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Naomba ushauri pls pls.........

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mwana Mpotevu, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #1
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Wanajamvi
    Nilikuwa na Mpenzi wangu ambaye tumekuwa katika mapenzi kwa muda mrefu sanaa, ni karibu miaka sita. katikati ya uhusiano wetu alipata ujauzito na tuna mtoto mmoja ana miaka minne lakini hatujaoana. kuanzia mwaka jana tabia za huyo mpenzi wangu zimekuwa zikibadilika sana na inaonekana kama amekuwa na kiburi kwa kiasi kikubwa na hakuna tena mapenzi kama zamani. Kutokana na hali hiyo na jitihada za kuokoa penzi letu ninavyoona linazidi kwenda kombo, nimeamua kuanzisha uhusiano na dada mwingine ili ikiwezekana nije nifunge naye ndoa huku nikiangalia mwelekeo wa yule wa kwanza pia kama atabadilika na kurejea kwenye mstari kama zamani au la.

    Uhusiano wangu mpya una kama mwaka mmoja kasoro, Nilimwambia ukweli huyu mpenzi wangu mpya kwamba nina mtoto toka kwa mpenzi wangu wa awali ambaye naona kama mahusiano yanakwenda kombo. Kwahiyo tumeingia katika mapenzi huku akijua kuwa nina mtoto mmoja na yeye akaniambia ana mtoto mmoja alizaa miaka sita iliyopita na mtoto huyo anaishi na dadake kwa sasa.

    Katika siku za hivi karibuni, huyu mpenzi wangu mpya amefanya kitu ambacho ndio kimenisukuma kuomba ushauri hapa jamvini. Amemuandikia mpenzi wangu wa awali ujumbe kwenye FB (inbox) akimwambia kuhusu mimi kuwa na uhusiano na mdada mwingine (hakutaka kujitaja kwamba ni yeye lakini description alizozitaja za huyo mdada ni wazi alikuwa anajitaja yeye mwenyewe). Na mbaya zaidi amemwambia mambo mengi kuhusu mimi na yeye na pia amemwambia namna (huyo mpenzi wangu mpya) alivyokuja kwangu na vitu alivyovikuta na hata ramani ya vyumba vyangu ilivyo huku akidai kahadithiwa na mpenzi wangu mpya yote hayo (lakini ukweli ni yeye mwenyewe mwandishi wa msg ndie huyo mpenzi wangu mpya).

    Mwisho akamshauri eti aachane kabisa na mimi maana sitaweza kumsaidia lolote katika masiaha yake na aangalie maisha mapya. Mimi nilionyeshwa kwa macho yangu hiyo msg na gf wangu wa mwanzo na jinsi ilivyoandikwa sikuwa na shaka nikajua fika kuwa aliyeandika ni yuleyule mpenzi wangu mpya maana ameandika mambo ya ndani sanaaaaa ambayo si rahisi mtu zaidi ya sie wawili kujua.

    Nilipojaribu kumuuliza yule mpenzi wangu mpya kuhusu ujumbe ule, akakana na kusema kuna siku alikutana na rafiki yake mmoja akamdokeza kuhusu uhusiano wetu, na akasema huenda huyo rafiki yake ndio aliyeandika hayo yote na akawa akijiapiza kuwa huyo rafiki yake eti anataka kusababisha uhusiano wetu mimi na yeye ufe. Nashindwa kuamini sana kwa jinsi mambo yaliyo kwenye ule ujumbe yanavyoeleza maana ni mambo ya ndani sana kiasi kwamba sio rahisi kwa mtu kumwabia rafiki yake mambo hayo.

    Najikuta nimechanganyikiwa nini lengo la huyu mpenzi wangu mpya kuandika jambo kama lile kwa mpenzi wangu wa zamani. Sijawahi kumdokeza kwamba nataka kumuoa lakini tumekuwa katika mapenzi muda sasa na ukweli natafuta mtu wa uhakika nitayetaka kumuoa. Naomba ushauri wenu huyu mtu wa pili ananifaa kweli na nini lengo lake kuandika mambo yetu kwa mpenzi wangu wa zamani??

