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Ndoa ni watu wawili, si kundi la watu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by sulphadoxine, Oct 18, 2011.

  1. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 18, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    SIRI moja kubwa ya kuwa na ndoa imara, ni wanandoa wenyewe kujiona kuwa wao ndiyo wenye deni la kuimarisha uhusiano wao.
    Ndiyo kusema kuwa kila siku katika maisha yako, unapaswa kutafuta mbinu za kufanya ili uhusiano wenu uendelee kuwa mzuri.
    Ndoa si historia. Kwamba useme: �Aaah bwana, ndoa ya mama na baba haikuwa nzuri, kwa hiyo hata yangu itakuwa mbaya.�
    Cha msingi ni wewe na mwenzako kukaa chini na kuondoa kasoro zenu. Kila mtu akae na kuona kuwa analo deni la kumfurahisha mwenzi wake.
    Siku moja nilikuwa napita Sinza, nikamsikia dada mmoja akijibizana na mwenzi wake kwenye simu: �Aaah, kwani wewe unataka muda huu niwe wapi? Haya basi, niko chooni.�
    Kwa kutoa kauli ile, ilimlazimu dada mmoja aliyekuwa karibu naye, kumuasa kuwa aache kuendelea kuzungumza vile.
    Watu wengi wanapenda kuwa na ndoa nzuri, lakini wao wenyewe sio wenye kuwafanyia mazuri wenzi wao.
    Ni jambo la kushangaza, unaweza kuwa na ndoa nzuri wakati wewe mwenyewe unachangia kuiharibu ndoa yako kwa kauli chafu?
    Jitahidi kujifunza kuzungumza kauli nzuri kwa mwenzi wako. Hata kama labda amekosea jambo fulani, ni vizuri kuzungumza naye kwa upande mkaondoa kasoro yenu.
    Hakikisha hamzozani wala kutukanana. Siku zote waza namna ya kuujenga uhusiano wenu, kwa kutendeana mambo mema, sio kutukanana.
    Yawezekana unaziona ndoa nzuri za wenzio, nawe unaweza kuwa nayo. Cha msingi ni kuwa makini sana na ulimi wako. Ndoa haijengwi kwa matofali, bali hujengwa kwa ulimi na matendo mema.
    Lakini lililo la msingi zaidi ni kuzingatia kuwa hakuna mtu aliyezaliwa kwa ajili ya kuiimarisha ndoa yako, ni wewe mwenyewe unapaswa kufanya jitihada hizo.
    Hata kama ndoa ya baba yako au jirani yako ni mbaya, hiyo si dalili kwamba ndoa zote ni mbaya. Ila ni kwa sababu tu kuna makosa wanayafanya, ndiyo maana wako hivyo walivyo.
    Wewe anza leo kuchukua hatua, utashangaa kwa namna ambavyo utakuwa na ndoa nzuri. Katika maisha hakuna lisilowezekana, azimia kisha chukua hatua, hakika utafanikiwa.
    Ninachotaka kusema katika mada hii ni umuhimu wa kujifunza zaidi. Ndugu elimu haina mwisho, unapoingia kwenye ndoa isiwe mwisho wa kila kitu, isiwe kwamba ndio mwisho wa kujifunza mambo, la hasha.
    Unapaswa kuendelea kutafuta mbinu za kuwasaidia ili wewe na mwenzako muweze kuwa na ndoa nzuri.

