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Ni miaka mingapi inafaa kukaa kwenye uchumba na BF au GF kabla haujaoa au kuolewa?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Finest, Aug 26, 2010.

  1. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 26, 2010
    Joined: Jul 14, 2010
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    Nina rafiki yangu mmoja ambae tulisoma pamoja ana mahusiano na msichana mmoja takribani mwaka mmoja sasa, juzi aliamua kwenda kumtambulisha mchumba wake huyo kwa wazazi wake baada ya kumtabulisha kijana alipatwa na mshangao pale alipoambiwa na wazazi wake kuwa bado hajakomaa na hana uzoefu kwenye mambo ya mahusiano akaambiwa mwaka mmoja hautoshi.

    Wazazi wake huyo kijana wakamwambia asubiri kidogo walau wakae kwa muda wa miaka mitatu ili wafahamiane zaidi na huyo binti, msichana wa watu alikuwa dissapointed kwa kuwa aliona kama vile wazazi wa huyu kijana hawamuamini yeye(msichana) pia wazazi wamemwambia kijana wao asubirie mpaka baada ya miaka mitatu ndio atakuwa amekomaa kuingia kwenye ndoa.

    Baada ya rafiki yangu kunieleza hali halisi automatically nilianza kujiuliza maswali yafuatayo:

    Je ni muda gani ambao mtu unapaswa kukaa kwenye uchumba kabla haujaoa? Je ni mwaka 1, 2, 3, au zaidi?
    Je wazazi wamefanya sawa kumwambia kijana wao kuwa hajakomaa na kwamba anahitaji muda wa miaka mitatu zaidi?
    Je kukaa kwenye uchumba kwa muda mrefu zaidi ni kigezo kimojawapo kinachokufanya uonekane kwamba umekomaa na sasa uko tayari kuingia kwenye ndoa?

    Naomba kuwasilisha
     
  2. k

    kimanga Member

    #2
    Aug 26, 2010
    Joined: Mar 3, 2010
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    Mimi naona swala la kukaa miaka muda mrefu kwenye uchumba hilo si kigezo cha kusema kwamba kutamkomaza mtu kabla ya kuoana.Watu tunasahau,kikubwa awe ni mke mwema aliyechaguliwa na Mungu kwa ajili yake,na umri uwe ni 18yrs and above naamini hapo binadamu anaweza kufanya maamuzi ya msingi katika maisha yake.
     
  3. Dreamliner

    Dreamliner JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 26, 2010
    Joined: Jan 17, 2010
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    Hakuna kitu kama hicho.. Watu wengine hukaa miezi tu na wakafunga ndoa na ikadumu.. Wengine hukaa miaka zaidi ya 10. Na ndoa ikadumu. Mimi sioni ni kigezo kuangalia muda! Hao wana jambo zaidi ya hilo.
     
  4. NG'OTIMBEBEDZU

    NG'OTIMBEBEDZU JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 26, 2010
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    ........ na wengine husafiri pamoja kwenye bus, ndege, train na hata daladala na mwisho wa safari wanakubaliana kuishi pamoja, wanaoana na maisha yanendelea mpaka kifo kiwatenganishe!! Hapo suala ni nia thabiti ya wahusika na imani pia
     
  5. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 26, 2010
    Joined: May 10, 2010
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    ..mh apana muda haumat sanasana mkikaa sana unaweza uka un do nia!!!!!1
    kuna rafiki zangu walikuwa kwenye mahusiano tangu tukiwa 1st yr udsm 2004 mpaka twamaliza 2007 then wakaspend pamoja mpaka 2009 ndo wakaoana afta bibie kiujiridhisha wamefahamina vya kutosha ..mmh bwana weeeeeeee wap afta miezi miwili ya ndo ayule kaka alianza kuchange isivyo kawaida yan mpk bibie akaanza kusema si uyu niliyemjua na angejua asingekubali kuolewa naye............
    .......si kama msichunguzane kabisa apana bt nt more than 1 yr ...........cz uwezi kumjua mtu ata km ukikaa nae miaka mia cz pipo do change each n every minute uliyemjua jana si waleo uyo so wat iz imptat apa ni kujiridhisha yaliyomo yamo +mnaeshimiana +mshawekeana MOT then mpango kamili..........!!!!!!!!!!!
    ao wazazi bwana wana lao jambo n 2b frank wth u kaka ni kwamba.........WAZAZI HAWAMTAKI UYO BINT.........tuma wazee wakazungumze na wazee ili wawe wazi na wewe juu ya kwanini hawamtak uyo bint.......pole mwaya .......dah simpatii picha uyo bint anavyosononeka....
     
