Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Nadharia hii itawashangaza hata wanawake wenyewe…..!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Oct 24, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,571
    Likes Received: 679
    Trophy Points: 280
    [​IMG]
    Mnamo Agost 23, 1973, majambazi wawili wenye silaha aina ya machine gun, walivamia benki moja jijini Stockholm, Sweden. Mmoja kati yao ambaye Alikuwa ametoroka jela siku chache nyuma, Jan-Erik Olsson alitangaza kwamba, "Shughuli imeanza."

    Majambazi hao waliwashikilia mateka watu wanne, wanawake watatu na mwanaume mmoja. Mateka hao walifungwa mabomu miilini na kushikiliwa ndani ya benki hiyo kwa muda wa saa 131, ikiwa na maana kwamba, walishikiliwa kwa siku tano. Mateka hao waliokolewa Agosti 28 na majambazi hao kukamatwa.

    Baada ya kuokolewa, mateka wawili walionyesha jambo la kuchangaza na pengine kutisha, kama siyo kuudhi kwa baadhi. Walifanyaje?

    Pamoja na kufungiwa mabomu na watekaji wale, kutishwa, kudhalilishwa na kuishi kwa hofu kuu mikononi mwao, lakini walipookolewa wanawake wawili kati ya hao watatu waliwakumbatia na kuwabusu wale majambazi kwa bashasha. Lakini pia waliamua kuwapenda na kuwasaidia majambazi wale.

    Walipohojiwa na vyombo vya habari vya nchi hiyo, walisema, hata watu wa usalama walipofika kuwaokoa, walishajenga upendo kwa watekaji, wakiamini kwamba, ni kweli watekaji walikuwa wakiwalinda kutoka kwa polisi.

    Baadaye mwanamke mmoja kati yao alifunga uchumba na jambazi mmoja. Mwanamke wa pili alianzisha mfuko kuwachangia wale majambazi fedha za kuwawezesha kupata huduma bora za kisheria ili wasifungwe au kupata adhabu nafuu. Kumbuka hawa wanawake ndiyo waliokuwa wamefungiwa mabomu wakati wa utekeji…!

    Hali hii ambayo baadaye ilikuja kupewa jina la Stockholm syndrome, imekuwa ikitambuliwa katika Saikolojia kwa miaka mingi kabla ya tukio lile la Stockholm. Kilichotokea kwenye tukio hili, ni wale waliotekwa kujifunga kihisia na watekaji.

    Hali hii imewahi kujitokeza huko nyuma kwa watekwaji wengine, wafungwa na kwenye ufujaji wa aina mbalimbali ukiwemo ule wa watoto, wanawake, na wafungwa wa kivita. Imebainika na inafahamika vizuri sana kwamba, uamuzi wa mateka kujibainisha na kujifunga kihisia na watekaji huwa ni mkakati wa mateka kujiwezesha kuendelea kuishi. Kwenye uhusiano wa kifujaji, mwanamke anayefujwa anaweza kuamua kumtetea na kumpenda zaidi mumewe ikiwa ni mkakati wake wa kujiweka katika mazingira ya kumudu kuendelea kuishi.

    Kwa hiyo, mwanamke kufujwa na mumewe na bado mwanamke huyo akamtetea mumewe, akawa tayari kufa kwa ajili yake akimlinda asichukuliwe hatua za kisheria kwa kumpiga kwa mfano, ni jambo ambalo kwa wanasaikolojia halishangazi tena. Lakini halishangazi kwa polisi ambao wamekutana sana na kesi za wanawake wanaofujwa.

    Kuna wanawake wengi ambao hufujwa na waume zao, lakini wao ndiyo wako mstari wa mbele kuwatetea waume hao wasiadhibiwe. Kuna wakati wanawake wanaofujwa huenda kuwawekea dhamana waume zao ambao wamekamatwa kwa kuwapiga wao (wake) kuna wakati wanawake hao wako tayari kuwatukana au hata kuwageuka na kuwashambulia watu wanaokuja kuwasaidia wakati wakipigwa na waume zao……………!
     
