Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Nawapenda watoto kuliko mume

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mapinduzi, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0
    Habari zenu waheshimiwa mabibi na mabwana

    Naomba ushauri wa jinsi ya kutatua tatizo langu la mapenzi ambalo mwenyewe linanikera na nahisi mwenzangu anakuwa mnyonge.

    Ninahisi nawapenda zaidi watoto kuliko ninavyompenda baba yao. Muda wangu mwingi nautumia na watoto, kuanzia asubuhi kuwatayarisha kiusafi, kuwapa kifungua kinywa, na kuhakikisha wamekwenda shule kwa wakati stahiki. Baada ya hapo ni zamu yangu kujiandaa na kutoka nyumbani. Wakati mwingine nasahau hata kumwamsha baba watoto, kumwandalia nguo za kuvaa etc.

    Nikirudi kutoka kazini jioni, nakuwa busy kutayarisha chakula cha jioni na baada ya hapo kuwasimamia na kuwasaidia watoto kufanya homework, na kuhakikisha kuwa wamelala wakati muafaka. Baada ya watoto kuwa wamelala naanza kufanya usafi wa nyumba, na kufanya maandalizi ya shule kwa watoto siku inayofuata, kunyoosha nguo zao, kuhakikisha kila mtu kaweka sawa vifaa vyake vya shule kwenye begi, na kuandaa snacks zao. Baada ya hapo huwa nahisi kuchoka mno na ninapoingia kitandani nalala fofofo.

    Weekends niko busy na watoto kufanya shopping ya groceries, kutengeneza bustani, kufua, kucheza nao, kufanya homework na wakati mwingine kutembelea ndugu,jamaa na marafiki . Sina muda ambao naspendi na mume huyu na sijisikii kumpa attention ya kutosha. Mara nyingi huna naona ni wajibu wake kujimudu kwani ninahisi majukumu ya kuwalea na kuwasaidia watoto ndio ya kupewa kipaumbele, na wakati mwingine yananizidi.

    Huwa nahisi anakuwa mnyonge. Hata nikijilazimisha, najikuta niko nae lakini mawazo yangu yote yako kwa watoto, huyu nahitaji kile, huyu kakosea hivi, huyu kafanya utundu huu na mawazo kama hayo. Wiki yangu huwa imekwisha na wiki inayoanza mchakamchaka wake ni hivyo hivyo.

    Je kuna ambao hali hii inawatokea? Je mnakabiliana nayo vipi au ni mambo ya kawaida?
    Naomba ushauri wa kukabiliana na hii hali kama sio ya kawaida, ili ni balance mapenzi.
     
  2. BONGOLALA

    BONGOLALA JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Sep 14, 2009
    Messages: 13,048
    Likes Received: 1,357
    Trophy Points: 280
    Wala humpi unyonge,kama ww upo busy kuna nyumba ndogo ipo standby ina muhudumia!
     
  3. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0
    Nadhani umekwenda nje ya mada. Nilichouliza si kutaka kujua anahudumiwa wapi ninapokuwa busy.
     
  4. klorokwini

    klorokwini JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Dec 2, 2009
    Messages: 8,711
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 135
    afazali umewapenda watoto wako na sio serengeti boy au bosi wako wa kazini. big up.

    analysis ya klorokwini: kwavile unawapenda watoto ina maana kila atakaewapenda watoto wako basi na wewe utajikuta unampenda automatically (hii ni psaikolojikal rule no.4).

    ushauri wa klorokwini: mshirikishe baba watoto katika shuhuli za watoto na hakikisha watoto wanamfurahia baba yao, hii itakuathiri wewe umpende baba watoto kwa vile saikolojia yako itabadilishwa kupitia msingi wa penzi lako kwa watoto.

    -THE END-
     
  5. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0
    Ni mvivu anapenda kulala, kuangalia TV, na hata kama nina shughuli watoto wakaomba msaada kwake, atawaambia kamwambieni au msubirini mama. Nitajitahidi kumshirikisha. Asante sana Klorokwini.
     
