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Nimechanganyikiwa, sikujua kama mwisho utakuwa hivi

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Ndeonasiae, Sep 29, 2011.

  1. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #1
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Sijui nianzie wapi?? naandika kwa masikitiko makubwa, miaka 7 iliyopita niliolewa na mwenzangu ambaye nilimpenda baada ya urafiki wa miaka kama 5 japo baadhi ya ndugu zangu hawakupenda niolewe nae coz hana kazi na wala hakusoma aliishia std7 na mimi ni graduate, hakuwa mtu wa kujishughulisha na biashara wala kuajiriwa bali mishen town tu, ila mimi nilimsaidia kamtaji sababu nilimpenda sikusikia wala kuona.
    Mwenzangu huyu kiukweli kuna watu walikuwa wanasema hajatulia ila binafsi kwa upofu wa mapenzi sikulijali hili, lakini tatizo la shughuli kutokuwa na shughuli maalumu nililiona lakini mwenzangu alisisitiza kuwa hawezi kusoma labda biashara japo hakuonyesha juhudi niliamini angebadilika maisha yakaendelea. mie ni muajiriwa nakipato cha kuweza kuitimizia familia hata peke yangu. Niliingia kwenye ndoa nikiamini akiwa mume na baba angebadilika

    Tumeingia kwenye ndoa ndio naanza kuona matatizo mengi hap tuna watoto wawili, si muaminifu kwa pesa za watu wala zangu akiazima basi inabidi nilipe kufunika aibu, ni muongo mara nyingi ni uongo usio na sababu sijui ninini?? yote tisa kumi kesi za wanawake ni kibao na ameshaattempt kuoa mara mbili yeye nikazikamata kwenye mtandao, anakaogonjwa na wanawake wazuri na weupe (hata mimi ni mweupe na mzuri lol) so kila nikimkamata ni ugomvi tu na mwisho anaomba mara msamaha lakini anarudia tena. Biashara nilimuanzishia japo biashara yenyewe alikuja kushindwa akafanya eneo la biashara ndio kituo cha kukutana na wanawake wake mpaka nikawa naogopa kupita hiyo mitaa.

    Mbali na yote haya jamaa ni abuser, physically, verbally, and emotionally,, huwa napigwa mie nikijaribu kuargue kuhusu tabia yake au mambo ya ndani, pia ananihisi hisi na anapenda kunicontrol kama mtoto. kuna events nyingi sana nikiandika nitawachosha

    Sasa wandugu imefikia kipindi mimi mapenzi yameisha na tunawatoto 2, tumejenga (90% ni mchango wangu), gari (90% mchango wangu) na kulisha familia 90% ni mimi, mapenzi yameisha kabisa sio mchezo sidhani kama yatarudi na ninataka kuachana naye, ndoa tulifunga kanisani, nimejaribu kumwambia nataka tutengane kwa muda analia anaomba nafasi ya mwisho anadia ananipenda na anawapenda watoto wake hawezi kuishi mbali nao ila mimi nahisi anaogopa ukali wa maisha na sio mapenzi kwangu, japo wanae kweli anawapenda sana. Natamani nisiondoke lakini ninavyomjua huwa anaomba msamaha zikipita wiki mbili mwezi vituko vinarudi pale pale so naogopa na umri unakimbia natakiwa niwe na misimamo mapema kwani naona hata kwa malezi ya watoto si vizuri kuwa na baba mwenye sifa ya uongo na utapeli mtaani au watu wanakuja hapo kudai watoto wataadapt hizo tabia. naomba nikiri udhaifu wangu katika kupenda naomba msinirushie sana mawe kwa hilo kwa nimeshajua wapi niliteleza.

    Naombeni ushauri utakaonisaidia mimi na watoto wangu, based on your experiences maana naogopa hata kuwaambia ndugu zangu kwani watanichua haraka, wameshajitolea hadi nyumba ya mimi kuishi na wanangu, na vikao vimeshakaliwa vingi na kila siku wananiambia niachane nae lakini mimi nilikuwa kichwa hakijakaa vizuri bado, yani siamini kama nitaishi hivi maisha yangu bila mume coz sipendi wala sifurahishwi na maisha ya kuwa single parent at my age of 32, na hili ndio linanifanya nifikirie sana kuhusu maamuzi yangu.
     