  2. Blaine

    Blaine JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Jan 11, 2012
    Messages: 2,285
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 0
    i can see the relation but with abusive relationship its more because walivyofundwa kuvumilia au wanajiona hawawezi kupata mtu atakayewajali so they stay with abusive partner (latter ndio main cause uzunguni). good article overall
     
  3. piper

    piper JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Jan 17, 2012
    Messages: 3,260
    Likes Received: 7
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ama kweli hii ni Stockholm syndrome
     
  4. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Aug 22, 2008
    Messages: 3,617
    Likes Received: 28
    Trophy Points: 145
    Mtambuzi, the thinnest book in this world is to understand women!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  5. Mu-Israeli

    Mu-Israeli JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Mar 21, 2012
    Messages: 2,358
    Likes Received: 21
    Trophy Points: 135
    Hii inanikumbusha baadhi ya mila za makabila fulani hapa Tanzania.
    Katika mila hizo (potofu ????) ni kwamba mwanamke atajihisi kuwa anapendwa zaidi na mumewe ikiwa mume atakuwa anampiga mkewe mara kwa mara !! (ngumi, fimbo, vibao, mateke, n.k ) Ouch !!!!
    Hivyo mke nae atampenda zaidi mume huyo mpigaji !!
    Sasa sijui tuzipe 'big-up' mila hizo ???
    Yaani hapa mila hizo zinaenda sawa-sawa na saikolojia ya wanawake !! (kama ilivyoandikwa kwenye makala hii) !!!!
    Oooops !!!!
     
  6. Mpangamji

    Mpangamji JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: May 12, 2010
    Messages: 527
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 35
    Kwani ni nani anayependwa zaidi kwenye mapenzi, mara nyingi ni yule anayewafanyia fujo wanawake wakati wa kufanya mapenzi, anayefanya mapenzi kama vile anamwadhibu huyo mwanamke hupendwa zaidi ya yule anayembembelezabembeleza mwanamke wakati wa tendo la ndoa, mwanamke anapenda kuwa mistreated, hiyo ndio addictio yake muulize Mwali au Smile watakuambia
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. Mpangamji

    Mpangamji JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: May 12, 2010
    Messages: 527
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 35
    Mtambuzi hii inaweza kuelezea kwa nini watu wanampenda Magufuli pamoja na rafu zake zote.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  8. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 9,670
    Likes Received: 987
    Trophy Points: 280
    Hapo ndio utaona ni kwa nini inakuwa ngumu kumshauri mwanamke alye kwenye abusive relationship...mwisho wa siku anakusemea kwa mumewe unageuziwa kibao.

    Ila kama ndugu yangu wa damu yuko kwenye abusive relatiosnhip na naona kabisa dalili za hili gonjwa; ntambuluza mpaka kwa wana saikolojia ili wampe ushauri nasaha akili irudi...inahitaji watahalamu kurudisha akili za watu kama hawa.

    Tena wako wengi kweli....unashangaa waume zao hovyooooo, lakini wana vijisababu vya kuwatetea. Kuna rafiki yangu ananambiaga mume wake anampiga hasa akilewa afu wakisuguana kidogo...huwa namuangalia simmalizi...sisemi kitu kwa kuwa she is just my office mate na mume kama mume wake anaweza nijia juu akijua natoa ushauri kwa mkewe...Dada mzuri kweli kweli tena mpole ile mbaya...sijuhi hilo jianamume lake linapata wapi nguvu za kuinua mkono kumpiga?

    Malezi pia uchangia..mimi na dada zangu (tuko wadada 5) wote tumeolewa lakini hakuna hata alowahi kutiwa kibao na mumewe...hatujawahi kumuona baba akimpiga mama...hivyo hatuwezi kuvumilia upuuzi kwani hicho kitu akipo na akikubaliki kwenye mawazo yetu...wanaume nao wanapima udhaifu wa wake zao...si kila mke unaweza kumpiga. Mimi hata ningeolewa na Tyson angeinua mkono kunipiga tungepigana aisee...sikubali ntachukua hata sufuria nimkung'ute nalo.

