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Ndoa niliyosimamia inanishinda: naomba msaada wa wana JF

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Zogwale, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 15, 2009
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    Nilisimamia ndoa ambayo imedumu kwa miaka 15 kwa sasa. Ni ndoa njema na sikivu. Tatizo kubwa ambalo nimekuwa nikilipata kama msimamizi wa ndoa ile ni kutoridhishana katika tendo la ndoa. Mke huwa yuko down sana kimapenzi, na si kwamba ana bwana nje, bali ni kwamba huwa akiwa katika tendo la ndoa akishamaliza round moja basi anapoa kabisa na hataki tena kabisa kuendelea. Na hapa itamchukua muda mrefu (wiki na kuendelea) ndipo awe tena na hashiki/tamaa ya tendo la ndoa. Kitendo hiki kinamuumiza sana mume na kunakuwa na kutoelewana kwa jambo hilo. Nimesuluhisha, na mke anasikitika sana kwa hali yake hiyo. Wamepata ushauri lakini kila akijaribu bado tatizo liko pale pale.

    Nimeona hapa jamvini tunashirikishana matatizo na kupata ushauri. Nakaribisha ushauri mwema na wenye nidhamu ili kumsaidia hawa ndugu waweze kuishi maisha mema, ya upendo kwa ndoa yao na pia kuweza kuwasaidia wengine hapa au ndugu na marafiki zetu ambao wana tatizo hili. Asanteni.
     
  2. NGULI

    NGULI JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 15, 2009
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    1. Huyo mwanamke anafanya kazi gani?
    2. Je alishawahi kubakwa?
    3. Mume wake ni askari?...analazimisha...haya nyumaz geuka..moja mbili lala chalii
    mbelee tembea....
    4. Je wanafanyaga mazoezi?

    Ukipata hayo majibu tatizo limekwisha kabisa.
     
  3. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Mkuu Nguli,

    Asante kwa maswali yako ya msingi.
    1. Mke ameajiriwa, ni ofisa katika wakala wa serikali.

    2. Sifahamu kama alishabakwa. Ila sidhanii hivyo.

    3. Mume wake naye ni mfanyakazi wa taasisi ya serikali, ana nafasi nzuri sana.

    4. Mazoezi si sana, ila mke ni mtu wa shughuli sana, yaani anafanya kazi hata nyumbani, yaaani ni mchapa kazi. Huwa ananifurahisha sana kwa namna anavyo handle familia yake.

    Kwa kifupi ni dedicated couples, na ni wacha Mungu sana. Tatizo ni hapo tu mkuu.

    Labda basi upate kunifafanulia majibu ya hayo maswali, nami yatanisaidia nikikutana nao tena.
     
  4. Triplets

    Triplets JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 15, 2009
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    Je wana watoto wadogo? bado wanaendelea na uzazi? njia wanayotumia kwa contraception ilishawahi kushindwa?

    nilishaongea na mwanamke wa hivyo, kumbe yeye tatizo lake lilikuwa kila wakati wa tendo wa tendo la ndoa yeye anakuwa amejawa na wasiwasi wa kubeba mimba nyingine...
     
  5. NGULI

    NGULI JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 15, 2009
    Joined: Mar 31, 2008
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    1. Kazi nyingi zinakata stimu ya tendo la ndoa linahitaji nguvu pia na mtu usiwe mchovu ili ku enjoy kwa maelezo yako mama anachoka sana mzee amsaidie au amwongezee house girl na siyo house boy.

    2. Kama aliwahi kubakwa labda mke wake ana tatizo la kisaikolojia na hajapata matibabu sahihi bado. Chunguzeni hili kwa kina na kama mumewake ana mwingilia kwa style ya mbakaji au anafanana na mmbaki.....

    3. Unajua unavyozidi kupanda cheo ndio jinsi mawazo mengi yanakuja kichwani mara mamieadi mara ma vikao mara masafari mara mishahara ya surbodinates inasumbua unakuta ukirudi home wew ni mtu wa jazba tu....na magonjwa kama kisukari yanakunyemelea.

    4. Mazoezi ni muhimi kwa vile yanakusaidia mzunguko wa damu unakuwa costant na unakuwa na hamu ya tendo husika na ninavyojua mama zetu mazoezi landa awe ana ukimwi.
     
  6. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 15, 2009
    Joined: Jul 10, 2008
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    Asante Mkuu.

    Mtoto wao mdogo ana umri wa miaka minne. Wa kwanza ni 14 ila kuna wengine wawili sina umri wao vizuri (mmoja anaweza kuwa 11 na mwingne 7).

    Ninavyofahamu huwa wanatumia kondom maana wanaogopa njia ningine za uzazi madhara yake. Na kwa kuwa ni wakristu sana huwa hawataki kabisa kusikia habari za njia nyingineyo. Mume wake anasema kuwa tangu walipooana ambapo walikuwa hawahitaji kinga yoyote kwani walikuwa wanatafuta mtoto wao kwa kwanza hali ilikuwa hivi hivi tu. Nakumbuka mwezi mmoja baada ya ndoa yao mume alishaanza kulalamika na tukamwambia labda ni hofu na tumwache kwanza binti atazoea. Unaua tena unapooa halafu una shauku ya mambo haya, unajua tena ndoa changa, tatizo pale pale.
     
