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Ni jinsi gani ya kugundua mpenzi wako kama ana mtoto nje ya ndoa?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Viol, May 26, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Wakati mwingine unakuta uhusiano baina ya wewe na mpenzi wako umeanzia mlipokutana chuoni au mlipohamishwa kikazi na kukutana kwenye mkoa mwingine,au sometimes wale wanaosoma nje ya nchi,inatokea hakuna hata source ya kupata historia yake.Unakuta mara ya kwanza uhusiano unapoanza mpenzi wako anakuwa sio mkweli kukuambia kuwa ana mtoto wa mtu mwingine ambaye waliachana,baadaye mnajikuta mmeshafall in love kabisa halafu ndo anakuja kukuambia,na unajikuta kumwacha ni kama utamwumiza sana,Mi imenitokea na nikamwacha mana hakuwa mkweli mwanzoni.
    1)~~~~Je kama ni we ungeendelea naye au ungemwacha?
    @~~~~Kwakuwa sometimes ni ngumu kupata tetesi kuwa ana mtoto,je kuna dalili yoyote ya
    kumgundua mtu mwenye mtoto?
     
  2. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    kweli waweza kuwa na hasara
    sababu kakudanganya na we ulimwamini
    ndio maana hukufuatilia mmmhh

    lakini kwa mtazamo wangu kosa hapo
    ni uongo na hakuwa na maradhi wala
    wala matatizo mengine yeyote ..
    kama kweli ulimpenda kama ulivyodai hapo juu
    usinge mwacha ( au ulikuwa ni usanii tu)
     
  3. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    1)~~~~Je kama ni we ungeendelea naye au ungemwacha?

    Ningekua mimi nisinge muacha... manapoanza uhusiano haina maana ndo mtafika
    mbali.. kwa mapenzi ya siku hizi watu wanatoka kwanza then eventually wanaachana
    au kuendelea mpaka kuoana... huyo mpenzi wako alikua mkweli kabisa mana alipoona
    sasa unakua part ya maisha yake akaona akwambie mapema. Mtu kua na mtoto haina
    maana hafai kuwa mwenza ...

    @~~~~Kwakuwa sometimes ni ngumu kupata tetesi kuwa ana mtoto,je kuna dalili yoyote ya
    kumgundua mtu mwenye mtoto?


    Kama uko nampenzi wako kuanza kujiuliza na kupeleleza kua ana mtoto ni kujipatia
    pressure, when the time is right ni kuomba tu akwambie kama alivyofanya wako.
    Za nini dalili kutafuta Excellent, anaweza kua na mtoto na asikwambie maybe tokana
    na the way anakujua kwamba maybe you will react differently...
     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Afrodenzi kwangu haikuwa usanii nilimpenda kweli,hata yeye mwenyewe aliniambia baada ya mi kuona pics za huyo mtoto kati ya pics zake zingine,,so ikawa imeniumiza sana mana kama aliweza kunificha unaweza ukashangaa ana uhusiano na mwenyewe mtoto,so niliogopa kwamba nitakuwa napoteza mda wangu bure.
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Asha D unajua baadhi ya watu,akikupenda anafall mazima kwenye love,na ukimwumiza inakuwa ishu lingine,kwani kuna tatizo gani angeniambia mwanzoni?kama ameweza kunificha we mpaka mi mwenyewe nikaja kupata pic ya mtoto kwenye album photo zake na kumwuliza akawa anagoma sio wake na baadaye akakubali si inaonyesha kabisa anamkana mtoto wa damu yake.
     
  6. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Acha kitu mapenzi bana.... acha kabisa.. huyo dada alikua anakupenda mno
    mpaka alihakikisha asifanye chochote cha kukubadilisha mawazo,,,
    mimi hapo naona kama hukumpenda, au aidha wewe bado mdogo
    (kwanza picha yako yaonesha) hujui bado real adha za mapenzi na jinsi
    gani ilivyo shida kupata mwanamke anae kupenda na katulia...

    Wewe kumuacha kwako ni jibu tosha ni kwanini alikuficha na bado akawa anakana...
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Asha D mi nadhani we unamtetea ila embu tugeuzie hii picha kwa upande wako,kama ingekuwa wewe ndo umedanganywa ingekwaje?kwanza kitu ambacho hukujua mwanzoni inakugusa sana,unaanza kujiuliza kwamba,huyo mtoto angenipendaje hata ningempa matunzo?mana lazima we sio mzazi halisi wa mtoto lazima mtoto alalamike na kila kitu ataona unamwonea halafu jumlisha na huo uongo.
     
  8. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Hayo maswali unauliza wataka tu kujustify... Simtetei but naelewa her perspective...

    Excellent sababu hua tunakutana mara kwa mara jamvini ni muhimu
    ujue kua kila jambo ambalo natoa mawazo hua najiweka katika hio nafasi...
    mfano mzuri kabisa nikwambie... niko kwenye ndoa ya amani.. leo hii
    nakuta ushahidi usio bishika kua mume wangu ana mtoto kazaa nje sitamuuliza
    maana najua kwa kumuuliza nijiandae na kuvunjika amani kwa mda humo ndani
    alafu pia nitake nisitake maji yameshamwagika na mtoto ndo huyo yupo...

