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ni J2 njema tujenge ndoa zetu tena........

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by gfsonwin, Jun 10, 2012.

  1. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    wapendwa wana mmu. habari za jumapili? natumai ni njema sana kwani wengine mko kwenye sherehe za vipaimara na wengine mko na mechi ya spain na italy. yote ni heri tu katika kujipa raha.

    Leo nimekuja tena na mada hapa nataka tuidadavue kuhusu mahusiano yetu na wenzi wetu.
    Hivi ni kwanini wapenzi tunazoeana sana kiasi kwamba tunashindwa kabisa kudumisha mapenzi yetu? kwa nini inakuwepo dhana ya kuzoeana sana kuliko pitiliza kunakopelekea kuona mwenzi wangu ni mtu wa kawaida tu?

    mathalani mama/binti akishakaa na mwenzi wake baada ya muda hakuna tena hata kuflirt nae, akimtumia sms kama ni mchana basi ni ile ya kawaida tu ambayo haionyeshi kujali au haimuhamasishi mpenzi wako. Pia na wanume nao hivyo hivyo. kwanini?

    miye kungwi wenu kwa usukununu wangu nimegundua kuwa wanaotuibia wapenzi wetu wako makini sana mara zote anatuma sms kwa mpenzi kumbembeleza, kumsifia na wengine wanakumbushia hata mchezo walivyofaidi ili hali sisi tulioko ndani tumekaa kimya tunajua ni wangu tu, kwanini nimvizie na manati....lol jamani turudi nyuma tena tuanze kuweka vizuri mapenzi yetu.


    mwenye masikio na asikie neno hili.
     
  2. cartura

    cartura JF-Expert Member

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    mmh, mwalimu @work once again...; nakubaliana na wewe kabisa kwamba kuna kujenga mazoea na ku-take things for granted sana... mtu unaweza hata kumpa zawadi wala asionyeshe shukrani yeyote... it's like 'si ulipaswa kunipa tu'... vicheche na nyumba ndogo bila kusahau vidumu vina-capitalize sana kwenye hii weakness...
     
  3. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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  4. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    halafu sijui kwanini huwa hatuelimiki kabisa. Ukiuliza binti yeyote anayetembea na mume wa mtu atakwambia jinsi anavyo wajibika kwa yule bwana sms hata 50 kwa siku anatuma. siye tulioko ndani we tend to assume things to be easy and simple. hivi kweli mwenzi akitoka kwaajili ya busu alilokumbushiwa mchan na kabinti/kidumu chake utalalamika wakati wee kuandika tu sms ya i love you mkono ni mzito?
     
  5. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna mahala humu humu mmu nilisoma akiwa ni mpenzi wako kweli hainogi, inatakiwa ambae sie... lolz naona ugumu huja hapo.
     
  6. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    BAK hizi dedication kila siku n huku jf unatuma je mkeo umeshamtumia? leo ni siku ya kulea ndoa jamani. hebu dedicate kwa mkeo huko.
     
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  7. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    kwanni isinoge Neiwa .........?watu siku hz sms za xtrem kibao mtumie basi jibaraguze basi na wewe? lol kuibiwa kunauma sasa kama ndio mbinu na sisi tuapply hiyo.
     
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  8. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    hahahahah LOL! ni wimbo tu huo bana si dedication kwa mtu yeyote hapa jamvini....Ndoa ni ndoano zinataka kazi sana ili kuzifanikisha hasa katika miaka hii ukilinganisha na miaka ile ya Wazee wetu. Wengine wanafanikiwa pamoja na mikiki chungu nzima ndani ya ndoa na wengine hawafanikiwi.
     
  9. Neiwa

    Neiwa JF-Expert Member

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    mie sio mtaalam gfsonwin, nafanya tu kusoma comments za wadau. kama ni kweli ama uongo, sijui..
     
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  10. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    kesho nitamtumia msg, kila baada ya saa moja msg moja
     
  11. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    BADILI TABIA lakin umeaha kujiuliza ama kutafakari juu ya hili? yaani kuna watu wengine hata zawadi tu akipewa hakuna asante wala nini wakati kuna mtu akipewa leso tu anaikumbuka milele na kuheshimu. ifike mahali tuache kuzoena tuish kama marafiki katika mahusiano yetu
     
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  12. cartura

    cartura JF-Expert Member

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    na mimi nikuulize kitu gfsonwin (ingawa wewe si mmoja wao teh teh teh), hivi yale maneno matamu in form of 'intimate' flirts yanayomwagwa humu ndani yangeelekezwa angalau siku moja moja kwa spouses, mahusiano yasingeboreshwa kweli? maana nyumbani mtu kanuna siku nzima, akiingia JF anajimwaga mwanzo mwisho...
     
