Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Naomba ushauri wenu wapendwa.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MKAROLINA, Feb 27, 2011.

  1. M

    MKAROLINA Member

    #1
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Feb 26, 2011
    Messages: 58
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Habarin za kazi wana jamii Forum!

    Kiukweli nashindwa ata nianzie wapi, nilikua na boyfriend wangu tulipendana sana na hatimae akaomba uchumba ili badae tuishi kama baba na mama wa watoto wetu,

    Tulikubaliana wote kwa pamoja na tukaanza process za utambulisho kwa wazazi na kwa marafiki zetu wa karibu,

    Wazazi wa yule kaka walikubali na kunieleza kwamba wamefurahi sana kwasababu walishamlazimisha kijana wao kuoa ila bila kuona mabadiliko, ila as long as amenipeleka kunitambulisha waliamini mm ndo chaguo lake.

    Wazazi wakaomba sana mabo ya harusi tuyaandae mapema ili tuishi na kijana ampe nafasi mdogo wake wa kiume nae aoe, kama wengine wanavyofuata mila na desturi.

    Huyo kijana ni kabila tofauti na mm ila kwa vilel tulishapendana tukaona hakuna tatizo na wazazi wake walishakubaliana nasisi.

    Hivi majuzi J 3 nilisikia habari ambazo hazikunifurahisa kuhusiana na mahusiano yetu,

    Yakuwa kijana katafutiwa mchumba wa kabila lake na amelazimishwa kumuoa, ila mm nilipomuuliza kijana alikataa na kuniambia ngoja aombe ruhusa kazini ili aka hakikishe hayo yanayosemwa kama ni ya kweli maana tunafanya kazi ofisi moja, nikamkubalia na ruhusa akapewa,

    Alipofika nyumbani kwao akanipigia simu na kunieleza kuwa yale mabneno ni ya uongo, kwa hiyo nisijali, ila mm sikuamini alichoniambia ikabidi na mm niombe ruhusa kazini na kwenda kwao kushuhudia bila yeye kuwa na taarifa kama ningenda kwao.

    Nilipofika kwao nikamkuta binti na baada ya kumuhoji yule binti akaniambia ameolewa na huyo kijana, kwa kweli niliumia sana na nikamwambia kujana kwann akiniongopea akasema alikua anasolve tatizo ili badae anipe ukweli sababu ananijua mm ninapunic sana.

    Nilipofika kazini nikawaeleza watu wale walionipa yale maneno na uamuzi wangu ukawa ni kuachana na,

    Aliporudi kutoka kwao akaniambia uamuzi niliochukua siomzuri na yeye amelazimishwa kuoa ila ajamkubali yule binti, ananiomba tuendelee na uchumamba wetu, ila mm bado siamini kama alimkubali yule binti au la! na ananiambia yeye ananipenda sana thats why alimkataa mchumba aliyetatafutiwa.

    My question is je? nitaprove vipi kama anayonimbai ni kweli?
    Na je? tukioana na wazazi wake wameshaonyesha kutokunikublai labda ni kwa ajili ya kabila tofauti tutaishi kwa amani?

    Ninaomba ushauri wa hali na mali kwan niko kwenye wimbi la mawazo na yeye bado ananiomba nimsamehe kwa yote lakini tuendeleze mahusiano yetu.

    Thanx in advance.
     
  2. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: May 30, 2008
    Messages: 5,467
    Likes Received: 44
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mpendwa,
    Hapa hesabu huna mtu kwa huyo kaka maana inaelekea tayari keshafunga ndoa naye hata kama bado anakupenda! Hii ina maana hutaweza kuanza naye chochote kwenye ubao safi!
    Hapo ilikuwa rahisi tu akufahamaishe kuwa huo mpango wa familia kumuoza mtu wa kwao ni kweli - pia angejitahidi kutokumuoa.Siyo amuoe kisha aje aendelee na wewe!
    Huu mchezo wa watu kuoa kisha kuendelea na wapenzi wao wa zamani upo na usikubali kugeuzwa spare tyre.

    Angalia mbele huku ukiponya maumivu,Uzuri muda hutibu kila kitu - utamsahau
     
  3. Dreamliner

    Dreamliner JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Jan 17, 2010
    Messages: 2,035
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 135
    Kama unakubali kuwa mke wa pili, olewa.. Otherwise achana na huyo mtu... Angekuwa na mapenzi ya kweli, angekueleza ukweli tangu mwanzo..

    Ngoja waje wataalamu zaidi akina lizzy na wengineo.
     
