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Ni ndoa au ndoana?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Jan 28, 2010
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
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    Je ni vizuri kusubiri hadi wote wawili muwe katika utayari wa kuanza maisha ya ndoa na mkubaliane au ni vizuri kulazimishana kwamba "ni lazima unioe au tuachane"? Je ndoa ya kupeana ultimatum na mwisho mtu analazimika kupeleka washenga kwenu itakuwa ni ndoa kweli?

    Lakini upande mwingine, kama dada hatamhimiza kijana amuoe si anaweza kujikuta anasubiri daima adumu? Wakioana kwa kulazimishana itakuwa ni maisha ya furaha huko mbeleni au ndiyo yatakuwa yale yale ya "isingekuwa wazazi wako mimi nisingekuoa wewe"? ..

    Au zile za pressure ya wazazi kuwa "unangoja nini" mwisho mtu anaamua kujichukulia mke ili kuwatuliwa wazazi au kukubali kuchukuliwa ilimradi watu waache kusema sema...

    Ndoa siyo hiari na mapatano?
     
  2. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 28, 2010
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    tatizo wanaume tusipokumbushwa kumbushwa....!tunajiweka zen tunakanyaga mafuta!:D
     
  3. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #3
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Dawa ni kwa binti kuendelea kuishi kwa wazazi/au kwake hakuna cha lets move in pamoja- then kama kijana anakuhitaji then atahalalisha .
     
  4. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Ndoa nzuri ni ile ambayo both sides wanafanya kwa free will. Siku hizi factors nyingi zinachangia ndoa kufungwa ambazo kusema kweli zinakosa commitment ya uhakika. Kwa mfano, wengine kuolewa ni kuondoa mikosi, wakati wengine kuoa ni imetokea bahati mbaya.Imagine kama ndani ya akili yangu naingia kwenye ndoa na fikra za aina hiyo...lazima ntazugazuga tu siku ziende.
     
  5. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Hili linatokea sana hasa hasa kwa vijana wa kiume. Mimi pia yalinikuta hasa pale rafiki zangu wa karibu walipokuwa wameoa. Ingawa si sahihi kuhivyo lakini kwa namna linasaidia kumkumbusha kijana. Maisha ya ukapera yana taabu zake pia:confused:!
     
  6. vivian

    vivian JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 28, 2010
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    What is the maximum time to stay in a relationship before marriage? unakuta m2 mko naye miaka nenda miaka rudi kakuvisha pete ya uchumba mpaka ishakua ndogo, bado anakushughulikia tu! should I not remind him that time is going? Some Men!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! to hell with you all.
     
  7. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Mzee Mwanakijiji nionavyo ni muhimu sana kuingia kwenye ndoa ukiwa tayari na umeamua kutoka ndani ya moyo wako kuwa niko tayari sasa kuanza maisha ya ndoa,na kingine pia tusiingie kwenye ndoa ki-fashion,yaani kwa vile mwenzangu kavaa ngua nyeupe na mimi lazima nivae,sasa kama mtu kaingia kwenye ndoa kwa sababu hataki hiyo fashion impite tunategemea nini hapo? kuna mchangiaji mmoja amesema kuwa wengine huamua kuolewa au kuoa kwa kuondoa mikosi ni kweli hiyo dhana ipo pia kwa watu wengine,hivi mtu akiingia na dhana hiyo kwamba alienda kuondoa mkosi nini kinatokea hapo? au mwingine shida yake ni kuitwa tu MRS.

    Nionavyo tunapoamua kuingia kwenye ndoa tuachane na dhana za kusema natoa mkosi,nataka kuitwa MRS na vitu kama hivyo, tujaribu kuangalia mbali,maana ndoa ina wigo mpana sana kuna ups and downs nyingi sana kwa hiyo tuwe makini sana pale tunapoamua kuweka commitment.
     