    Naombeni msinishambulie kwa kuwa na wapenzi wawili maana nimewapa scenario iliyonifanya niingie katika uhusiano na huyu wa pili baada ya yule wa kkwanza kubadilika kitabia, sasa huyu wa pili naye ananichanganya nashindwa kumuelewa sasa.
     
  2. mdoe

    mdoe JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Huyo wa pili anagombania kushika main position. Unadhani anafurahia kukaa kwenye standby? Anachofanya usimlaumu. Ni katika harakati za kushika namba moja.
     
  3. double R

    double R JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Hayo mambo ya kawaida kwa wake wenza. chagua mmoja uanze upya. ila nina walakini na huyo wa pili, mara nyingi mwanamke akishazaa mwanaume yoyote atakayeonesha harufu ya kuoa humng'angania kisawasawa hata kama hampendi. Huyo mliyezaa naye anaweza akawa anakupenda nahisi angekuwa anatafuta sababu muaachane hiyo ilitosha kabisa kusema "it's over"
     
  4. Mihayo

    Mihayo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Fanya Home work yako kwani hakuna kosa kama kosa la kukosea kuoa mtu asiyestahili. Ukiona anayefaa endela na huyo ukiona hawafai wote. Achana nao Kuanza upya si ujinga usioe only because una please mtu utakuja juta sana huko mbeleni. Ndoa ni for life wala huwezi kuja jisahihisha baadae, ikisha toka imetoka
     
  5. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #5
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Thanks Double R, tatizo huyu wa kwanza amebadilika sana hadi nakata tamaa, anadiriki hata kuanzisha kitu kama mradi bila kunishirikisha hata kidogo na nikimuuliza anasema kila mtu ana mambo yake binafsi. Sio kwamba ningemkataza isipokuwa kuniarifu tu ingetosha na zamani hakuwa hivi. Hiyo ndio ikanifanya hata kutafuta ustaarabu mpya pamoja na kuwa tuna mtoto, lakini nashukuru sana kwa ushauri wako
     
  6. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #6
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Asante Mihayo kwa ushauri na nimejitahidi kufanya home work hadi kichwa kinauma maana huyu wa pili kitendo chake cha kumuandikia yule wa kwanza ndo kikanikatisha tamaa kabisa maana sijui nia yake nini
     
  7. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #7
    Feb 20, 2012
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    hiyo njia anayotumia ndio inanipa shaka kama ina heri ama inalenga kuleta shari zaidi
     
  8. E

    Edo JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Inanikumbusha jamaa yangu mmoja aliyesema akina dada siku zote waambie uongo kwa kwenda mbele, ukijidai kuweka wazi kila kitu ndio matatizo haya yaliyokukuta ! Sasa we tulia maana wote wawili wanaijua ishu, we kaa angalia reactions za kila mmoja, wewe unakua kama jaji wao hapo ndo mahali pa wewe kupata sifa!
     
  9. Negrodemus

    Negrodemus JF Gold Member

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    Feb 20, 2012
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    uwezi ukasummarize?
     
  10. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #10
    Feb 20, 2012
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    kwa wenye tabia za madenge kuandika mistari ya bongo fleva kwenye mtihani ni ngumu kusoma, na hata wakisoma hawaelewi maana wamezoa njia za mikato
     
  11. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #11
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Ni kweli inawezekana kumwambia kwangu ukweli huyu dada wa pili ikawa imeniponza maana kaamua kufanya mambo yasiyoeleweka kabisaaaaa
     
  12. m

    mkazamjomba Member

    #12
    Feb 20, 2012
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    sioni hata mwenye kustahili ndoa kama anaanza kutoa siri hafai tafuta mwenye kifua kaka
     
  13. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Anakusaidia kumwondoa huyo wa kwanza ili yeye peke yake....si una mpango wa kuoa? Chezea kuolewa wewe!
     
