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Nachanganyikiwa naomba msaada...........

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MwanajamiiOne, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #1
    Apr 22, 2012
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    Wapendwa
    Ninawapenda, naomba mnisaidie............ Ni nini nafasi ya 'heshima' ndani ya mapenzi.

    Samahanini ninauliza hivi kwa sababu nimejikuta kwenye dilema. Wote mpenzi wangu pamoja na marafiki zangu wengi wamekuwa wakipinga ile dhana ya 'heshima' kwa mpenzi wangu. Ninajaribu kuwaelewa ila naona kama nazidi kuchanganyikiwa.

    Inakuwaje kwa mwanamke anayeamini kwenye 'kuonyesha heshima' kwa mpenzi wake as one of the vionjo vya mapenzi ambavyo vinamfanya yeye ajisikie vema ilhal mpenzi wake au marafiki zake wanaona 'haina maana'? Mf. Mie nikiamini kuwa kumheshimu mpenzi wangu kwa kupiga goti (kama malezi yangu yalinifunza hivyo), akiingia kumpokea na hata kumvua koti, ha hata viatu na vijipole vya hapa na pale...........

    I wapi nafasi ya 'heshima' kama hii kwa mwenzi wako? Je tunaitafsirije hii ndani ya era ya usawa na gender equality?

    Natanguliza samahani kama nimekosea , nieleweni tu mwenzenu mie wa 1947.
     
  2. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    usisikie ya watu, heshima ina muhimu wake japo baadhi ya wanawake wa kisasa huona ni utumwa. Ila ni kionjo hasa mwanamme anapokuwa avaa viatu vyake vya uanamme sawa sawa.

    Basi mie naweza fanya haya:-
    Kumwamkia shikamoo wala sijali kwa raha zangu.

    ananituma maji ya kunywa wakati yako just few meters.

    Namnawisha wakati wa kula

    viatu na soks kumvua kama ada.

    Ni jinsi mwenyewe unavyofurahia bana, ipe kitu roho inapenda.
     
  3. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Cha muhimu ni kufanya kile unachoona ni sawa iwapo unayemfanyia na yeye anajua umuhimu wako na hachukulii advantage..

    There are people when you give them a yard they take a mile....,Ukiwaonesha heshima wanakuona weak na hufai hivyo basi whatever works in your relationship do it, hao wengine hata wasipokuelewa ni watazamaji tu (Ila kama muhusika unayempa heshima hastahili heshima its time to think otherwise)
     
  4. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Kongosho aksante sana mydia yaani umenipa relief mydia............Lakini what if ikiwa hata yeye haamini katika hilo? inapotokea naye akawa anachukulia kuwa 'its not necessary kwa wewe kumpa 'heshima' hiyo??
     
  5. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    sun wu

    kuna shida akienda a mile, as long as havuki mpaka nilomwekea sioni shida kumpa heshima yake.

    Nampelekea naji ya kunywa, goti hadi chini, nasubiri hadi amalize kunywa maji ndo napokea glas na kunyanyuka, shida iko wapi?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  6. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Apr 22, 2012
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    Gender equality ni moja ya eneo ambayo uelewa wake umekua under/mis rated na watumiaji na wahusika. Tatizo ndio lipo hapo.... Tunashindwa kuelewa where to draw the line linapokuja swala la equality. Kwamba hata tukitaka usawa kila field/kipengele kina mipaka yake. Equality katika work force ni tofauti utapokuja katika dini... ni tofauti utapokuja Ki family na maeneo mengine mengi.