  4. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Jul 14, 2010
    Messages: 21,711
    Likes Received: 33
    Trophy Points: 145
    Sidhani hata kama kuna haja ya kufikiria mara mbili as long as umeishaprove tayari just move ahead time heals, suije ukageuka spare tairi bure ukawa unatumika tu ukifiri labda things will change one day, there is more ahead of you muombe Mungu akusaidie na hatimaye utafanikiwa kupata mtu mwingine atakayekupenda zaidi na mabaye unaweza kuanza naye maisha ila kwa huyu its just history
     
  5. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2010
    Messages: 3,308
    Likes Received: 505
    Trophy Points: 280
    mmmh,jamani kweli m.me anaweza akaoa kwa kulazimishwa?hiyo ni danganya toto yake,shituka mapeeeeema,tafuta ustaarabu wako taratibu,usikubali kuwa another woman,ukajizibia rizki yako kwa wengine.maumivu yako yatakwisha,ipo siku utapata wako na utajinafasi kwa raha zako.ukiendelea kuwa nae huyo utasononeka kila siku.maisha yenyewe mafupi
     
  6. Nyadhiwa

    Nyadhiwa JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Jun 21, 2010
    Messages: 262
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 35
    Pole sana dada Mkarolina kwa yaliyokukuta.
    Pia nakupongeza kwa moyo wako wa uvumilivu maana kwa jambo kama hilo siyo rahisi kabiosa kuweka chembe ya uvumilivu.

    Huyo jamaa ndo ameshaoa hivo hakuna tena nafasi yako...Jitahidi tu kujipanga upya mungu hawezi kukuacha peke yako...
    Huenda mungu kakuepushia jambo hasa ukizingatia yeye ndo muweza wa yote.
     
  7. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 23,718
    Likes Received: 396
    Trophy Points: 180
    Pole mamii ila huyo mwanaume anataka kukufanya nyumba ndogo.
    Mwanaume hata siku moja haoi kwa kujilazimisha au kulazimishwa kama ilivyo kwa wanawake.
    Mimi iliwahi kunikuta, kuna mkaka alikuwa ananifukuzia na gia zake za ndoa. Kumbe yule mtu alikuwa na demu wake ila hakuniambia. Akaja akampa mimba yule demu. Alipozaa mkaka akaniambia amezaa na mwanamke mwingine ila nimkubali tu na niwe tayari kuishi na mwanae kwakuwa aliyezaa nae hampendi.
    Imeendaaa... kaniita tena akaniambia ameamua tu kumuoa yule yule.
    Nikamwambia hamna neno...
    Cha kushangaza ameshaoa ila bado anadai ananipenda anataka tuwe wote.
    Khaaa!
    Wanaume nyie!!
    Stuka mdada. Unadanganywa. Halafu kashakua mume wa mtu inabidi uiheshimu ndoa yake.
    Nafikiri mungu amekuandalia mume mwema zaidi.
     
  8. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
    Messages: 7,289
    Likes Received: 25
    Trophy Points: 145
    :A S 13:pole sana sana,najua unaumia na unahisi kusalitiwa sana....mumeo mtarajiwa na wazazi wake ndo wamesha fanya visivyo.....nakushauri achia tu ngazi,tulia na ukizidi kujipa moyo, huyo hakuwa wako......kwanza amekudanganya sana,sijui utawezaje kumuamini tena? hakuna ndoa bila kuaminiana.....kwa hatua mliyofikia hakupaswa kukudanganya.....nakushauri achana nae.....kama ulivyokutana na huyo,utakutana na mwingine tu ambaye atakuthamini na kukuheshimu.Mungu akupe nguvu wakati huu mgumu,na akusaidie kuamua lililo sahihi.
     
  9. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
    Messages: 2,056
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 135
    Pole sana mamy.... nadhani unahitaji kukubali ukweli na kuangalia maisha yako ya mbele, wazazi wakishaingilia tu hamtoweza tena kuwa pamoja kwa raha!! Angalia wenzako tunavo-enjoy!!
     
  10. Mo-TOWN

    Mo-TOWN JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Oct 11, 2010
    Messages: 1,451
    Likes Received: 41
    Trophy Points: 145
    Dada pole sana kwa yaliyokutokea! Usiufanye moyo wako kuwa mgumu. Moyo unakwambia achana naye nafsi inakataa. Move on achana naye huyo si mkweli kabisa!
     
  11. J

    J Lee Member

    #11
    Feb 27, 2011
    Joined: Dec 14, 2010
    Messages: 60
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Pole sana ndugu najua unaumia sana, ila unapaswa kuchukua maamuz magumu lakini muhimu kwa mustakabal wa maisha yako, jambo sahihi kwa maisha yako kwa sasa ni ww kujiweka pembeni, kwan huyo mlikutana tu na upendo ukajengeka, usisononeke sana utampata mwingine mtakaye pendana zaid.
     
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Pole sana mpendwa!!
    Kusema ukweli hapo hama cha kuprove....cha kuangalia...cha kuvumilia wala cha kusubiri!!
    Unachotakiwa ni kukubali kwamba kilichotokea kimetokea na hamna kinachoweza kubadilisha ili uendelee na maisha yako huku ukiwa na matumaini kwamba atakuja tu atakaekupenda na kukubali wewe.

    Kama kweli hakutaka kumuoa huyo msichana aliyelazimishwa na wazazi asingemuoa....sidhani kama alishikiwa mtutu mpaka kanisani/msikitini usema aliogopa asipofuata atauwawa.Asikudanganye kabisa.....alafu anataka muendelee vipi na uchumba wakati yeye ni mume wa mtu??Tafuta jinsi ya kupeteza mawasiliano nae kwa muda utulize moyo wako!!!
    Pole tena na tena!!!
     
