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Ndoa na watoto wa ndugu ni mtihani

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by nyarngato, May 2, 2012.

  1. n

    nyarngato Member

    #1
    May 2, 2012
    Joined: Apr 11, 2012
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    Umezaa watoto wako wawili ukiamini wanatosha kwa maisha ya sasa. Mmeo kwa sasa ndio mkubwa kwao na pia wanakaka yao ambaye alikuwa ni mkubwa kwake akafariki na kuacha mototo mmoja wa kuime jina MZEE, mama MZEE aliondoka na mwanae baada ya mmewake kufariki. Mama MZEE baada ya kufiwa na mme alienda akaolewa tena na mme mwingine, na huyu mme mwigine hakumpenda MZEE. Hivyo MZEE alikuwa katika maisha ya shida na manyanyaso na haswa akoishia kuwa mtukutu, shuleni hafiki na pia anaudokozi wa hela na vitu. Basi yule Mama Mzee akaona huyo MZEE amemshinda na pia anamgombanisha sana kwenye ndoa yake mpya, akamleta kwetu sisi ambako ndio kwa baba yake mdogo.Sasa mtihani unakuja baba mdogo yeye anafakazi mkoani familia inakaa Dar, MZEE ameachwa familia Dar, anamiaka 11 umri moja na mwanao mkubwa, lkn mtukutu, mdokozi, hajui kusoma na mmemuandikisha shule za kanumba amegoma hafiki shule anataka aende English media kama watoto wako wengine, mmemuandikisha tuition pia hafiki mda wa tuition anaenda kucheza mbali na nyumbani, Majirani washaanza kulalamika michezo yake na watoto wa kike sio mizuri.Mmeo kila ukijaribu kumeleza matatizo ya mototo anagoma anakwambia nyie wanawake mna maneno sana. Sie kwetu hakuna watoto watukutu kwa hiyo hayo maneno unamsingizia mtoto. Mtoto weekend ambayo baba yake yupo ni mstaarabu ajabu, kila saa ameshika kalamu na karatasi anajifunza aeiou.Yamemkuta rafiki yangu mmoja
     
  2. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 2, 2012
    Joined: Dec 27, 2009
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    Kama hakuamini, mwambie akupe mamlaka ya kufanya on your own terms. Meaning utamfundisha adabu kama vile ni mtoto wako ndio anaharibika, kufundisha huko kutashirikisha somekind of punishment otherwise ulezi utakuwa mgumu.

    Huyo mtoto ni product ya broken family na itakuwa ni tabu kwako kumweka kwenye mstari sawa
     
  3. n

    nyarngato Member

    #3
    May 2, 2012
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    At some point mtu unafikiria .. I would like to help lkn there is no way of helping na kama mama mtu ameshindwa kwa nini mimi ndio huo mzigo uniangukie
     
  4. JS

    JS JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 2, 2012
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    Ni hivi: why on earth nimlelee mtu mwanae wakati yeye yupo hai? Ingekuwa mama mzee naye kafariki au ni mgonjwa sana kiasi kwamba hawezi kumudu kulea mwanae hapo sawa lakini mtu yuko mzima tena anafurahia ndoa yake mpya halafu aniletee mie nimlelee mtoto wake tena huyo mtukutu hivo? Pangechimbika na lazima kingeeleweka. Huyo mke lazima awe mkali mzee arudi kwa mama yake la sivyo ni kuleteana ugomvi baina yake na mume wake hata kama mtoto ni wa marehemu kaka yake. Mama huyo awe mkali mama mzee achukue mwanae asiwe soft on this matter.
     
  5. matron

    matron Member

    #5
    May 2, 2012
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    Miaka kumi na moja aeiou?huyo bamdogo naye anaona hiyo?kama anang'ang'ana mpeleke boarding school akawehukie mbele kwa mbele tena shule ambayo inaweza vitoto vya aina hiyo.otherwise mamaye awajibike.kwanza inakuwaje mama mzee anyanyase mtoto wake mwenyewe? kama ni matumizi mpelekeeni hukohuko yanini mwenzangu ukose raha na mumeo kisa?angekua yatima full sawa ila sio hivyo
     
  6. mtotowamjini

    mtotowamjini JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 2, 2012
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    watoto wa ndg wanaharibugi sana ndoa hasa kama ukute mume kafungwa haoni matatizo ya watoto wa ndg zake na mke nae sio mvumilivu...bt watoto kama wamekubali kukaa ndani ya nyumba then inabidi wafuate sheria za hiyo nyumba la sivo humo ndani kunakua hapakaliki
     
