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Nikikumbuka nacheka tena na tena!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Jaguar, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Nakumbuka enzi zile nikiwa bado chalii mdogo tulienda sehemu fulani palipokuwa na ubwabwa wa shughuli. Basi tukajikusanya kama watoto watano hivi, kisha bonge la sinia la ubwabwa likatua.

    Kabla hatujaanza kufanya mashambulizi, mwenzetu mmoja ambaye alikuwa ni baunsa kuliko siye akatupiga biti, akatenga ubwabwa nusu sinia huku akisema, "asiyejipenda atie mkono huku!". Kama haitoshi, mbabe yule kwa jina la Kurwa alichukua achali kisha akaitapakaza kwenye ubwabwa wake wote akidhani ni kachumbari.

    Weee, ile jamaa kupiga finga ya kwanza na kuisunda mdomoni tu, pilipili ilimuwasha mpaka akahisi mdomo unawaka moto. Kurwa akaona isiwe shida akakimbilia bombani kusuuza ulimi wake na hatukumuona tena!
     
  2. Shine

    Shine JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Kila mmoja ana mbabe wake bana
     
  3. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Safari hii nikiwa kwa babu na bibi, Bariadi- Shinyanga. Siku hiyo tulikuwa tumeandaa msosi kwa ajili ya sherehe fulani. Hii ilikuwa asubuhi, muda wa chai, tupo kwenye foleni.

    Nyuma yangu alikuwepo mshikaji mmoja akifuatiwa na mzee fulani anayesifika kwa ulafi. Yule mshikaji alipopewa chai, tena chai ya maziwa, akaanza kulalamika kiutani, "chai yenyewe ya bariiidi kama ya mgonjwa!".

    Yule mzee aliyekuwa akimfuatia kwa karibu alipopewa chai yake huku akiamini kweli ile chai ni ya baridi, aliimimina yote mdomoni fasta ili apate nyingine.

    Masikini kumbe ile chai ilikuwa moto sana, yule mzee alitema chai yote huku akilia kama mtoto mdogo. Lakini kwa taratibu za Kisukuma, mzazi wa yule kijana alipigwa faini ya jogoo kwa kutokumfundisha mwanae adabu.
     
  4. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Yap na mbabe wa kurwa ni pilipili!
     
  5. Donnie Charlie

    Donnie Charlie JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 12, 2011
    Joined: Sep 16, 2009
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    kwa muhindi ingekuwa easy tu hiyo!
     
  6. mgodi

    mgodi JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Jaguar Wangemduna masumule ya mburi.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Mkuu umenikumbusha mbali,tulipokuwa na miaka kama 13 kulikuwa na jamaa anapenda kutuonea mimi na rafiki yangu. Kwa vile yeye ametuzidi umri tukikutana naye anaanza kutuchapa makofi na mateke. Uonevu ulipozidi kila siku mi na rafiki yangu tukapanga njama.

    Siku lingine akatuona, si akaja kama kawaida yake kutuonea, hakujua kwamba kila mtu ameficha fimbo kwenye majani ya ng'ombe. Alipoanza fujo nilichukua fimbo nikamchapa sikioni, na rafiki yangu akamchapa kwenye magoti, jamaa alitoka nduki mpaka leo respet imetawala.
     
  8. libent

    libent JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 12, 2011
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    hiyo ya chai mi nakumbuka tuko kwenye msiba wa shangazi yangu mida kama ya asubuhi uliletwa uji, ule uji ulitanda utando juu hautoi mvuke ulivyoletwa uncle akanywa fasta bila kujali ilibidi auteme kwenye koti alilovaa
     
  9. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 12, 2011
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    Kwa kwa kwaaaah! Na wewe ulivyokosa adabu ulicheka!?
     
  10. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Hii ilikuwa huko maeneo ya kisemvule,mkuranga mkoani pwani.Wazee kama wanne walikuwa katika ubwabwa wa shughuli. Basi mzee mmoja mroho tofauti na wenzie alikuwa akila nyama tu. Mara ghafla yule mzee akaacha kula,akabaki anawaangalia wenzie kwa huzuni huku machozi yakimtiririka.

    Mzee mmoja alijua kilichomtokea mzee mwenzao, akampa bonge la mbata ya mgongo, nyama ilifyatuka kama risasi kutoka mdomoni mwa yule mzee. Duh!kumbe yule mzee alikwama na kipande cha nyama kooni.
     
  11. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Jaguar Ee bhana umenipa full memory, 2008 nikuwa Mwandege, Mkuranga, Kisemvula, dah! Wanapenda kuuza supu ya ng'ombe dah, nimemiss hayo maeneo.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  12. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Kulikwepo jamaa mmoja amejazia mwili mtaani kwetu,watu wanamwogopa ile mbaya. Ni mkorofi balaa, akilewa lazima usali usikutane naye, halafu anapenda mademu na mwonekano wake kama handsome flani hivi.

    Siku moja akiwa amelewa si akaanza kuzingua raia, akamkamata dogo moja, yaani haikujulikana dogo alimg'ataje jamaa pua na kuitema. Jamaa kuanzia hapo akaacha fujo hala na nusu kipua chake.
     
  13. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Sasa jaguar, huo ubwabwa nusu sinia wenye pilipili mliufanyaje? Ama ilibidi msamehe?
     
  14. Kingdom_man

    Kingdom_man JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Jaguar Ebana hii ni true story ama umeitengeneza tu?!!, mana nimecheka kufa mtu. Duh kiboko aise:Cry:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  15. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Wala si urongo mkuu,i respect you guys.
     
  16. The Hunter

    The Hunter JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Umenikumbusha bana, nilihudhuria harusi ya mtoto wa Kamanda Mwema pale njoro, sasa wakati wa maakuli nikashuhudia kituko ambacho sijawahi ona tena, kuna wazee wawili hivi bana hawa jamaa wanakula askwambie mtu, na wanafahamika maana waliwekewa sinia la wali ukiwa umekatwa mapande mapande kama keki inavyokatwa hawa jamaa walimaliza peke yao na still wakarudia round mbili zaidi.
     
  17. Mamaya

    Mamaya JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 13, 2011
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    Umenikumbusha pale majengo sokoni,moshi tukiwa tunaiba maembe gengeni kwa arawa, niliiba embe moja nikasepa nalo wenzangu wakanifata, nikalitemea mate looote, tena udenda, wengine wakachuna ila jmaa mmoja kwa jina la aloyse alichukua akala bila kujali.
     
  18. Mamaya

    Mamaya JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 13, 2011
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    darasa la pili, kuna dogo alikuwa anaishi karibu na gest, miaka hiyo kondom ilikuwa kitu cha ajabu sana na ni nadra kuonekana na mtoto ukionekana umeishika maana tulikuwa tunafanaya mapulizo unakula stick.

    Dogo yeye alikuwa anjua matumizi yake na jinsi inavyovaliwa, day moja aliokota ndom nyuma ya hiyo gest akawa anafanya demostration jinsi inavaliwa, basi dogo kwa kuwa diki yake ilikuwa ndogo ilibidi aifunge kwa kamba ya mgomba hapo kwenye diki yake ili imkae, halafu akakojolea humo mkojo ikajaa.
     
  19. W

    Wazzzza Member

    #19
    Dec 15, 2011
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    haisemeki
     
  20. N

    NUHWAHI Senior Member

    #20
    Jun 11, 2015
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    Ninapopata kufurahi inanilazimu kufungua threads za miaka mingi iliyopita, zina raha yake...
     
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