  7. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 15, 2009
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    Duh! hapa nimebaunsi. Nimewaachian akina Nguli na wenzake wenye ndoa zenye furaha na amani
     
  8. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 15, 2009
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    Mkuu Nguli,

    Nitaendelea kuwapa ushauri wako, hasa mazoezi. Pia nitafanya upekuzi kidogo wa huyu mama nipate background yake. Vinginevyo sielewi kama kuna wanawake by nature hawapendi tendo la ndoa.

    Kinachonishangaza ni kuwa ndoa hii ni ya upendo na mfano, na wamesimamia pia ndoa nyingi tu. Ni wanyofu sana, yaani wana sifa zote za ndoa njema, hasa uvumilivu maana mume inabidi avumilie akimwombea mkewe abadilike. Vinginevyo, ungekuta jamaa ana wanawake wengine. Nimemchunguza sana hadi ofisini na kwingineko, jamaa ana record safi kabisa na huwa anajivunia sana mke wake. Tatizo ni pale tu. Ila sasa malalamiko ni lazima yawepo.
     
  9. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 15, 2009
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    Peleleza kama mama/mke alikeketwa. Kuna tatizo na wanawake waliokeketwa. Halafu tafuta/tafiti tabia za waliokeketwa uone kama zinaoana na za shemeji yako.
     
  10. Zogwale

    Zogwale JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 15, 2009
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    Sidhani kama amekeketwa. Jamaa angeniambia. Pia mke wake hajatoka katika makabila yanayokeketa wanawake.

    Pia tufafanulie zaidi tabia za waliokeketwa. Hapa tunaeleweshana mkuu ili na wengine wapata kufahamu madhara ya ukeketaji na wawe mabalozi wazuri kupinga ukeketaji.
     
  11. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 16, 2009
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    It happens, lazima tukumbuke kuwa kuna watu wamezaliwa na low sexuality! kuna watu sex siyo important au kwa sababu za makuzi na hofu waliyojengewa kuhusu sex wakati wa ukuaji wao. I sill think ni psychological problem. lakini kwa upande mwingine jamaa naye inabidi atafute namna ya kucope na mkewe ili waendane. Kma ameweza kumanage for 15 years ambayo ndiyo ilikuwa active years sexualy, hatashindwa kwa sasa. Baba ajitahidi kumwelewa mkewe na kuikubali hali hiyo kama wamejeribu option nyinginezo.
    Nawashauri wachukue vacation ya three days away to a cool place, wakae na ku-rediscover each other, yaani katika three days hizo wafanye foreplay tu bila sex hadi siku ya mwisho kabisa ndo wamalizie na sex. Naweza kuelezea the whole process but in pm if necessary ili kuwasaaidia ndani ya hizo three days, it might help.
     
  12. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Dec 16, 2009
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    Kidogo naweza changia, kondom ni sawa na ubakaji. Unajua sometimes wanawake tukikaribia siku zetu au kumaliza huwa hatuna hamu yakufanya tendo, imgine huna hamu ya kufanya na mtu anakuja na condom inakuwaje kasheshe.

    Pili huyo bwana nafikiri huwa hamwandai mkewe kisaikolojia ili awe fully involved kwenye tendo, nayo pia inaweza mwathiri mama. waende vituo vya afya wafundishwe jinsi gani ya kuhesabu wasipate mimba na bwana aanze kufanya tendo la ndoa bila condom nafikiri watafanikiwa + msaada wa Doctor Nguli. Nimependa ushauri wako na mimi pia umenisaidia.

    Thx
     
  13. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Dec 16, 2009
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    Unamaanisha Low sex drive??? hii ni kweli kama sex drives zao sio compatible...mmoja anapenda sana mwingine anapimia kama dawa basi kutakuwa na friction... but liker u said 15 yrs down the line the marriage shd not crumble... wacha tungoje wataalamu walete mapoint hapa! Nguli ndio mtaalamu namba wan! Senksi kula!
     
  14. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 16, 2009
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    Wamama waliopata balaa la kukeketwa huwa wanachukua muda mrefu kupata stimu, na akisha pata bao moja ni kazi kubwa sana kumrudisha kwa bao la pili,inaweza kuchukua siku nyingi kidogo.
     
  15. Kilbark

    Kilbark JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 16, 2009
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    What about clitoris? Hadn't she engaged in FGM during her childhood? Sorry if it's sounds too personal.
     
  16. Lowenstern

    Lowenstern Member

    #16
    Dec 16, 2009
    Joined: Dec 27, 2008
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    hello!!!
    my advice is simple and clear....
    kwanza huyo mwanaume anajenga mazingira ya kumfanya mwanamke ahitaji kufanya mapenzi? coz kuna binadamu huwa na tufauti za mahitaji katika mapenzi na hisia tofauti...nadhani Huyo mwanaume anahitaji elimu ya kumfanya mwanamke wake awemhitaji sio kupandana...jaribu kukaa na huyo jamaa na muangalie labda tatizo na matayarisho kwa huyo bibie...mtoto lazima umwonyehe pipi aitamani then ndo umpe...
     
  17. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 16, 2009
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  18. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 16, 2009
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    Hii ndio kukeketwa!!!
     
  19. j

    jsawere New Member

    #19
    Dec 16, 2009
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    Inabidi usiwe mshamba huyo manzi ni matayarisho tu,mtoto huyo anahitaji maandalizi anaweza kwenda round hata nne usiku mmoja,naomba nikupe contacts zangu nikufundishe 0762 305423
     
  20. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Dec 16, 2009
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    Huyu mke Pombe anatumia?
    Mwambie ajaribu Bilauri ya Valuu moja tu pindi Mr. anapotaka.
     
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