  7. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 2, 2012
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    mama MZEE kamtelekeza mzee sbb ya kulinda ndoa yake kakurushia MA MDOGO mzigo ukuvunjie ndoa yako, mrudishe kwa mama yake huyo akiamua ampeleke segerea akafundishwe adabu kama yy kamshindwa
     
  8. n

    nyarngato Member

    #8
    May 2, 2012
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    Mama Mzee yeye anakisingizio eti yeye akusoma... na kwa sasa anaona umuhimu wa elimu hivyo Mzee kukaa kwa baba yake mdogo kutamsaidia kupata elimu....
    Lkn the point ni kwamba ni too late sana kumnyoosha mzee aingie kwenye mfumo wa kiuanafunzi na kumuondoa ujinga ukizingatia Mzee ameshajua hela alikuwa analoa sana na kuuza samaki pindi yupo kwa mama yake kigoma

    Tena asikuambie mtu watoto waaina hii wanavichwa vizito fundisha shule hawaelewi
     
  9. PetCash

    PetCash JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 2, 2012
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    Kumlea huyo Mzee ni kazi nzito hasa, kwa hiyo baba na mama wa familia wanatakiwa wakae chini wafanye maamuzi na lao liwe moja(other wise nothing is coming out of there well-iwe ndoa yao au maisha ya mzee).
    1) Waamue moja watamlea mzee ama wamrudishe kwa mama yake
    2) kama watamlea wamchukulie kisaikolojia kama mtoto wao kwanza, hii inakusaidia kuwa na uwezo wa kwenda depths & depths ili kumsaidia mtoto.
    3) Its late but not too late kumuendeleza kimaadili na kielimu, anza kumuheshimu na kumchukulia positive. Saa nyingine inabidi umkalishe chini uongee naye kwa upole as if ni mkubwa mwenzio umuelezee umuhimu wa maadili, elimu na umpe picha ya maisha yake yatakavyokuwa endapo ataendelea kuwa alivyo
    4) Muwe mnamuombea sana ili abadilike (kama ni mwanao wa kumzaa ungemuombea sana). Do that kwa huyu mtoto pia.
    5) Itachukuwa muda kubadilika ila kidogokidogo atabadilika tu (trust me watu hubadilika when the proper procedures are applied) kwa hiyo uwe mvumilivu. (kwa kweli watu wengi huenda lenghts of tolerance kwa watoto wao lakini wa watu! ni wachache wenye moyo huo).
    6) mwanamama jifunge kanga kiunoni deal naye atabadilika tu-usiwe mvivu na baadaye atakushukuru sana. Na anaweza kuja kukusaidia kuliko hata mwanao wa kumzaa!
     
  10. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 2, 2012
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    kama umemwambia mumeo hajasikiam namuacha tu atafunzwa na dunia, kwa kweli wanaume hawa hawachelewi kukuona wewe mbaya.

    Ila kabla huyo mtoto hajaja kwenu hamkushauriana na mumeo? Kwa nini ulee mtoto ambaye mama yake yupo na ana uwezo wa kumlea? Yaani mama mtu kaona ndoa yake nzuri sana akuvunjie ndoa yako?
     
  11. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 2, 2012
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    hii ni ngumu saana
     
  12. BPM

    BPM JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 3, 2012
    Joined: Mar 10, 2011
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    pole sana ,
    1. ni pagumu kwani inaonyesha malezi ya mzee hayakuwa mazuri na ameharibiwa a wazazi wake ,
    2. mama wa mzee tayari ameshamkana mtoto kwa kutomhitaji a kujali mahusiano mapya , ni ngumu sana kuishi na mtoto ambaye hawezi kukuheshimu (baba wa kufikia wa mzee).
    3. mzee ameharibika kisaikolojia hivyo anahitaji kwanza ajengwe kisaikolojia na aweze kujitambua na pia ajielewe yukoje na ni nani katika jamii
    4. usikate tamaa mtoto anaweza kubadilika kwa kumpeleka boarding lakini kwanza mmeo ni lazima asimame kidete kwa ajili ya kubadilika kwa mzee
    5. naamini mzee kuna watu wako nae karibu au anawaogopa au kuwahesimu zaidi hivyo kwa kuanzia ni vizuri mkamsoma hilo na kuwatumia hao watu walau kwa hatua ya kwanza kwenye mabadiliko
    6. pia amini huyo ni mwanao na si wa ndugu ili uweze kumlea kama mwanao kwani kitendo cha kumbagua na kumuona wa mwingine tayari inaonyesha kutomhitaji , mbadili kama utakavyo ili uweze kuishi nae
     
  13. n

    nyarngato Member

    #13
    May 3, 2012
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    Thank Petcash umeongea vitu vya maana sana. nimepata postive thinking ambayo sikuwahi kuiwaza
     
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