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Mwanaume: KIUMBE DHAIFU LAKINI CHA AJABU HAPA DUNIANI (soma mwenyeweeeee)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by ndyoko, Dec 30, 2011.

  1. ndyoko

    ndyoko JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 30, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
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    Kuna hiki kiumbe dhaifu lakini cha ajabu hapa duniani kiitwacho Mwanaume.
    Ni cha ajabu kutokana na uwezo wake wa kubadilika kufuatana na mazingira kilichomo kwa wakati husika.
    Hakika hata yule bingwa wa kujibadili kinyonga haoni ndani.
    Angalia kwa mfano mazungumzo ya simu ya kiumbe huyu

    Miaka kumi nyuma wakati kulifahamika kwa sifa ya Mchumba wa mtu
    ”Sweetheart Habari za asubuhi!”
    “Nzuri tu dear, sijui wewe!”
    “Aa, mimi hali yangu sio nzuri kabisa”
    “Ee nini tena Dear!”
    “Nimekumiss mpenzi wangu, hata usiku mzima wa jana nakuota tu!”
    “Jamani pole sana mpenzi”
    “ Asante lakini haitoshi darling! Hivi kwanza leo nitakuona saa ngapi?”
    “Sijui wewe labda unifuate wakati wa lanchi!”
    “Ok basi, wife to be endelea na kazi huku ukiendelea kukumbuka ule wimbo wangu ninaoupenda kukuimbia.

    “Mh? Upi tena huo dear?”
    “Aaah unaniangusha darling! Si ule wa oh my sweet, my sugar, let me love you forever, oh yes umeukumbuka?!

    “Aaa! Huo! Basi nimeukumbuka! Dear!”
    “Bye, nibusu basi”
    “Baadaye dear, kuna watu hapa!”
    “Ok basi!”

    Haya basi miaka kumi na mbili na watoto wanne baadaye hiki kiumbe mwanaume sasa kina hadhi ya ‘mume wa mtu’ na sasa tunakutana nacho kikipiga simu kwa yulee mtu aliyekuwa mchumba wake miaka kumi na mbili nyuma na ambaye sasa anakwenda kwa hadhi ya “mkewe”. Mazungumzo yao kwenye simu sasa ni “makavu” kama mtumba wa Manzese……..!

    “Hujambo?”
    “Sijambo! Za kazi?”
    “ Safi , hawajambo hao?”
    “Hawajambo tu!
    “Huyu aliyekuwa anaharisha vipi!”
    “Anaendelea vizuri, nimempa enthoromycin naona inamsaidia”
    “ Sawa, huyo fundi wa TV naye keshafika?”
    “Sijamuona!”
    “Sawa, akija muangalie sana asiibe vitu kwenye hiyo TV!”
    “Sawa, sasa Baba nani….!
    “Unasemaje?”
    “Kuhusu ile losheni”
    “Umeshaanza Nimesema nitakununulia”
    “Jamani Baba nanii.....! Mwezi wa pili sasa, kila siku unaniambia hivyo hivyo!”
    “Alaa? Tumeshaanza kuhesabiana siku sasa!”
    “Basi yaishe! Mimi nilikuwa nakukumbusha”
    “Haya, mimi nitachelewa kurudi nyumbani kidogo kuna jamaa naenda kumcheki nikitoka kazini”
    “Sawa”
    “Baadaye basi”

    “Sawa”

    Kiumbe kiitwacho mwanaume kinamaliza kuongea na Mkewe na kukata simu. Bila shaka utapata taabu kukubali kwamba huyo ndiye yule yule aliyekuwa naongea kwenye simu ya kwanza miaka kumi na mbili iliyopita. Bila shaka pia ukajiuliza, yako wapi maneno yale “darling”, sweetheart, mpenzi na wimbo ooh my sweet, my sugar, sasa yamekuwa ni bidhaa adimu mdomoni mwa mume na masikioni kwa mkewe. Lakini ni kweli kwamba maneno haya yamekuwa bidhaa adimu kwenye mdomo wa kiumbe hiki, mume?

    Hebu tusikilize simu hii ya mwisho ya kiumbe huyu dakika chache tu baada ya kuongea na mkewe anaongea na simu hii akiwa amevua ile hadhi ya mume na kujivika mwenyewe bila kushurutishwa na mtu, hadhi ya buzi na anayeongea naye ni kiumbe mwenye hadhi ya mchuna buzi. Patamu hapo, babuyangu!

    “Haloo, darling”
    “Haloo mambo”
    “Poa! Unafanya nini sasa hivi darling wangu?”
    “Aaa nipo tu natengeneza nywele zangu!”
    “Yees! Zitengeneze vizuri ule mtindo ninaoupenda, jioni nitapitia hapo nikupeleke ukapate vikuku na vikopo viwili vitatu!”

    “Sawa darling! Halafu dear, vipi kuhusu vile vitenge vya Zaire wanavyopitisha wale kinamama niliokuambia?”

    “Darling na wewe! Si nilishakuambia wakipitisha tena we chukua tu pea mbili halafu uniambie tu mimi nitakupa pesa?”