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  13. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Bado nitakuwa palepale.Unapovutwa na mwili wa mtu na kuanzisha uhusiano au ndoa haya ndo matokeo yake.Narudia kusema tena haya ni matokeo ya kutafuta mwenza/mpenzi kwa vigezo vya mwilini visivyokua na mashiko kama rangi,pesa,kimo n.k.Unapoanzisha mahusiano kwa kigezo cha ubinadamu hauwezi kumchoka wala kumzoea.Wewe unampima na kumwangalia kwa ubinadamu wake sio,rangi au hips,rangi au hips zinapofade ndipo matatizo ya kuchokana yanapokuja!
     
  14. Michael Amon

    Michael Amon Verified User

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    Dah!!! Isee mada tamu hii hadi nimejilamba vidole. Ni kweli kabisa usemayo gfsonwin. Watu wengi baada ya kuingia katika ndoa husahau kuwapa wapenzi wao mambo motomoto na mapenzi ambayo alikuwa akimpa kipindi cha nyuma kabla hawajaoana. Hali hii inaweza kusababisha kupungua kwa mapenzi kati yao na kutoa mwanya wa watu wengine kuweza kuingilia na kuharibu ndoa yao. Kwa utafiti niloufanya mimi nimebaini kuwa hali hii inasababishwa na mambo mawili makuu;
    • Kujisahau - Hili ni jambo kuu la kwanza ambalo linasababisha hali hii kutokea. Wengi mara baada ya kuingia katikaa ndoa hujisahau kana kwamba wamefika na hakuna yoyote anayeweza kutenganisha ndoa yao. Pia majukumu ya uzazi na kazi huchangia pia kujisahau hali ambayo hutoa mwanya mkubwa wa mmoja wapo kuweza kutoka nje ya ndoa na kwenda kutafuta kile ambacho ulikuwa unampa zamani na mabacho anakimiss kwa sasa. Nadhani na hii pia hutokana na hii dhana ya kuogopana kwa sababu wengi wetu baada ya kuingia katika ndoa ule uwazi na ukweli mbao tulikuwa nao kabla ya kuingia katika ndoa unaondoka na kuendekeza uoga wa kumuogopa kumueleza mwenzi wako pale anapokosea au kujisahau na badala yake kuamua kutoka nje na kuhangaika kutafuta kile ambacho unakihitaji wakati kama ungekuwa muwazi kitu hicho hicho ungeweza kukipata kwa mume wako.
    • Kuchokana - Hali hii pia huweza kutokea pale wanandoa wanapoanza kuchokana hasa kwa wanawake ambao ambao mara nyingi hukosa mapenzi ya dhati kutoka kwa waume zao hasa pale baada ya kujifungua ambayo husababisha kupoteza umbile lake la ki usichana la zamani alilokuwa nalo ambalo likuwa likimvutia mume wake na kuwa umbo jipya la kimama ambalo kiukweli wanaume wengi huwa hatulipendi. Kuchokana huku kunsababishwa na interest au mambo ambayo yalikuvutia kwa mpenzi wako kabla hamjaona. Mfano: Kama kilichokuvutia kutoka kwa mpenzi wako hadi ukampenda ni umbo lake bila shaka akija kulipoteza mapenzi kwake yatapungua kwa sababu kile kilichokuwa kinaudatisha moyo wako hakipo tena.
     
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  15. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    sasa Young_Master hapa pana jambo la maana sana umelizungumzia kuhusu kuchokana..........ni sawa labda umbo la kimama limeniharibu na kuwa baya, au hata wewe limekuharibu ukawa mbaya. sasa kama katikati yetu tukawa na desturi ya kuambiana maneno matamu kila mara pasipo kujali hayo tena yenye kuchochea hisisa za mapenzi unafikir ni rahisi sana kwa wewe kuondoa mawazo yako juu ya mpenzi wako?

    kuna kitu ambacho mimi nimekianyia utafiti, % kubwa ya watu niliwah kusuluhisha ndoa zao kuna mtu kaingilia katikati. na mara nyingi sana kati ya ndoa 10 mathalan 8 kati yake ni wanaume ndioa wenye mtu wa pemben na wanawake ni 2 tu, hapa palinifanya nianze darasa la tofauti kabisa na wababa.

    huwez ukaamini mara zote nikiongea na mbaba privately kwann anatoka nje anakwambia sitamania lakin huyu binti ananizid maarifa. kila mara sms nzuri za mahaba mpaka najikuta nadindisha. ukweli niliingiwa na hofu sana juu ya maisha yetu sisi akuna mama nikaona jinsi ambavyo tumejiachia na kubweteka na kazi za kulea tu pasi kutafuta pia amani ya nyumbani kwako. hakuna uchawi katika hili mchawi ni sisi wenyewe wanandoa.
     