    Heshima MJ1 is given as well as earned. Hao watu watakua ni wa ajabu sana kama wataku undermine sababu tu umeonesha heshima kwa Mpenzi wako. Mpenzi ni someone to treasure na "Heshima" ni moja ya nguzo kubwa ya the way kumtreat... Na naamini ukimueshim kama yupo appreciative na anakuthamini atakuheshimu pia. Sometimes it is good to be stupid when in love especially kama wamaanisha yale ambayo wafanya dhidi yake. Hivo huna haja ya kuchanganikiwa... Kama roho yako yakutuma kupiga goti kwa mpenzio... Piga. After all kuna moments wawez piga goti... thou inaweza isiwe public hasa kama wewe na mpenzio mana mahusiano mazuri sana... Imagine him sitting sebuleni na kakuomba maji/kinywaji.... If you love him, and you feel like it; kuna ubaya gani ukisogea karibu ukapiga goti na kumpa maji? Sio rahisi that you will do it every day... but once in a while inalipa.
     
  7. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Aksante sun wu......umenipa relief............. but nakwazika sometimea ambapo muhusika anaponipinga kuwa haoni umuhimu......bahati mbaya am too conservative in terms of abidding to the traditional rules yaani mie aje nimpokee, nimwekee maji ya kuoga, nimuenzi e.t.c But yeye anapoona namtukuza sana na hapendi nafanyaje?
     
  8. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    MwanajamiiOne

    Ngoja nikuhakikishie, inawezekana hakukulia mazingira hayo.

    Lakini, usidhani kwamba hafurahii, anafurahia sana, tena sana tu. Ila kama hataki kuonesha umembamba.

    Hujawahi kumwambia mwanamme uiyenaye kwenye mahusiano 'nakupenda' akawa kama hajali.
    Siku ukiacha kumwambia anaanza kulalamika, umepunguza upendo, huniambii tena unanipenda.
    Wakati ulipokuwa unamwambia hakuoensha anajali.

    Wanamme wanatabia moja, ukiwapa kitu wanakuwa kama hawakitaki, ukikiondoa wanakililiaje?

    Ndo wako hivyo.

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  9. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 22, 2012
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    heshima.......
    Let me think........

    Nazungumza nae kwa staha bila dharau.....hii si heshima?
    Namhudumia mahitaji yake yote ikiwemo kumpikia, kumfulia, hata kumuogesha inapobidi n.k n.k ......hii si heshima na upendo?

    Kwenye argument, namjibu kiupole na kiustaarabu....hii si ni heshima?

    Nawaheshimu ndugu zake hususan wazazi wake nawachukulia kama wangu, nae anafanya hivyo....hiyo si ni heshima?

    Namuacha awe mwanaume....namaanisha jukumu lake kama mwanaume.... Yaani yeye kuwa kichwa cha familia.....hii si ni heshima?

    Akinituma namtii.......hii si heshima?

    Mbele za watu pia namuinyesha adabu na kumuacha atake control.........hii si ni heshima?
    (hata tukiwa wenyewe namuheshimu pia)

    Namtii, namsikiliza na kumuheshimu ..........hii si ni heshima?
     
  10. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Da Mkubwa naomba nije for more mafunzo maana I cant afford to loose him...............lol
    Aksante sana kwa somo hili sasa nimeelewa kwa nini kaka Kaizer ka'mute'
     
  11. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    ...Mkuu MJ1 mie sioni tatizo kabisa katika hili ila hawa wa "siku hizi" kufanya unyenyekevu kama huu kwao wao ni kama utumwa. Fanya kile ambacho moyo wako unapenda ali mradi tu hakimkinaishi mpenzi wako. Ukosefu wa heshima ndani ya mapenzi ndio chanzo kikubwa za ndoa nyingi kuvunjika katika miaka hii ya karibuni maana kila mtu ni mjuaji hakuna anayetaka kujishusha au kupeana heshima zinazostahili ndani ya ndoa/mapenzi.




     
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  12. B

    Bwa'Nchuchu JF-Expert Member

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    Heshima katika mapenzi ni pamoja na kuheshimu matakwa ya mwenzio.

    Kama yeye mwenzio anaona unamtukuza sana na kwa kiasi f'lani hiyo inamkwaza, kwa nini usiheshimu hayo matakwa yake?

    Au huwezi kabisa kuacha ama kupunguza hayo mazoea yako? Kama unaweza basi acha ila kama huwezi angalau punguza kidogo basi.

