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Naomba ushauri juu ya hili

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by mdida, May 4, 2012.

  1. mdida

    mdida JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 4, 2012
    Joined: Jul 14, 2011
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    Mimi ni mwanamke wa aged 30 nina watoto watatu ambao umri wao ni 10, 8 and 10.
    Tatizo lililosababisha mpaka kuamua kuandika hili ni kwamba niko njia panda katika mahusiano yangu na mzazi mwenzangu. Huyu mwanaume amekuwa akiyapuuza majukumu yake ya msingi hasa ya kutunza familia, mwanzoni tulipoana alikuwa anatunza familia kwa muda miaka mitatu hivi alibadilika na kuanza kurudi saa sita usiku, siku nyingine anarudi saa kumi asubuhi akiwa amelewa sana, nikajitahidi sana kumwomba aache hiyo tabia lakini hakuacha. Kipato tulichokuwa nacho kikaishia kwenye pombe mie nikabaki ninahangaika na biashara ndogo ndogo ya kuuza karanga na ubuyu nilichokipata watoto tunakula wote, akawa hashikiki akirudi nyumbani anasearch ndani akikuta kamtaji kangu anaondoka nako atapombeka mpaka kesho yake. Basi nikawambia familia yangu kuhusu huu mwanendo lakini niliambiwa vumilia, baadae nilipata hela kidogo kutokana na biashara yangu nikajiendeleza kusoma computer sikumaliza program zote hela ikaisha, basi ilipofika mwaka 2008 nikapata kibarua kwenye Company furahi (Jina sitataja) nikaimarisha maisha yetu pale nyumbani. Tatizo linalonishangaza ni kwamba huyu mwanaume kila nikimpa mtaji afenye biashara anakula, nimeshampa kama mara tatu hivi, watoto nawahudumia mm , JE NIKIMWACHA NITAKUWA NIMEFANYA VIBAYA? Kwa sababu hata nikiongela juu ya maisha yetu anasema mm niamue nitakavyo , yaani uamuzi ni juu yangu kuachana au kuendelea kuishi.
     
  2. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 4, 2012
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    kaa nae ni baba wa nyumbani huyo....
     
  3. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 4, 2012
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    You have my blessings, you have done your part and didn't change him since you're independent and he doesnt add much to the upbringing of the family show him the door.
     
  4. D

    DOOKY JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 4, 2012
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    Usimuache, kumbuka mlikotoka pia nyinyi ni mwili mmoja, lakini pia maisha hubadilika na tabia ya mtu pia. Usimweke chini . Omba Mungu atakufanya yote njia ni kumlilia Mungu yeye ndiye aliyekupa huyo mume.picha usitangaze mambo yenu nje huwezi jua hao wa nje wanakutetaje huko
     
  5. St. Paka Mweusi

    St. Paka Mweusi JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 4, 2012
    Joined: Sep 3, 2010
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    Samahani kwa ushauri wangu kama utawakwaza wengine.UNACHOMCHELEWESHA NI NINI,FUKUZA,FUKUZA TENA ASIRUDI TENA MAISHANI MWAKO. Ulevi ni ugonjwa ambao unamharibia mtu maisha yake na familia pia kama anayo,na vilevile unachukua muda mrefu sana kupona.Shukuru mungu kama utakuwa mzima maana hujui huko anakolewa na kukurudia usiku wa manane huwa anakuwa na akina nani.
     
  6. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 4, 2012
    Joined: Nov 28, 2010
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    Unaonaje ukimpeleka kwenye maombi akaombewe?
    Hiyo ni addiction na ni ugonjwa kama mengine!

    Hivi mtoto wako akiwa drug addict utamdis-own?

    Anahitaji matibabu huyo; unless uniambie anachukua pesa anaenda kuhonga wanawake wengine!
     
  7. IGWE

    IGWE JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 4, 2012
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    Talking of our blessings_mbona nyie mkiwa hamchangii majukumu hatuwaachi...acha mawazo hayo...aendelee kumlea mzee.
     
  8. HOPECOMFORT

    HOPECOMFORT JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 4, 2012
    Joined: Feb 25, 2012
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    Sawa kabisa suluisho sio kumuacha kwani hata ukisema umpate mwingine uwezi jua atakua wa namna gani. Play Part yako kama mama na yake pia. Muombe Mungu akupe uvumilivu na pia usisahau kumuombea kwa Mungu ambadilishe
     
  9. Zabibu

    Zabibu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 4, 2012
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    Pole sana dada kwa hayo unayoyapitia,nakuombea MUNGU akusaidie ufanye maamuzi sahihi
     
  10. PetCash

    PetCash JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 4, 2012
    Joined: Mar 20, 2012
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    Kwanza pole bibie! Pili hongera sana, wewe ni jembe- mfano mzuri wa kuigwa kwa wanawake wote (unafaa kuwa reference kwenye mafunzo ya kitchen party)
    Unajua nini kitakufanya kuwa exceptional? Its time to stand up, fasten your waist with your kanga and do these;
    1) Tafuta tiba ya ulevi wa mmeo na tiba ya inferiority complex aliyoijenga baada ya wewe kumuonesha how useless he is.
    (kwa sababu ukimwacha ukaenda kwa mwingine huo naye anaweza kukupa changamoto nyingine ukarudi back to square one. Mend his brokenness through prayers and advices from elders).
    2) Uwe mvumilivu na ikiwezekana utengane naye kwa muda ili umsaidie kuona atakachokimiss iwapo hata straighten up
    (Hata Mungu huitumia hii technique: By walking you through lack of something He makes you learn how to cherish the thing when you get it)
    3) Yani ukishamstraighten up huyo mumewe akaitwa mwanaume kati ya wanaume- Atakupenda hakuna mfano, He will take care of you, dedicated to you kwa sababu anajua hakuna mwanamke atakayempenda kama wewe kwa sababu uliishi naye wakati thamani yake ikigaragara kwenye vumbi (mwenywe umeona wenzio wamekushauri umuache)

