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Nashindwa kumwoa kwa sababu ya mtoto

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kigali, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. K

    Kigali Member

    #1
    Jan 13, 2012
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    Mimi ni kijana wa miaka 27. katika michakato ya kimaisha nilijiwekea utaratibu kua sitaoa mwanamke ambae ana mtoto kwa sabaabu zangu mwenyewe tu (sio logic sana).
    Mwaka 2009 nilikutana na msichana mmoja ambae nilimpenda sana lakini huyo msichana alizaa mtoto wa kiume tangu 2004 na mimi nililifahamu hilo. Kwa wakati huo sikua tayari kuoa na sikutaka kufanya maamuzi ya kumchagua mwanamke wa kuishi nae ila mwili una mahitaji na matamanio yake, hayo matamanio yakanisukuma kutengeneza ukaribu na huyo binti nayeye akaingia kwenye line. siku ilipofika nikamwita nikamwambia kua nampenda ila habari ya ndoa sio warrant, yule binti alikubali kwa shingo upande tukaingia kwenye mahusiano japo changamoto zimekuwepo lakini tumeweza kumaintain.
    Sasa muda wangu wa kuoa umefika na bado I can see the lady is beutiful, ni msichana anaenijali na kunisupport lakini ninashindwa kumwoa eti kwa sababu ya mtoto wake. Kwa kweli tatizo kubwa ninaloliona mimi ni hilo la mtoto. Yeye mwenyewe alishaniambia kua hana kipingamizi kuhusu kuoa kwangu endapo nitaoa mwanamke mwingine yuko tayari au km nikimtaka yeye mwenyewe yuko tayari ila anasema km nikioa mwanamke mwingine bado uhusiano wetu utaendelea japo kimya kimya
    Sasa ndugu zangu nimeleta mada hii kwenu mnisaidie kwa kunipa ushauri ni jambo lipi la kufanya.
    Tafadhali ushauri wako ni muhimu

    Asante
     
  2. TIQO

    TIQO JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jan 13, 2012
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    Ukipenda boga penda na ua lake.
     
  3. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #3
    Jan 13, 2012
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    Very simple. If you don't want to then just don't. Marriage and romantic relationships are voluntary.
     
  4. S

    Simbamtemee Member

    #4
    Jan 13, 2012
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    Km umempenda,mtoto c tatizo..
     
  5. Maundumula

    Maundumula JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Mimi nilikuwa navutiwa sana na wadada wenye watoto kipindi nipo single lakini sikubahatika kumpata ningepata ningeoa fasta
     
  6. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    kama hutaki acha usijilazimishe.tafuta binti mdogo ambaye hajazaa ili uwe comfortable na ndoa yako,omba tu mungu usikutane na binti alishatoa mimba 6,katembea na waume ya watu wa4 mmoja wao akiwa kibabu wa 75 yrs na hapo alipo anawachumba 3 anategea wakwanza kutoa mahari ndo awe mume. All the best.
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2012
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    Sasa kama hutaki kumuoa unataka nini tena? Mwache dada wa watu aende na njia zake.
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #8
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    Watu wengine wanapenda ku complicate mambo tu.
     
  9. K

    Kigali Member

    #9
    Jan 13, 2012
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  10. d

    daisy Senior Member

    #10
    Jan 13, 2012
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    kwa taarifa yako huyo binti mwenye mtoto ndiye wakuoa she can make both the best wife and mother to your children, hakuna mahali umesema kuwa anavijitabia visivyoridhisha na wewepia sababu ya kutotaka msichana mwenye mtoto zinaonekana sio za msingi.wewe ndo hujatulia hata kidogo eti utaoa mwingine alafu mtaendelea na uhusiano kichinichini,forget! kwani uliambia yeye ndo hatapata mwanaume mwingine wa kumuoa? Alafu unauhakika gani hatakuwekea pingamizi wakati unataka kuoa na akikutegeshea mimba.
     
  11. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Ndoa na mapenzi ni hiari
    Usijilazimishe kumwoa
     
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #12
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  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2012
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    They sure do. . . .
     
