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Ni sawa...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by 4X4byfar, Jul 8, 2010.

  1. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 8, 2010
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    ...kwanza kabla ya yote za leo wandungu wapendwa.

    Leo nimekuja na swali, hivi ni sawa kweli kwa mtu kumuacha mpenzi/mme/mkee wake kwa sababu ya kutoambiwa "I love you", I miss you, and all the romantic staffs which I have not mentioned! au kutakuwa na mambo mengine. Na, je awezeje kumpa huyo mtu somo aelewe kuwa hivyo ndo ni visisimuo vyake katika mahusiano, especially kama umeshamueleza na akaonyesha dalili ya kujirekebisha. Hapo hapo unakuta huyo mtu alikuwa akiimba hizo sentences kwa sana tuu, then ghafla akasiizzz.
     
  2. Mom

    Mom JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 9, 2010
    Joined: Oct 13, 2009
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    ni mpenzi au mke? kama ni mke si sawa kwa sababu hayo maneno ya I love you, cjui miss you, mkiingia kwenye ndoa yanaisha taratibu yanakuwepo kwa nadra sana, especial pale penye watoto. ebu soma hapa..

    [FONT=&quot]DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
    I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'
    In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

    Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

    Here's the answer.
    EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

    Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

    People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

    Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

    The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

    At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

    Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

    But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could…and TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

    THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' …because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

    Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

    Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
    Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable…you can 'make' love.

    Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.... Not just a feeling.

    Remember this always:

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
     
  3. kaburunye

    kaburunye JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 9, 2010
    Joined: May 12, 2010
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    Issue siyo kuambiwa/kusema I love you (au hayo maneno mengine) bali ni kumaanisha unachikisema au kukionyesha kwa matendo bila hata ya kuweka maneno. Actions speaks louder than words na imani bila matendo imekufa (according to the Bible, which is the word of God). Watu wengi na hasa wanaojiita wapenzi (yaani ambao hawajaooana) wana tabia ya kudanganyana sana kwa maneno kama I love you, I miss you etc lakini huwa hawamaanishi ndo maana baada ya muda mfupi mahusiano huvunjika. True love is more than empty words. Upendo unagharama zake na si wengi walio tayari kuzilipa.

    In short, hakuna anayeweza kumwacha mke/mme simply bse hakuambiwa maneno fulani. Chanzo kikubwa cha kuvunjika mahusiano ni kukosekana upendo wa kweli. You can read at your own 1 Wakorintho 13 (the whole chapter uone maana ya upendo). Upendo huvumilia, hauchoki, hauhesabu mabaya, haumtendei mwenzio jambo baya, husamehe nk.

    Ukisikia mtu anasema kaacha/kaachika kwa kutoambiwa maneno fulani ujue ni mwongo wala kweli haimo ndani yake. Ubarikiwe kamanda
     
  4. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 9, 2010
    Joined: Aug 21, 2007
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    ingelikuwa bora zaidi ukatazama vitendo vyake kama vinaendana na 'i love you'. Iki wa vinaendana japo huwa hatumii maneno hayo ( he/she is not a romantic at heart) bora usimuache kwa kuwa unaweza pata mwengine akasema hiyo I love Ypu lakini vitendo vikawa kinyume yake.

    lkn since umesema kwako wewe kuambiwa i love u na vikorokoro vyengine ndio vinavyokupagawisha kwenye relationship ina maana kama huambiwi japo mtu awe mwema kiasi gani unaweza usione wema wake na ukakosa amani.

    sasa hapo ni ku gamble tu.........................toka kwenye relationship hiyo ukatafute atakaekuambia i love u ambapo unaweza kupata anaemaanisha au unaweza kupata asiye maanisha.

    au komaa na huyo asiyesema i love you lakini anaonyesha vitendo vyenye kumaanisha hiyo.
     
  5. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 9, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Asante Mom kwa kutushirikisha! Ubarikiwe!
     
  6. M

    Mokoyo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 9, 2010
    Joined: Mar 2, 2010
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    Kwa maana hiyo haya maneno ni danganya toto na yanatumika tu wakati wa kampeni ya kutaka kuingia kwenye ndoa sio? Nimestuka
     
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