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Nafasi ya Mwenzi wa kwanza katika Utamaduni wa Mapenzi

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kongosho, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Huwa najiuliza, mwenzi wa kwanza kuwa naye katika mahusiano ana nafasi yeyote katika utamaduni wako wa mahusiano?

    Ni kweli ana nafasi kubwa ya ku-determine do's and dont's katika mapenzi?

    Mfano, kuheshiamiana, jinsi ya kung.onoka.

    Hasa kwa wadada ambao mara nyingi katika maamuzi ya mapenzi huwa wana power ndogo ukilinganisha na wanamme.

    Na je, kwa wanamme hii kitu ipo?


    Hii itatusaidia wenye vibinti kuvisaidia kujitambua zaidi.
     
  2. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

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    mi bikra ngoja wataalamu waje....
     
  3. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

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    Mhhh! Mbona kama inauzwa sokoni?
     
  4. Ndahani

    Ndahani JF-Expert Member

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    Inategemea sana na huyo mpenzi wako wa kwanza alikaa sehemu gani ya moyo wako. However, ni kweli choices za kina dada ni ndogo kwenye mahusiano au mmeamua kuchukua nafasi hiyo bila kupewa rasmi?
     
  5. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Nadhani sijakuelewa mwenzi wa kwanza in what sense.., ?

    Anyway mapenzi ni ya wawili inabidi kupatana hakuna mwenye bigger say kuliko mwenza wake (ni kushauriana kipi napenda na kipi sipendi) mwisho mnafikia makubaliano.., lakini hakuna mtu mwenye say kuhusu mwili au nafsi ya mtu bali mtu mwenyewe
     
  6. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Naamini kila mtu huwa na mtizamo/utamaduni wa kipi unaweza fanya kwa ajili ya mwenza wako na kipi huwezi fanya
    Vitu vidogo vidogo vyote vinavyofanyika kati ya wawili.

    Nitakupa mfano mmoja japo rude kidogo, kwa wanaotumia upande mwingine wa shilingi, hasa kwa binti, inakuwaje anajikuta anafanya hivyo?

    Je vitabia kama hivi vinahusiana na mtu wa kwanza kukutana naye? Maana ndio anaku-introduce katika mahusiano na kile anachojua au kufanya ndio utakiona sahihi zaidi?


     
  7. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Hii nafasi unaweza jichukulia pale unapokuwa mzoefu katika mahusiano. Lakini kwa mgeni yeyote, wachache sana wanajua wanachotaka kufanya na kipi hawataki kufanya.

    Au naweza sema wanafuata mkumbo tu.

     
  8. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Mwenzi wa kwanza anaweza akakufanya uione dunia chungu au tamu. Ana nafasi kubwa na muhimu kama mwalimu wa chekechea alivyo na nafasi kwa vitoto.
     
  9. BAGAH

    BAGAH JF-Expert Member

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    waaat?...bikra ya wapi aloo?
     
  10. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Nadhani hapa inategemea likes and dislikes.., kama mpenzi wako wa kwanza alikuwa Nightmare.., sidhani kama utapenda kile mlichofanya na kama wa kumi ndio alikuwa bora (anakupatia likes zako zote) nina uhakika utapenda huyo wa kumi na kusahau huyu wa kwanza

    Anyway, nina uhakika kila mtu kuna his/her hot points na hizi sometimes amezaliwa nazo na hazifundishwi, kwahio siku akikunwa hapo ndio itakuwa heaven kwake (which comes to my next point kwamba sio vibaya kama tukiambiana like na dislikes.., na furaha yako isiwe karaha ya mwenza wako)

    Na kwa wale wenye tastes za ajabu sometimes sio mpenzi wao wa kwanza bali inakuwa ni curiosity wanataka kujaribu vitu tofauti (mwisho wa siku wanazoea na kuvutiwa). People are different wengine pain kwao ni turn on
     
  11. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    sun wu

    Hivi unapokutana na mwenza wa kwanza, unakuwa umeshajingea likes na dislikes?
    Ule uthubutu wa kufanya au kutofanya mambo fulani unaupataje?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  12. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Kama ana nafasi, je na kwa wanamme ni hivyo au wnyewe huwa hawawi 'naive' katika mahusiano ya kwanza?

