISIRIWE.
    2. SIO SIRI HUAMINIKI KABISA KWA MKEO.
    3.TATIZO KUBWA KABISA LA USHIRIKINA NI KIFO AU KILEMA.........KAMA WEWE NI MWANAMKE NA UNAENDA KWA MGANGA...NA MGANGA MWENYEWE KWA MFANO AWE MWANAMME,SIKU AKIKUPENDA HAWEZI KUKUPA DAWA YA MAPENZI....BALI KUMMALIZA MMEO,,,,KAMA SI KUMUUA MUMEO BASI KUMFANYA ******* WA KUDUMU ILI AKUCHUKUE WEWE UWE WAKE.
    4.HAKUNA UJINGA NA HATARI KWA MWANAMME AU MWANAMKE KWENDA KUTAFUTA DAWA YA MAPENZI KWA MGANGA TENA MGANGA MWENYEWE AKIWA NI OPPOSITE SEX.
    5.DAWA UNAYO MWENYEWE.BORESHA KAULI YAKO KWA MWENZIO NA AVOID KUMUUDHI...USIMUUDHI KABISA NA MWISHO FANYA VILE ANAVYOTAKA. HIYO NI ZAIDI YA LIMBWATA TENA NI FREE OF CHARGE.
    UMEMUULIZA, KAKANA BASI ENDELEA NA MAISHA...AFTERALL UMESHABUGIA SANA MIDAWA YA MKEO,
    MSAMEHE,MWONYE ASIRUDIE.
    Mwisho kabisa kuna umuhimu wa kukiombea chakula ulichotayarishiwa kwa nguvu zote.PIGA SARA YA UHAKIKA......HADI ASHINDWE KUSEMA AMINA. aaaaah na maji ya kuoga uliyoandaliwa,mmmmh,?? hayo akili kichwani mwako..............NILIKUWEPO.
     
  12. K

    Kituko JF-Expert Member

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    huo ndio mzigo mmoja tu uliuona, nadhani hapo nyuma ulishakula sana limbwana na kunywa maji ya maiti, haya mapenzi ni noma, Mungu kakufunulia hilo, nadhani hilo lilikuwa la kukumaliza, Mzee ungekuwa bone la zuzu
     
  13. T

    Tall JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Ataacha wangapi? anaweza akamwacha huyu pasipokujua akaja kuoa mwenyekiti wa wachawi.Wala usimwache mkuu....endelea nae.
     
  14. C

    ChiefmTz JF-Expert Member

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    Sina uhakika na umri wa Shemejio, lakini usije shangaa ikawa ni kweli kwamba Shemeji yako ndiye mwenye huo mzigo anataka kuwadhibiti wewe na mkeo ili kila atakachosema mumkubalie.
     
  15. AK-47

    AK-47 JF-Expert Member

    #15
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    Pole sana ndugu nimeshindwa hata pa kuanzia nikushauri vipi maana inahitaji hekima mno na mie leo hekima zangu zipo katika mgomo
     
  16. Remmy

    Remmy JF-Expert Member

    #16
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    Pole sana mkubwa.haya ndo ya ulimwengu. sina comment zaidi ya kukupa pole.
     
  17. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    mmh pole.
     
  18. N

    Ngala Senior Member

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    nikupe pole kisha niwakumbushe kuwa ajapomwacha huyu ajaye anajua atakuwa wa aina gani? pengine atakuwa zaidi ya huyu na akaongeza ufanisi na umakini zaidi hivyo kusudio likakamilika? limbwata usijeliona ni balaa kubwa mno.waweza kuwa zezeta ghafla mno kila atakalo unamtimizia bila mjadala.aweza kukwambia lala mii natoka mzee utajikunja ye anakwenda na mambo yake.kimsingi nyumba za hivyo sii za kupigiwa mfano. na mara nyingi maendeleo ni ziro.zungumza nae kwa upendo mweleweshe madhara ya hayo ayatafutayo
     
  19. KAPERO

    KAPERO Member

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    Aug 13, 2010
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    Pole sana. usihofu juu tunguri. wala huna haja ya kumwogopa mwenzio. kwa vile umesha gundua kuwa yeye anakutafutia dawa umpende! hapo ni dhahiri kuwa ameona mapungufu kwako.
    la kufanya sasa jitahidi kumweka karibu sana mkeo na umwambie awe huru kukueleza yale yote angependa umtendee. kama yanatekelezeka mkubalie.
    tena usisahau kumwelimisha juu ya matapeli wa kiganga! jamani watakumalizieni hela zenu na mwisho wa yote watamharibia ndoa yake. awe makini sana na mashoga na hata kama ni dada yake,, huenda wamekwisha ona mnaishi vizuri sana sasa donge limewashika.

    mkuu jitahidi sana huyo anae taka umpende ujue kwako kafika.

    wahenga husema!!! Heri akupendaye, kuliko unae mpenda!

    nakutakieni heri na baraka. Mungu akujalie hekima na busara tena akujaze roho ya upendo.
     
  20. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Aug 13, 2010
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    mnunulie cd ya kekundu ya AIC makongoro kwaya, asikilize wimbo wa Kekundu
     
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