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Nani anatakiwa abadilike mimi au mke wangu?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by PI, Oct 7, 2009.

  1. P

    PI New Member

    #1
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Wapendwa,
    Ni sisi wale wa miaka 47 kama wanavyotuita. Nina miaka 10 na watoto mchakato! tatizo ni kuwa tulioana tukiwa pale na sasa tuko hapa. Nimepitia maisha ya aina mbalimbali nchi mbalimbali magharibi na mashariki. Mwisho nimefika mahali ambapo ninaheshimika. Nimejaribu pia mke wangu abadili mtazamo wake kwa maisha ya leo. Bahati mbaya hataki kubadili mtazamo wako. Leo ninapenda mke wangu awe classic kama akina Michelle. Natamani awe na confidence katika kila anachokifanya. Akitembea asijihisi na kutembea kama mama wa kijijini! Akiongea asiwe anajishuku shuku. Akiwa na rafiki zetu asiwe na mkao wa mwambao! mnanielewa. Hivyo nimeongea sana hili. Lakini amenihakikishia kuwa hawezi kujitesa na kuwa kama Michelle Obama. Atakuwa Habiba kama zamani. Mavazi je mke wangu, vipi huoni suruali kama inakuweka uwe na uhuru hasa tukiwa kwenye viwanja hivi.

    maongezi yetu ya mwisho yalikuwa hivi:
    MKE: Mbona Mr X hakupiga picha na mke wake wakati kila moja ana mke wake?
    MIMI: Nadhani mke wake asingeweza kuingia katika jumuiko hilo maana nadhani lugha na class yake iko chini.
    MKE: Sasa kwa nini alimuona kama si wa class yake?
    MIMI: Alimuoa miaka 13 iliyopita wakati wakiwa katika class inayoendana. lakini sasa mme ni mtu wa watu na ngazi ya juu.
    MKE: Huko ni kutojiamini tu.
    MIMI: Asiyejiamini ni mume au mke?
    MKE: Mimi siwezi kuteseka na kuwa kama mtu mwingine nitakuwa kama mimi milele.
    MIMI: Yeah! mabadiliko ni gharama, itabidi ukubali kuwa hivyo hivyo milele.
    WOTE: Kimya.

    Leo ni siku ya tano hatujarejea katika maongezi hayo. Nimeona niiweka hapa ili wenzetu mtusaidie nani abadilike? Mimi au mke wangu?
     
  2. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 7, 2009
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    mkaka unataka kusema kitu gani....mie cjakuelewa kabisa.
     
  3. Lekanjobe Kubinika

    Lekanjobe Kubinika JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Wote mnahitaji kubadilika. Sio mabadiliko ya miaka bali mabadiliko ya akili. Kama mlipendana sana zamani katika mazingira yale, mlitazamiwa kubadilika sawa na mazingira yenu yanavyobadilika kwa pamoja. Nyie mliachana kisaikolojia mahali fulani na sasa inawacost. Mtu asimlaumu mwenzake, bali mkae chini muangalie wapi mlikosea na mjisafishe. Hakuna aliye mzuri kama mwenzi wa ujana wako.

    Unapojilinganisha na mtu wa tatu unajuaje mazingira aliyoyapitia amefaidika nayo kiasi gani? Kama unaona wanafaidika, waalike siku moja mkae kama family friends na wakati wa kumimina glass zungumzeni bayana kubadilishana mawazo, kisha mtaona labda wapi pa kuanzia.

    Waache hao waishi wanavyoishi, ndio maana nyie mkawa nyie na wao wakawa wao. Kama mnaongea kwa namna ulivyojieleza hapo juu, basi ndoa yenu bado imekaa sawa, kilichobaki ni kumwagilia maji na mbolea ili inawiri kwa kufuatana na virutubisho mnavyoviongeza.

    Wewe usipokubali kubadilika utamfanyia isivyo uungwana mwenzako kumtaka yeye ndiye abadilike. Badilika kwanza wewe ili ufanane naye mwenzio, halafu kwa pamoja badilisha mazingira mliyomo ili yaende na wakati mnaoutaka. Usilazimishe naye abadilike kwa speed kama yako, hata darasani tunaelewa kwa uwezo tofauti. Msome mwenzio speed yake, msaidie afikie ulipofikia wewe.

