i have been in a relationship with a lovely man for 3 years. tulipofika miaka miwili na nusu nikatamani tufunge ndoa lakini mwenzangu hakuwa tayari. mapenzi yangu kwake yakapungua mno, yeye akapata mwingine lakini hakuniambia. hata mimi mwishowe nikapata mwingine lakini na mimi pia sikumwambia. yeye akaamua amuache mwenzake na kurudia penzi letu; wakati huu mimi nikawa nimeshanogewa na mpenzi wangu mpya. sikuweza kumrudia tena. tukaachana. uhusiano wangu mpya haukumudu muda mrefu (we were together 6 months or so). mpenzi wangu mpya akawa mgumu wa communication, he is moody; i am a loving and affectionate person but i realised later that although he is affectionate and loving his love is serious. he is a very serious person and i tend to take things easy sana.... i became unhappy sana. in the mean time my old love akaniomba turudiane nikakubali. baada ya miezi mitano vipi my old love proposed marriage to me and i said yes. although deep inside i knew i had some feelings for the other guy. i continued seeing the other guy. i know it was wrong to, but i just coudnt help it. sasa hivi, nimeshidwa kuendelea na uchumba as i think its unfair to continue with the marriage arrangements when i feel like i love this other person. i do love my fiance but... sijui ni nini kinanifanya nisite. last week i broke up my engagement because i just couldnot go on with the stress of loving two men. needless to say i have broken someone's heart so badly. his family (who used to love me) now dont even want to hear my name mentioned. all this time i have been on/off with the 'new' guy. sometimes i see a future in us and we are becoming closer, lakini kuna wakati mwingine anafanya mambo ya ajabu sana. mpaka naanza kujiuliza "ivi kweli huyu mtu ananipenda?" hakuniambia nivunje uchumba wangu lakini niliamua kumwambia kwamba sasa hivi niko single ili asithani bado niko na mpenzi wangu wa zamani. nilimwambia (kuhusu breaking my engagement) wiki iliyopita lakini mpaka sasa naona yuko kimya tu. anasema he was not "listening to me" when i was telling him about breaking up my engagement (sijui anatania?). tangu nimwambie haya mambo, naona kama tabia yake imebadilika kidogo. na sasa naona kama nitakua nimekosea kuachana na mchumba wangu. is it too soon to say this? natamani sana kumrudia mchumba wangu. lakini hata sijui nianzie wapi. wana JamiiForum wenzangu... mimi nina matatizo gani? nimrudie mpenzi wangu sasa hivi au ningoje kidogo hasira yake kwangu ipungue? na huyu jamaa mwingine, nikae kimya mpaka yeye aje kwangu? au nimwambie what is his plan na mimi? au mimi i am not fit to be with anyone?