Nimeamua kuolewa......

[MadameX]

Ndio nimeamua kuolewa at last……but at my own conditions. Kwa kweli nimechoshwa na masharobaro wa hapa mjini, yaani uwizi mtupu, usanii and too many heart breaks, I have to come to conclusion love is not meant for me.

Niko katika mchakato lakini nataka hii ndoa iwe purely of benefits more or less marriage of convenience. Sitaki kuolewa kwa love cause it doesn't and never worked with me, sitaki kuwa nyumba ndogo, sitaki kuzaa na mume wa mtu, sitaki kuzaa nje ya ndoa, sitaki kulea mume, sitaki kuruka ruka kila siku.

Ninachotaka ni kukidhi matamanio ya mwili, kuendeleza kizazi (tukijaliwa), awe responsible dad to his kids kwasababu sitaki niwe single parent at same wakose mapenzi ya baba yao. Tutasaidiana maisha half half hasa yanayohusu watoto wetu. LOL

Now the challenging part, nataka mawazo yenu, nini nifanye ili hii marriage ionekana attractive kwa mume mtarajiwa. Naomba brainstorming zenu kabla sijaweka bandiko. Maana its like contract and going to be renewable see if we fit, au precaution gani nichukue......

Mtambuzi , Kongosho , Kaunga , The Boss , ndyoko , Preta , Eiyer , King'asti , na Nyani Ngabu na wengineo wote naombeni busara zenu.

 

[Roulette]

Naona umeamua kweli... hadi umetoa ile avatar?

 

[harakat]

hasara za kuzaa nje uya ndoa kijana alipata mchumba alipomuonyesha baba yake ,baba akamwambia
asimuoe ni ndugu yake ila mamaya ke hajui wa pili hivyohivyo wa tatu hivyo hovyo basi kijana akaamua
kumwambia mamayake mamayake akamwambia amuoe tu yule sio dada yake kwani huyo nae sio baba
yake ila asimwambie kwani hajui pia

 

[Simolunda]

Hongeraah!

 

[Preta]

nitarudi.....hii ngumu kidogo.....

 

[Kaunga]

Open marriage hiyo, cheating inaruhusiwa au?

 

[mzabzab]

thats fantastic!! mie nakutumia maombi maana ata mie nataka waku take care of my physical needs na mwanamke wakulea watoto angalau wawili....ila na swali moja. does it mean katika hii relationship tunakuwa free kuonja utamu sehemu nyingine?

 

[MadameX]

Open marriage hiyo, cheating inaruhusiwa au?

Open marriage, duuuh hiyo kitu pia siitaki ndio maana nikaweka mkataba. lol

 

[MadameX]

thats fantastic!! mie nakutumia maombi maana ata mie nataka waku take care of my physical needs na mwanamke wakulea watoto angalau wawili....ila na swali moja. does it mean katika hii relationship tunakuwa free kuonja utamu sehemu nyingine?

Wewe ukionja nje itabidi mimi pia nifanye hivyo, ndio maana nikaweka mkataba renewable

 

[Viol]

Sasa kama we unaolewa ili kukidhi matamanio yako na siyo kumpenda huyo mtu si atakuwa anahisi hapendwi halafu mwishoni yakawa yale yale

 

[MadameX]

hasara za kuzaa nje uya ndoa kijana alipata mchumba alipomuonyesha baba yake ,baba akamwambia
asimuoe ni ndugu yake ila mamaya ke hajui wa pili hivyohivyo wa tatu hivyo hovyo basi kijana akaamua
kumwambia mamayake mamayake akamwambia amuoe tu yule sio dada yake kwani huyo nae sio baba
yake ila asimwambie kwani hajui pia

and your point is....?

 

[MadameX]

Nakusubiri, Preta

 

[MadameX]

Sasa kama we unaolewa ili kukidhi matamanio yako na siyo kumpenda huyo mtu si atakuwa anahisi hapendwi halafu mwishoni yakawa yale yale

Ndio maana nataka vidume vya JF wanipe ideas how to make it better or do it rightly...