  2. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #2
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Dah! Kesi ngumu.....
     
  3. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 29, 2011
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    pole sana mpendwa,ngoja waje watu na experience zao hapa utapata ushauri wenye kukufaa
     
  4. s

    shosti JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 29, 2011
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    mhh maisha haya...pole mpendwa ila kijua ndo hiki dada,usipouanika huo utautwanga mbichi...na mwanaume asokuthamini ujanani... hatakuthamini uzeeni!
     
  5. Bronty

    Bronty Member

    #5
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Pole sana ndeonasi, hayo ni maisha yatapita tu, madam ni mumeo na mmefunga ndoa kanisani hukulazimishwa na mtu huna budi kuvumilia, usione wamama wamekaa kwenye ndoa zao ukaona wanafanya kazi ndogo, wanapitia mapito makubwa zaidi ya hayo,usichoke kumkumbusha mlipotoka nina imani bado mapema anaweza badilika,kama ukiona huwezi kabisa nenda kwa mchungaji aliyewafungisha ndoa mweleze akupe ushauri
     
  6. h

    hayaka JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 29, 2011
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    me sikushauri uachane naye since mna watoto na wanamhitaji baba yao. bali unahitaji umwonyeshe kwamba u can survive bila yeye. yaani anza kumfungia pazia. ignore kila anachofanya, ishi hapo ndani kama vile yeye hayupo but at the same time mpe respect. usihoji kuingia wala kutoka kwake. piga pamba kali, kula vizuri always tabasamu. akileta biashara za kujaribu kukupiga mpeleke kwenye vyombo vya dola.
     
  7. M

    MyTz JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 29, 2011
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    come on Katavi...
    say something...
     
  8. BiMkubwa

    BiMkubwa JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Nimeolewa miaka 16 sasa ila issue yako ngumu. Siwezi kukushauri uachane naye maana sikujui na wala sijui mlipoanzia wala uwezo wako.
    Sipendi kurupuka ktk kutoa ushauri pia. Ila uelewe palipo na tatizo suluhisho lipo, binafsi sidhani kama ni baba anayefaa hata kidogo. Inabidi ajirekebishe
     
  9. b

    backer Member

    #9
    Sep 29, 2011
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    duh,....! Pole sana, a very hard case to judge.humu ndo jamvin natumain utapata ushauri ulio bora kabisa ila tulia sana kwenye maamuzi.
     
  10. M

    MyTz JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 29, 2011
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    pole mdada...
    break up inakuhusu...
    bora single parent, kuliko kumvumilia m2 ambaye mwisho wa siku atakuletea maradhi...
    kuna vya kuvumilia, sio hili la uzinzi...mtauana kwa magonjwa muache watoto wanateseka, mpige chini fasta uendelee na maisha yako...
     
  11. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #11
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Asanteni kwa michango yenu, tatizo kubwa mapenzi yameisha kabisa na ikumbukwe mapenzi ndio pekee yaliyotuunganisha, mimi simfuatilii tena na hata yeye anajua mapenzi yameisha,, na nataka kuondoka kweli ndani kabisa ya moyo wangu natamani kuondoka ila nikiwaangalia watoto roho inasita! sio yeye ninayemuhurumia bali ni watoto yani simtamani hata kumuona natamani aondoke asafiri aende mbali huko.
     
  12. M

    Mamaa Kigogo Senior Member

    #12
    Sep 29, 2011
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    pole sana dada kwa uvumilivu wa kipindi kirefu huwa siku zote dalili ya mvua ni mawingu but huwa wanawake tunapenda sana kujipa mahope ya uwongo ooh mume wangu atabadilika , hata kabla msichana hajaolewa na anajua huyo mwanaume wake ni kimeo eti anakwambia atabadilika kakudanganya nani samaki hukunjwa angali mbichi wanaume wengi ni ngumu sana kubadilika huwa wanaprittend tu .nisiuze sana chai kazi ni moja una kazi nzuri huyo ndo mume wako wa kwanza (swtheart NO 1)sasa achana naye ameshakutia mikosi huyo lea watoto wako kaa karibu na familia yako coz ndo watu wanaojua thamani yako ndio maana hata wanakuonea huruma NA WANATAKA UTOKE HUKO na degree yako yote unambwelabwela tu tena WACHA USHAMBA TUPA KULE utaenjoy kishenzi no stress watoto ndo faraja yako thus all ,however 32 bado mrembo kabisa hachana na hilo kurundungu lililobebwa likashidwa kushikilia hata mabega. shwaaaaaani zakee
     