  13. Zasasule

    Zasasule JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Aug 12, 2009
    Messages: 1,008
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 135
    pole.ila hapo huna chako,huyo jamaa anaweza akawa anakumind lakini anafata wazazi wake.hapo kwa wewe kuolewa cdhani,muendelee uchumba,wewe utakuwa nyumba ndogo.i recomend mwache,tafuta m2 mwenye malengo na wewe.i guec da guy atakuwa muhindi au muarab if am nt mistaken..open your eyes sister..
     
  14. Wakumwitu

    Wakumwitu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Jan 22, 2011
    Messages: 373
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 35
    Jamani mm niulize kidogo, hivi dunia ya leo na kizazi cha dot.com kuna mtu wa kumlazimisha mtu kuoa??? Moja, huyo aliyekuwa mchumba wako hana msimamo binafsi. Pili, ana longolongo ambazo zimepitwa na wakati. Tatu, kama anaweza kuamliwa na wazazi wake mtu wa kuishi naye iko siku ataambiwa akufukuze na yeye atatii. Ni ulimbukeni uliokithiri eti mtu analazimishwa kuoa na wazazi wake naye anakubali. Kwani hao wazazi ndio wataaishi na huyo mwanamke??? Dada yangu.. bora angekuambia ukweli bila kuficha labda tungemuelewa ili ushike hamsini zako mapema. Kwanza kakudanganya alafu anajidai anakupenda, upendo wa wapi huo????

    Ushauri:: Chapa mwendo kama humjui vile, fanya kazi maana huyo kwa sasa ndiyo awe mumeo mpaka pale utakapompata akupendae kwa dhati. Pia usikulupuke kulipiza kisasi ili mladi umepata mtu tulia kabisa, utapata atakayekupenda.
     
  15. Washawasha

    Washawasha JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Aug 7, 2006
    Messages: 8,368
    Likes Received: 146
    Trophy Points: 160
    Mtu kuoa haimaanishi unayemuoa ndiye unayempenda zaidi hilo nalipinga,huyo jamaa kaoa ndio lkn ww bado anakupenda na yule mwengine ataendelea kuwa mkewe. Narudi kwa dada yangu we kama unampenda jamaa kubali kuwa nyumba ndogo sababu familia yake haikukubali usilazimishe watakuroga bure au kama uko nchi za bunduki watakuua bure. Tafuta bwana mwingine. Stahamili japo unaumia
     
  16. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
    Messages: 3,013
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Nimewahi kusikia habari moja kaka mmoja alikufa kifo cha mashaka ambayo yalihusishwa na mambo ya mahusiano kama haya.

    Kina kaka acheni kuchezea nafsi za wadada/wanawake, mtakuja kupatwa na vifo visivyokuwa vya mpango wa Mungu. Jitambueni, jieleweni mnataka nini jamani.
    Nasikia kuna kauli mbiu inasema (TUKOSE WOTE).

    Dada we jipe moyo, mshukuru Mungu kwa yote yawezekana kuna kitu Mungu anakuepusha nacho. Maisha lazima yaendelee.
     
  17. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Huyo mwanaume anaonyesha hana msimamo mara wewe mara wazazi.

    Achana nae anza mbele hana msimamo kabisa.
     
  18. e

    ejogo JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Dec 19, 2009
    Messages: 994
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 35
    Mnajua haya mambo inategemea umelelewaje kwenye familia yako. Kama ulilelewa kwa kufuata amri ya wazazi kwa kila kitu na ulishazoea kukubali tu mawazo yao hata kama ulikuwa hufurahishwi na uhamuzi, nadhani hata wakikuambia oa mke huyu sometimes inakuwa ngumu kupinga. Kutokana na maelezo yako nadhani jamaa alishatafutiwa huyu mke na labda alikuwa kweli hampendi ndio maana akakupeleka wewe kujaribu ku oppose proposal ya wazee wake. lakini kutokana na background ya makuzi yake inaonekana ameshindwa kuhimili pressure za wazee. Being saying that, nakushauri lala mbele.

    Mind u that, kuna baadhi ya makabila hata kama utaoa kwenye kabila jingine lakini lazima pia uoe kwenye kabila lako. Sasa kama jamaa yako yupo kwenye mojawapo ya makabila hayo, inakubidi uchague tu kama uendelee na jamaa na muwe wake wawili au ulale mbele!

    All the best!
     
  19. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Sep 16, 2008
    Messages: 23,951
    Likes Received: 524
    Trophy Points: 280
    aisee...pole!

    huyo dada achape tu lapa...
     
  20. Askofu

    Askofu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 28, 2011
    Joined: Feb 14, 2009
    Messages: 1,668
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 133
    Pole sana dada, Mungu ana makusudi yake kwa kila jambo.
    Inawezekana amekuepusha na mengi. Usiache kusali atakuonyesha njia
     
Loading...