  8. Chimunguru

    Chimunguru JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Mzee Mwanakijiji nadhani mada yako imekujawakati muafaka, sasa hivi ndoa nyingi mtu unalazimika kuoa, sababu kubwa kwa mfano hapa DAR wachumba wengi wanaishi pamoja, au hata kama hawaishi pamoja wanakuwa tayari wanamegana tena bila kujikinga, matokeo yake ni mimba, binti akishapata mimba sasa anakuja na "BABA atasemaje" au MAMA ntamwambia nini lazima tufunge ndoa, au kama ulikuwa umeshatambulishwa ukweni sasa wakwe watakuambia kijana sisi tunataka ndoa hapa, tayari ushampa mimba binti yetu, na wewe labda hukuwa na mpango wa kuoa hapa karibuni, kweli utalazimika kuoa hivyo hivyo tuu au kama ni mgumu basi utabidi usubiri mpaka binti ajifungue ndo uoe, na wengine utakuta bado alikuwa anatafuta na hiyo imetokea sasa binti wa watu kanasa na wewe hukuwa na mpango wa kumuoa yeye, kwa pressure za wazazi wako na wake unabidi sasa uoe, hapo sasa ndani ya NDOA kunakuwa hakuna amani tena. AMBAO hampo kwenye ndoa jamani OA au uolewe na mtu ambaye you cant live without na si you can live with. Mambo hubadirika sana kwenye ndoa, pale ndo maisha ya kweli sasa kama ilizoea kutolewa kila siku sasa mitoko inaweza ikawa once in a month au ikafa kabisa, majukumu yanakuwa mengi hasa mkishapata mtoto, ukiwa na doubt flani ifanyie kazi kabla ya kuji commit, otherwise utakuja lia.
     
  9. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Umeandika kwa hisia! Pole sana vivian!
     
  10. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Ndoa ni pale wote mnapokuwa tayari na si kulazimishana ..
    Ukimlazimisha mwenzio matokeo yake ndo yale mkogombana kidogo ..mwenzio atakwambia kwa unilizimisha nikuoe mis sikuwa na mpango na masimango mengineyo atakayojisikia kukuumiza nayo
     
  11. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

    #11
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Ndoa ni wote kuamua kwa pamoja kuoana bila ya kulazimishana.Lakini wakati mwingine ni vyema mwanadada awe anamkumbusha mkaka ili watimize hii kanuni ama sheria iliyowekwa ya kufunga ndoa..nasem,a hivyo kwani kuna jamaa yangu mmoja hapa ofisini niliwahi kumwambia kwamba aoe..yeye akanijibu kwamba hawezi kuoa kwa sasa kwani kila kitu anakipata toka kwa mpenzi wake hivyo hana sababu ya kuingia kwenye maisha ya ndoa kwa sasa...this means that huyo mpenzi wake atasubiri mpaka aipate fresh kama asipompush jamaa ili waamuae kimoja kuoana ama kuachana....hawa jamaa wako kwenye urafiki kwa muda mrefu sasa.
     
  12. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Ni muhimu kuoa; unajua kumegana kutamu sana lakini huwa tunajisahau kuwa uhusiano wa mke na mume ni zaidi ya kumegana! Kuna kuugua, sherehe za kifamilia nimeona kwa mifano hai ndugu yangu akishindwa kumshirkisha partner wake kwenye msiba uliotukumba kwa sababu familia yetu kwa ujumla hatuendekezi upumbavu na tunahitaji watu wawazi na hii ni misimamo tuliyojiwekea kudumisha heshima yetu wenyewe! Hivyo kwa namna mmmoja unakuwa unamnyima mwenzio haki yake ya kujumuika bila wasiwasi na watu wa jamaa yako!
     
  13. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Mwambie pete inanibana au imepitwa na wakati, ninunulie nyingine! :) Halafu hizo pete za uchumba kuna wanaume wanatemba nazo kwenye gari atii, unakuta anazo hata sita. Akiona demu anamzingua zingua anataka kuhahakishiwa ''future'' anatwanga ''suprise''! :)

    Ndoa inatakiwa itokee automatically, za kulazimishana nazo mara nyingi huwa zinaishia pabaya!
     
  14. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #14
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Marriage is out of vogue. Ask John and Elizabeth Edwards if you don't believe me....
     
  15. Mwalimu

    Mwalimu JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Watu wengine huingia kwenye ndoa kwa kufuata mkumbo...mtu anapoona watu alio nao karibu wameoa/wameolewa na yeye hutaki kuachwa nyuma...
     
  16. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Duh! So anaamua kuonyesha watu kuwa naye anaweza!:confused::)
     
  17. Mwalimu

    Mwalimu JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 28, 2010
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    Naam....
     
  18. GP

    GP JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jan 28, 2010
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    hii sredi ingejadiliwa baada ya terehe 13 february 2010.
     
  19. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 28, 2010
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    yaah!...
     
  20. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 28, 2010
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    cases za namna hii zipo nyingi mno. na hupelekea watu hadi kwenda kwa waganga kwa kudhani wamelogwa au wana nuksi!!!!

    nina rafiki yangu yeye akidate mtu wiki mbili tu anaanza kumuulizia lini tunafunga ndoa? sisemi hii kama hii ni sahihi au la, ila mara kadhaa ametambulisha watu nyumbani kwenye hatua za mwanzo sana za mahusiano yao before even she gets to knw enough of the person (out of desparation) and she ends u being seriously hurt!

    sasa ukiingia kwenye ndoa kwa staili hiyo nadhani ni mateso tu!!
     
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