     
  11. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 4, 2012
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    A man is meant to be provider, kama hafulfull his duties without any reason its too much for a woman to handle. Sasa endelee kulelewa na huku anachapa maji akirudi nyumba ategemee kuwa chakula kipo. Asilalamike ikiwa mama atakapoanza kugawa nje.
     
  12. H

    Helios JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 4, 2012
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    A man is meant to be a provider and bado mnataka usawa. hiyo inaaply zamani during cave age. wanawake na wanaume washiriki katika uzalishaji mali ila ikija majukumu ni mwanaume. duh!!!!
     
  13. nameless girl

    nameless girl JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 4, 2012
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    nafikiri kwasasa wewe unatakiwa kukazia katika kufanya kazi na kutengeneza future ya watoto wako, hilo ndilo la muhimu kwako, huyo baba kwa upande wangu, mimi nadhani ni vizuri kukaa nae mbali mpaka pale atakapobadili tabia kwasababu sidhani kama anawatendea watoto haki, anawafundisha nini watoto! ni muhimu sana kutotengana lakini kwa tabia hii utaishia kuwa na watoto wenye tabia kama za baba yao. Akae pembeni utengeneze lyf mama. Nina imani kuwa atajibadilisha endapo atakuwa na akili baada ya kukaa nae mbali sababu sasa hivi bado unampa kasapot kidogo ka kuendelea kunywa.
    By the way nisiwe mchoyo wa kukupa hongera zako za kusonga mbele bila kujali mwanaume. HONGERA MAMA.:clap2:
     
  14. mgeni10

    mgeni10 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 4, 2012
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    Mungu aliekukutanisha nae ana makusudi na kila linalotokea

    Piga Magoti Mwambie Mungu amkarabati upya na kumfanya awe baba wa watoto wako kwa kuwajibika kwao

    Ni Mungu Wa kufanya na si akili zetu

    USIMUACHE maana Mungu wetu atamrekebisha ukiomba kwa kumaanisha
     
  15. Shukurani

    Shukurani JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 4, 2012
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    Hapo ndipo ambapo huwa nawaheshimu saana dada zetu na mama zetu, uvumilivu wa matendo mengi saana yasiyopendeza toka kwa boyfriends and waume zao. Umenikumbusha siku nyingi sana za ndoa ya wazazi wangu, japo mzee hakuwa cha pombe kivile hila halikuwa anasahau majukumu yake.
    Nini cha kufanya? Kwa sasa kubwa sana katika maisha yako ni maisha ya baadaye kwa watoto wako, hili ndilo la msingi. Huyu aliyeamua kuwa cha pombe si wa muhimu sana kwa sasa, kwani maisha yake yeye ndiyo yameishia hapa na usifikiri kutakuwa na madiliko ya maana toka kwa mumeo. Amua sasa kuachana naye na uweke mawazo yako kwa watoto wako na uwatengenezee kesho yao, hiki ndicho mama yangu aliamua kufanya na ndiyo maana leo, she is proud of the decision she made, baada ya kuachana na mzee wangu, alitumia muda mwingi sana kutafuta na kutuendeleza kielimu na wote tukafikia university level and some in PhD training now.
    Amua kuachana na huyu mwendawazimu na weka mawazo yako katika kuendeleza watoto wako, kesho yao ipo mikononi mwako na maisha yako ya uzeeni yatakuwa mikononi mwao iwapo kesho yao utaindaa vizuri kwa kuachana na huyu baba mlevi
     
  16. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 4, 2012
    Joined: Feb 9, 2012
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    Hongera sana kwa uvumilivu wako,mi naona inatosha sasa..huyo ukimwendekeza atakuharibia mpaka kazi unayoitegemea enough is enough,endelea na maisha yako na wanao,kama hana mchango wowote kwenye maisha yako wa nini sasa??
     
  17. Dr.Chichi

    Dr.Chichi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 4, 2012
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    Wanaume kama hawa make the rest of us responsible men look bogus.mbona mi nakunywa tena sana but naijali familia yangu?aache uvivu or else mteme
     
  18. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #18
    May 4, 2012
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    sikiliza moyo wako......
    Ila acha kumpa mtaji....
    Jenga maisha yako na wanao......

    Kwa ufupi hapo huna mume, una 'mume jina'
     
  19. MADAM T

    MADAM T JF-Expert Member

    #19
    May 4, 2012
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    Utakuwa hujafanya vibaya, ila na wewe usiolewe...
     
  20. next

    next JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 5, 2012
    Joined: Nov 2, 2007
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    ni kaul za kufedhehesha sana unaposema akumbuke walikotoka, its like huyu mama anamuonea mme mlevi asie fanya ata kazi,
    kuna baadhi ya wanaume huwa tu wanatamani kulala na mwanamke na anaona njia nzuri ya kufanya ivo ni kuoa.
    mama wee, tupa kule huyo, watoto watatu, ndoa zaid ya miaka kumi, atabadilika lini? at his 60‘s?
     
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