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Nafasi ya mume. . .

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Jan 1, 2012.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    . . . kwenye conflict kati ya mke na ndugu wa mume.

    Kwanza nianze kwa kuuliza. .
    Hivi kwa nini ndugu wa upande wa mume (mawifi, mashemeji, mama mkwe) ndio hua wanaonekana kusababisha matatizo zaidi kwa wanandoa kuliko ndugu wa mke? Hii inasababishwa na nini?

    Nikirudi kwenye nilichokusudia kuandika, juzi nilikua naongea na mtu maswala ya ndoa including mahusiano kati ya mke na ndugu wa mume yanavyoweza kufanya ndoa iwe chungu ikiwa hakutakua na maelewano kati yao. Mwenyewe aliniambia kwamba "matatizo yanayosababishwa na ndugu wa mume yanatokana na mume kutokua MSIMAMO pia SAUTI mbele ya familia yake." Nilipofikiria nikaona kwamba kuna ukweli mwingi ndani yake. Embu fikiria ukiwa na mawifi wasiojua kutulia kwao, na kwako wakija ni maneno tu alafu kaka yao nae akawa anawaacha tu na kupuuza malalamiko ya mke wake nini kitatokea? Mawifi wataendelea au hata kuzidisha mbwembwe zao pale, mke atakasirika kwa kuingiliwa na mawifi + kupuuzwa na mume hivyo kupunguza au hata kuondoa maelewano kati ya mume na mke.

    Wanaume nyie ndio wenye jukumu la kuhakikisha familia zenu (mama, baba,dada na kaka) wanaelewa kwamba nafasi yao ni tofauti na ya mke wako. Kwamba ukishaoa unakua na familia nyingine ambayo kwa kiasi kikubwa inatakiwa ijitegemee (uongozi na maamuzi ndani ya nyumba) hivyo hawaruhusiwi kuingilia iwapo hamjawaomba kufanya hivyo. Na inapotokea wakajaribu uwaeleze kwamba hivyo sivyo mambo yanavyoenda. Badala ya kumwambia mkeo awavumilie tu, wakalishe ndugu zako chini uwaeleze kwamba mkeo hayuko pale kwaajili yao, kama wanaona anayofanya hayawapendezi wao ilhali wewe huna tatizo nayo basi nao watafute maboma yao ili wakafanye mambo wapendavyo huko. Usiruhusu maneno maneno ya ndugu zako yamkoseshe mkeo raha, hata kama ni madogo. Ndugu zako ndio wanaotakiwa kuBEHAVE na sio mke wako KUWAVUMILIA.

    Heri ya mwaka mpya. . . . natumaini utakua mzuri kwetu sote.
     
  2. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Mume atawezaje ku-exercise nafasi yake wakati tayari wote wawili mme na mke wana nafasi sawa kwenye ndoa?

    Haki za wanawake.
    Kama mke ana nafasi sawa na mme basi na atatue hilo pia.

    My stand: haki za wanawake inachochea migogoro ya ndoa.
     
  3. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

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    Hayo yanatokana na ujinga wa mke na mme kutoa siri zao za ndani.

    Vichaa ndo wanalaumu ndoa zao zimeingiliwa.

    Peace.
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    mpaka dada waje kuleta maneno kuna jambo moja hapo

    shule ndogo na kukosa kazi ya kufanya.......

    ukitaka kumlinda mkeo,somesha dada zako
    hakikisha wanapata kazi za maana.......

    na somesha mkeo pia ikibidi........
     
  5. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Sasa huu ni ushabiki usio na maana.

    Kwan hata wakiwa sawa huo usawa unamnyima mume uwezo wa kucontrol ndugu zake? Usawa wake na mkewe unamfanya awe chini ya nduguze?

    Namna watu wanavyoamua kuishi (tajiri na kijakazi, mke na mume ambao hawashindanii madaraka) haina nafasi kwenye conflict ambazo zinawahusisha watu wa nje.
     
  6. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Mara nyingi huwa ni hulka tu maana unakuta wengine pamoja na kuwa na kazi zao nzuri na kuwa na maisha yao binafsi bado tu ataanza kumuandama mke wa kaka yake mara hivi mara vile mimi nafikiri hakuna sababu ya msingi sana zaidi ya kuwa ni hulka waliyonayo baadhi ya wanawake kuona kuwa kaka zao hawawezi kutunzwa vizuri na mwanamke mwingine ili hali uamuzi wa kuoa aliyeuchukua ni mwanaume na mwanaume akiendekeza hiki kitu ndio hapo mfarakano kwenye ndoa unaanza na mwanamke naye akiwa legelege ndio kabisa atapelekeshwa puta mpaka basi.

    Maana hawa mawifi wakigundua weakness ya kaka yao ni wapi ndio hapo hapo wanapo hit na kumfanya mwanamke aliyeolewa kuonekana anashindwa kumudu ndoa yake kitu ambacho kinawapa nafasi mawifi kuonekana wao ndio wao binafsi kwangu mimi ndoa ni baina ya mwanamke na mwanaume ukiishaanza kuwa-entertain mawifi it will cost you big time..
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Siri gani unaongelea?
    Ndugu wakija kutembelea wakaanza maneno/kutaka wao ndio waendeshe nyumba siri zinahusika vipi?
     
  8. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu kuna wale wenye kazi zao nzuri na wana maisha yao binafsi lakini ni vurugu tupu kwenye ndoa za kaka zao I've seen that happening ndio maana nina conclude kusema kuwa ni hulka ya mtu saa zingine haijalishi kama amesoma au lah..
     