    Kwa nini nitafanya hivyo??? Moja sababu sielewi kua alivyo cheat ilikua katika
    mazingira yepi na ni wakati gani, pili hajawahi nionesha mapenzi yamepungua,
    tatu najua wanume wengi hutoka nje (inaniboa saana) sasa kama najua yuko
    capable kwa kutoka nje kusikia ana mtoto kuna ajabu gani???nne inamaana ndo
    nafungua mlango wa usumbufu na mjadala wa huyo mtoto au kuletewa kabisa
    nyumbani kwangu...NDIO itaniuma saaana lakini sitalipa hilo suala priority
    mana hata nifanye nini haibadiliki BUT kama ndoa ingekua purukushani na
    full kudimba dimba hiyo inakua nafasi yangu ya kuachia ngazi...

    i hope kwa mfano huu umenielewa Excellent
     
  9. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    I agree with u Asha!
     
  10. Manumbu

    Manumbu JF-Expert Member

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    Asha D, nakubaliana na sikubaliani na ww pia kwenye mambo flaniflani. sitaki ku-quote yote manake itakuwa hadithi ndefu. lbd niseme mchango wangu kwneye hili. nadhani kuongopewa ndo dhambi kubwa one can do kwenye mahusiano. kwa kuatazama situation ya excellent, nadhani alichukua hatua kadhaa. aligundua picha ambazo zilionesha uwepo wa huyo mtoto. akamuulizia. bado huyo dada akakanusha kuwa sio mtoto wake. badae ndo akaja kukubali kuwa ni kwlei ni mwanae. nadhani sababu ya Excellent kumwacha sio kwa kuwa ana mtoto, kama alivyosema mwenyewe. lkn kiini cha yote ni realisation kuwa huyu mtu uliyenaye na ambaye ungependa ukae nae maisha yote yajayo, sio mkweli. na anaweza kukuongopea mbele ya macho yako na akiwa mkavu kabisa. ndo maana Excellent anasema kama huyu dada ameweza kumkana mwanae wa kuzaa. kwa sababu swali utakalobakiwa nalo ni kuwa 'hivi ni kweli namfahamu huyu dada ambaye she is about to become my better half? kesho ukisikia la kuzushiwa huko mtaani utaweza kweli kusimama bodly na kumtetea au na wewe unagulp ukiwa na mashaka mashaka kibao? Hili ndo lililofanya huyu dada aachike na sidhani kuwa ni suala la kuwa na mtoto pekee.
     
  11. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

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    Kwa nini unataka kujua? Ili iweje? Huoni kuwa ukijua hilo utaendelea kuchimba na mengine? Huoni kuwa maisha yako yatakuwa ya wasi wasi kila siku?
     
  12. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    Kwenye familia yangu huwezi kuoa msichana (legally!) kabla hajapata ujauzito!
     
  13. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Okada kama tuliambia tuwe wakweli nami nikamwambia ukweli wangu kwanini yeye aufiche ukweli wake?
     
  14. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

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    Baba_Enock kwahiyo kijana wako lazima ampe msichana mimba kwanza ndo aoe?je kama amempa mimba bahati mbaya na hakuwa na nia ya kumwoa huyo msichana?
     
  15. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Najua great thinkers hampendi ku generalize. Lakini mimi kwa life experience yangu kuna kabila fulani ni mabingwa wa kuficha kama wamezaa. I have like 5 cases same tribe.

    Kuna baba mmoja alioa mwanamke wa huko. Yeye akawa anajua yule mama ana mtoto mmoja wa kiume alomzaa kabla hawajaoana. Alikuja jua kuwa alikuwa na wawili siku huyo wa pili anafunga ndoa. Wakasema mama wa binti anyanyuke watu wakabaki vinywa wazi kwani siku zoote tulikuwa tunajua yule binti ni mdogo wake! Hata mumewe nusu atoe talaka ya uzeeni.

    Kuna dada mwingine same tribe tunafanya nae kazi watu wanasema ana mtoto mkubwa alimzaa akiwa form two. Lakini anafanya siri kweli kweli na aliolewa (ameachika sasa) sidhani hata kama huyo mumewe alimwambia.

    Nadhani wanahisi ukisema una mtoto utadoda. Lakini ki ukweli ni kwamba wanawanyima watoto haki zao za msingi. Yaani unakuta binti akipata mimba wako tayari wamfiche kijijini mpaka azae akirudi Dar hamna atayejua ana mtoto.

    But in most cases ni wale wanaopata mimba za utotoni
     
  16. p

    pointers JF-Expert Member

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    mtoto kazua jambo , penzi limekufilia mbali
     
  17. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

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    Nadhani ni vizuri kusema ukweli, kwa kuwa baadaye ni very costful. On the other hand, wewe unachunguza chunguza past ya mwenzako kwa nini? Kama una wasi wasi, umesikia nyepesi nyepesi, sawa, sio unakurupuka tu unaanza kuchunguza!
     
  18. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Manumbu that is another side of the coin.... Nakubali kua maneno yako yana ukweli
    Lakini bado naona dada alifanya hivyo tokana na kujua results zitakuaje...
     
  19. S

    SACoNa Member

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    hatari mojawapo ktk mapenzi ni uongo, umefanya vema
    njia nyingine ni kujaribu kutafuta mawasiliano ya ndugu zake uwaulize kisirisiri.
     
  20. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Unadhani ndugu watakwambia. Watu wana usiri wa hajabu. Wa kukwambia ukweli ni yeye mwenyewe.

     
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