    Mapenzi mazuri ni pamoja na kumsoma mwenzio na kumuelewa alivyo. Inavyoelekea umeshamsoma, sasa kilichobaki muelewe. Na kama na yeye keshakusoma basi mnaweza kufikia muafaka ambao hauvuki uvumilivu wenu (happy medium).
     
  13. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

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    well said AshaDii you are blessed!!
     
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  14. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Uje nitajitahidi hivo hibo... Kuongea ni rahisi MJ1, When it comes to matters of the heart wote hua na wataalam wa kutoa ushauri sababu inakua haikuhusu...lol. Unakua na a clear head. Sweetie yupo dear... ku'mute' kwa kweli ni kawaida yake if busy.
     
  15. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Shemeji BAK, umepotea? karibu nipeleke matangazo police ati! Mzima wewe?

    Aksante shem wangu nimekuelewa but ningeomba ufafanuzi hapo kwenye..kumkinaisha mwenza! Anakinaije? kuwa ye hapendi kuheshimiwa? au ana limit?

    Hiyo you tube imeni...shiiiika
     
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  16. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Humbled Purple...
     
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  17. Jestina

    Jestina JF-Expert Member

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    yaaani heshima ni kumbrashia viatu na kumvua koti?,mmepatana kweli fake people.....mie sitafanya huu ujinga hata siku moja....and no kumheshimu ni kutomtukana,kutembea nje ya ndoa na kumjibu vibaya....hayo mnayofanya sio heshima ni utumwa na mwanaume kama yuko real lazima aone anaibiwa....haingii akilini mtu sio dissable umvue koti wkati ana uwezo wa kufanya hivyo yeye mwenyewe.....:mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2:
     
  18. sun wu

    sun wu JF-Expert Member

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    Yeah hakuna shida ya akienda a mile kama havuki mipaka (ila kama mipaka ni a yard yeye atakwenda mpaka a mile)., mfano unampelekea maji ile yeye hajali hata siku unaumwa anadai maji, ukichelewa kupokea kuleta maji matusi.., unapika jikoni anajua fridge ipo wapi anakuita ulete maji.., anataka kubadilisha channel remote ipo mezani anakuita kutoka jikoni ubadilishe channel

    Ndio maana nikasema it depends na mtu anakuchukuliaje, ila pia sio vema ubadilishe nature yako, upole wako au malezi yako sababu mtu hakueshimu (cha kufanya ni kuhakikisha kwamba huvuki mipaka yako uliyojiwekea na sio kuleta nidhamu ya uoga au ya kulazimishwa)

    Kongosho right back at cha
     
  19. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Bwa Nchuchu hapo ndo ninaposhindwa kupaelewa mie......hebu fikiria nimekuwa nikilelewa na kujuzwa kuwa Mume hutunzwa hivi, nitaweza kweli kuyakana mafundisho hayo? Saawa kuna yale extreames ambayo mnawezaketi mkakubaliana kuwa haya ...hapana mpenzi wangu hii am ok hata usipolifanya hili, tukubaliane ingawa mh ni kama wanikwaza ati...................labda niko mchoyo
     
  20. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Apr 22, 2012
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    Mie niko poa kabisa MJ1 namshukuru sana Mwenyezi Mungu....usiniwekee WANTED MwanajamiiOne bana niko poa kabisa ila mihangaiko wakati mwengine huwa mingi :):)...Natumai nawe uko bomba kabisa. Naam Wanaume wengine heshima kama hizo za kupigiwa magoti n.k. wanaweza kabisa kuziona zimepitiliza na hivyo wasizipende kwa kuona ni kama wanamdhalilisha mke/mpenzi ili kufanya heshima kama hizo na si ajabu hata ndugu, jamaa na marafiki wanaweza kabisa kudhani Mume/Mpenzi anamlazimisha mwenzie ampe heshima hizo za hadi kupigiwa magoti. Utube hiyo hata mimi inanimaliza sana LOL!

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
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