  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Hiyo kweli inaweza ikawa namna moja ya kukwepa kero za aina hii Boss. . .LIKE
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    True that!!

    Watu wengine furaha yao inapatikana kwenye kuwakosesha wengine raha. Wengine wako radhi hata kutumia muda mwingi kuhakikisha mke wa kaka yake halali kwa amani, kuliko anaotumia kwa mambo binafsi.Umbea umbe na maneno kila siku.
     
  11. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    na kukaa karibu karibu pia
    raha ya ndugu kaa nao mbali
    mpaka wanakumiss........
     
  12. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Mambo ya ndoa ni magumu saana. Na thou hayana formulae, kuna yale ambayo ni ya Msingi ambayo wanandoa yatakiwa kuzingatia ili kuweka nyumba iwe sawa.

    Mwanaume mara nyiiiiingi hubebeshwa mzigo mkubwa na Mke na ndugu zake iwe wake kwa waume. Naamini sometimes ni ngumu kua Mume na kaka na mtoto wa mama at the same time. Mie hua hata nashangaa kua Mtu asema ampenda mumewe... Lakini kutwa kupeleka lawama kwa mumewe kuhusu ndugu zake kua wamnyanyasa.... Wewe kama mke what do you expect? As much as ni mume inabidi mke atumie busara saana kuweza mhandle mume pamoja na wifi zake. Wanawake (hasa) ndio husahau kua huyo mwanaume apenda dada/mama zake na Mke pia mapenzi yana nafasi yake; Kutwa kutaka shindana nani bora kwa huyo mwanaume (mke/dada/mama) Kinachotakiwa ni kua Mke atambue kua yeye ana nafasi kubwa hio ndoa na mumewe kuishi kwa Amani.

    Nimependa Kongosho alivoongea.... Hii Vita ya kua haki sawa kwa mume na mke.... Hii ndo inavunja ndoa nyiingi siku hizi! Kweli haki ni muhimu BUT nashauri wanawake wenzangu watambue kua kuna vitu ambavo mwanamke hata agombee iwe haki sawa havitakua achieved no matter what! Sijui what the future holds ila kwa sasa ukweli ndio huo.... nimegusia hata katika mada ya Mbu juzi (Ndoa za sasa Vs za zamani). HAIWEZEKANI Mke na Mume waweke haki sawa ndani ya ndoa na eti ikadumu. Ni lazima mmoja awe chini kidogo.... Kumpa huyo mwanaume nafasi ya maamuzi ya Msingi (na kua na hio sauti ndani ya nyumba kwa maamuzi ya msing).


    Mwanaume kumwambia kua amwambie mkewe awavumilie ndugu zake AMA awaambie dada zake wavumilie wifi yao ni kum’weka katika nafasi ngumu saana; For kila pande (Mke/Dada) itaona kama vile huyo Mume/kaka kadharau upande wake. Dawa ya kuepusha hayo.... Mke awasome wifi/Mama mkwe (kama kweli hataki mumewe kukeraika) na a deal nao Women to Women! In the long run kwa msimamo huo heshima itakuja tu! Mradi usi deal nao kwa dharau hata siku moja bali kwa heshima na kufuata haki na kuwaambia ukweli.

    Kikubwa katika ndoa Mwanaume aelewe nafasi yake na Mke aelewe na kukubali nafasi ya mume (and Vice versa applies) hapo walau kuna kua na amani.
     
  13. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Hili nalo neno maana mimi huwa hadi napigiwa simu na wife wa kaka yangu kulalamika kuwa nimewachunia kuwatembelea then hapo ndio huwa naenda otherwise ni kuchekiana kwenye simu ndio mpango mzima...
     
  14. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    taratibu wewe na wife wa kaka lol
    anakupigia simu kumbe lol
     
  15. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Na ukiwapa nafasi tu utajuta unaweza kusema dah..hii ndoa ni kitu gani tena utaburuzwa left..right..center..
     
  16. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahahaha!! Boss bana..lol
     
  17. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    ukitaka kujua wanawake ni viumbe vya ajabu ni hapo kwenye ugomvi wa mke na mawifi....
    kila ambacho watapinga unachomfanyia mkeo ndio wao wataenda kukidai kwa waume zao....
    hivi viumbe hivi lol
     
  18. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Tatizo pia kuna wanawake wakishaolewa wanaanza kuonesha makucha yao. Hapo mwanaume aangalie ni upande upi wenye makosa na sio kumtetea mkewe hata kama anafanya upuuzi.
     
  19. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    hao wanaitwa 'sadist'
    sio wazima saana kiakili
     
  20. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

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    Tatizo lako wewe hujaelewa bado au unakataa kuelewa bado.

    Let put this way, kwenye ndoa yoyote lazima kuna up and down au vipi, ikiwa nyie mnawapa chance watu wajue matatizo yenu basi weka akilini mtailetewa tu matatizo na watu.

    Kama mme anaonyesha dalili siku zote mbele za ndugu zake na wazazi wake anampenda mke wake, vipi watasababisha matatizo katika ndoa yake.???

    Unless huyo mwanaume kila wakati yuko kulalamika kwao kuhusu mke wake, hata kama mke wake kachelewa kumfanyia chai basi anaenda kupiga report kwao mke wake kachelewa kumfanyia chai.

    Mimi naamini wazi kabisa Mme na Mke wakiwa napendana nawako kitu kimoja nawanamaliza matatizo yao wao kwa wao, hakuna atakaye subutu kuwaleta matatizo.

    Siku njema.
     
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