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Naombeni msaada wapendwa!!!!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by LD, Feb 21, 2011.

  1. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Salamu kwenu nyote Mabibi na Mabwana, natumaini mko Salama kabisa.

    Kuna jambo moja nimeliona likanipa maswali mengi, halafu nikawa sipati majibu mazuri.

    Kuna ndoa moja ya mume moja na mke mmoja wote Wakristo. Sio ndoa changa wanandoa ni watu wazima kabisa. Kwenye miaka ya 50's hivi.

    Baba ana elimu kubwa ni mfanyakazi na mfanya biashara pia.
    Mama/mke wake wa ndoa ni mama wa nyumbani, hakubahatika kupata Elimu ya juu, tuseme ana Elimu ya msingi.

    Baba huyu ana mpango wa kando (Mke mwingine nje ya ndoa) na amezaa naye mtoto mmoja. Kilichonipa maswali sasa ni kwamba huu mpango wa nje walau umeenda shule, unajua mambo hasa yahusuyo biashara na maisha kwa ujumla.

    Huyu mama mwenye nyumba (mke wa ndoa) yeye ni mama wa nyumbani pure!!
    Anashinda nyumbani, anaangalia tu taratibu za hapo nyumbani.

    Mipango mingi inayohusu maendeleo ya biashara na maisha kwa ujumla, Baba anapanga na huo mpango wa kando, kila kitu lazima mpango wa kando ahusishwe na atoe maoni yake.

    Na huo mpango wa kando unajua mambo, kufikiri, na maoni na ushauri mzuri wa kimaendeleo. Ambacho nimekigundua mpango wa kando unajua kufikiri kuliko mpango wa ndani. Yani ukimsikiliza huyo mpango wa kando na mother house katika kutoa hoja na kuchangia jambo lolote la maendeleo unagundua kabisa kuna gape kubwa la uelewa wa mambo, wakati mwingine hata utendaji wao.

    Na hicho kimepelekea baba kuelemea zaidi huko kwa mpango wa kando kwa sababu huko ndiko anakopata Innovative ideas zaidi.
    Ingawa analala na kukaa nyumbani kwa mke wake wa ndoa. Kiukweli ukiangalia unaona huyu mpango wa kando ana mchango mkubwa sana kwenye maswala ya maendeo ya kiuchumi zaidi kuliko mother house.

    Kuna wakati huyo baba alimfungulia mother house wake biashara kubwa na nzuri tu, lakini alishindwa ku manage ikafilisika kabisa.
    Lakini kuna viyu huyu mpango wa kando anaviangalia vinakwenda vizuri sana, na vina leta faida kweli kweli.

    -Kama ilivyo kawaida mother house hana furaha na kile anachokifanya mume wake, kumletea hadi mtoto kwenye ndoa. Hana ujasiri kwa mume wake, ni mnyonge, hana maamuzi yake binafsi, hana uhuru wa kutosha. Yani ni tabu tupu. Anaishi tu kwa sababu kuna kuishi lakini hana furaha ya ndoa kabisa. Na kwa sababu ya hayo anazidi kuwa kituko kabisa, hata house girl anaweza akamfokea!!

    1.Je huyu baba alikosea kumuoa mke ambaye hana kiwango cha elimu zaidi ya
    elimu ya msingi??

    2.Je kwa nini huyu baba asimwendeleze huyu mama/mke wake kielimu
    kidogo ili aweze kuchangamsha akili kidogo?

    3. Je ni vizuri mtu kuoa/kuolewa na mtu ambaye walau akili zenu zinaendena katika utendaji wa mambo hasa ukizingatia mipango na maono yako ya maisha?

    4. Je huyu baba anafanya makosa kumfanya mpango wake wa kando
    mshauri wa mipango yake ya maendeleo zaidi ya mke wake?

    Mwisho: Unamshauri nini huyu mama mwenye nyumba, ili aweze kuishi kwa furaha na amani katika ndoa yake?


    Mbarikiwe!!!
     
  2. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 21, 2011
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
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    (((Kama ilivyo kawaida mother house hana furaha na kile anachokifanya mume wake, kumletea hadi mtoto kwenye ndoa. Hana ujasiri kwa mume wake, ni mnyonge, hana maamuzi yake binafsi, hana uhuru wa kutosha. Yani ni tabu tupu. Anaishi tu kwa sababu kuna kuishi lakini hana furaha ya ndoa kabisa. Na kwa sababu ya hayo anazidi kuwa kituko kabisa, hata house girl anaweza akamfokea!!)))

    Hapo kwenye red imenisikitisha sana na nimemuonea huruma sana huyu mama. Wakina mama wengi wa wazamani wana adabu sana kwa waume zao (including mama yangu) Baba akisema kitu anatii hata akikosea hawezi kumwambia.

    Huruma niliyonayo kwa mother house imenigusa mno nitarudi baadae ngoja kwanza
     
  3. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #3
    Feb 21, 2011
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    LD bwana !!
    ntarudi
     
  4. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Nimependa hayo maswali....

    Sidhani kama alikosea kumuoa huyo mama(mke wa ndoa) ila navyoamini mimi angetaka kuendelea angeshaendeleza hiyo elimu yake...huyo baba kama kaendeleza mpango wa kando hivyo sidhani kama angeshindwa kumuendeleza mke wa ndoa.....huwezi mlazimisha mtu kuchangamsha akili,yabidi nia hiyo awe nayo mwenyewe.....