  6. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Tatizo ushalijua kuwa huwezi kubalance muda, mume na watoto. sasa wewe huna hata housegirl wa kusaidia kuandaa watoto wewe ukashughulika na muzeee??? Lakini shida nyingine hizi tunajitakia wenyewe
     
  7. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0

    House girl tena?! I will never ever hire one kwani nina hakika hili ni tatizo zaidi kuliko suluhisho.

    Je unaushauri mwingine zaidi?
     
  8. klorokwini

    klorokwini JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Dec 2, 2009
    Messages: 8,711
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 135
    nilijua tatizo liko hapo na mbaya kuliko zote akitokea mwanaume mwengine akajaribu kuwaonesha upendo watoto wako trust me utaanza kufall in love nae (mungu akuepushie hiyo). angalia hobbies ambazo ni common kwa watoto na baba watoto halaf anzia hapo. let say baba watoto na watoto wanapenda swimming, basi pendelea kuwapeleka pamoja at least evry weekend. hii itasaidia baba kujenga urafiki na watoto.
     
  9. klorokwini

    klorokwini JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Dec 2, 2009
    Messages: 8,711
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 135
    haujamuelewa nazani, tatizo sio muda, tatizo ni anawapendaga watoto sana so kila watoto akiwashuhulikia mwenyewe anajiskiaga raha moyoni. ni kama mimi nakapenda sana ka laptop kangu, sasa nakuwaga staki mtu yoyote akaguse.
     
  10. LoyalTzCitizen

    LoyalTzCitizen JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Sep 15, 2010
    Messages: 1,750
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 135
    Unaonekana uko busy sana na una care sana familia yako haswa watoto na ndio maana umeuliza hili swali. Ninachotaka kujua ni wakati wewe unafanya haya mambo yote ktk nyumba kwa watoto na mpaka outdoor activities kama gardening pia jamaa huwa anaangalia TV tu! na hata hafanyi duties zozote za home????!!!!. siku zote kuna njia rahisi ambayo ni COMMUNICATION! ongea nae kuwa uko fed up na maendeleo ya nyumba na responsibilities hapo home na u suggest sharing of duties hapo utaona amestand wapi! pole sana and good luck.
     
  11. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0
    Anapenda sana TV, hapendi kuushughulisha mwili wake, sport ni big no kwake. Huwa namshawishi kwenda hata gym hata mara 3 kwa wiki, namlipia lakini hawezi kumaliza mwezi, anatafuta visingizio, ooh naumwa, mara mechi etc.

    Kigumu inakuwa pale ambapo sitaki kabisa kuwaentertain watoto na TV, ambayo ndio hobby ya baba yao. Wanaangalia only preselected programs na wameshazoea. Kwenye bold hapo Godforbid, nadhani nimeshashinda majaribu mengi hadi kufikia umri huu, sina wasiwasi tena.
     
  12. samora10

    samora10 JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Jul 21, 2010
    Messages: 5,905
    Likes Received: 449
    Trophy Points: 180
    its natural!! ila usimsahau sana
     
  13. chokambayaa

    chokambayaa JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
    Messages: 523
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 35
    Du hii mada imenisaidia kupambanua mambo yangu
    maana hata kwangu wife yuko bise sana na watoto
    mimi na laptop na TV

    Inabidi nianze kuwa nao bize
    ila nakushauri lewinski jitahidi kumshirikisha ktk
    mambo ya shule walau kuwapa watoto kazi za shule
    na kuwasaidia home work zao walao hilo hata mimi huwa nafanya
     
  14. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2009
    Messages: 1,917
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 133
    kazi zote za nyumabani , oficn na watoto ni ngumu kupata muda wa mzee labda yeye abadilike akusaidie kwenye watoto na kazi za home.
    naomba nikuulize, kwanini hupendi kuwa na house maid?
     
  15. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0
    Nilimfumania live akifanya mapenzi na baba watoto, chumbani kwangu, kitandani kwangu. Nilimsamehe baba watoto na nilijiwekea msimamo kuwa sitaweka msaidizi nyumbani.
     