  13. JS

    JS JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Ndeo, mimi sina uzoefu na masuala ya ndoa lakini angalau nimeshawahi kushi na watu walioko kwenye ndoa kwa maana ya ndugu jamaa na marafiki. na nilivyojifunza ni kuwa mawasiliano baina yao husuluhisha mgogoro ulioko. sasa kwa case yako inaonekana hata huyo mume hana muda wa kukaa chini na wewe mkasuluhisha matatizo yaliyopo na hii yote ni kwa sababu he is the main actor in the game na wewe ndo victim. nenda kanisani mlikofungia ndoa kwa padre/mchungaji aliyewafungisha mpate ushauri nasaha. kama ni msikitini, nenda kwa sheikh umueleze kilakitu naamini viongozi wa hawa dini watakusaidia. i always beleive kuna kitu kinaweza kufanyika kusave the situation kuliko kubreak up kwani watakaosuffer ni watoto. try all the means and i know you both will walk out of it. vikishindikana basi kuachana ndo iwe ya mwisho kabisa kwenye line ya solutions on the table. goodluck darling......
     
  14. Beautiful Lady

    Beautiful Lady Senior Member

    #14
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Pole sana. katika maisha ya ndoa usitegemee raha tu, kuna shida pia.Jaribu kuwashirikisha viongozi wenu wa kanisani mlikofungia ndoa wanaweza kuwasaidia.pia jifunze kumuombea mumeo.
     
  15. tete'a'tete

    tete'a'tete JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Sep 29, 2011
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    Pole sana naomba nikuweke kwenye maombi ya hatari na mungu atakuongoza tuuu...si kitu kirahisi kama watu wanavyodhani ila nakushauri sali sana..muombee mumeo yawezekana kuna mambo ya giza yamewazingira...by the way hapa duniani si watu wote watafurahi mlivyo na mme wenu na katika upendo mliokuwa mnao hapa mwanzo...sali sana haya ni mapito tuu...kuachana si solution watoto wataadhirika kisaikologia zaidi...pole sana.. wamama tunakutana na mengi kwenye hizi ndoa...
     
  16. M

    Mamaa Kigogo Senior Member

    #16
    Sep 29, 2011
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    tafuta ujanja peleka watoto boarding kwanza then uanzishe mtiti haukufai kabisaa atakuletea magojwa mpe blak and white kwamba umejua sio mwanaume ni mwanaume suruhali tu .
     
  17. M

    Mamaa Kigogo Senior Member

    #17
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    kumuombea sawa but maandiko yanasema jisaidieni nami nitawasaidia
     
  18. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 29, 2011
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    My Dia sina uzoefu wa ndoa ila nimeishi na wazazi wangu wenye ndoa huo upupu achana nao,ww bado age yako iko poa, kazi unayo,elimu unayo, na watoto mungu kakupa,huyo hana shukurani kbs mpaka anakupiga sepa mapema ipo siku atakushikia panga au kukuletea ukimwi ufe uache wanao wanapata shida na hilo dude, utaishi vp na mtu usiempenda!
     
  19. Blaki Womani

    Blaki Womani JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Sep 29, 2011
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    pole sana Ndeo..........urafiki wa miaka 5 na ndoa ya 7yrs bado hajaweza kubadilika daahh........sipendi kusema kuachana lakini yanapozidi maamuzi magumu yanafanyika........pia kabla ya kuachana washirikishe wadhamini wa ndoa
     
  20. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Sep 29, 2011
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    jibu unalo. Kama hzo tabia kweli anazo na unawapenda wanao fanya maamuzi magumu uondoke.
    Au mpaka akuletee maradhi? Afterall wewe ndo baba na ndo mama wa hyo familia.
    Jithamini. Huyo mumeo anapenda fedha zako tu hakuna lolote.
     
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