  6. funzadume

    funzadume JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 26, 2010
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    unajua kwa kawaida mtoto kwa mzazi hakui unaweza kukuta hao wazazi wana maana yao kubwa tu labda wanamuona kijana wao hajatulia vya kutosha au kuna kitu wanakichunguza kuhusu huyo binti ambacho wana-doubt nacho ila hakuna muda maalum wakukaa uchumba inategemea vitu vingi sana hapo kati kati yake

    Ila kuna msemo unasema ukimchunguza sana kuku umli
     
  7. Nyange

    Nyange JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 26, 2010
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    Hata siku moja inatosha. Kukaa muda mrefu ili kuchunguzana, sio kigezo! Wangapi tumewaona kama wachumba lakini baada ya kuwa mme na mke wametengana? Wadada wakiwa wachumba huficha tabia mbaya lakini wakisha olewa nyodo kwa kwenda mbele!!
     
  8. Z

    Zion Daughter JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 26, 2010
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    Hao wazazi walikuwa hapampendi huyu bintikutokana na sababu zao binafsi.Ndio maana wakaamua kumwambia/kumkatisha tamaa mbele yake anasikia.
    Vinginevyo pengine wana umri mdogo sana,labda tuulize wana miaka mingapi?
     
  9. Konakali

    Konakali JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Aug 26, 2010
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    1. Hakuna muda maalum uliothibitishwa kutosha kuishi kama BF na GF hadi kuoana rasmi...! Badala yake vitu vifuatavyo ndio vinamata zaidi;

    • Thamira, attitudes, na mtazamo wenu katika maisha...
    • Ni kwa kiasi gani kila mmoja amekuwa muwazi kwa mwingine...
    • Je, mlipata kufahamiana huko nyuma, kabla ya mahusiano yenu....
    • Imani ya kila mmoja kwa mwenzake....
    • Uwezo wenu (mfano kiuchumi) wa kutekeleza kila mlichokubaliana usiku uliopita.. n.k
    2. Kwangu mimi sioni kama wazazi wamefanya kosa kuwaambia bado ni mapema. Hii ni kwa kuwa ni mapema katika akili zao, na pia naamini kuwa wametoa wazo/ushauri tu, na sio amri....

    3. Kukaa kwa muda mrefu sio kigezo tosha kuwa umekomaa kwenye ndoa tarajiwa, bali pamoja na kwamba hiyo pia inamata, lakini itategemeana pia na vigezo vingine kama hizo hapo juu, na namna nyie wenyewe mlivyoandaana kuwa wanandoa....
     
  10. D

    Dick JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 26, 2010
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    Hakuna miaka wala miezi, maelewano na utayari wenu tu.
     
  11. Tonge

    Tonge JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 26, 2010
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    Miak sio ishu, mi na mke wangu tumekaa miaka saba ndio tumeoana juzi, so uaminifu na kuaminiana ndio bora zaidi.Hao wazazi wana lao jambo si upevu wa huyo dogo.Muambie atulie na aendelee kumpoza mchumba wake asije akakata tamaa.
     
  12. Obama wa Bongo

    Obama wa Bongo JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 4, 2014
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    :a s 465::a s 465::a s 465::a s 465::a s 465::a s 465::a s 465:
     
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