    MAMBO MENGI YA KUJIFUNZA:

    Katika ndoa kuna mambo mengi muhimu, lakini mojawapo ni kujua mwenzi wako anapenda nini. Kwa mfano wanaume wengi wanapenda wake zao wawe na zifa zifuatazo;
    -Utayari katika mahusiano;
    Unaweza kushangaa, lakini ni ukweli kuwa tafiti nyingi zinaonyesha kuwa watu wasio kwenye ndoa wanafanya tendo la ndoa mara nyingi zaidi kuliko walio kwenye ndoa, ingawa wana ndoa wengi wanalala kitanda kimoja.
    Aidha walio kwenye ndoa wanafanya tendo hilo kwa muda mfupi zaidi kuliko kabla hawajaoana au wale ambao ni wachumba.
    Kama wewe uko kwenye ndoa kwa hakika utakubaliana na mimi juu ya hili.
    Ziko sababu nyingi, lakini mojawapo kubwa ni ndoa zenyewe zilizo nyingi kutokuwa nzuri, wanaume wengine wanarudi nyumbani wamelewa chakari, wanatoa harufu ya pombe wachaaa, mke analala tu ndani afanye nini, lakini kwa kweli ni mateso.
    Lakini wakati wa uchumba, wengi wanakwenda kwa wapenzi wao wakiwa hawajalewa.

    NDIO UKWELI WENYEWE:

    Kimsingi, wanandoa kila mmoja anatarajia kuona mwenzi wake anamjali, anamsikiliza nk. Ili kufanikiwa hili, inatakiwa wanandoa wenyewe wawe na akili.
    Eeeh bwana maana wanandoa wengine wanasikitisha, unaweza kuona tayari mtu yuko na mwingine, lakini kwa sababu ni mpumbavu anazungumzia habari za mpenzi wa zamani. Je wewe uko hivi?
    Watu wengi wanaozungumzia au kusifia mambo ya wapenzi wao wa zamani ni dalili kuwa wapumbavu.
    Hali kadhalika kuna watu wako kwenye ndoa, lakini wanajali zaidi watu wengine wa nje au kusikiliza zaidi wazazi badala ya wenzi wao.
    Wanaume au wanawake walio hivi ni wapumbavu, maana hata katika vitabu vitakatifu imeandikwa wazi kuwa �utaacha wazazi wako na kuungana na mtu mwingine�.�
    Ndoa nzuri inawezekana. Kinachohitajika ni kwa wanandoa kushuka�eeeh bwana wengine jambo ni dogo tu lakini analikuza, hataki kusamehe. Sio vizuri hivyo.
    Fikiria jinsi ya kuimarisha ndoa yako, acheni kufichana fedha, acheni kutesana, acheni kufanyiana yale ambayo wewe ukifanyiwa hutajisikia vizuri.
    Mwingine anasema nakupenda, kumbe ana lundo la wapenzi wengine, acha kuwa hivyo ndugu. Fanya jitihada kuipa uhai ndoa yako, iwe paradise ili badala ya kuogopa nyumba yako, uwe unatamani kurudi nyumbani.
    Eeeh bwana, wengine wanaona ni bora wakae maofisini hadi usiku hata kama hawana kazi kwa sababu nyumbani hakuna amani ya dhati, hakuna mapenzi, zaidi ya karaha, hakuna kinachomvutia.
    Mume badilika, mke badilika, penda kujifunza mambo zaidi.
     
  2. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 18, 2011
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    Ubarikiwe sulphadoxine!

    Natamani uendelee kutujuvya zaidi!
     
  3. kuberwa

    kuberwa JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 18, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
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    eeh bwana eeh, tunashukuru kwa darsa! Umenikumbusha Prof mmoja ilikuwa anakaa ofice hadi late evening akitoka hapo ni bar hadi mida ya saa 5,6 had 7 hivi.. Na kesho alfajir keshafika ofisini! Kumbe ndo sababu eeh? Hope yangu itakuwa paradice
     
  4. TUNTEMEKE

    TUNTEMEKE JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 18, 2011
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    asante mkuu hii ni darasa tosha keep it up mwl
     
  5. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 18, 2011
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    Nimeipenda..
     
  6. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 18, 2011
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    Kwa wanaume inatakiwa tupunguze ubabe nakujiona sisi ndio kila kitu,hii dhana ni mbaya sana kwa kiasi kikubwa inachangia kuvunjika kwa ndoa nyingi,mkeo utamfanyia vituko vingi sana,lakini akija kugeuka na kuanza kufanya yeye tunakuwa wakali na hapo hapo tunachukua jukumu la kutembeza mkong'oto.

