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Ni kweli mwanamke akiugua muda mrefu mwanamme humkimbia?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Feb 24, 2012.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Feb 24, 2012
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    Nilikuwa na mjadala na rafiki yangu mmoja na mada husika ilikuwa inajadiliwa. Kwamba, ati mwanamke akiugua labda kwa mrefu kidogo mwanamme hawezi kutulia sana huamua kutafuta kidumu au mahali pa pembeni pa kujiliwaza. Kwamba mwanamme hana ule upendo wa kweli wa kumpenda mwenzie katika shida na raha. Hoja nyingine ilitolewa kuwa wakati mwingine ni mwanamke mgonjwa ambaye anamuencourage mumewe kwenda kutafuta wa kumliwaza kwamba hawezi/hataki "kumuona" mumewe anamuangalia tu hata hawezi kumpatia mapenzi yake bora amuache atafute mwingine!

    Hoja ikawa kinyume chake hata hivyo si kweli. Kwamba, mwanamme akiugua mwanammke atajitahidi kuwa naye na anakuwa kama ameamua kutawa. Ni mara chache sana kumkuta mwanamke ambaye anampenda mtu wake kiukweli na akaugua halafu yeye akamtelekeza kwenda kwa mwanamme mwingine. Mshirika tuliyekuwa tunapiga soga akasema "labda wanawake wa enzi hizo, hawa wa dot com 'they will leave your @ss in a minute'" alisema.

    Ni kweli kuwa linapokuja suala la kuugua na kuuguzana tunapenda tofauti? Kwanini?
     
  2. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 24, 2012
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    Nawakubali sana wanaostick together thru thick n thin! Ni kweli, ni wanaume wachache sana ambao wakuwa na wenzi wao kwa uaminifu ktk kipindi cha magonjwa! Mara nyingi, wataprovide financially lkn lazima watatafuta vidumu tu!
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 24, 2012
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    tusi generalize

    ishu sio kuugua tu
    ishu ipo kwenye kipato pia
    what if baba anaugua na ndio tegemeo la kipato?
    na mama huko nje anafuatwa na vidume?

    its complicated
     
  4. Kiranga

    Kiranga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 24, 2012
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    Hili ni swala la utamaduni, uchumi, emotional intelligence e.g, si la mwanamke vs. mwanamme.

    Mfano, kuna a lady professor friend of mine, ana rafiki yake ambaye mume wake (wa rafiki) anaumwa muda mrefu, na huyo rafiki anaamua kuachana na mumewe kwa sababu ndoa imeingia complications nyingi, primarily za emotional na kiuchumi kama unavyojua mambo ya "bills bills bills" etc. Sasa hawa ni wanyamwezi, wanawake wamesoma, mmoja ana PhD ya Psychology mwingine ana Masters ya Uchumi wanaambiwa wana haki ya kutofungwa na feelings za "altruism" na kama ndoa hai make sense unaondoka kwa manufaa yako, despite all the hoopla of "til death do us part".

    Sasa kuna wengine wamelelewa kikatoliki na kitu kama hiki hakikubaliki, kuna wengine wana ustaarabu wa kiafrika ambao hauruhusu kumtelekeza hata mtu usiyemjua wakati anaumwa na hana msaada, sembuse mkeo/mmeo. Tukiangalia hili tutashangaa. Lakini hawa washapita hizi guilt tripping constructs sasa hivi wanaangalia kile kinacho make sense katika ulimwengu wao wa kisomi wa "me first".

    Same time wanyamwezi hao hao utakuta kisichana kidogo kimeolewa na mbilionea mzeee hata kama mgonjwa, Anna Nicole Smith Style. Watu wanapigia mahesabu fuba. This is an extreme case lakini it states the case and depict the complexities clearly.

    Najaribu kuonyesha kwamba hapa issue si "mwanamke vs. mwanamme" bali mwanamke wa aina gani na mwanamme wa aina gani.

    This is not a purely gender issue, there are a lot of factors at play here.
     