  14. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 13, 2012
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    Ni kweli kuwepo kwa mtoto (na baba yake), potentially kunaweza kuleta changamoto. Lakini cha muhimu ni kuwa suala la yeye kuwa na mtoto lipo wazi (naamini dada hakujaribu kulificha) kwako kabla hata hujaamua kuwa na uhusiano nae. Kama ukiamua kumuoa ni vema ukajiandaa kisaikojia na changamoto zinazoweza kujitokeza na pia kama mkiweza (inawezekana) mnaweza kuweka utaratibu mtoto akachukuliwa na baba yake ili nyinyi wawili muanze 'fresh'! Kutokana na maelezo yako naamini unampenda huyo dada na yeye anakupenda kwa kiwango kinachoweza ku-sustain ndoa.

    Hata hivyo kama hutaki kumwoa, sikushauri kuendelea kuwa na mahusiano nae (hata ya kisiri) kama yeye anavyopropose...hiyo itakuwa sumu kwenye ndoa yako na kwa kweli utakuwa humtendei haki mwenza wako mwengine (ni sawa na kama vile uamue kumwoa huyo dada halafu ugundue anaendelea kushiriki kwa siri na baba wa huyo mtoto......utajisikiaje?)
     
  15. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2012
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    duh! sasa mwana sikiliza hapa.
    huyu dada kwa kuwa tayari ana mtoto tayari options zake za wanaume zimeshika karibia na zero....ndio maana kasema yeye yupo tayari nyie kuendelea kuwa na mahusiano na wewe ata kama ukioa demu mweingine. hii ni kwa sababu akiachana na wewe mwanaume mwengine nae atakuja kumtumia tuu mwisho wa siku ataishia kuwa na mlolonngo wa wanaume ndio maana anaona bora atulie nawe.

    wat to do? mie kusema kweli kwanza kabisa hujatupa history ya jinsi walivyoachana na huyo baby daddy....pili kama ukikubali kumuoa ujue kabisa pale akilea yule mtoto ipo siku mtoto atataka kumuona real dad wake na pia usitegemee mengi kwa huyo mtoto wee toa msaada tuu.
    if u so decide kuoa mwengine basi ukiendelea na huyo ujue kuna drama maana hawa dada zetu drama is in their dna thats for sure. kweli free k ni nzuri na tempting but in the final analysis very expensive. hatujui nini anapanga moyoni na women are vicious kijana wee waheshimu tuu kama mama zetu. tafakari hayo kwanza.
     
  16. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2012
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    Huyo mwenye mtoto ndiyo mzoefu maana keshapitia hatua ambazo huyo umtakaye hajapitia! tena mahari yake inatakiwa iwe kubwa kutokana na uzoefu wake. Sasa chagua moja, Uoe mwenye uzoefu au uoe ambaye hana uzoefu...Fuata jinsi hisia za moyo wako zinavyokutuma...:A S embarassed::A S embarassed::A S embarassed::A S embarassed::A S embarassed::A S embarassed:
     
  17. K

    Kigali Member

    #17
    Jan 13, 2012
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  18. K

    Kigali Member

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    Asante kwa ushauri wako. ila kuhusu kuendeleza uhusiano hayo ni maoni ya binti. Kwa habari ya kutulia sina uhakika sana km sijatulia/nimetulia labda mtu mwingine anaweza kuelezea hilo. Na kuhusu tabia sio mbaya sana ni za awaida ambazo ninaweza kuchukuliana nazo. Akinitegeshea mimba basi utakua mwanzo wa kumwoa ila usimwambie labda unaweza ukawa unamfaham
    Nakushukuru sana kwa ushauri wako
     
  19. K

    Kigali Member

    #19
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    Asante sana kwa ushauri wako ila kwangu mimi umri si tatizo issue ni mtoto (it's a matter of preferences). Kuhusu changamoto nakushukuru sana kwa kunipa taadhari hiyo.
     
  20. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 13, 2012
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    Huwezi jua nini kiko mbeleni..............hahah uanjaua kuwa una uzazi?..............hebu chukua mama na mwana (sikulazimishi); huyo mtoto yaweza kuwa matokeo ya maamuzi yake mabaya tu na was not love.............kiimani unabeba thawabu nyingi sana, binafsi sioni shida.........na wala hainiumizi akili.
     
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