    Leka
     
  4. Shapu

    Shapu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Mhh Nyamayao! Hapa umeniangusha, nini hujaelewa. Mimi nakukubali sana kwenye hizi mada. Mkuu hapa yuko wazi kabisa kwamba Mamsapu wake hataki mambo ya kisasa yaani mabadiliko. Na yeye yuko kwenye next level. So anachouliza ni kwamba yeye abadilike aendane na Mamsapu au ni Mamsapu abadilike awe wa kisasa. Nadhani hiyo ndo dhana kuu.
     
  5. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Hapo wa kubadilika ni mama. Lazima aende na wakati bana. Kama hawezi swahiba tafuta anayeendana na hali halisi ujivinjari naye. Asikuletee za kuleta.
     
  6. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 7, 2009
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    thnx Shapu kwa kunielewesha...paliponichanganya ni hapo kwenye hayo maongezi yao nilikuwa cjayaelewa kabisa....nashukuru!
     
  7. Shapu

    Shapu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Mkuu nimeupenda ushauri wako. Inaonekana wewe ni Mshauri mzuri na una good experience.
     
  8. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Jasiri haachi asili, sidhani kama huyo mama ataweza kubadilika,inawezekana ana misimamo yake na hataki ibadilishwe,hapo jamaa ana kazi kumbadilisha,ajitahidi labda siku moja atafaulu.
     
  9. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 7, 2009
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    ucmpotoshe mwenzako kabisa......kaka nenda nae taratibu! mabadiliko ni muhimu ili wote muende sawa, mchangamshe mitoko ya hapa na pale, mueleweshe mie napenda uonekane hivi au vile, vaa hivi na vile ukifanikiwa hapo utaendelea taratibu na mabadiliko mengineyo ma bro.
     
  10. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    Chrispin ushauri wako kaka,kwa nini mara nyingi huwa unashauri watu watafute mtu mwingine?
     
  11. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Naunga mkono hoja yako Nyamayao.
     
  12. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    Hii ni dunia ya utandawazi binamu. Sasa kama unamsomesha mtu, somo linagoma kuingia. Unaimbisha, wimbo unagoma kuimbika. Unajitahidi kwa kila hali kama alivyosema mkaka lakini hakieleweki. Ona sasa, siku 5 wamekuwa mabubu, wakati mtaani kuna wadada kibao ambao ni wepesi wa kuelewa somo. Lazima tuwe na alternative way ya kusolve problems zetu, vinginevyo tutazeeshwa na misongo ya mawazo.
     
  13. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Wa kubadilika ni wewe wewe mwanaume wakati unaenda na wakati mbona ulimuacha mkeo nyuma??? wa kubadilika ni wewe, yaani urudi miaka kadhaa nyuma, mshike mkono mkeo ndio muende sambamba na wakati.... you transformed too fast!!!
     
  14. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 7, 2009
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    na ndio akili zao za kupombeka hizo, wanawaacha wake majumbani wanatafuta vibinti vya kuuzia sura......
     
  15. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Si umeona mwenyewe? Labda? Yaani aendelee kubembeleza akitegemea labda? Labda? I hate labda. Anatakiwa abadilike, siyo labda atabadilika. Ndiyo maana mi namshauri aangalie na upande mwingine wa shilingi. Asije akafa akisubiria labda.
     
  16. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #16
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    Mmhh do you think this is the right way to solve the problems? alternative zako kwa kweli huwa sizikubali kabisa,hivi ukienda kwenye hiyo alternative ukaikuta nayo ni yale yale kama uliyoyaacha nyumbani utakua umesolve tatizo au umeanzisha tatizo lingine? You have to sit with ur partner and discuss,kama unaona haelekei unamwelimisha taratibu iko siku somo litaingia kichwani.
     
  17. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    Umenikumbusha ka serengeti binamu. lol! Hatujawaacha wake zetu nyumbani, wao ndio wameamua kujiacha nyumbani. Wana miguu, sura nzuri, fedha na kila kitu. Wanabweteka, wanajiachia na kujisahau. Kama huyo anayebembelezwa lakini anagoma, ulitaka achapwe bakora? Acheni hizo bana.
     
  18. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    Yaani sijui wakoje hawa jamaa.
     
  19. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 7, 2009
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    ovyooo kabisa.....unadhani mke/mume ni kama nguo unabadilli utakavyo?
     
  20. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 7, 2009
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    Mkituzoea mtatuelewa halafu mtafurahi sana.
     
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