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Nimeikubali hii...sina cha kuongeza...wewe je???

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Dark City, Dec 15, 2011.

  1. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 15, 2011
    Joined: Oct 18, 2008
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    [TABLE="class: yiv58725715MsoNormalTable"]
    [TR]
    [TD]Je umejipangaaje? Hapo mwanzo Mungu aliumba ulimwengu na wanyama wake. Kila mnyama alipewa
    miaka ya kuishi 30. Kati ya wanyama walioumbwa walikuwa Punda, Mbwa na
    binadamu. Mungu akawauliza wanyama hao Je! unadhani miaka hiyo thelathini
    inakutosha? Kila mmoja akajibu hivi:

    Punda: Mimi nikae nikitumikishwa miaka 30, niwe kihongo miaka yote hiyo?
    Loh! kazi hiyo ni kubwa sana . Mimi nipunguzie iwe miaka 10 tu inanitosha
    bwana.

    Mungu: Sawa wewe utaishi miaka kumi tu.

    Mbwa: Mimi nikae nikilala nje miaka thelathini! Kula majalalani, kubweka
    usiku kucha. Naomba unipunguzie niishi miaka kumi tu inanitosha.
    Nitajitahidi kwa kipindi hicho kulala nje, kubweka na kulinda usiku kucha.
    Watanitumia wapendavyo kunusa madawa ya kulevya, kukamata wanyama nk.

    Mungu: Sawa, umri wako utakuwa miaka kumi.

    Binadamu: Ha! Miaka 30 tu, nita enjoy nini mimi? Niongezee bwana.

    Mungu: Sawa, niliyoipunguza kwa punda na mbwa utaongezewa wewe. Nawe
    utaishi miaka sabini (30 + 20 + 20 = 70). Kipindi chako cha miaka 30
    utaishi maisha yafaayo binadamu, miaka ishirini inayoongezeka utakuwa na
    maisha ya punda, na miaka ishirini inayoongezeka utakuwa na maisha kama ya
    mbwa.

    Binadamu: Ahsante sana bwana na iwe kama ulivyosema.
    Miaka 0 – 30+: Maisha mazuri sana (hayo ndiyo maisha ya binadamu). Maisha
    ya kutafuta marafiki, maisha ya kulishwa, maisha ya kuwaandikia barua girl
    friends na boy friends, kutafuta pen pal. Maisha ya kuangalia mtindo mzuri
    wa nguo, nywele, kutembea kwa mikogo, kutuma message kila dakika,
    kupigiana simu kila saa, ugomvi usio na kichwa wala miguu, kujifunza
    kuvuta bangi, kunywa pombe, kuhudhuria madisco n.k.

    Miaka 35 – 50: (Maisha ya punda). Wengi wanajitegemea wameoa au kuolewa.
    Maisha magumu, unapanga chumba lakini mhh kodi sasa watoto watano na mke
    chumba kimoja, kibarua wa kubeba zege, kimbiza shilingi, huna muda wa
    kwenda disco tena au kuangalia mitindo mipya, hakuna kulala hapa. Watoto
    wanasumbua shule, wanaumwa, kadi nyingi za harusi, madeni hadi unawakimbia
    marafiki zako. Hii itaendelea hadi upite umri wa miaka hamsini.

    50+ tuseme 60: Mstaafu. Unakaa nyumbani, unalinda boma (maisha ya mbwa),
    nyumba imebomoka huna pesa ya kurepair, nyumba inavuja, watoto wote
    wameondoka wanahangaikia maisha yao na wake/waume zao. Huna jinsi wewe ni
    kama mlinzi wa eneo ulilochagua.

    Je! Katika maisha haya upo kundi gani? Jiandae hatua unayoendea ni ngumu
    zaidi. Jipange, wakati ni huu.


    JIPANGE SAWASAWA!!


    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]





    Source: Mitandao

     
  2. Jakubumba

    Jakubumba JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Napita tu topic ngumu kwangu ngoja niwasubili wachuzi wakuje!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  3. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Wewe uko stage gani??

    Kwetu sie tulio kwenye vipindi vya punda au mbwa tumeguswa kweli kweli!!
     
  4. Baba V

    Baba V JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Mi stage zote hizo nimemeliza sijui inafuata ipi hapo
     
  5. Jakubumba

    Jakubumba JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 15, 2011
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    mimi niko hio stage ya mwisho kabisa "jipange sawa sawa" hizo zingine nilisha pita, ila duu mshikaji sijui umefikilia nini hapo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! umegusa life zima mkuu!
     
  6. happiness win

    happiness win JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Du! Hairuhusiwi kurudisha mkanda nyuma???? Maana hivi karibuni nitakuwa punda!
     
  7. W

    Wababa Senior Member

    #7
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Hahahahahahahah
     
  8. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Pole sana Happinnes,

    Ndio maana wahenga walisema kuwa ujana ni maji ya moto!!

    Babu DC!!
     
  9. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 15, 2011
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    ndo stage za maisha,dah sasa hivi natamani ningekuwa na ufahamu kama wa sasa halafu nirudishwe mdogo miaka kama 20
     
  10. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Kuimbiwa pambio,.....LoL:eyebrows:!!!
     
  11. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 15, 2011
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    stage ya nyoka,utakuwa unatambaa
     
  12. Dark City

    Dark City JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Hiyo haiwezekani ila unaweza kuitumia vizuri hiyo stage uliyopo ili upate maximum returns!!
     
  13. harakat

    harakat JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Stage ya simba ipo kwani?
     
  14. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Napita tu.
     
  15. Memo

    Memo JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 15, 2011
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    kwani ile miaka mitano ya mbwa imeenda wapi??
    Mi naitaka ile.......au mungu hajui hisabati?
     
  16. k

    kifuniboy Senior Member

    #16
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    we nyambafu hili ni jukwaa la utani,na sisi sote hatutaniani na MUUMBA wetu

    kasafishe masaburi yako na uombe msamaha.,
     
  17. Mbimbinho

    Mbimbinho JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    Mmh, mi mbona nilianza na hiyo ya punda kabla hata ya kuanza darasa la kwanza, vipi ndio kusema kuwa inayofuata tena itakuwa hii hii?
     
  18. Rosweeter

    Rosweeter JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Sali sala yako ya mwisho
     
  19. Leonard Robert

    Leonard Robert JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Dec 15, 2011
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    maisha ya mbwa wachache tutafika,ila yapunda tutayakoma.
     
  20. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #20
    Dec 15, 2011
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    Mchezo woote upo 30 ya mwanzo... Ukichemka hapo lazima ugangamale ile mitano ijayo.... Ukichemka hapo.... IMO ndo unakua umechemka mazima thou sio lazima.... Kuna watu wamewahi toka kimaisha late 30s au early na late 40s....
     
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