    Ila angekuwa ndugu yangu ningemburuta twende kwa wana saikolojia.
     
  9. King Kong III

    King Kong III JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 15, 2010
    Messages: 24,039
    Likes Received: 546
    Trophy Points: 280
    Walimu wao ni vipofu!!!! Samahani lakini
     
  10. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 9,670
    Likes Received: 987
    Trophy Points: 280
    Afu uwa sipati picha inakuwaje...kama mume anampiga mkewe; mke analia au anagugumia? Kama analia inakuwaje watoto wanaposikia mama yao analia? Unategemea hao watoto watakuwa na mapenzi na baba yao? Unategemea hao watoto hawatakuwa abusive kama baba yao wakiwa na familia zao? Kama ni watoto wa kike...huoni kuwa watakuwa wanaona kupigwa ndio maisha ya ndoa...na hivyo wakikutana na mpigajia watakuwa wanavumilia mpaka watolewe roho???

    Ni upuuzi uso na kipimo kwa mume kumpiga mkewe...na nikikujua una hiyo tabia nakudharau saaaana...mwanaume kama una nguvu si ukapigane na Matumla. Pheeeew
     
  11. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 9,670
    Likes Received: 987
    Trophy Points: 280
    |Kuna jirani zangu wa utotoni walikuwa na dada mmoja wanaume kibao kwao...ni wakurya. Dada yao akaolewa na mkurya mwenzao...mbaya zaidi hawakuwa wanaishi mbali na kwao.

    Mume wa huyu dada akawa anampiga yule dada mara kwa mara...anampiga kweli kweli...yule dada akipigwa anarudi kwao...akipona anaenda kwa mumewe.

    Kaka zake wakasema hatutaki ujinga...kuna siku kama kawaida yake na asivyo na haya kampiga yule mkewe. |alivyorudi kwao kaka zake wakamuendea mumewe..Walimteremshia kipigo kitakatifu mpaka watu wakazani wameua...lile jamaa likalazwa siku kadhaa. Tukajua ndoa imeisha.

    Baada ya miezi kama miwili mke karudi kwa mumewe...huwezi amini hakurudia kumpiga tena....kumbe internvention inafanya kazi sometimes.
     
  12. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #12
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,571
    Likes Received: 679
    Trophy Points: 280
    Well said nyumba kubwa, lakini jambo moja ambalo wengi hatulijui ni kwamba hata wafujaji ni wanasaikolojia wa hali ya juu, mwanaume mfujaji huwa anamuandaa mwanamke mfujwaji kuanzia mbaaali sana. dhana kwamba wewe na dada zako wanne (Nasikitika sikuweza kupata hata mmoja wa kuoa hapo....LOL) hamkushuhudia mama yako akipigwa na baba yenu na ndio maana itakuwa ngumu ninyi kukubali vipigo toka kwa waume zenu, naomba kutofautiana na wewe japo kidogo. swala hapa inategemea na mtu, anamchukuliaje mume mfujaji. Kuna familia moja, wazazi wameshika dini kweli (walokole) na wazazi wanaishi kwa kuheshimiana hasa. katika makuzi yao haijawahi kutokea kumuona mama yao akibotwa na baba yao lakini kwa bahati mbaya sana, mabinti watatu wa familia hiyo wameolewa na wanaume wafujaji na wanabondwa kila siku kwenye ndoa zao........
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  13. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 9,670
    Likes Received: 987
    Trophy Points: 280
    Ndio najaribu kufikiria sababu ni nini kwa kuwa mi kichwani kwangu naona kibondo hakivumiliki...inakuwaje kwa wengine wanaona ni sawa???

    Na ni kwa nini hawa wabondaji hawapati ugumu wa kubonda...je wanajua kuchagua wa kuoa mwenye uwezo wa kuvumilia kibondo?

