Naombeni ushauri



I just didn't want to spell it out.


Penny I hope you're not younger than 25. (Ili kukidhi ile formula yetu ya "Half his age plus 7")



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am in 30 something and he is 40 something
 
...he is not romantic to me and he has become less active in sex than the first months just after we got married. When i ask him, he says that he is tired coz of work. Other thing is that he is not open to me about his whereabouts. I love the man but he is not giving me the same love. What should I do, please advice.

...jitahidi kuwa mbunifu kwenye 'udugu wenu wa shuka' na kuongeza 'kalufundi' kwenye mambo ya unyumba kwa ujumla, hatotoka tena nyumbani bila sababu za msingi...!
 
Jino kwa Jino

I think u should ignore him for a while for 2 days. Dont talk to him for two days. If he wants to talk then tell him to listen to u first because u've always wanted his attention to give him wats bothering u. Alaf u didnt say anafanya kazi gani.

There are kinds of work zinawapa watu mawazo all the time. His first wife was moving out with a person who was listening and caring.

Before doing the same try to to capture his attentiveness.
He should care about you like he cares about his damn work. Unless his work is too important such that no man alive can do it.
 



Sawa! Inawezekana kuna ujumbe wa africanus hujaupata vizuri. I expected you would say more.



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what do you want to here more, ask me and will tell you. And please be direct to the point while giving out suggestions maana I need to understand also and take action of your views.
 
...jitahidi kuwa mbunifu kwenye 'udugu wenu wa shuka' na kuongeza 'kalufundi' kwenye mambo ya unyumba kwa ujumla, hatotoka tena nyumbani bila sababu za msingi...!

Ndungu asante, maufundi yote nimefanya, kula koni nimekula kwa sana since the beginning, after the graph started going down. He told me "it is not very important to him", chachandu nimeweka! Khaah! what else should I do? may be tell me now the kalufundi of yours. Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.
 
Jino kwa Jino

I think u should ignore him for a while for 2 days. Dont talk to him for two days. If he wants to talk then tell him to listen to u first because u've always wanted his attention to give him wats bothering u. Alaf u didnt say anafanya kazi gani.

There are kinds of work zinawapa watu mawazo all the time. His first wife was moving out with a person who was listening and caring.

Before doing the same try to to capture his attentiveness.
He should care about you like he cares about his damn work. Unless his work is too important such that no man alive can do it.

I had tried ingnoring him, but to him it is like he does not care when i give him the reasons of me keeping quite he says am a complainer. He is working as a carpenter from 14hr to 24hr, and it is from Monday to Friday.
 
what do you want to here more, ask me and will tell you. And please be direct to the point while giving out suggestions maana I need to understand also and take action of your views.



Ikiwa umewahi kuwa na mwanaume au wanaume wengine, how does your hubby differ from them sexually? Have you noticed anything abnormal? Anything, however small.


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Ndungu asante, maufundi yote nimefanya, kula koni nimekula kwa sana since the beginning, after the graph started going down. He told me "it is not very important to him", chachandu nimeweka! Khaah! what else should I do? may be tell me now the kalufundi of yours. Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.

Hapohapo labda akapata anakopewa!ndo maana wewe ukimuomba anakuwa amechoka jamani si unampa tu mmeo anataka sasa kama kataka yeye utafanya nini?
 
Ndungu asante, maufundi yote nimefanya, kula koni nimekula kwa sana since the beginning, after the graph started going down. He told me "it is not very important to him", chachandu nimeweka! Khaah! what else should I do? may be tell me now the kalufundi of yours. Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.


Now I get it. It sounds like you have RULES!

I'm not saying you should have accepted his advances, but don't you think you were very impolite?


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Ndungu asante, maufundi yote nimefanya, kula koni nimekula kwa sana since the beginning, after the graph started going down. He told me "it is not very important to him", chachandu nimeweka! Khaah! what else should I do? may be tell me now the kalufundi of yours. Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.

...isshhh...!!! basi dada, basi. Loh! jamaa alitaka "kufukua kaburi?", ...nadhani hilo ni sikio la kufa, halina dawa,... midlife crisis.

Mpe muda tu atajirudi. Dont pull him back, kwani ndio atazidisha kutafuta sababu ya kuwa mbali.

Concentrate on your career and other family issues, ipo siku atarudi huyo, 'ndivyo alivyo!'
 



Ikiwa umewahi kuwa na mwanaume au wanaume wengine, how does your hubby differ from them sexually? Have you noticed anything abnormal? Anything, however small.


