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Mwanamume anahitaji nini? Wale wanandoa hebu mnijuze!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Pretty, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 8, 2009
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    ........Kama swali linavyojieleza hapo juu, hivi mwanaume aliyekuwa kwenye uhusiano haswa kwa wale wanandoa anahitaji nini toka kwa mke wake?

    Najua kuna vitu kama upendo, heshima na usafi hivyo ni muhimu sana. Lakini bado kuna vingine pia muhimu, nadhani nimesahau.......hebu wanajf mnikumbushe!!

    Huyu mwanaume anapenda kufanyiwa nini na mke wake?
    Wanajf hebu mnijuze maana kabla ya kuwekwa kitchen party na wamama niwe nimeshapata baadhi kutoka hapa.


    Hebu leteni michango yenu mliokuwa wazoefu na hii kitu kinaitwa ndoa. Hata wale watarajiwa kama mie na nyie leteni michango yenu.

    NB.Nawatakia heri katika sikukuu ya uhuru wa nchi yetu hapo kesho.
     
  2. Lyangalo

    Lyangalo JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Nenda kwenye semina ya ndoa achana na kicheni party watakupoteza. Zaidi ya hapo nafikiri umekaa na mchumba wako kwa kipindi kirefu na unajua anapenda nini. sisi wanaume tunatofautiana sana zaidi ya hayo uliyoyasema mwingine anahitaji usimkosee, umjali kwa kumwandaa kwenda kazini i mean kuwa karibu nae muda wote. Ukiona anapenda sana tendo la ndoa mpe bila masharti na uwe mbunifu. Usimpe house girl achukue nafasi kwa mmeo, hakikisha yupo mbali sana na mmweo.
     
  3. Kisoda2

    Kisoda2 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Mkuu nimekugongea thenksi kwa mbaaali.

    Usimkere haswaaa,kwa maana ukikereka si huwa hauna ham na kitu chochote!
    Basi na sisi wababa ndivyo tulivyo.
     
  4. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Ahsante kwa mchango wako, kwenye semina ya ndoa tumeshakwenda.

    Hapa nataka nikusanye ujuzi toka kwa watu mbali mbali........kama hapo wewe umeshasema wengine wanapenda kuandaliwa kipindi waendapo kazini, hivyo nimeshapata jambo moja ambalo mwanzo sikujua kama muhimu.
     
