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Nilichapwa sana ndio nikabadilika tabia..

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Billie, Mar 31, 2012.

  1. Billie

    Billie JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Nakumbuka nilipokuwa mdogo levo za primary hadi form one.Nilikuwa mtundu sana hadi kupelekea kuwa nachapwa mara kwa mara na mama ili nibadilike.Namshukuru MUNGU nilibadilika baada ya kuchapwa mfururizo ndani wiki nzima hapo ndipo nikawa mtoto mzuri kwa kweli nazishukuru bakora kwa vile zilinibadilisha tabia.Tukirudi maisha ya leo fimbo zimekuwa zikizuiliwa kuanzia mashuleni hadi nyumbani na ustaarabu mbadala ni kujadiliana na mtoto kueleza anayotakiwa kufanya na sio kumchapa pia nikicheck movie nyingi za ulaya na marekan nimegundua fimbo haitumiki kabisa.Nina ka son kangu kana mwaka mmoja nashindwa kuamua nitumie mtaala wa bakora au majadiliano kwenye ukuaji wake ili baadaye nipate mtoto mwenye maadili mazuri? WAZAZI TUSAIDIANE KULIJADILI HILI hapa MMU.
     
  2. Losambo

    Losambo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Sasa hii imeingiaje huku tena? Mimi nilifikifiri kuchwapwa gani sijui!!!!!! Jukwaa la hoja mchanganyiko nadhani ndiyo mujalabi kwa hoja yako.

    Hata hivyo wiki nzima unachapwa tu mdingi wako alitaka kukuua nini?

    Usimchape mwanao mpaka inapobidi na ukimchapa angalia usimuumize sana. Usichape kama unachapa ng'ombe.
     
  3. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Kuchapa sana wala hakusaidii kwakweli. . .utaishia kumfanya mtoto sugu tu na wakati mwingine utaishia kumuonea kwasababu umeshazoea kuchapa.

    Na hivi ndio anaelekea kipindi cha utundu. . .mbona utampiga mpaka akome maana kila kitu atashika, vinavyoharibika ataharibu, vyakupasuka vitapasuka na vitu kibao vya electronics vitaogeshwa. Unachoweza ni kujitahidi kuwa na lugha ya vitendo nae maana maneno bado sana kuyaelewa. Kama unamwambia acha kitu unamwambia kwa ukali, anatakiwa aelewe tofauti ya "come here baby" na "acha/don't touch that/don't go there" kupitia namna unavyoisema na kuonyesha vitendo. Pili mtoe ujinga. Ili ajue kwamba simu haitumbukizwi kwenye maji let him play with it sometimes. . .inasaidia sana kulinda kitu ambacho mtoto anajua(japo kitoto) matumizi yake. Na ikitokea amekukasirisha sana tena sana jitahidi kuzuia hasira zako maana waeza ishi kumuumiza uje kujutia baadae.

    So, learn to control yourself (sio muda wote una hasira mpaka mtoto anashindwa kutofautisha nyakati. . kua na furaha, ongea taratibu mpaka pale inapobidi kubadilika kwa muda mfupi. Wengine hata jicho ukimkata kama alikua analia uzushi anaacha kabisa bila ya kumsemesha. Ohhhh na kitu kingine, kama kakosea mara ya kwanza ukamkanya na akarudia jiweke mbali nae. Mtoto anaejua kudeka/kuwa karibu na mama/baba yake akipewa distance na kutochekewa anaelewa kwamba kakosea au kwa wakati ule mzazi wake hapendezwi nae.

    Kila la kheri.
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Mambo ya malezi kwanini yapelekwe kwenye habari mchanganyiko wakati ni sehemu ya mahusiano?
     
  5. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Fimbo:hand::nono::nono:child abuse:nono::nono:

    Kweli tulichapwa but what if alternative approach would have been used, we would be even better today without war. I think its got to do with environment, ukiianza kuzoesha hako katoto kuzungumza nacho in friendly way at the same time unamwonya I don't think its gonna harm. Kuna watoto wengine hawana capability ya kudigest hizo fimbo and it will only leave them insecure and lack of confidence or make him turn violent.