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For sure I can say he differs in a big percentage. I have never met such a difficult man.
 
Hapohapo labda akapata anakopewa!ndo maana wewe ukimuomba anakuwa amechoka jamani si unampa tu mmeo anataka sasa kama kataka yeye utafanya nini?

Asante kwa mawazo yako First lady! I give him my sorry, he can go to on with others but ME.
 
Hiyo post ya kunyemelea mgongo imenifanya nicheke kwa nguvu mpaka nikapaliwa...

Unpopular advice....

Jaribu kutingisha kiberiti! Kwa nini usi-play game la kujifanya kama vile unatembea na mtu mwingine? Chelewa kurudi nyumbani.....jifanye kama unapokea/piga simu mida mikali. Tingishatingisha tu kiberiti....pengine inaweza kusaidia kumwamsha usingizini.
 
Hiyo post ya kunyemelea mgongo imenifanya nicheke kwa nguvu mpaka nikapaliwa...

Unpopular advice....

Jaribu kutingisha kiberiti! Kwa nini usi-play game la kujifanya kama vile unatembea na mtu mwingine? Chelewa kurudi nyumbani.....jifanye kama unapokea/piga simu mida mikali. Tingishatingisha tu kiberiti....pengine inaweza kusaidia kumwamsha usingizini.

Vyote hivyo QM nimefanya kabla ya kuja humu ukumbini. Simu nilishajifanyisha tena nilimwambia dadangu ambaye naye yuko huku overseas anipigie, sema nilienda kujifungia chumbani ndo nikaongelea huko ilikuwa mida ya 12jioni, usiku ndo sijawahi kufanya hivyo. Kurudi nimechelewa nimeshafanya mara mbili.... but he does not question anything, he is just quiet. Pengine nipe mbinu mbadala.

Asante kwa mchango wako.
 
Ok tomoro will be a birthday of one of his Mens friend. He has decided to take one day off from his leave day! Can u imagine how other outhouse things can make him happy! So, I wanted to damp him and let him go alone. What do you advice me felas.
 
[size=4[COLOR="Red"]]Kaa naye chini umwambie mambo yote ambayo huridhiki nayo katika ndoa yenu pamoja na hilo la kutokuwa romantic na pia kutokuwa na muda wa kufanya mapenzi nawe. Kama huridhiki na maelezo yake basi jaribu pia kumuhusisha huyo aliyewaunganisha, vinginevyo usipoteze muda wako katika ndoa ambayo haina mapenzi yoyote. Kama miezi minne wakati ambapo maluvluv yanakuwa bado moto moto ameshaanza kuingia mitini basi si muda mrefu ataanza kulala nje.[/size][/color]

MEEEEEN....!!!!!! dont u remember kwamba hakuna mwanaume duniani anayependa kuambiwa either na mkewe au his lover kwamba hawezi kazi au hamridhishi sijui nini..... hata kama mm akiniambia hivyo tu siku ya pili talaka
Do not pretend!!!!
 
Mimi ni mwanamke niliyeolewa na nina mda wa miezi nane sasa katika ndoa. Huyu bwana tuliyeona kwa kweli niliunganishiwa na ndugu yangu ambaye alikuwa rafiki yake hapo zamani. So it means I dont know his behaviours in real. He is also a divorced man with two children but the children leave with there mother.

What I want a help is that i dont know if he really love me or he also just wanted to have a wife and that`s it. Am saying this because he is not romantic to me and he has become less active in sex than the first months just after we got married. When i ask him, he says that he is tired coz of work. Other thing is that he is not open to me about his whereabouts. I love the man but he is not giving me the same love. What should I do, please advice.

Angekufanya wewe mke tu ingekuwa nafuu. I think he just does not want to live by himself and die alone. Obviously he has a life, do you?

Mumeo ana maoni gani kuhusu watoto ambao wako kwa ex-wife?

The man was a my uncle, I knew everything and accepted the whole situation. Because i also did an investigation me and my family before marriage to see what really happened for that divorce! We came to realise that the woman had some problems (she was moving out with other man!).

Do you still think the woman had problems?
Ukafanya investigation kujua ndoa yake ilikuwaje - ila ukaamua kutofanya investigation kujua kama huyu mtu anakufaa. Uliingiaje kwenye mkataba wa ndoa wiki moja tu baada ya kukutana naye?

