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Nawezaje kutoka kwenye ndoa hii?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Shy, Nov 22, 2008.

  1. Shy

    Shy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 22, 2008
    Joined: Nov 2, 2006
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    Tulifunga ndoa ya kiserikali mwaka mmoja uliopita.

    Mwenzangu yuko mkoa mwingine mimi niko mkoa mwingine.Sasa mwenzangu hataki kuacha kazi ili aje tukae pamoja. Ingawa mwanzoni alikubali kuwa atahamia kwangu.

    Kuvunja ndoa hataki, anang'ang'ania hayo makaratasi ya ndoa, hata document ambazo nilikuwa natafutia uhamisho kazichukua ndani kimyakimya.

    Lakini kwa mazingira ya mbali amekuwa akinisaliti sana. Uwezo wa kumkamata sina sasa baada ya kufanya uzinzi wa kutosha.

    Uzuri wake wote umeyeyuke, anataka kurudisha uhusiano kwa kuandikia vimeseji haya yote yalitokana na mimi kumpa ujauzito ingawa tulikuwa dini tofauti nilikubali kumuoa na tutakuwa dini moja.

    Mimi naona hana msimamo, nifanyeje ili nivunje hii ndoa kisheria, yaani ameniweka mimi kama 'back up'ili mabuzi anayoyavizia yakimtosa ajirudishe kwangu.

    Nimejaribu kutoka kisheria nimeshindwa. naambiwa hivi mara vile, hii sheria inawalinda wanawake kuliko nilivyodhani.

    Naomba ushauri, mimba niliyompa iliharibika kutokana na ubishi wake wa kukataa kuchukua bed rest.

    Hanisikii, mimi sina mpango naye tena ila nitoke vipi?

    Kama kuna mtu ana idea na sheria anisaidie.
     
  2. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 22, 2008
    Joined: Jun 25, 2007
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    Wewe wewe wewe Shy..... yaani mtu hata achukie namna gani vituko vyako lazima ataishia kuvipenda au vitamchekesha kwa namna fulani badala ya kununa... you are one of them few who truly make JF a very unique place. This one cheered me up, imenilazimisha kulog in mara moja... lol :) :D :D

    Ushauri wangu: kamwone Mch. Mtikila kwanza anajua sheria hizi vizuri...
     
  3. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 22, 2008
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    Ovyo kabisa dogo, wewe Shy ni shoga! ama umeleta thamthilia?
     
  4. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 22, 2008
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    Ushi wa Rombo, mpe credits zake dogo kwa ubunifu bunifu wa mambo yawe ya kuchukiza au kupendezesha... kinda too weird to be disregarded and be dismissed
     
  5. Kang

    Kang JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 22, 2008
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    Sijui kama upo serious but...
    Hauwezi kupata divorce kivipi? Nini kilichokukwamisha kisheria?
     
  6. Tonga

    Tonga Senior Member

    #6
    Nov 22, 2008
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    Unataka kujua sheria za ndoa za wapi? Tanzania au nchi gani?
     
  7. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 22, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    Na yule mfanyakazi wako wa ndani uliyempa mimba kwa kuwa mkeo yuko busy na kazi ameshajifungua? Je, utamtunza mtoto au ndiyo unaingia mitini jumla jumla? Wakati mwingine unaweza kabisa kuwa na tatizo la kweli lakini kwa jinsi ulivyoharibu credibility yako hapa ukumbini inakuwa vigumu kuamini chochote toka kwako maana ile story ya mfanyakazi wa ndani baadaye ulitwambia ilikuwa ni ya kutunga tu hivyo si ajabu hata hii ni ya kutunga tu.

    Haya weekend njema :)
     
  8. Shy

    Shy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 22, 2008
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    hapo ndio bubu kaongea inabidi uendelee na tabia yako hiyo ya kupaste paste tu inakufaa kuongea mawazo yako hufai
     
  9. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 22, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    Sawa baba mimi kucopy na kupaste habari mbali mbali toka magazeti ya nchini kwetu, nchi za nje na vyombo vya habari mbali mbali duniani ambazo naona zina umuhimu wa kuwekwa hapa ukumbini sitaacha kamwe lakini hata siku moja sitathubutu kutunga story nzito ambayo inahitaji ushauri toka kwa wanachama wa JF halafu tena kuwaambia ni story tu nilitunga haina ukweli wowote. Kama huoni hilo ulinalo ni tatizo kubwa basi una walakini fulani wa kuchanganua mambo yenye umuhimu katika maisha yako ya kila siku. Kila la heri na story zako za uzushi.

