Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Ni tatizo la kisaikolojia au?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MamaParoko, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. MamaParoko

    MamaParoko JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 14, 2008
    Messages: 465
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    Jamani mwenzenu nina kitu sijui niite tatizo ama? nikikutana na mtu mara ya kwanza akawa too nice to me, yaani akinichangamkia najisikia kuwa embarrased sijui kwanini. Najisikia kama sistahili vile, je ni tatizo la kisaikolojia au ni kawaida?
     
  2. A

    Aine JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
    Messages: 1,615
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mh!!!!!!!! ngoja wataalam wa saikolojia wakusaidie nahisi ni tatizo hilo
     
  3. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jul 29, 2009
    Messages: 16,200
    Likes Received: 104
    Trophy Points: 160
    Pole Mamaparoko tatizo ni kwamba haujiamini ,wala sio matatizo ya kisaikolojia
    Be yourself always
     
  4. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Mar 7, 2006
    Messages: 3,464
    Likes Received: 129
    Trophy Points: 160
    Je umekulia kwenye mazingira gani? Yaelekea umekulia na kulelewa katika mazingira ya kutopewa nafasi ya kusikilizwa na kufanywa usijiamini sana. Kwa maana hiyo umekuwa mtu unayedhani hustahili kunyenyekewa na mtu mwingine au kuwa treated so nicely. Unajiona kama second citizen ndani ya jamii unayoishi (Ni kama ukiwa nje ya nchi, ugenini).

    Ni hali unayotakiwa kukabiliana nayo kwa kujitambua kwamba unaweza kuwa mtu yeyote kwenye jamii yoyote ile duniani. Jiamni kwamba wewe bi bora zaidi au hata kama sio zaidi bali uko sawa na watu wengine katika jamii. Mmmh ngoja kwanza uje, maana nisije kuwa naingia CHAKA!!
     
  5. MamaParoko

    MamaParoko JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 14, 2008
    Messages: 465
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    I admit zamani confidence yangu ilikuwa chini sana, lakini miaka ya karibuni nimebadilika, nimetafakari jambo moja je kuwa middle child inachangia kumfanya mtu ukubwani ajione kama haonekani au hata akipewa attention anaona kama hastahili? Middle child anyone? please share your experience.
     
  6. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #6
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Aug 31, 2009
    Messages: 37,670
    Likes Received: 2,838
    Trophy Points: 280
    Ni kutojiamini...
     
  7. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 6, 2011
    Messages: 4,564
    Likes Received: 15
    Trophy Points: 0
    Heeeee kwanini unajiona hustahili kufanyiwa mema?
     
  8. MamaParoko

    MamaParoko JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 14, 2008
    Messages: 465
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    yah, should i seek professional help on this,? ila ili tatizo nimeliona pale ninapokutana na mtu mara ya kwanza, labda litakuwa limejificha kwenye nyanja nyingine za maisha yangu, please advise.
     
  9. Tulizo

    Tulizo JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
    Messages: 842
    Likes Received: 18
    Trophy Points: 35
    Rafiki wameshasema hapo juu ni tatizo lakujiamini... ila mimi ningeenda mbele zaidi ..Inawezekana hujui lakini kuna uwezekano wewe uko strong ila tu hujajifungua.. Nimesema hivyo kwa sababu unajihisi hustahili kupata msaada..au kuingia kwenye mkumbo tegemezi kama unavyo-observe maisha ya baadhi ya kina dada (sio wote).. yaani first guts zinakukimbiza kujitegemea na sio kumtegemea mtu au mwanaume...Ni first guts zinazokusukuma na ku-push nyuma feeling za kuwa tegemezi.. unatakiwa kubalance hiyo hali na confidence ambayo ndiyo pekee itakufanya uli-relax..
     
  10. MamaParoko

    MamaParoko JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 14, 2008
    Messages: 465
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    asante kaka/dada, je wewe ni mwanasaikolojia? umeangalia beyond na kuna ukweli na hili linani cost kutokuwa na marafiki. Je hii inaweza kuchangiwa na malezi hasa ikiwa nimekulia kwenye familia ya watoto wengi na kujihisi mimi ni invisible, please nishaurini kwakuwa nalea mtoto na sitaki awe kama mimi nataka awe na good social life.
     
