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Ndani ya mahusiano. . .

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 6, 2012
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    Unapoingia kwenye mahusiano "BEING INLOVE" pekee haitoshi kufanya mahusiano yaendelee kuwepo huku wote mkiyafurahia. Kuna vitu ambavyo ni muhimu viwepo ili mtu asiboreke na wewe, asikuchoke, asichukie/kosa hamu ya kuwa karibu na wewe hata kufikia kutamani angekua na mtu mwingine badala yako au hata kuvunja mahusiano.


    Kwa msaada wa rafiki yangu ambae ni mwanaume (sio mvulana) nimeanisha mambo kadhaa ambayo Wanaume/ wanawake(sio wale viruka njia wa asili, wale hata ukiwalamba unyayo bado hawatotulia. . . hapa naongelea watu wanaoingia kwenye mahusiano wakiwa na nia ya kutulia na waliyenae for as long as possible) hua wanahitaji yafanywe/yawepo ili waendelee kutaka kutulia na mtu yule yule.

    1. Opinion, mawazo yao na wao wenyewe kuwa valued. Make him/her feel like (S)he is an important part of your life and that (S)HE matters.

    2. Kushirikishwa mambo. Mahusiano mengine huvunjwa na mmoja kujifanyia mambo tu bila kumshirikishwa mwenzake wakati hata yeye yanamhusu.

    3. Mtu ambae anaweza akawa mshauri wao. . .sio unakua mtu wa 'NDIO' tu au 'AMUA WEWE' kila siku. . . haswa wanawake. Sababu kuu ya watu kuingia kwenye mahusiano ni kuwa na mtu wa kushirikiana nae kwenye mambo mbali mbali na sio kupata mtu wa kumtegemea kwa kila kitu.

    4. Kutofokewa. . . wanaume zaidi.
    Ndio wanaume ni kama watoto wakati mwingine, ila hii inamaanisha kua unatakiwa uwe GENTLE nao na sio kumfokea na kumgombeza kama mtoto mdogo. . . utamkosesha raha awapo nyumbani na akichoka utamkimbiza nyumbani.

    5. Kujaliwa kihisia, kimwili na kifikra.
    a)Jali hisia zake, usifanye mambo unayofahamu fika yatamuumiza kwa makusudi.
    b)Maswala ya jikoni kama yalivyo ya chumbani ni muhimu kwenye mahusiano. Learn and try new things, avoid being selfish. Usiwe wale kina 'kichwa kinauma leo, kesho nimechoka' kila siku au ambae unapotaka kitu hujali hali ya mwenzio wewe unataka tu.

    6. Kuwa mtu ambae anaweza akajifunza hili au lile kutoka kwako. Usiwe mtu ambae kila siku ni yule yule bila nyongeza yoyote.

    7. Heshimu mahusiano yenu. Mnayofanya nyie mazuri au mabaya mnapokua wenyewe sio ya kila mtu kujua. Hivyo jitahidi usiwe na mdomo mrefu a.k.a mpayukaji. . . .utaishia kujiabisha wewe mwenyewe na mwenzako.

    8. Believe in him/her. Badala ya kumshusha na kumfanya ajisikie hawezi chochote msukume kufikia malengo yake pale uonapo uwezo huo anao, kama hana jaribu kumsaidia.

    9. MUELEWE. . . sio kila mtu ni muongo. Mwenzako akikwambia alikua anafanya a, e, i, o, u usilazimishe iwe a, b, c, d unless una sababu za msingi kufanya hivyo.

    10. Sikiliza. . . being a good listener is the best thing you can give your partner sometimes. Sio unaongea tu kama redio iliyowekwa betri mpya.

    11. Appreciate him/her. Acknowledge uwepo na umuhimu wake kwenye maisha yako, bila kusahau yale mazuri yote anayokufanyia.

    12. Msome. . .jua ni mtu wa aina gani. Akikasirika anahitaji nini,. . .kuachwa atulie, kubembelezwa / ongeleshwa wakati huo huo? Hii itakusaidia kujua namna sahihi ya kudeal nae badala ya kuendelea kuharibu mambo either kwa kukaa kimya au kumuongelesha.

    13. Samehe. . kuna mambo madogo madogo kama mtu kusahau kitu ulichomwomba/agiza, ukieleweshwa kwanini ilikua hivyo elewa, ukiombwa msamaha samehe. Yale makubwa makubwa kama kucheat deal nayo kulingana na msimamo wako binafsi.

    14. Kuwa mwalimu wake. Hamna anaejua kila kitu, na kwa bahati mbaya wakati mwingije hua tunajikuta tunakuwa na watu wasiojua vitu ambavyo vinaweza vikawa muhimu kwetu. . .badala ya kunung'unika ndani kwa ndani ama kuangalia kwingine kwa hicho unachokosa mfundishe mwenzako.