  5. J

    Jini Mapembe Member

    #5
    Feb 24, 2012
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    Mimi nina mifano hai kadhaa ya jinsia zote mbili kukimbia wenza wao au kuhamisha penzi lao kwa wengine wakati wa shida. Tena wakati mwingine inaweza isiwe shida kubwa kihivyo.

    Inaweza ikawa hata kisukari, kwa mfano. Kwamba mwanaume anagundulika ana kisukari, ambacho pia kinapunguza nguvu za kiume. Basi pole pole mama anaanza kutafuta penzi pembeni na hatimaye kuhama mazima mazima.

    So it goes both ways and it's hard to quantify who does it more than the other.
     
  6. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mimi nimewahi kuona mwanamke anatoka nje kupata dawa ya kumtibia mumewe
    sijui utaita huo upendo wa kweli au ndo usaliti???????
     
  7. J

    Jini Mapembe Member

    #7
    Feb 24, 2012
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    These issues are way too complicated than most people are willing to admit.
     
  8. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 24, 2012
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    kutafuta kidumu ni ishu nyingine
    kumwacha kabisa na kuvunja ndoa nayo ni ishu nyingine pia.

    Jamani mtu kaugua miaka 10 hajiwezi afu huyu mwingine biolojia ikome???
    Sidhani..
     
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    wapo wanawake wanatembea na hakimu ili mumewe asifungwe
    au na polisi ili kesi ife....
    na ukiwauliza watakwambia wanafanya kwa upendo wa kweli kwa waume zao....

    hili neno upendo wa kweli hili......
     
  10. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 24, 2012
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    Boss, kuna wanandoa wengi pamoja na baba kuwa na uwezo bado haprovide kwa familia!

    As u say tusigeneralize; nina relative wa kike ambaye mumewe alipata accident, so hayupo okay upstairs na ktk ndoa. So my sis uses family money plus mshahara wa mume kutafuta Serengeti boys!
     
  11. J

    Jini Mapembe Member

    #11
    Feb 24, 2012
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    Pia wapo wanaotembea na mabosi wao ili wapewe favors flani flani kama visafari vya nje vyenye marupurupu mazuri. Pesa hizo wakirudi nyumbani wanazitumia kumalizia ujenzi wa nyumba yao au kusomesha watoto kwenye shule nzuri....

    Haya mapenzi haya.....yaani we acha tu.
     
  12. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 24, 2012
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    Lakini mleta mada, kauliza wanamme kuwaacha wanawake wakiugua muda mrefu.

    Hii ni kweli, wanamme warahisi sana kukimbia mke anapougua muda, hasa anapokuwa hawezi kutoa mzigo.
     
  13. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    ilikuwepo kesi umeniikumbusha
    mdada anatembea na ma boss ili mumewe apandishwe vyeo fasta
    na safari za nje kibao.....

    siku mume wamegombana na mkewe
    mkewe akaropoka akasema
    we unafikiri haya mafanikio yamekuja tu kwa juhudi zako peke yako? lol
     
  14. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 24, 2012
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    Namuunga mkono Kiranga hapo juu...ishu sio gender bali inategemea ni mwanaume gani na ni mwanamke gani.Katika ubinadamu wa kawaida haitegemewi umwache mwenzi wako kwa sababu ya ugonjwa.....ukifikiri kwa urefu wa mawazo utaona kuna maisha ambayo ni lazima uyapitie ---ugumu wa maisha na vikwazo--unajifunza kuishi navyo kwa sababu ndio kanuni na haitufanyi tuwatelekeze tunaowapenda
     
  15. J

    Jini Mapembe Member

    #15
    Feb 24, 2012
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    Au kuna wale wake ambao baada ya miaka kadhaa ya ndoa anapata scholarship ya kwenda kusoma nje kwa zaidi ya mwaka. Mwanaume huwezi kumkataza....ukimkataza utaonekana mpinga maendeleo lol.

    Hahahaaaa....sasa huko masomoni mambo ya ma study groups.....lazima itakuwepo njemba inajisevia. Unless aende na mume. Ila ni waume wangapi ambao wanaweza kwenda kuwasindikiza wake zao masomoni na wakae huko hadi wamalize shule?
     
  16. d

    dav22 JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 25, 2012
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    ishu iko na utata hii..
     
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