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Nifanyeje,nahisi kuchanganyikiwa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Sikwepeshi, May 5, 2012.

  1. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #1
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Jan 26, 2012
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    Habarini ndugu wanajf,tatizo hili sio langu ila la rafiki yangu.Nimelileta apa maana naamini ni mahali anapoweza kupata ushauri.Mwaka 2010 mwanzoni kuna binti nilimpa ujauzito,naweza sema ni bahati mbaya sababu sikuwa na mpango wowote wa kumuoa au kuzaa naye,alijifungua mtt wa kike ambaye kwa kweli matunzo ya mtt nayafanya vyema,tangu hapo niliacha mahusiano ya kimapenzi na huyo binti.Mwisho wa mwaka huo nilimpata mwenzi ambaye moyo wangu umeridhia kuwa naye maishani,nimempeleka kwa wazazi wangu na kwao nimeenda pia,wiki 2 zijazo naenda kulipa mahari ili nimuoa.
    kinachonitatiza ni kuwa binti niliyezaa naye pamoja na ndugu zake ni wakorofi mno na wanamtafuta mke wangu mtarajiwa ili wamdhuru,sababu za kiusalama nilihama nilipokuwa nakaa mwanzo na kuamia sehemu nyingine,mke wangu mtarajiwa hajui chochote kinachoendelea naogopa kumwambia asije niacha maana nampenda sana,mwanzo wa mahusiano yangu na yeye alinisisitiza nimpe historia yangu na mara nyingi alikuwa akisema hataki kabsa kuolewa na mwanaume aliyezaa na mytu mwingine,sababu hataki usumbufu,sijawah mwambia ata ndugu yangu yeyote kama nina mtt,mtarajiwa wangu huyu ana presha na kwa sasa anaujauzito wa miezi 2,nitamwambia vipi swala hili na nataka kufunga ndoa mwaka huu,lini ni wakati muafaka wa kumueleza? nimprotect vipi na yule mwanamke mwingine? kwa kweli she is decent and honest kiac kwamba sijui nianze wapi kumwambia,kila nikimtazama napatwa na uchungu kuwa nimemkosea sana.
    Ninachoogopa mtarajiwa huyu yuko vizuri sana kwenye inteligensia,kuna maswali ananiuliza hadi napata waswas kuwa anajua kitu,kuna kipindi mtt anakuwa mgonjwa na naenda kumchek bila yeye kujua,ila nikirudi nyumbani ananiuliza mgonjwa anaendeleaje? na kesho yake ananisisitiza sana nikamchek mgonjwa,huwa nampotezea kwa kuona kama nachukulia utani ila kiukweli najiuliza sana.siku nyingine halali usiku kucha analia tu ila haniambii kwa nini analia,zaid ya kuniambia kunamistake imetokea ktk maisha yake ila anamwachia mungu.
    Nimwambie? lini? nimprotect vipi? vipi Kuhusu pingamizi la ndoa likitokea?
     
  2. Swts

    Swts JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 5, 2012
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    Hmmm kwanza mkuu pole..ila mwanzo umejimix,mara rafik maelezo wewe..anyway watevr..labda nkulize swali,utamficha hadi lini? Coz pengine,ye ndo wakukuadvice n she'l fight 4u..if she real nids u.
    Af kingne watu cjuw wapoje,sasa hao ndugu,huyo binti amewafanyaje?
     
  3. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #3
    May 5, 2012
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    .Ni rafiki ila ili kutochanganya maelezo nimetake his position,naelewa sitaficha milele ila nimwambie lini? nitaanzia wapi kumwambia?
     
  4. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Mar 21, 2011
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    ungempenda ungemwambia mapema.

    Mie mtu anayeficha mtoto huwa naona ana low self esteem hasa kwenye mahusiano.

    Mbuzi hawezi kuwa wow wow.

    Mwache azae afu umwambie hasa kama ana presha.
     
  5. zomba

    zomba JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Nov 27, 2007
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    Unasema bahati mbaya" wakati ulimyukuwa bila kinga yoyote! Hujui kuwa lile ni tendo la kutafutia kizazi kipya?
     
  6. Swts

    Swts JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 5, 2012
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    kumwambia mapema was better,but kwakuwa ilishatokea, em jaribu,laschance mtoe out 2mrw,then umwambie..then from ther utajua wat nxt..na uwe tayari
     
  7. Binti Magufuli

    Binti Magufuli JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 5, 2012
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    mficha maradhi kifo humuumbua, hakuna kitu kibaya na kinachouma kama mtu kuuficha ukweli kuhusu historia yake mwanzao wa mahusiano, kwani mtoto ni dhambi? kilichokufanya umfiche mtoto wako ni nini?huna jinsi jipange, muite rafiki au ndugu yako mnaeelewana mumkalishe bi dada umweleze kuhusu mwanao!! la sivyo utamficha mwanao hadi lini?
     
  8. Aleyn

    Aleyn JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Nov 12, 2011
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    1.Kwanza Mpe Pole
    2.Ingekuwa vizur kama ungeeleza yule mwanamke aliyemwacha bado anampenda (mwanamke anampenda huyo rafiki yako/mwanaume)
    3.Wape Ongera kwa kutotoa mimba
    4.MWAMBIE ARUDISHE UPENDO KWA MWANAMKE WAKE WA KWANZA ila kama ni muislamu sidhani kama ni tatizo kubwa.
    5.Mwambie kuwa Ndugu upande wa kike wanahaki ya kulalamika.
     