  16. Nsiande

    Nsiande JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Jul 27, 2009
    Messages: 1,649
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 135
    Well, why housegirl ni tatizo kuliko suluhisho?, well there are things which I as a mother can't avoid doing but there are things that simply have to be done by a HG !!
    Kwamfano wote tunatoka saa kumi na moja tuanze foleni from Mbezi kuelekea makazini na nina mtoto wa miezi 10 nyumbani, huyu namwachia nani kama si HG ?
    Pia hawa wakubwa wakirudi toka shule saa 9 nani atawapikia kama si HG ??
    The only day my HG rests is sunday and I take charge of cooking and everything
    Jaribu kumshirikisha baba watoto kwenye homework, pia shuleni kuna sports day and school open activities zinazoencourage watoto na wazazi, hizo tunaenda sote na mume wangu
    Kama leo jpili, HG yuko off mtoto mdogo yuko na baba na wakubwa wananisaidia upishi

    What I really think, u have certain insecurities in your life,am thinking the fact that you do everything yourself is potray 'the superwoman attitude' which depict 'the perfect wife ' you have also brushed off having a housegirl as it brings more problems which answers your insecurities in trustin someone else doing what you are doing
    Unless ur work is not involving..but some of us have to travel with little ones and an extra help..

    I could go on and on, but you may PM me for further talks on this
    Mhandisi
     
  17. M

    Mapinduzi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Aug 23, 2008
    Messages: 2,427
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 0

    I have heard you. My case is I love kids more than hubby. I want to learn how to overcome this situation.
     
  18. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2009
    Messages: 1,917
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 133
    kuna kazi ambazo kwake ni simpo kama kuwasaidia watoto homework, kunyoosha sio za watoto tuu za wote including u, yote hayo hafanyi yuko biz na TV, ila kutongoza HG aliweza!!! kweli simba mwenda pole ndiye mla nyama.
     
  19. Ms Judith

    Ms Judith JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Dec 24, 2010
    Messages: 2,568
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 135
    mi naona ulishajua tatizo lako na unajua pia namna ya kulikabili. hakuna njia ya mkato utakayoweza kuipata hapa JF, bali check your psychological factors. ushauri huu wa klorkwini ni mzuri sana kuzingatia. mi naongeza kuwa kupenda watoto ni vizuri sana na kuwajibika kama mama mwingi wa mapenzi nyumbani ni vyema sana tena inapendeza na unastahili pongezi na keep it up. ila naona umeyafanya maisha ya nyumbani kwako kuwa sawa na nusu family ingawa una familia kamili. siku utakapoondokewa na huyo mume wako (siombei) ndio utagundua umuhimu na uzuri wake. please my dear learn to live as a family.

    kama unaweza tafuta msaidizi hapo nyumbani kwako ili nawe upate muda wa kupumzika. lakini sioni ubaya wa baba kukusaidia mfano kuandaa nguo zake (hata na zako) za kazini kama ratiba yako ya majukumu ndiyo hiyo na huna msaidizi wa kazi, ila inapokuja kuwa kila siku unajirusha kitandani mapema na kuanza kusinzia bila kutaka hata kubadilishana mawazo na mwenzako japo kidogo, mwenzio atahisi kukosa accompany yako. atakuwa mpweke na kama Mungu hataingilia kati anaweza hata kuanguka dhambini na kuleta balaa nyumbani mwako. so take care, otherwise tuambie kwa nini hisia zako ziko mbali na mtu uliyemridhia mwenyewe kuishi naye. kama baba ni uvivu (kama ulivyosema mahali fulani) ni vidosari vidogovidogo tu, vihandle with care, visije vikaitumbukiza nyumba yako katika magomvi mengi na yasyoisha na probably hata kuivunja siku moja. asiyezba ufa hujenga ukuta. wewe tayari umeuona ufa, so kazi unayo ya kuziba hizo nyufa mapema.
     
  20. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 16, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2009
    Messages: 1,917
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 133
    kumfumania nako yawezekana kulikuathi kisycolojia
     
Loading...