    Nafikiri ni vizuri kuolewa/kuoa mke ambaye akili zenu zinaendana....inakera unapokuwa na mtu ambaye hamuwezi kaa chini mkajadili jambo katika level fulani,na mara nyingi hii inaleta inferiority complex kwa huyo asiye na elimu ndo maana anakuwa mnyonge na asiyejiamini

    Sikubaliani na mpango wa kando...ila kupokea ushauri wa kukuendeleza si kitu kibaya kwa mwanaume kufanya.....manake maendeleo si hata bi mkubwa ana faidi my sister?

    Huyo mama,aende akapate mafunzo ya ujasiriamali na kibiashara,knowledge is power asikudanganye mtu,arudi kwa mumewe amuombe tena amsaidie kuanza biashara na hata kama yeye hawezi aajiri mtu anayeweza ku-manage biashara,aache kukaa nyumbani na kuwa goal keeper,mpango wa kando una -take advantage sana hapo......akiwa busy unyonge utamuondoka......na azidi kumuomba Mungu,yataka moyo na uvumilivu kukubali hili muda wote huo........halafu ishu moja isimfanye akawa mnyonge hivyo,Mungu kambariki sana,asikae akiugua kwa moja alilokosa.....mmmmhhhhh,ni hayo tu! Barikiwa pia!
     
  5. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Yani acha tu DA, nakusubiri kwa hamu kubwa!!
     
  6. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Nakusubiri, mjukuu wa babu!!
     
  7. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 21, 2011
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    naenda lunch kidogo!

    be back.....
     
  8. Maganga Mkweli

    Maganga Mkweli JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 21, 2011
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    unajua shida iko wapi majority ya mama zetu wengi waliolewa wakiwa na elimu ya chini na huo ni mfumo uliokuwepo sana kwa sababu mbalimbali ikiwemo ya utii na la kuchaguliwa mume enzi hizo na hii ni sababu kubwa sana inayofanya wanawake wengi wawe inferior cha msingi huyo mama yampasa angalie mapungufu yake na ajirekebishe ili aweze kuishi kama zamani lakin tatizo kama liko toka zamani hii ndoa ni mismatch walioana kufuata utaratibu tu na si kwa mapenzi ya dhati.
     
  9. St. Paka Mweusi

    St. Paka Mweusi JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Nitarudi kwa mchango zaidi maana hii mada ni nzito lakini ujumbe mkubwa naoweza kuutoa kwa wasichana ni kwamba wajitahidi kujiendeleza kielimu na wasifikirie kujipodoa tu ili wapate succesful men na wawe mama wa nyumbani yatawakuta kama ya huyu mama ..
     
  10. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 21, 2011
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    well!
    nilikuwa naenda lunch lakini nimekuta vidole vinawasha vinataka kutype kitu fulani kuhusiana na hii mada

    MSIMAMO WA TEAMO!.....baba alikosea sana wakati anafanya maamuzi ya kuishi na huyo anaeitwa mama mwenye nyumba...it was purely a mistake.nitarudi baadae kwa ufafanuzi zaidi
     
  11. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Asante Michelle, sasa unaiona hio red hapo, kwa jinsi nilivyoona mimi ndicho kinachochangia huyu baba anakuwa karibu zaidi na huyo bi mdogo. Kuhusu kusoma na ujasiriamali wa huyu mother house nimejikuta namtupia lawama huyu baba, kwa sababu, hakumpa ushirikiano katika hilo nafikiri. Manake baba ni mkali, ni ile staili ya Shikamoo baba kumbe mume wako!!
     
  12. M

    Marytina JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 21, 2011
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    am in panic mood,nkitulia ntarudi
     
  13. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Hii thread wanaume tunaruhusiwa kuchangia?
     
  14. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Asante Maganga mkweli, hapo kwenye red, nafikiria mapungufu mengi yanasababishwa na huo uduni alio nao kwa mume wake.
    Yani mwanaume ni mwanaume haswaaaaa!!!
     
  15. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Asante mtakatifu kwa ujumbe mzuri kwa wadada,
    Nakusubiri kwa hamu kubwa!!
     
  16. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Asante Teamo, nakusubiri!!
     
  17. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #17
    Feb 21, 2011
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    Yaani kabla hata hujaufunga mlango wa kutokea kwenda huko unakokwenda SIKUBALIANI KABISA NA HILI Eti BABA AMEKOSEA!!

    Hakukosea hata kidogo na nadhani alimpenda kwa dhati na kama alivyosema LD ni watu wazima na ndoa nyingi za wazee wetu ziko hivyo Baba ni msomi kuliko Mama. Kosa alilolifanya Mbaba huyu ni kutegemea maisha yake na maendeleo yake yaongozwe na nyumba ndogo badala ya kumwendeleza mkewe na kumpa ujuzi wa kuendesha maisha kwa pamoja ye anaendagawa ugali nje??
     
  18. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Hii ndio dunia tambara bovu Marytina, wala usipaniki sana,
    Ngoja tujifunze ili tujue jinsi ya kukabidhiana na changamoto za maisha haya!!
     
  19. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Babu tunasubiri, hekima na mchango wako!!
     
  20. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 21, 2011
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    Kabla sijatoa sababu
    Natoa msimamo wa babu,
    Lakini isiwe bawabu,
    La kuficha majawabu;

    Msimamo wa babu:
    Mzee hakukosea kuoa huyo anayeitwa mama mwenye nyumba
    Na hakukosea pia kuwa na huyo anayeitwa mpango wa nje.

    Ntarudi kufafanua kama hamjanielewa.
     
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