    BAK mwenye mawazo yasiyofaa :)
     
  10. Y

    Yassin JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 22, 2008
    Joined: Jul 23, 2008
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    Wadau mbona mnapenda sana kumaind vitu vidogo tu jamaa katoa tu habari ili watu tuchangie sasa mnaanza kumponda kwa nini kama huna la maana kwa nini usichill kimya????Sio fresh jamani hapa sehemu ya kubadilishana mawazo sio sehemu ya kubishana
     
  11. Ladslaus Modest

    Ladslaus Modest JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 23, 2008
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    Na pia sio sehemu ya kuaibishana.
     
  12. Violet

    Violet Member

    #12
    Nov 23, 2008
    Joined: Nov 17, 2008
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    Nafikiri hati ya ndoa unaweza kupata nyingine na kufile divorce
     
  13. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 23, 2008
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    Lazima tuilinde credibility ya JF. Mtu anapokuwa ameharibu credibility yake mwenyewe kwa kuandika vitu ambavyo wasomaji waliviamini na kutoa ushauri mbali mbali nini kifanywe na muhusika halafu muhusika huyo akawaambia wasomaji kwamba alitunga tu story hiyo na haina ukweli wowote basi kuna haja ya kumwambia ukweli muhusika mambo anayoyafanya si mazuri kwa sababu tabia hii ikiachiwa iendelee basi inaweza kabisa kuharibu credibility ya JF. Kishaandika story ya kumpa mimba mfanyakazi wake wa ndani na nyingine ambayo siikumbuki vizuri na zote alizikanusha baadaye. Kwa maoni yangu tabia hii kufanywa na mtu mzima si sawa hata kidogo.
     
  14. BrownEye

    BrownEye Member

    #14
    Nov 23, 2008
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    Naombakwa kiasi mawazo yangu yalifikirie positive kidogo hili jambo ijapokuwa nakubaliana sana na mawazo yaliyotolewa na wachangiaji. Wakati mwingine unaweza kuwa umeombwa ushauri na mtu, na katika kukuomba ushauri jamaa akawa amekupa story yote, mtu huyo labda hana access au ujuzi na mtandao, lakini angependa sana kupata msaa wa mawazo juu ya tatizo lake. wewe uliyeombwa ushauri unajua fika kuwa JF kuna vipanga wanaweza kukupa mawazo, ili kuficha ID ya rafiki yako ( huyo alikujia kuomba msaada) unaamua kuivaa hiyo kesi kuwa yako ( sijui kama hili linaruhusia anyway).

    Wazo langu hapa ni kwamba labda kijana anawakilisha....!!! tumuhoji tusikie anasemaje kabla hatujapoteza muda wa wachangiaji kwa kumshambulia tu.
     
  15. Shy

    Shy JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Nov 23, 2008
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    lazima tuwe na mawazo na itikadi tofauti ili kuweza kutoa changamoto katika ukuaji wa sehemu mbali mbali za jamii kwahiyo chochote unachoona kimeandikw aau kuletwa kama unaweza changia changia kutokana na mada iliyopo kuuliza kama ni kweli au sio kweli hiyo haikuhusu wewe kinachotakiwa ni kuipa jamii kile kinachotakiwa kupata

    jamani narudia tusiinyime jamii nafasi ya kujifunza na kujitambua kutokana na mada mbali mbali tunazoweka humu
     
  16. Shy

    Shy JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Nov 23, 2008
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    kwa taarifa tu ninavyoandika au kuchangia chochote mimi siangalii umaarufu na vingine vyote unavyofikiria wewe -- mimi ni mwanajamii forum ninachangia kile ambacho naona kina maslahi kwa jamii wanaohusika na kile kitu wewe ukiwa mmoja wapo na siwezi kuwa sawa na wewe au wengine wote wanaotaka niwe sawa nao kila mtu amekuw akivyake kasome kivyake na anaendelea kuishi kivyake na kufanya mambo yake
     
  17. Mpita Njia

    Mpita Njia JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Nov 23, 2008
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    Shy, mbona unajibu yanayotoka nje ya mada tu/ Kuna watu wamekuuliza awali umejaribu kishria umeshindwaje? Ni sheria gani hiyo unayoisema kuwa inawapendelea wanawake tu? Umejaribu kuachana naye kwa kutunmia sheria gani? Kama ni hii sheria ya ndoa ya mwaka 1971, ni kipengele gani hasa kimekukwamisha? Sema ili upate msaada kutoka kwa wataalamu wa sheria na wazoefu wa kuacha.
     