    15. Kuwa muwazi. Mwenzako anapofanya kitu ambacho hakikufurahishi hakikisha anaelewa hilo ili kuondoa uwezekano wa yeye kurudia kitu kile kile bila kujua kwamba ni kero kwako.

    "Mahusiano ni ya watu wawili, mmoja akijenga huku mwenzie anabomoa hamna kitakachoendelea." Lizzy
     
  2. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #2
    Feb 6, 2012
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    Hii safi sana! :poa:poa
     
  3. p

    pazzy Senior Member

    #3
    Feb 6, 2012
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    thnx sister lizzy kwa topic nzuri...Ilikufurahia mahusiano wapendanao wanapaswa kukumbushana wajibu wao,kupata nafasi yakuzungumza kwani mazungumzo huongeza thamani ya penzi"
     
  4. YNNAH

    YNNAH JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Ahsante dada,umesomeka
     
  5. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 6, 2012
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    :poa:poa:poa Very true
     
  6. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 6, 2012
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    My dia Lizzy,
    Nakushukuru sana,
    Umesomeka vizuri kbs,
    Nimeshaondoka na mapwenti ya kutosha ni mwendo wa kuyaaplai tu.
     
  7. MUREFU

    MUREFU JF-Expert Member

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    appriciate LIZZY yan nimekusoma vilivyo mana kunasome of things nilikuwa sijui na vingne ninavipuudhia kumbe thanks
     
  8. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    I don't think this kind of people exist now days,trust me!Siku hizi sio wanaume wala wanawake,kila mmoja ni mjuaji!
     
  9. Mamy D

    Mamy D Member

    #9
    Feb 6, 2012
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    Asante sana dada,kwa ujumbe huu mzuri uliojaa mafundisho.
     
  10. MAMMAMIA

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 6, 2012
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    Darasa nzuri Lizzy. Mada zako nyingi hapa zinakuwa za kuelimisha.
    Labda nyongeza ndog tu, kuvumiliana - kusameheana: Kwa vile nyote ni binadamu, lazima iko siku mmoja wenu akateleza na kufanya kosa. Ikitokea, mwenza anabudi ya kumsamehe mwenzake. Na ili kusamehewa huko kuwe na maana, na ili aliyesamehe "asahaul" azima aliyetenda kosa ahakikishe kuwa harejei kosa hilo kwani akirejea tu, atakuwa anatonesha vidonda vya zamani na ile dhana ya kusamehe na kusahau inapotea.

    Kwa upande mwengine, sio tena aliyesamehe akawa amesamehe mdomoni tu lakini kila siku, wiki, mwezi na mwaka baada ya mwaka anarejea kukumbushia "mwaka juzi ulinifanya hili na lile". Hiyo huitwa gubu na ni adui wa mahusiano.
     
  11. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Usiache kuzingatia. .

    Karibu Pazzy. . .
    Naungana na wewe. . .mawasiliano/mazungumzo ni kila kitu kwenye mahusiano. Mkiwa mnaweza mkaa chini, mkaongea na kuelewana mengi hayatowashinda.
     
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    Toka nje ya hao wanaokuzunguka. . . you might get lucky.
     
  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Asante MammaMia. . .ndio nilikua nafikiria kuongezea msamaha. Sema ndio kama ulivyosema, muhimu huo msamaha uwe na maana kwa anaeutoa na anaeupokea ili anaetoa asahau na anaepewa ajifunze.
     
  14. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    I don't think so!Kwa umri ambao ninao nina uzoefu wa kutosha sana na sio ninapoishi tu bali hata tofauti na hapa!
     
  15. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

    #15
    Feb 6, 2012
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    Mada yako nzuri kama ilani ya CCM ilivyo nzuri, lakini haitekelezeki
    Hata hivyo nitaomba MOD wanipe no yako nikutafute unipe darasa kirefu zaidi, unasemaje? just to advice me
     
  16. E

    Edo JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 6, 2012
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    Ahsante, bila shaka nawe una-ishi haya uliyoyaandika, kila la kheri uendelee kuelimisha umma kadri mola atakavyokujalia!
     
  17. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 6, 2012
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    So you are a pessimist? Good luck with that.
     
  18. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 6, 2012
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    Sasa somo la nini wakati utakachojifunza hakitekelezeki?
     
  19. Mkirua

    Mkirua JF-Expert Member

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    Du.. aksante kwa semina elekezi nitajitahidi ili nisiboe....
     
  20. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    I don't think so either!But my mind is empty if u ask me about that,but am still thinking!
     
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