  5. Chimunguru

    Chimunguru JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Dada yangu pretty, mimi na mwenza wangu tunaishi kama marafiki, tunataniana na hakuna ubabe ndani ya nyumba. mwanzoni kabisa wakati wa uchumba tulikaa chini nikamweleza mimi nini nataka kwenye relationship yetu na yeye aniambie ni nini anataka kwenye uhusiano wetu. Mipaka ipi isivukwe na vitu gani vya kufanya.Kitu ambacho nilimsisitizia sana ni Kunisikiliza nachosema/nachotaka na kuwa muwazi kwa kila jambo analofanya yaanikusiwe na siri baina yetu. km ni pesa ajue kila kitu mshahara wangu na wake nijue ili kusiwe na mmoja awe na matumaini ya juu sana kwa mwenzie kifedha kumbe si hali ilivyo, tuishi maisha ya kweli na si kupeana ahadi za uongo. Nakushauri sana kuwa muwazi kwa mwenzi wako, usipende kuweka kitu moyoni na kwenda kwa shosti kumueleza au ndugu yako, kila tatizo mueleze mmeo, na yeye msisitize awe huru, asifiche matatizo yake.Sio kwamba hatugombani tunagombana ila ikitokea kutoelewana huwa tunakwenda room tunafunga mlango tunapashana kila kitu kwa uwazi hata 2 hrs zinaweza isha baadaye tutafikia muafaka, kama mmoja kakosa itabainika na huwezi amini tunaishia KUMEGANA, tukitoka hapo hasira zimekwisha. Kuwa na mashosti kazini, jichanganye nao kwa sana lkn usiwaamini sana mashost, hakikisha huna shosti wa kumleta leta nyumbani kila wakati, mara ooh kakupigia simu kidogo naenda kwa amina, au amina njoo nyumbani, mmeo yuko sebuleni wewe kutwa nje na amina story tu unamwacha mmeo peke yake na yeye ataboreka idoo utasikia naenda kupiga story na John anaishia bar. hakikisha kama huko kazini au ni weekend mmeo ndo awe company yako, kama kuna vitu mlipanga yeye kasahau, mkumbushe onyesha concern kwenye mipango ya family yenu, usiishie kudai mitoko kila siku ilhali hata kiwanja hamna, au watoto hawana school fees, au hawana maendeleo mazuri shuleni. kuwa mbunifu kidogo kama mwanaume kwenye ngono ni wadhaifu sana km ukiwahi rudi toka kazini mmeo hajarudi, au weekend upo nyumbani mzee hayupo , ikifika time anarudi usikaae tu sebuleni akirudi umenuna akisema habari za hapa hata usoni humwangalii unanuna unajibu kwa kutafuna tafuna, hata km uko sebuleni mpokee kwa bashasha, mpeleke room, mpe mabusu moto moto, km ulijifunga kanga moja idondoshe kwa makusudi mkumbatie, utaona jamaa linavyochanganyikiwa, damu itaenda mbio, halafu unasepa zako kumwandalia msosi wakati jamaa kishapanda mshawasha, kwa mwanaume hapo atakuahidi hata mtoko ili mradi umpe MCHEZO, hujaweka AMANI NYUMBANI hapo? Naumbuka wakati wife kajifungua our first kid, nilichukua likizo ya mwezi mzima, Maids wetu alipoona kuna mtoto pale akasingizia mama yake anaumwa akasepa, Ngoma ikawa hakuna msaidizi, nilfua nepi za mtoto na kupika na shuguki karibu zote for the whole month na baada ya likizo km miezi 8 zaidi niliendelea kufanya kitchen chaos zile, wife alikuwa na shosti yake ambaye alikuwa akija pale mara kwa mara, alishangaa sana mwanaume huyu anafanya hizikazi za nyumbani mwanzo alisifia sifia lkn kilimuuma sana kumbe kuona mwanamke mwenzie ana enziwa namna ile, mimi sikuwa na mazoea naye na sikupenda kuzoeana naye kupita kiasi coz nilishajua hapa nini kitatokea, nikamkanya wife lkn yeye hakuweza ona mbali sana akaona km nna chuki binafsi na shosti yake, baada ya mtoto kufika mwaka, nika notice changes kwa wife, kwa vile nilipenda sana kukaa na kid wangu nikitoka job, basi yeye ataaga naenda saloon kidogo kumbe anaenda kwa shosti yake, atakaa hata 2 hrs ukimpigia simu anakuwa mkali huniamini atampa na yule shoga yake simu utasikia shemeji wala usiwe na wasi wasi niko naye, Yule shosti kwa kiasi fulani alifanikiwa kumteka wife tukawa tuangombana daily, mtoto sasa haangaliwi tena, kwa 3 months hakuna amani nyumbani, Mungu mkubwa siku ya siku ilipofika shosti yake alikuwa anamtumia mtu sms akakosea akanitumia mie sms, aliandika hivi, Yule pusi anayejidai kupendwa na mmewe akafuliwa mpaka chupi za ndani sasa kwisha, kazi nimeifanya, sasa bwana anaachiwa mtoto, mwanamke nashinda naye mtaani, kazi iliyobaki ni kumwingilia yule bwana kwa maneno makali juu ya mkewe, mwisho akasema pale ndani lazima niingie, nimempa kazi Mathias adili na akataja jina la wife in full ili amlubuni walale nae tumalize mchezo. nilipoipata sms ile nikacheka sana huyo mathias alikuwa kila akija yule shosti na yeye aatajipitisha pale home kujidai anamsalimia mtoto, kumbe wana yao, sikuwa na hasira coz nilishajua mbaya ni nani. Nikamwita wife nikajifanya mnyenyekevu kweli kweli, mabusu ya hapa na pale akajifanya kachoka, nikamwambia nataka nikutoe out leo, akakubali baadaye kwa shingo upande, tukaenda coco beach. Nilimuuliza unamwamini sana yule shosti yako akaja tena juu, nikampa ile sms asome, na presha ikapanda juu ikawa sasa nauguza mgonjwa after 2 days akarudi normal. wife alilia tena kwa kwikwi, na siri zote za yule shosti nikapewa, alikuwa akimwambia wanaume mbwa kabisa hapo anajifanya kukupenda lkn HAKUNA MWANAUME MWENYE MWANAMKE MMOJA, LAZIMA ANA MWANAMKE HUKO KAZINI, ETI WIFE ALIPOKUWA KAJIFUNGUA LAZIMA NILILALA NJE YA NDOA, ETI MWANAUME HAWEZI KAA BILA KUFANYA MAPENZI. tokea hapo sasa heshima na adabu mbele na anaogopa mashosti km ukoma. So kuwa mwangalifu sana na ma shosti, Msikilize mmeo, Kingine Kama umedhamilia kuingia kwenye ndoa usibadili msimamo ukiwa ndani ya NDOA, sipendi sana huu usemi watu wanapenda kuusema eti NDOA NGUMU, ukimsikiliza mmeo na kumshauri vizuri mtafurahia ndo yenu.
     
  6. Jeff

    Jeff JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 8, 2009
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    hapo kwenye bold ni muhimu pia kwani wengi huwa wanasumbua hasa linapokuja suala hilo,sielewi tatizo huwa linakuaga ni nn
     
  7. Sipo

    Sipo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 8, 2009
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    [​IMG]Mwanaume anahitaji mtoto
     
  8. F

    FRANKLIN Member

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    da !!!!! Kunambi unastairi pongezi za hari ya juu hizo mbinu kwa mwanamke awaye yeyote atashinda mtihani wa kumudu maisha ya ndoa.
     
  9. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Mambo ya kuudhiana hapa na pale pia yatakuwepo, ujifunze kuyashughulikia hayo.