  18. Bonnie1974

    Bonnie1974 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Nov 24, 2008
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    Karibu mzee.nakuaminia kanso.
     
  19. Eeka Mangi

    Eeka Mangi JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Nov 24, 2008
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    Point! Nakubaliana na wewe.
     
  20. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Nov 24, 2008
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    Ndoa ni taasisi inayoilindwa sana na sheria.Hivo usifikiri uta jump in and out of a marriage as it pleases you.Kama unazungumzia tatizo lako kwa msingi wa sheria ya Tanzania basi zingatia yafuatayo kwa uchache maana hatuwezi kuchambua kila kitu hapa.Mwenye kutaka details can PM:
    Talaka -
    1. Utoaji talaka -Kufuatana na Law of Marriage Act n0.5/1971 ni mahakama pekee tu ndiyo ina uwezo wa kutoa talaka.Hii ni kwa wote waislamu, wakristo na hata wenye imani nyingine ( na ndiyo maana kuna msukumo mkubwa sana kwa waislam kudai mahakama za kadhi ili mambo yao yashughulikiwe kufuatana na sheria ya kiislam)
    2. Sababu zinazoeweza kupelekea kupewa talaka kimahakama - Uthibitisho kuwa ndoa imevunjika pasina shaka na kuwa haiwezi kamwe kutengamaa tena.Inabidi uthibitishe vifuatavyo:-
    -Ukatili ( vipigo, matusi, kukataa kwa makusudi bila sababu ya kimsingi kushiriki na mwenzi wako tendo la ndoa, vitendo vya uasherati vya kujirudiarudia,na mambo mengine ikiwa ni pamoja na ukatili dhidi ya watoto wenu kama mnao)
    -Kutelekezwa -Hii inaweza kutokea hata kama bado mnaishi nyumba moja ( constructive desertion)
    -Non consummation of the marriage - pale ambapo tangu kuoana imeshindikana kufanya tendo la ndoa
    - Kubadili dini na kufuata imani nyingine baada ya ndoa
    -Magonjwa kama kichaa
    -Mwanamke kuandikiwa talaka 3 kama wahusika ni waislam

    Ukishakuwa na mlolongo wa hizo sababu, unatakiwa ufuate taratibu zifuatazo ili uweze kudai talaka mahakamani:
    Ndoa inatakiwa iwe imedumu si chini ya miaka 2 ili uweze kudai talaka
    1. Kwenda kwenye baraza la usuluhishi ( ustawi wa jamii,au baraza kwenye imani/dini husika kwa wakristo mabaraza yako kanisani ).Baraza litawaita wote wawili na kuwasikiliza matatizo yenu na watajaribu kusuluhisha ( hata kama hamtaki kusuluhishwa).Baada ya hapo ikishindika kusuluhisha mtapewa barua/hati kuonyesha kuwa imeshindikana kusuluhisha.
    2. Utatakiwa kuwasilisha maombi ya talaka mahakamani kwa maandishi ( hii itaonyesha wewe na mwenzio ni akina nani, anuani zenu,mnakoishi,kama mmejaliwa watoto, na sababu ya kudai talaka kwa kuzingatia vigezo vya kuvunjika ndoa yenu, na unaomba nini mf. talaka, watoto ukae nao, mgawanyo wa mali mlizochuma pamoja na mengine utakayoona).Maombi hayo utaambatanisha na hati ya ndoa au hati ya talaka 3 kama wewe ni mwuislam etc.
    3.Mwenzio naye atajibu na kama na yeye ana madai dhidi yako atayaweka bayana

    Mtakapoitwa kusikilizwa, itabidi uthibitishe uliyodai.Mf kama unadai mwenzio amekufanyia ukatili itabidi ulete ushahidi.

    Mahakama itawasikiliza wote na kuona kama kweli ndoa imevunjika beyond repair.Hapo ndipo talaka itatolewa.

    Huo ni ushauri mfupi.Nitahadharishe kuwa mlolongo huo hapo juu unaweza kujenga picha kuonyesha kama vile kupatikana kwa talaka ni kitu rahisi.Inaweza kuchukua muda mrefu sana kupata hiyo talaka au hata kupata hiyo hati ya baraza la usuluhishi na bila hii hati huwezi kufungua kesi ya talaka.
     
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