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Na mimi ninakupenda, lakini kama rafiki

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MAMMAMIA, Mar 19, 2011.

  1. MAMMAMIA

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 19, 2011
    Joined: Feb 26, 2008
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    Wana JF, kauli hii ya mada tayari nimeshaisikia kutoka kwa wavulana wengi ambao wamejibiwa hivi kutoka kwa "marafiki zao wasichana" baada ya kuwataka kwa zaidi ya "urafiki".

    Binafsi naamini uwepo wa urafiki baina ya wasichana na wavulana. Kwa kawaida, urafiki wao huwa ni wa kubadilishana mawazo, kupeana moyo, kusaidiana wakati wa shida, hasa pale mmoja anapopata misukosuko katika mahusiano na wachumba zao, na hufanya haya kwa moyo bila kudai fidia.

    Katika urafiki huu, mara nyingi mvulana huwa ndiye anayejitolea zaidi. Kwa mfano, ikiwa msichana kaandaa party, mwisho wote wataondoka isipokuwa rafiki mvulana, huyu husaidia kukusanya vyombo na kusafisha nyumba, na ikiwa msichana hana mchumba, rafiki hulala hapo hapo. Lakini mara nyengine, hasa kwa wavulana, hutaka wapige hatua moja mbele, kutoka urafiki kuelekea uhusiano wa kimapenzi na mara nyingi jawabu inakuwa Na mimi ninakupenda pia lakini kama rafiki, na sioni kama kuna ubaya wowote kwa msichana kujibu hivyo.

    Swali au wasiwasi wangu kwa nini mvulana hujitolea sana? Ni kwa kutaka kujionesha kuwa yeye ndiye bora na anayefaa zaidi kwa msichana huyo, au hufanya kwa sababu ya urafiki? Ikiwa ni kwa urafiki, kwa nini kutaka kuenda mbele zaidi ya hapo?
     
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 19, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Inawezekana akawa anajaribu kumuonyesha anavyomjali ili abadili mawazo anakua rafiki mzuri tu!Zote mbili nimeziona ila wa pili ni the best maana hafanyi kwa kutarajia malipo bali kwakukupenda kweli kiasi kwamba hata kama hatakua nawe kimapenzi bado anataka kuthamini uwepo wako maishani mwake!
     
  3. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 19, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
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    nafikiri wavualana hujitolea kutokana na hisia/malengo waliyonayo kwa wasichana wanaowafanyia hivyo......ila kuna wakati mwanaume anafanya tu kama rafiki na katika huo urafiki ana develop feelings kwa msichana na ndo humwambia....kama msichana hayuko tayari ndo anajibiwa hivyo.....ila kuna wanaume wanafanya hivyo kukuandaa kifikra na kihisia kimapenzi au kingono!:juggle:
     
  4. Chris_Mambo

    Chris_Mambo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 19, 2011
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    Linapokuja suala la urafiki, mara nyingi huwa tunajichanganya sana. Believe me or not, mwanzoni mvulana na amsichana huwa na mahusiano ya kirafiki tu. Tatizo ambalo hujitokeza mara kwa mara ni ile hali ya tamaa ambayo husababishwa na mmoja wao kumdadisi rafikiye in different perspective. hapo ndipo tamaa huanza na matokeo yake, hata kama hakuna mapenzi ya dhati kutoka moyoni, application za one step further huanza. Ukikubaliwa sawa, lakini ukikataliwa hata ile hali ya urafiki wa kawaida hutoweka. Sasa basi, ni vyema tukajifunza kutofautisha mambo haya. Kama una rafiki wa jinsia tofauti na mnasaidiana ktk mambo mbalimbali, don't introduce any unnecessary issues. Just treat her/him like your best friend, and she/he will cherish that all the time as a friend!!!
     
  5. nnunu

    nnunu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 19, 2011
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    siyo marafiki wote wa jinsia tofauti wanaofikia hatua ya kuwa wapenzi, lakin wakifikia hatua ya kuwa wapenzi ina maana kuwa baada ya kuanza kuzoeana na kuwa marafiki wa kawaida basi mbegu ya mapenzi ilianza kuota taratibu ndani ya mioyo yao na baadaye ikakomaa na kufikia hatua ya kuwa wapenzi, kama wanapendana kwa dhati siyo mbaya kwa sababu moja ya sifa kuu ya mpenzi ni lazima awe rafiki yako ili muwe huru katika uhusiano wenu....pia marafiki wazuri ni wale wenye tabia zinazofanana na wanaopenda vitu vinavyofanana.

    Pia baadhi ya wavulana wanaotumia njia hiyo ni wale waoga au ambao hawana ujasiri wa kumwambia msichana 1kwa1 kuwa anampenda kimapenzi badala yake hutumia njia ya kujifanya rafiki wa kawaida halafu wakizoeana naye ndiyo anaanza kumweleza ukweli.
     
  6. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 19, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2010
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    mimi kwa upande wangu sipendelei kuwa na urafiki wa jinsia tofauti,hasa kama mimi ni single na mwenzangu ni single.kwani ninaamini u lonely wangu unaweza kunisukuma kwengine.ila kama nipo kwenye relationship sioni vibaya kuwa na urafiki wa jinsia nyengine,kwani naamini utakuwa 100%urafiki wa kawaida tu.hayo ni maoni yangu
     
  7. papaa-H

    papaa-H Member

    #7
    Mar 19, 2011
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    mara nyingi huwa ni tamaa za wanaume tulio wengi hata kama hana feelings hata kidogo. kuna kinaitwa kushika mapembe, so wanaume wengi huwa wanaonaga lazima "wa-do" ili kuweka heshima ingawa ni mawazo hasi.
     
  8. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 20, 2011
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    Hizi story za rafiki wa jinsia tofauti badae mapenzi ni kujiendekeza tu, au inakuwa mlipendana kabla hamjawa karibu, mie rafiki yangu ni mwanaume na atabaki kuwa rafiki
     
  9. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #9
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    kuna msemo niliusikia
    msichana na mvulana (single)
    hawawezi kuwa marafiki wa kawaida
    na kwa kiwango fulani nakubaliana na huu msemo ..

    wasichana wengi husema napenda kuwa "marafiki wa kawaida"
    sababu labda tunaogopa kupoteza urafiki wetu, attraction tulio nayo haiko complete..
    mfano nimependa ulivyo lakini sijapenda tabia yako au personality,
    au tayari mie nampenda mwingine na we mara nyingi uko hapo ajili ya moral support
    kwa hiyo ni vigumu sana kwa sisi kwenda next level....
    na vitu kaama hivyo ....
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 20, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    mdada akisema lets just be friends it simply means
    1.hajavutiwa na wewe sexually

    2.you are not good enough financially speaking..

    3.you are boring....



    3.
     
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