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  16. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    Eiyer nisawa kabisa kuwa maisha ndivyo yanavyo paswa kuwa kwamba tupende kwa dhati. na hli halina mjadala kwamba utapenda kwa dhati kabisa.

    nikuulize mfano juzi dada mamuu aliandika comment juu ya kuchungulia mshedede ukitoka na kuingia kunako wakati wa tendo na aka justfy kabisakwamba kwake yy ile ndio starehe kubwa. unakumbuka wewe ulicomment nini? kuwa umeskia baridi. mwili mzima, pia kuna siku uliwa kuniuliza nimevaa nite dress nikakujibu kuwa ndiyo, na kukuelezea jins ilivyokaa, unakumbuka ulicomment nini? bora nimeiona hii post asbh ningeiona usiku ingenoharibia usiku wangu.

    based on these things eiyer maisha yana tricky sana. kama tu maandsh yanakufanya unadata basi kuna mwingine ukikutana naye tu waweza kujikuta umeanguka dhambini. kuna watu wanamvuto acha kabisa na hapa siyo uzuri huu bali ni mvuto tu ukimuona tu lazima utamani kwenda naye kunako 6*6.

    mtu wa aina hii iwapo usipo kuwa makin waweza kujikuta umeanguka dhambini na yeye huwa ana maneno matamu hadi balaa.
     
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  17. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    umeoina hiyo eeh! lkn hii kwa sisi wana physikia tunaita minimum factor of safety kama mwandisi utakuwa umenisoma. ile some flirting huwa ni kali sana best lakin ndipo mtu anapotolea uvivu wake au wengine wapo wasubirie hayo maneno matam wakacopy na kupaste kwa spouses wao.
     
  18. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    Lakini pia wana mmu tusisahau kuwa mapenzi ya nje yananoga sana kwakua huyu muusika na mpenzi wake they dont meet oftenly, wao watakutana once in a week, ila kila siku wanabembeleza na sms kali na tamu. so wakikutana kila siku ni wapya ni stresses, hakuna kununiana ni full shangwe tu na hata game inakuwa surperb , kwani kila mmoja ana hamu na mwenziye na wamedumu wk nzima wakinyegeshana.

    ila sisi tulioko ndani tunaonana kila siku, makosa tunatendeana wakati huo huo wavivu wa kunyegeshana lolest tunategemea nn? tujali hata kuwa innovative zaid basi tuyafanye mahusino kuwa bora zaid tutoke siku moja moja twende tukalale hotelin just tufanye ya kwetu tu, tupeane raha ili hao wanaomndea wenzi wetu washindwe.

    siku muanze menzio mkumbushie basi hata kalekamchezo kama kalikuwa katam au pale alipokufikisha mwambie uone jinsi atakavyo badilika....wanao toka mchana maofisi kwenda gesti ukiwauliza sababu wata kwambia. wengine wamenyegeshana hadi basi sasa inabidi waibe dk chache waende kwa faragha wamalize hamu yao. akirudh ome mwenzio mwepesii wala hujui kumbe kesha jisevia muda mrefu tu.
     
  19. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Wakati najibu yale majibu yote mawili sikuwa siriouz,ila labda nikuambie jambo moja mpaka mwili wako univute kufanya ngono jua nimeamua.hivyo hayo mambo ya mwili kwangu hayana nafasi kabisa.Huu ni ukweli na kwenye hili niko SIRIAZ!
     
  20. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    umesema vizuri sana Eiyer, hapo kwenye red believe it or not unaweza kuamua kufanya hivyo kwa watu wengi utakavyo tena hakuna kitu cha kijinga kama moyo kwa maamuzi ya kipuuzi kabisa na akili ikatii, maamuzi ya moyo au nafsi yako.

    Ila pia ukiamua kwa dhati, na kuona kuwa napata kila nitakacho na siboreki na haya maishsa yangu ya ndoa. you can.
     
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