    “ Asante ! Na vile viatu je?
    ”Darling sasa unataka kuniudhi nimeshakuambia kuwa sio lazima uniombe ruksa kila kitu we chukua halafu unaniambia mi nakupa hela, sawa?”

    “Sawa mpenzi, nashukuru saana!
    “Wee endelea kujitayarisha, mi nikimaliza tu kazi hapa nakuja kukupitia, au vipi!”
    “Sawa halafu nakumiss ile mbaya!”
    “Mi pia”
    “Asuu, haayo maumbile yako yananipendeza!”
    “Jamini mpenzi! Hivi wenzako hawakusikilizi kweli hapo!”
    “Watajaza! Asuu roho ingekuwa nguo ningekuazima univae hadi milele eeeee....!”
    “Bwana hebu acha!”
    “Ok basi darling, tutaonana baadaye!”
    “Haya, dear!”

    (kwa mnaopenda kuzodoa wadesaji, nakiri kabisa hii kitu ni cut n paste)
     
  2. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 30, 2011
    Joined: Jul 18, 2011
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    ndo zenu tunajua mbona hakuna jipyaaa
     
  3. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 30, 2011
    Joined: May 20, 2009
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    Kabisa kabisa sisi watu wa ajabu sana,
     
  4. Kabakabana

    Kabakabana JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 30, 2011
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    Kweli mtupu
     
  5. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 30, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
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    Sasa wewe ulitakaje?
    Hata nguo mpya hua inavaliwa kwa uangalifu na kupendwa zaidi kuliko ya siku nyingi.Sema kuna chache zenye bahati, hata zikichakaa bado zinapendwa sana.
     
  6. Bubu Msemaovyo

    Bubu Msemaovyo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 30, 2011
    Joined: May 9, 2007
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    True tupu
     
  7. Babuu blessed

    Babuu blessed JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 30, 2011
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    umenena hapa! Tena wataalam wa mambo wanasema manaume wanaopenda kuvaa nguo zao kuu kuu maranying wanakuwa na mapenz yasiyowachoka wake zao tofauti na wanaopenda kulipuka na viwalo vipya daily.
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 30, 2011
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    Hahahahaha. . . . usiniambie.
    Kumbe wale badili badili wa nguo ni badili badili wa wapenzi pia?Ntaanza kua naangalia hiyo kitu.
     
  9. TECHMAN

    TECHMAN JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 30, 2011
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    nyie kina dada, mnujua mnacho kinena?
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 30, 2011
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    Hatujua. . we unujua?
     
  11. Nico1

    Nico1 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 30, 2011
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    wewe umeisha zaa watoto wengi tena unakaribia kupata wajukuu bado tu unahitaji kuitwa darling,sweatheart,mdosho nk kama bado unahitaji hayo majina jivue gamba kama nyoka uone kama hautaitwa.
     
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Dec 30, 2011
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    Kuzaa kunaondoa udarling/usweet wa mtu?
    Basi msizae. . .
     
  13. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Dec 30, 2011
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    duh! Ndo mko ivo.
     
  14. Lokissa

    Lokissa JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 30, 2011
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    mpango wa kando muhimu wewe ni kwann hata losheni uombe
    kwani hufanyi kazi au biashara? zama za kupokea zishwapitwa na wakati
    ndio maana tunawaachia buku kama hivi....jibadilini mnajisahau sana
    Aslay - Nakusemea. - YouTube
     
  15. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 30, 2011
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    loh. . . . . !

    Happy new year
     
  16. S

    Softybaby Member

    #16
    Dec 31, 2011
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    hilo swali kwa kweli umenuia kuleta maana tata. Nimewasikia kina kaka flani wakisemezana kuhusu lugha hyo kwamba ... Wanacho "kinena"?!. Haifurahishi
     
  17. Dr.Chichi

    Dr.Chichi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 31, 2011
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    we mpaka nimekuoa na kuzaa na wewe hiyo ni proof tosha kwamba u r mw sweetheart,baby,darling n,k sihitaji kukukumbusha kila siku...nyumba dogo anakuwa kwenye state kama hile uliyokuwa wewe mwanzo ndo maana tunabembeleza......
     
  18. Negrodemus

    Negrodemus JF Gold Member

    #18
    Dec 31, 2011
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    true dat ni kitu mazoea, hiv ujui kuwa mkiishi ka marafik kuna true lav tofauti na mkiwa ka husband and wife, coz uongo unakuwa mwingi mkioana tu kosa kwan anakuwa na uhakika kuwa ni wako hata ufanyeje anaridhika na ubunifu unapungua anaanza kuish kwa mazoea
     
  19. dazipozi

    dazipozi JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Dec 31, 2011
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    Kama ww mpnz,uchoshi,na midomo yako laini kama sufi,lol
     
  20. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Dec 31, 2011
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    Dah!wanaume bwana!kumbe mkioa na majina matamu na matunzo ndio vinaisha? ngoja nickilizie kwanza kabla yakuingia humo!
     
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