     
  13. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Unakubaliana na mimi kwamba kila mtu anazo hot points zake mfano masikio, mammary glands n.k.., hivyo basi kama mpenzi wako wa kwanza lets say tabia zake zilikuwa kero kwako (painfully) lakini ulivyokutana na mtu wa tatu akafanya yale unayopenda wewe (huoni kwamba huyu wa tatu ndio atakuwa na nguvu zaidi) au usipopata bahati ya kupata huyu wa tatu unaweza kuchukia sex bila sababu...

    Au kama wewe ni masochists (unapenda pain) na haujawahi kukutana na mtu kama wewe unataka kuniambia kwamba hizi fikra zipo kwenye mind ya mtu au huwa anajifunza (nadhani kuna mambo mtu hafundishwi..) au kama mtu yupo curious anataka kujaribu kila kitu (hata upande wa pili) Je kweli haiwezekani kwamba hajawahi kupewa na mtu yoyote labda mpaka anakwenda kujaribu ukubwani
     
  14. PetCash

    PetCash JF-Expert Member

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    Kwa mfano wazazi wanaplay part kubwa sana katika kumtambulisha mtoto kwenye Dunia na complexities zake, ndiyo maana mtoto akiwa anacheza akiona/sikia/hisi kitu ambacho hakukiona before hurudi kwa aliye karibu naye (dada/mama/baba/shangazi/mjomba/kaka) na kuomba muongozo...

    ukimwambia ni hivi basi hukichukulia as reference for the rest of his/her life na akiupdate information ya hicho kitu as he/she grows. Mtu atakaye muintroduce kwenye mapenzi anamfanya ayaone mapenzi hivyohivyo alivyoyaona in the first time...

    Wakibreak up watakuja wengine na atazidi kuupdate baadhi ya information alizozipata awali kulingana na atakavyoendelea kuyapercieve mapenzi toka kwa hao wenzi wake wengine...

    Lakini yule wa kwanza ndio aliyemjengea foundation yake ya mapenzi so yes anainfluence sana kwa sexual behaviour yake..na ndio maana wazee wetu walisisitiza mtu ajitunze hadi aoe/aolewe ili a be introduced in the most precious manner na hivyo atayaheshimu mapenzi...


    Kuna kitu watu hawapendi kukisikia lakinia a marriage between virgins is very sacred and precious thing!
     
  15. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    PetCash, asante kwa ufafanuzi wako.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    kwa wanaume hata sijui, labda kina sun wu watupe majibu.
     
  17. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Mtarajiwa atafaidi kweli..................................!
     
  18. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Ahsante mkuu.........Umefafanua vizuri sana..................
     
  19. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Ha ha haa., sidhani kama ni necessary kwamba wa kwanza ndio anachangia unachopenda au kuchukia.., (mimi nadhani hii kitu ni kama journey unajifunza na kuelewa zaidi njiani) sasa kama hata mwanzo wa safari kama ulikutana na miba au mashimo.., (na kuona kwamba safari huenda sio nzuri) ila mwisho wa siku ukikutana na lami utafurahia hio safari....

    Point yangu ni kwamba kila siku tunajifunza (ingawa experience ya mwanzo, hasa kwa mwanamke huenda ikampelekea kuchukia safari) ila unaweza ukafurahia safari hata mwisho au katikati ya safari na zile don'ts hata kama hukuzipenda mwanzo huenda mwisho wa siku ukazipenda.

    Na zile Do's unazozipenda huenda mtu wa sasa hazifanyi vema, basi kupelekea kuchukia hizo Do's

    au unasemaje Husninyo
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  20. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    hata mimi najua hivyo ila niliongelea kwa upande wetu. Nilifikiri kwa upande wenu mambo huwa tofauti kidogo (si unajua katika hiyo sekta nyie ndio walimu wetu! Lol, )
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
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