    Kama wanawaandaa hapo labda utupe hints ili tuwaepushe mabinti zetu...wanawaandaaje. Lol. Ila najua wengi wa wanaokung'utwa na waume zao mkon'goto ulianza toka wakiwa wapenzi...so sad.
    Zile za mbona umeongea na fulani vibao....binti anajipa moyo...ooh mapenzi...ooh wivu...huwezi kupendwa bila kupigwa? Hakuna wenye wivu wasiopiga?

     
  14. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #14
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,571
    Likes Received: 679
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kuna wakti unaweza kushangazwa, pale utakapomuona mwanamke huyo akienda polisi kuwashitakia kaka zake kwa kumpiga mumewe kipenzi................. nyumba kubwa, jambo hilo halihitajki intervention tu, balipia linahitaji ushauri nasaha mtakatifu ili kuondoa hilo jinamizi la kukubali kufujwa. nakuapia huyo mwanaume akihamia mbali na hap ndugu zake ataendelea kumshikisha adabu kama kawaida
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  15. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
    Messages: 28,286
    Likes Received: 3,061
    Trophy Points: 280
    khaaaaa hii ni mupya zaidi kwangu
     
  16. Mu-Israeli

    Mu-Israeli JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Mar 21, 2012
    Messages: 2,358
    Likes Received: 21
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ngoja waje hao uliowataja !! Mimi simo kabisaaaa !!
     
  17. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 9,670
    Likes Received: 987
    Trophy Points: 280
    Mi nakwambia nina office mate wangu mtambuzi...ukimuona utasema ana miaka 22 alivyo mzuri wakati ana approach 40.

    Huwa ananipa majonzi sana maana kuna wakati anaweza kuta missed call ya mumewe; basi utamuona anavyohangaika...leo nitakoma...basi ana call back...mumewe akisusa kupokea; mdada ananywea...utasikia NK leo nawahi kurudi home ili hubby anikute nimelala maana lazima atanipiga....eeeh yani mtu anakuwa kama kaolewa na jini...full wasiwasi; cha kumsaidia sina...na najua mambo ya ndoa...si ndugu yangu hivyo siwezi take risk ya ku intervene...nafunga mdomo wangu. Na mume wake (shemeji) ananipenda maana ameshajua sinaga ushauri wowote wala maneno maneno kwa wife wake.


    Hiyo ndio formular ya maisha yangu...simshauri mtu kuhusu ndoa yake unless huyo mtu awe ndugu yangu kwani ndugu atakasirika lakini undugu haufi.

    Na kweli yule mdada kuna washikaji zetu wengine hawapendi...kisa wanamwambia ukweli alivyo b.w.e.ge...mi ananipenda kwa kuwa nina offer shoulder to cry on bila ku comment....ni sawa na huyo anayeenda kumtetea mumewe polisi.

     
  18. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #18
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,571
    Likes Received: 679
    Trophy Points: 280
    Jibu hilo hapo juu, nimelipigia mstari.
    Kwa kawaida mwanaume mfujaji huwa hajifichi na anaanzia kipindi cha uchumba, lakini pia wapo wanawake ambao huvutiwa na wanaume wababe, hawa wakibondwa kwao hilo si tatizo. Hivi kama mwanaume mbabe anakutana na mwanamke ambaye hayuko tayari kufujwa unafikiri huo uhusiano utadumu? kuna mawili aidha akubali kubadilika (Iwapo mwanamke atafanya kazi ya ziada kumbadilisha mwanaume huyo) au uhusiano ukome na kila mtu ashike hamsini zake.
     
  19. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #19
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,571
    Likes Received: 679
    Trophy Points: 280
    nyumba kubwa, isje ikawa tuko ofisi moja?
    Mbona huyo unayemsema anafanana na huyu colleague wangu hapa kazini.....
    Kuna haja ya kuchunguza isije ikawa naongea na bosi wangu nyuma ya key board!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  20. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 24, 2012
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 9,670
    Likes Received: 987
    Trophy Points: 280
    Okay...kwa hiyo tumekubaliana kuwa hapa kuna complicity. Wadada wenyewe pia wana mchango kwenye hii tabia...wamekubali kiaina kuwa kwenye mahusiano ya mkongoto.

     
Loading...