Ni muda gani toka mlipo fahamiana mpaka mlipo oana?
Kwa kweli ni mda kama five months but in email and phone only.
Muda gani toka mmekutana hadi siku ya ndoa?

It was like one week.


Na mjomba naye akatoa baraka zake.
Nahisi kuna mambo ulishauriwa na ndugu zako ila hukusikiliza la mtu. Sijui mlikutana huko abroad au alikuja kukubeba huku Bongo?






And may be to have some advice also in these; Before marriage he told me he has a share in a company with his friend when i came in I discovered it was all lies(kamba). He promised so many things but he has never full filled (Going out for dinner, cinema, doing me my birthday etc) any of them. When I ask him he is like "will go". So am just patiently waiting for the day! During any conversation with me anakuwa amenuna kweli but he receive a call from his friends he smiles alot. Therefore I discovered it is like am holding him home while he was like to be somewhere with his friends. May I have some ideas in this too.

Hukuchunguza sana, labda ndio maana mwenzako alieachika alikuwa anapiga misele nje.

Inawezekana kabisa kwamba moja ya sababu huyo mwanamke alimkimbia ni baada ya kukosa physical intimacy. Wewe hata hiyo emotional intimacy hupewi.


...jitahidi kuwa mbunifu kwenye 'udugu wenu wa shuka' na kuongeza 'kalufundi' kwenye mambo ya unyumba kwa ujumla, hatotoka tena nyumbani bila sababu za msingi...!
Ndungu asante, maufundi yote nimefanya, kula koni nimekula kwa sana since the beginning, after the graph started going down. He told me "it is not very important to him", chachandu nimeweka! Khaah! what else should I do? may be tell me now the kalufundi of yours. Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.
Hata simba jike hayuko hivyo, yaani dalili tu? Moja ya sex fantasy zake umeipiga stop kubwa; jaribu basi kudadisi fantasy zake nyingine. Jinsi hali ilivyo, I don't think your sex life will get any better, labda uende ziwani. Unaonaje wewe na yeye mkaenda kwa marriage counselor.


Ikiwa umewahi kuwa na mwanaume au wanaume wengine, how does your hubby differ from them sexually? Have you noticed anything abnormal? Anything, however small.


For sure I can say he differs in a big percentage. I have never met such a difficult man.
Comment yako ingesaidia kama ungeeleza details. Hata hivyo, ikiwa atakuridhisha kikamilifu mpaka ukapiga ukunga, je, hiki ndicho kitu pekee unachohitaji?


Ok tomoro will be a birthday of one of his Mens friend. He has decided to take one day off from his leave day! Can u imagine how other outhouse things can make him happy! So, I wanted to damp him and let him go alone. What do you advice me felas.
Umefikiria kunufaika vipi hapo? Kwa nini usifanye kinyume chake, ukifika uwachangamkie waalikwa katika mazungumzo. Show that you enjoy having conversation with them. Laugh when they make jokes.


Vyote hivyo QM nimefanya kabla ya kuja humu ukumbini. Simu nilishajifanyisha tena nilimwambia dadangu ambaye naye yuko huku overseas anipigie, sema nilienda kujifungia chumbani ndo nikaongelea huko ilikuwa mida ya 12jioni, usiku ndo sijawahi kufanya hivyo. Kurudi nimechelewa nimeshafanya mara mbili.... but he does not question anything, he is just quiet. Pengine nipe mbinu mbadala.

Asante kwa mchango wako.

Don't fake it, he is not a teenager!

It is time you use some unorthodox means. Wewe ni mama wa nyumbani? Kama ni hivyo ukatafute kazi, huko tafuta rafiki wa kiume msiyepishana sana umri (the younger the better). Awe karibu nawe hasa unapokuwa frustrated - sharing talks and stuff (you don't have to f**k him). You will see magic with your very own eyes, just don't rush things. Life can be so meaningless if you have no one to bond with. Talk to your sister about this idea and find out what she think.


Unorthodox - different from what is usual or expected in behaviour, ideas, methods, etc.


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Ok tomoro will be a birthday of one of his Mens friend. He has decided to take one day off from his leave day! Can u imagine how other outhouse things can make him happy! So, I wanted to damp him and let him go alone. What do you advice me felas.

Na wewe humpendi tu mumeo!hili nalo la kuuliza?hivi kweli wewe unamaanisha kuwa kwenye ndoa?au u said una miezi minane tu!sasa kinachokufanya usiende na mumeo kwenye party ni nini?
 

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