  9. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 12, 2012
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    eebwana sikia kwanza kabisa jaribu kuisoma akili ya mwenzi wako juu ya kwanini analia, au alifanya kosa gani au anajuaje kuwa wewe unakwenda muona mgonjwa. ukipata jibu pa kuanzia ni rahisi sana. juu ya huyu uliyezaa naye asikusumbue kwani wee ulimtia mimba tu na hujawah kuish naye kindoa so hanauwezo wa kukuwekea pingamizi lolote lile ingawa sasa mwanao utamtesa kiaina.
     
  10. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #10
    May 5, 2012
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    Sijaweza andika kila kitu,ila kwa jinsi alivyoipata iyo mimba its a long story...unajua mwanamke akiamua kitu anawin ee
     
  11. mtotowamjini

    mtotowamjini JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Apr 23, 2012
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    Kama ulikua unajua huna mpango wa kuoa au kuzaa nae kwanini mlikua hamtumii kinga wakati mna sex??!!:mad::angry:

    na hapo kijana kachemsha...kama kuna kitu unatakiwa ufanye ukikutana na mwanamke ambae unampenda ni bora kabisa ujisalimishe useme una mtoto na mtu mwingine ili na mwenzio ajipange kiakili na kimoyo na apate muda wa kuku accept wewe na mtoto wako....ukichelewa kufanya hivi ukamuachia huyo mwanamke akakupenda afu badae ndio unakuja kusema utamuumiza sana na isitoshe umesema ndugu za huyo baby mama wako wanataka kumdhuru huyo mwanamke wako sasa is it really fair mwanamke aje kupigwa au kuumizwa kwa kosa ambalo sio lake?? ngoja nikuambie kama magufuli..ninakupa siku 7 umwambie huyo mwanamke kua una mtoto wa nje na maisha yake yanaweza kua hatarini maana anatafutwa na ndugu za baby mama wako:sad:
     
  12. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #12
    May 5, 2012
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    Asante mkuu,ila nilichonote hali kama hii humkuta mwenzi wangu huyu sana2 nikifanya mawasiliano yeyote khs mtt..ninachohic she is dealing with my 4n although hana mazoea ya kuishika.
     
  13. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 5, 2012
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    SASA jua kwamba she knows, so wewe kuwa mpole wala usisubiri ajifngue manake yeye kukaaa na guldge ndio kutakako muumiza. be a man before anything mkiwa ndani niny wawili just tell her kwa upole, and the truth kisha mwambie msimamo wako juu yake yeye na juu ya huyo mtoto mwingine. kama anakupenda kwa dhat hatalichukulia kama swala baya sana ingawa siyo rahisi kukubali kwa mara ya kwanza. mweleze sababu kubwa ya kutokumwambia mapema ni ulikuwa unahofia kumkosa ila sasa kwakua hukua umejua nafsi yake kwako ila as now you are confident with her thats why you've said it. mwambie very soonkwa utulivu tena umnunulie na zawadi yyte ile na umpatie hiyo zawadi before hujamwambia. kwani zawadi humnunua mtu.
     
  14. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #14
    May 5, 2012
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    mwanamke bado anampenda na anaamini ataolewa naye,licha ya kuwa alishamwambia hawez kumuoa,sio muislamu na hampendi kabisa yule mwanamke,walikaa kwenye mahusiano kwa mda mchache sana ila mwenendo wa yule binti haumvutii yeye kumuoa
     
  15. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #15
    May 5, 2012
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    Dah kwa kweli umenena mkuu,be blecd
     
  16. Asu tz

    Asu tz JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 5, 2012
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    pole sana

    Maelezo uliyoyaeleza ni kinyume na huyo best yako dizain kama umejielezea ww mwenyewe hiv?

    Siku nyngine usiseme ni rafk yako jikubal mwenyewe kwanza ndo upate ushaur


    Usione soo sema naeee.
     
  17. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 5, 2012
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    trust me,huyo mke mtarajiwa atamsamehe tu.issue kama hio ilimkuta sister wangu.mume ana mtot nje,muda mrefu akamficha.mume akawa ana feel guilty,siku akamwambia,ila ilikuwa ugomvi,at the end alimsamehe.huyo rafiki yako,anavyozidi kukaa kimya,ndio anazidi kujichongea.nina wasiwasi huyo mke anajua.ila anasubiri ukweli kutoka kwa mr.ni vizuri amuanzie mbali,amuweke chini,amwambie ukweli.na sio ukweli wa maneno,ajaribu kuwa karibu nae kimapenzi zaidi
     
  18. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #18
    May 5, 2012
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    nimetake his position ili kutochanganya kiswahili
     
  19. S

    Sikwepeshi Senior Member

    #19
    May 5, 2012
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    thnx mkuu,nilikuwa naamini kabisa kuna watu wana vivid examples ya hiki kitu,pamoja sana.
     
  20. Makedha

    Makedha Senior Member

    #20
    May 5, 2012
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    Hawezi kuahirisha ndoa? Maana nafikiri ni lazima amwarifu mke wake mtarajiwa kuhusu mtoto wake kabla ya ndoa kufanyika, ili mke ajue kwa kweli anayeolewa naye ni mtu wa aina gani. Akae naye akamwambia kwa utulivu na utaratibu mke asishtushwe mno. I guess naye angetaka kujua mapema yawezekanavyo kama mke angekuwa na mtoto nje, basi amtendee kama vile naye angetaka kutendewa...
    Kutoka na mwenendo wake, yaonekana mke anajua tayari anyway, labda anataka rafiki yako amwambie yeye mwenyewe ili kujua kiasi gani anaweza kumwamini.
     
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