    I am saying this coz we are so much different from this new generation, the exposure is too much and they can easily break.
     
  6. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Kumlea mtoto bila fimbo inawezekana kabisa! Zipo njia mbadala za kumuonya mtoto bila kumchapa na akakua katika maadili mema..
    Kwa njia ya maongezi ya kawaida unaweza kumuelewesha mtoto kipi kizuri na kipi kibaya! Na endapo atafanya kibaya ulichomkataza unaweza kureact kwa ukali bila fimbo na mtoto akaelewa vizuri tu..
    Pia ukimlea mtoto katika misingi ya dini atakua na hofu ya Mungu ndan yake that means ataishi maisha ya kutenda mema ili asimchukize Mungu..
    Fimbo/kumchapa mtoto wa generation hii ni kumnyanyasa mtoto..
     
  7. K

    Kituko JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 31, 2012
    Joined: Jan 12, 2009
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    Kwa Mimi Fimbo/Kiboko kinafaa kutokana na Mazingira husika

    Kwa mtu mwenye level Nzuri ya maisha ambayo inampa mtoto fursa ya kusoma shule nzuri (wanakutana watoto wa daraja moja) na hata nyumbani kuna kila kitu kizuri kinachomu update mtoto, hapo control ya mtoto huwa ni raisi na hata uelewa wake unapo mkanya anakuelewa bila fimbo

    Tatizo linakuja huku uswahili, Mara kibaokata/mara mtu kasutwa, mara kafumaniwa nk, mazingira hayo kulea mtoto nishida sanasana na ukichangia na shule anayoenda kusoma anakutana na watoto wenzie wa ushwahili,
    Mtoto anaweza kuja na kituko ambacho hata hamuwezi kukiangalia, lakini ukimwambia hiyo si sawa anakwambia mbona fulani kafanya hivi na mamake kacheka tu, kama hukuweka kiboko hapo ndio imetoka hiyo

    mabanda ya Video yapo kila kona na hawachagui cha kuweka, unakuta mtoto mdogo kabisa lakini yupo kwenye picha ya ngono inayooneshwa kwenye hicho kibanda, ukimkataza kwa maneno naye ana argue, mbona fulani anaaangaliaga, Hapo bila kiboko kesho yupo tena

    Kwa tuliokulia Uswazi, Kiboko ni njia sahihi kabisa, huwezi kumshauri ama kumkanya mtoto wa uswahilini kwa maneno tu,


    SIJUHI KAMA NIMEELEWEKA NINAPOSEMA USWAHILI
     
  8. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 31, 2012
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    mtoto wa kiswahili, asubuhi anapiga chai ya rangi na mihogo ya kuchemsha akose fimbo??? Unataka kunichekesha.

    Labda wale wa mboga saba kujisevia maana hata mazingira yao ya ukuaji sio changanyikeni.

    Kwa mtogole bila fimbo haiwezekani!!!!!
     
  9. S

    SI unit JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 31, 2012
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    .
    "Miafrika ndio tulivyo". Genetic make up ya Afros sio sawa na watu weupe kwa hiyo tusilinganishe life styl yetu na wazungu hata siku moja. "fimbo ni muhimu kulingana na mazingira na aina ya kosa". Ingewezekana hata political leaders wetu wakacharazwa bakora right now, naamini mambo yangeenda sawa! Angalia mwanao asiwe na akili mgando kama "maziwa ya mgando".
     
  10. O

    One Man Army JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 31, 2012
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    wrong way.....
     