    Ndoa ni upendo.
     
  7. bulldoza

    bulldoza Senior Member

    #7
    Oct 18, 2011
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    sulperd asante kwa makala nzuri....ila sidhani kama umeitendea haki hii mada iliyobebwa humu ndani...uliposema ndoa ni ya watu wawili nilijua ni mambo ya mawifi na wakwe kumbe duuuh ni darasa safi sana ila wakati mwingine ipe heading inayostahili..thanks
     
  8. feis buku

    feis buku JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 18, 2011
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    kitchen party!! kina mama mko wapiii!!!
     
  9. BlackBerry

    BlackBerry JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 18, 2011
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    kuna watu wanapenda ligi sana kwenye mahusiano, shauri yao wasipokusikiza, kina bb wamekaa standby wanawasubiria tu lol
     
  10. Roulette

    Roulette JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 18, 2011
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    Asante kwa ushahuri
     
  11. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #11
    Oct 18, 2011
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    hata wewe umeona eh!
     
  12. bombu

    bombu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 18, 2011
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    I Loved the theme, the content and the massage it delivers. Hope wengi tumejifunza, thnx sulphad, this is really great.
     
  13. T

    Topical JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 18, 2011
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    Ndoa ni zaidi ya wawili mkuu

    Ndoa ni community and enviroment

    Ni vizuri ukaweka hizo equation zote katika ndoa (whole sum)

    Ukianza kuondoa matatizo yanaanza maana hiyo inaitwa selfishness
     
  14. God bell

    God bell JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 18, 2011
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    Imekaa mkao mzuri. Inaonekana Mwalimu wako wa insha shuleni alikuwa makini sana.
     
  15. Meritta

    Meritta JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 18, 2011
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    imekaa poa asante
     
  16. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 19, 2011
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    Na hizi ligi ndio zinazo tukosti seemu kubwa kwa wote wababa na wamama.
     
  17. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 19, 2011
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    Swala la ndoa watu wengi wanadhani ni kwenda kanisani au msikitini na baadaye kwenye tafrija,kumbe sio,Ndoa inahitaji uvumilivu mkubwa sana,ndio maana leo hii watu wanasherekea miaka 50 ya ndoa hadi 60.
    Kwa kizazi cha sasa au ndoa nyingi ambazo zinagungwa kipindi hiki ni vigumu sana kufikisha hata miaka 10 ya ndoa.
     
  18. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 19, 2011
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    Bulldoza ebu jaribu kuipa heading nyingine tuone itakuaje,
    Ili uweze kudumu katika ndoa maombi nayo yanahitajika,maana sisi kama binadamu hatuna uwezo,lazima tumtegemee mungu katika hili,tukienda kinyume tu tumekwisha.
     
  19. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 19, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    Wiki iliyo pita nimeshuhudia jubilei ya miaka 60 ya ndoa,kwa kifupi ili acha mshangao kwa watu wengi walio udhuria hiyo sherehe,ambayo ilianzia kanisani na mwisho nyumbani ambako kulifanyika tafrija fupi.

    Mzee alipewa nafasi ya kutoa nasaha,aliongea maneno ambayo yalinigusa na hatimaye machozi yakaanza kudondoka taratibu sana,na si mimi tu nilio guswa na hayo maneno ambayo mzee aliyaongea ni wengi maana kimya kilitawala kwa muda wote ambao alikuwa anaongea.
     
  20. sulphadoxine

    sulphadoxine JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 19, 2011
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    Tutaendelea kujuzana zaidi siku zinavyozidi kwenda kwa maana vijana wengi wa kisasa wanafikiri ndoa ni mchezo tu,kumbe sivyo ilivyo,kuna great thinker aliandika"ndoa si makaratasi bali ndoa ni upendo"
     
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