  11. Tulizo

    Tulizo JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
    Messages: 842
    Likes Received: 18
    Trophy Points: 35
    Ndugu yangu mimi ni mkaka na tena tayari naitwa baba. Sijasomea Psychology ila nachangia kutokana na uzoefu wangu kwani nimepitia maisha mabovu, ya kubahatisha na yasiyo na msimamo. Anyway, back to your point…

    Kwa mtazamo wangu..maisha ni safari ambayo sehemu kubwa ya maandalizi inapangwa na wazazi..Mtoto unachukua usukani hapo baadaye (age depends on various circumstances) utakuwa umerithi knowledge toka kwa wazazi ambayo it-form foundation ya maamuzi yako na maisha yako.. Wakati unachukua usukani ili kuendesha maisha yako utaendelea kupata elimu jamii ambayo itaanza kukupa maswali ila majibu yake yata-depends zaidi na early life yako. Jamii itakupa changamoto ya uchumi, mazingira, utamaduni, Faith etc.. Confidence na strength za kupigana vita hivyo kutategemea na background life..kumbuka hapo ndipo michemsho inapoanza..kwani inabidi u-control maisha kwa kutumia vyote yaani elimu ya wazazi na kutumia elimu ya jamii. Kuna wenye bahati waliolelewa kwenye mazingira mazuri..kuna wale waliobabaisha..hivyo kujikuta wanapata elimu jamii toka wakiwa wadogo (wazazi walevi, au waliotelekezwa, au mazingira, uchumi etc)...kuna waliolelewa kwa misingi ya imani..kuna waliojengwa kujitegemea, kuna waliojengwa kuwa tegemezi, kuna waliojengwa wajiamini na kuna waliojengwa wategemee wanaume wao..etc..Anyway,.. level of confidence sio kwenda shule ila ni foundation ya aina gani ulipata..Foundation hiyo ndio itajenga..hisia, kujiamini, uzembe, umalaya, utii, ujasirimali, kutotegemea sisi wanaume wenye porojo etc..

    Sasa kuna kupindi cha mpito yaani kati ya years 18 – 40. Hapa unaanza kujijua wewe mwenyewe..Mimi binafsi naamini kina mama wana-mature at the age between 30 & 40.. Lakini kina baba tuna-mature after 40 years and not before.. (my view!)

    Katika kipindi hiki ndipo una anza kuangalia umetoka wapi, strength zako ..confidence.. na unataka kwenda wapi.. utakuwa na kazi kubwa ya ku-approve maisha yako ya zamani ..na kuangalia mirrow ya maisha ya mbele..hapo ndipo utajijua thamani yako na utaanza ku-respect people (at the bottom of your heart) siyo kwa nidhamu ya woga..utaweza kuja kwenye JF na kusikiliza ushauri wa watu kama sisi bila kujua background zetu..lakini yote ni kwa sababu unaji-mirrow maisha yako ya mbele.. yaani unakuwa na wasiwasi na future zaidi kuliko past…na pia wasiwasi huu ndio unafanya tupate forum kama hii ambayo watu wako anxious kujua tabia za watu..kwani kila mtu anatafuta formula ya maisha yake ya mbele….kila mtu anajaribu ku-approve plans zake etc.

    Anyway.. wacha kwanza niishie hapa..niache friends wachangie,,,na pia nikikuacha uchangie tujue wewe unataka nini? Kwani kuna vitu unabidi uvikubali.. kwanza..sisi wadau hatuwezi kubadili maisha yako ila wewe mwenyewe.. yaani wewe utachagua mchele na pumba toka kwenye porojo zenu.. Pili kumbuka sehemu ya yale unayofanya kwa sasa inawezekama ni replica ya maisha yako ya mwanzo… ni juu yako kubadili ukijua muda unayoyoma..Kuna thread kuna rafiki waliongelea sana mambo ya sacrifice, confidence etc.. Jaribu kuipitia tena..Pia najua friends watachangia mawazo yao..Let's see..kwani hapa kuna vichwa vingi na lazima utavuna ngano na siyo makapa.. .
     
  12. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 23,718
    Likes Received: 396
    Trophy Points: 180
    Duh, inabidi tusikutane.
     
Loading...