  14. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Kaazi kweli kweli!
    Sasa huzuni yako kumbe yule wa 'zamani' bado yuko kwa picha? Mjini kugumu sana jamani, kha!
     
  15. platozoom

    platozoom JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Uko kwenye mtanziko mkubwa..ushauri wa kwanza - tulia punguza kabisa mawasiliano na huyu wa pili ili uone reaction yake,usifanye papara.Kwa Huyu wa kwanza jishughulishe na mtoto wako basi, acha aendelee na maisha yake kama ambavyo amekudokeza.

    Hakuna jambo baya kama ku-deal na watu wasiojali feelings zako...hawajali kama vitendo wanavyovifanya vinakuumiza au la.Tulia mkuu..mambo mazuri hayataki papara
     
  16. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 20, 2012
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    Inawezekana huyo wa kwanza anakuona unamzingua tu, ndio maana anaona ajianzishie miradi ili awe na uwezo wa kujikimu kimaisha yeye na mtoto wake. Kwa haraka haraka naweza kusema wewe ndio huna mapenzi ya kweli kwake kwa sababu hujawa mvumilivu.

    Je ni hatua gani umechukua kumshauri na kuongea juu ya hicho unachokisema kabadilika? Je wewe ulipoanzisha uhusiano mwingine ulimwambia? Na je kama vile wewe ulivyo na uhusiano na mtu mwingine yeye anao uhusiano na mtu mwingine zaidi yako?

    Umemshauri na kumuonya kwa muda gani hata ukaamua kumchanganya kwenye uhusiano? Umemwambia kwamba tabia zako mbaya siwezi kuwa na wewe ila nina mwanamke mwingine?

    Mbona yeye alipoona huo utumbo wa huyo binti, hakufanya ushari wala kutukana, wala kukutukana wewe akakuonesha?

    Think!!!!! Mi naona wewe ndio hujielewi hata kidogo. Huyo mama mtoto wala hana makuu, itakuwa kakusoma kakuona waru waru akaamua ajiimarishe kimaisha tu.

    Kama vipi mweleze ukweli umuache alee mtoto wake, na wewe uendelee na huyo mshari wako. Tena kwa taarifa yako huyo binti wa pili hana hana roho ya kulea mtoto ambaye hajamzaa........asingeweza kukuanika hivyo kwa mama mtoto wako. Ahiii angalia manake mie wanaume Vigeu geu na wasio na msimamo wa maisha katika mahusiano nawachukia na kuwaogopa kama Malaria :(
     
  17. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 20, 2012
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    mpendwa LD umeongea ,maneno ya msingi sana,ubarikiwe,isipokuwa kwa hako ka red tu,du,tumekukosea nini?
     
  18. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #18
    Feb 20, 2012
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    asante kwa maneno yako mazuri nayaheshimu. sikuwa na nafasi ya kusema kila kitu hapa maana ningechukua nafasi kubwa hata kusoma ungeshindwa. lakini nimetoa mfano mmoja tu wa mambo anayonifanyia huyo mpenzi wangu wa awali, lakini kuna mengi ikiwa ni pamoja na hata kufukia kuwa na uhusiano wa kimapenzi na rafiki yangu na niligundua hilo na akaomba radhi. yako mengi lakini pamoja na yote hayo bado nimekuwa mvumilivu mwaka wa sita huu hadi ninapoona kama huko tunakoelekea si shwari na umri wa kuoa unazidi kuyoyoma ndipo nikaona niangalia upande mwingine. Nimeshakaa naye several times na kuongea naye, tuki-solve kitu leo, after sometime kinarejea upya hadi najikuta nachoka. hadi kufikia kuanzisha uhusiano mpya nimevumilia mengi sanaa toka kwake lakini nimefikia kukata tamaa
     
  19. Mwana Mpotevu

    Mwana Mpotevu Platinum Member

    #19
    Feb 20, 2012
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    asante mkuu nitakaa chini na kujipanga upya kisha kuchukua hatua
     
  20. bibikuku

    bibikuku JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 20, 2012
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    kuanza upya si ujinga!
     
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