 

[Kaunga]

Open marriage, duuuh hiyo kitu pia siitaki ndio maana nikaweka mkataba. lol

Kama hakuna love inayohusika hapo kwanini si open marriage?

 

[mzabzab]

Wewe ukionja nje itabidi mimi pia nifanye hivyo, ndio maana nikaweka mkataba renewable

ah sasa wewe unasema love is not ur thing na sole purpose ya kupata kidume ni ili usatisfy ur sexual needs na kupata mtoto. so mie sio kutakuwa na tatizo kama mie nitakuwa responsible father na bado nakupata utamu kamilifu even tho nionja pengine....lol

 

[mito]

Ndio nimeamua kuolewa at last……but at my own conditions.
nini nifanye ili hii marriage ionekana attractive kwa mume mtarajiwa.

Kila la kheri MadameX. Binafsi nachukulia kama ni dada yangu ndo ameniuliza swali hili, na sasa namjibu kama ifuatavyo:

1) Mwanaume ye yote (wakiwemo wazungu ambao wengi tunapenda kuiga mambo ya kimapenzi etc) anapenda kuheshimiwa. Mara nyingi hili linajitokeza wazi ktk mazungumzo yenu ya kawaida. So you have got to be conscious how you respond to his arguments whether constructive or bogus. Hapa ni shida kubwa maana wanawake wengi wasomi hawawezagi kumvumilia mwanaume anayeongea pumba, hivyo wanaamua kubishana naye. Matokeo yake mwanaume anaanza kujisikia inferior. Hali hii itamuathiri kisaikolojia, matokeo yake hata urijali wake utapungua. Siku zote mumeo anapoongea pumba kuna namna nzuri ya ku-respond (akina dada watakushauri vizuri zaidi ktk hili). Nayasema haya kwavile naamini umesoma so it's likely to happen in your relationship. So in genaral uwe tayari kumheshimu whether unamzidi shule, kipato etc. Na hii heshima unaijenga wewe

2) Umpe chakula ashibe! I mean chakula cha kimwili (kizuri ulichopika wewe) na chakula cha usiku bila masharti - tatizo la wasomi mnapenda kuweka ratiba wakati mumeo ni first class, yaani ana nguvu za kiume mpaka basi...

Mengine nitaongeza baadaye. Ila be careful na hiyo statement yako hapo kwa red, maana unawezakuta hizo conditions zako hazi-match na zake. Ikitokea hivyo ujue hamtaelewana.

 

[platozoom]

Mi naogopa mwanamke anayeweka condition nyingi, itifaki kibao, process ndeefu na vigezo chungu nzima............Ngoja nirudi kijijini nikakabidhiwe mke........hawa wa dot.com siwawezi

 

[King’asti]

Ili nishiriki vyema, naomba umtoe Nyani Ngabu kwanza kwenye list ya washauri nasaha, yeye kwenye ndoa nahisi hafai, bora ungemuweka kwenye business kulee.

 

[KIKUNGU]

I wish ningekuwa nimezaliwa karne iliyopita labda haya nisingeona na kuyasikia,labda pengine pia siku za mwisho ndio hizi,ngoja nikeshe na kuomba maana sijui siku wala saa mwana wa adamu atakapo kuja

 

[Ukwaju]

MadamX hujatuambia michango tuanze lini? sisi ambao hatukuombwa busara zetu
Ni Mwanamme kabila Gani? (Mhaya au Mpemba?)
Kwa ana kazi gani ya kipato? (Mbunge, Mwanamziki au Mnyanyua vyuma?
atakuwa ameoa au bado (anao wake wangapi kutokana na Dini yenu au yake)
Kuchangia sherehe (ni kwa shilingi au tuhudhurie)
Hongera Bint wa Jamii Forum