My gay son wants his boyfriend to stay over 18/01/2011 Dear Coleen, Last year, my son confessed to my husband and I that he was gay. It took a lot of courage for him to admit this and we told him wed support him and love him whatever his sexuality. The thing is, although outwardly I behave like its the most normal thing in the world, I cant help feeling so disappointed and worried about what the future might hold for him. Hes our only child and I suppose I imagined hed have a wife and a family, and now those dreams have been crushed. Hes 19 and at university and seems to be having a great time. He called me last week to ask if he could bring his boyfriend home in a few weekends time. He wants us to meet him and says their relationship is serious. I said yes, but Id rather his boyfriend didnt stay in the same room. I just dont think Im ready to accept him sleeping with another man under my roof Im not sure I ever will. I feel guilty for thinking this as hes a lovely boy and a credit to us intelligent, sensitive and caring. Im not sure how to cope with these feelings or how Im going to react when they do come to stay. Any advice? Coleen says.. Youve handled the situation brilliantly. Its wonderful that your son feels able to confide in you but, as a mum myself, I understand where youre coming from. Youre probably grieving for the future youd imagined for your son. Its wrong, but from the moment our children arrive, we start imagining how their lives are going to be jobs, weddings, kids and so on. When it doesnt work out like that, you have to give up those hopes and dreams. It must have been hard for him to get up the courage to tell you but its hard for you, too and its OK to admit that. As far as him staying at your house with his boyfriend, I wouldnt treat that any differently than if he wanted to bring a girl to stay. If you wouldnt want him sleeping in the same bed as a girl hed just met under your roof then this shouldnt be any different. Just be honest with him and say youre not ready to see him going to bed with his lover in your home. He might not be expecting that anyway. He probably assumes itll be separate beds! Im sure your son understands itll take you some time to get used to the situation but Im sure he feels grateful to have such great parents.