  11. Nyalotsi

    Nyalotsi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 31, 2012
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    watu wanapenda kujilinganisha sana na wazungu wakati wao ni weusi kuliko mkaa.! Katika mazingira yetu ya watoto kukua mchanganyiko mtaani unadhani maneno matupu atayaelewa? Nakumbuka nilipokuwa mdogo nilikuwa mdokozi sana wa hela na hiyo nilifundishwa na mwenzangu ambaye kwao alikuwa akiiba hachapwi. Maza alikuwa ananichezesha stick na kunifinya mapajani kwa vijiko mpaka niliacha. Pia darasa la kwanza na la pili nikikuwa natoroka shule na kwenda kuwinda na watoto wengine ambao wazazi wao hawawafuatilii maendeleo ya shule. Mama alipopata taarifa alikuwa ananikabidhi kwa mtu asubuhi na nikirudi anakagua nilichoandika na niwe nimeelewa. Tofauti na hapo nalambishwa fimbo mpaka nilipobadilika. Kuanzia hapo nikawa vizuri darasani na wale wenzangu wengi waliacha shule. Mpaka leo namshukuru mama yangu kwa kuwa mkali na kuninyoosha. Usimuadhibu mwanao kila wakati na bila kosa, anapokosea mwonye na akirudia mwadhibu. Huu uzungu unatufanya tushindwe kulea familia zetu. Siyo kila anachofanya mzungu kina msaada kwa jamii kuna vingine vinaharibu watoto.
     
  12. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 31, 2012
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    kuchapa ni adhabu ya mwisho kabisa kwa mtoto....
     
  13. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Mtafutie adhabu yoyote ambayo inaendana na umri wake endapo umemkanya hajasikia. Hlf nawakumbusha wenye watoto, msipende tu kutafuta adhabu za kuwapa watoto wanapokosea, jengeni na mazoea ya kuwapongeza wanapofanya vizuri. Kama mtoto huwa anafanya vizuri na unampongeza, siku ambayo hutompongeza kwa vyovyote atajuwa kuwa siku hiyo amechemka.
     
  14. Billie

    Billie JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 31, 2012
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    Lizzy msamehe labda aliamka na hang over za ijumaa anafikili jukwa hili ni la mambo ya kungonoka,vibuti n.k kasahau MMU kirefu chake.
     
  15. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 1, 2012
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    Experience imenifundisha kuwa kulea hakuna formula,kulea sio kama mtambo wa uzalishaji kwamba upande huu unaingiza miwa upande wa pili inatoka sukari tamu.Mara nyingi huwa ninasema humu kuwa binadamu anazaa mwili hazai roho.Binafsi na utu uzima wangu baba na mama yangu(both RIP) in my living memory hawajawahi kunigusa na fimbo na leo maisha yangu nimazuri tu. Wanangu (ni wakubwa sasa) Sijawahi kuwachapa na ninaona wako ok. Ila nilicho observe ni kuwa waliochapwa utotoni nao wana tendency ya kuwalamba mboko watoto wao.
     
  16. Billie

    Billie JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 2, 2012
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    asante kwa mchango wako ila sio kwamba nataka nimchape mwanangu ili niyalipe machungu bali nasikiliza mitazamo ya wana JF ili niwe baba bora si unajua ndo kwanza nina ka first born
     
  17. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 2, 2012
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    Trust your instinct katika kulea.Ikibidi utumie bakora basi iwe kwa kipimo na usiruhusu hasira iku drive kumchapa mtoto,kama ni kumchapa iwe with a good reason.Watoto wana maudhi kweli lakini restrain nimuhimu sana.
     
  18. C

    ChadwickSa Member

    #18
    Apr 2, 2012
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    Kweli tulichapwa but what if alternative approach would have been used
    [​IMG]
     
  19. s

    shizzoudo Member

    #19
    Apr 2, 2012
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    mtoto usimnyime bakora:tape2:
     
  20. mtzedi

    mtzedi JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 2, 2012
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    bakora ni za muhimu kwa mtoto ili umuweke katika mstari ulionyooka. halafu amerika ni tofauti na afrika
     
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