    Pia ukumbuke sana kumpongeza na kumsifu anapofanya mambo yanayokufurahisha au ya maendeleo. Wanaume tunapenda sana kuwa appreciated, ndio maana tunafit sana kwenye jeshi ambako mtindo ni kupongeza anayepatia na kuadhibu anayekosea. Kila unapomsifu na kumpongeza kwa kufanya mema, basi ujue baadae atafanya mara mbili yake. Believe me, impact yake ni exponential.
     
  10. NGULI

    NGULI JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Buy me a rose, call me from work
    Open a door for me, what would it hurt
    Show me you love me by the look in your eyes
    These are the little things I need the most in my life
    Now the days have grown to years of feelin' all alone

    Luther Vandros
     
  11. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 8, 2009
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    ........CHIMURUNGU nakuaminia mtu wangu, kwenye mambo ya malavi davi naona una PhD ndugu yangu. Ushauri wako umeenda shule kweli na bila shaka nitafuata kama ulivyosema.
     
  12. F

    Future Bishop Member

    #12
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Pretty elewa kwamba hakuna mtu mkamilifu kwa hiyo utakuwepo udhaifu kwako na kwa mmeo, kinachohitajika ni kuvumiliana. Wanaume tunajua kuwa tunawakosea wakati mwingine wake zetu, na mara nyingi kwangu inakuwa kwa bahati mbaya. Kwa sababu nampenda mke wangu siwezi kabisa kukusudia kufanya jambo la kumkwaza lakini wakati mwingine najikuta nimefanya jambo ambalo anaona nimekosea.

    Tukikoseana/kukwazana ninachotegemea ni kuwa hatanisema mbele ya watu au kusikia kwa mtu yeyote hilo nililolafanya. Mambo yetu mengi tunayamaliza chumbani na tukitoka nje yameisha. Ambacho hatufanyi ni kukumbushana makosa tuliyofanya. Tunajitahidi kusameheana, kuchukuliana na kusahau. Pia sitaki kutupiwa lawama bila kujua kwa nini nimekosea, hivyo ni muhimu ukajua kwanza kwa nini mme wangu amefanya hivi/hili kabla ya kumlaumu.

    Elewa kuwa unaaga nyumbani kwako na kwenda kuungana na mtu mwingine na kujenga familia yenu wawili. Lakini hiyo haimanishi kuwa muwatenge na kuwachukia ndugu zenu (ndugu wa mume au ndugu zako). Dalili yoyote ya wewe kuwachukia ndugu zake na mme wako inaweza ikafanya ndoa yenu ikaanza na migogoro. Kinachotakiwa ni kuwapenda ndugu zake na ukiona wana udhaifu fulani mjadiriane na mme wako jinsi ya kuwahandle.

    Cha msingi tafuteni kuwa na AMANI, UPENDO NA FURAHA katika ndoa mnayokwenda kujenga. Mtafurahia maisha, katika yote Mtegeemeeni na Kumuomba Mungu awasaidie.

    Kila la heri.
     
  13. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Kuhusu mtoto hilo ni tunda la ndoa, na Mungu ndio muamuzi wa kuweka rutuba ili tupate mtoto/watoto.
     
  14. Pape

    Pape JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 8, 2009
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    heshima man
     
  15. Pape

    Pape JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 8, 2009
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    salute, senksi
     
  16. Tumain

    Tumain JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Kusamehewa bila kusimangwa (kurudiwa rudiwa without end)

    Kuheshimu wazee wangu (my parents)

    Of course mapenzi motomoto, mapishi na usafi

    suggesting outing for fan and plan for it like sinema, trip etc (siyo kila siku mpaka mimi nifanye and ku-suggest)
     
  17. ChaMtuMavi

    ChaMtuMavi JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Kweli umeongea ndugu yangu. Mimi nakubali na usemi wa kuwa "mwalimu wa mwanamke ni kipofu". Mke inabidi atambue roles zake katika ndoa.
    Wengine wanaingia kwenye wanaolewa na wanatafsiri sifuatazo:
    :-ndoa ni mapambano,
    :-ndoa ni ngumu,
    :-ndoa ni mzigo,
    :-ndoa ni majaribu,
    :-ndoa ni mashindano,
    :-ndoa ni ukimwi n.k

    Jamani kwa tafsiri hizo unadhani huyu dada ataishije huko unakokwenda?

    Mimi binafsi najua ndoa ni mahala pa mimi kuwa huru (toka himaya ya wazazi), ndoa ni upendano, ndoa ni raha, yaani napata mwenza nitayefanya naye mambo yoote hapa duniani. Nitakula naye, oga naye, lala naye, cheka naye, lia naye n.k. Sipo peke yangu tena. Ninaye mshauri na mliwazaji ktk maisha yangu.
    Jamani siyo siri mimi ni raha saaaaana na mwenza wangu, tofauri zinakuwepo lakini tusameheane. Nashauri wanajamii eleweni maana ya ndoa, ingia uone raha yake.

    Shosti ni adui number moja; kama ulivyoshauriwa Pretty, mashoga wasiliana nao kwa machale, don't be too protective but be fair.

    uchoyo ukifuatia; Ndugu pia deal nao kwa hekima. Usiwe na ubaguzi ktk kuhudumia wanafamilia wa pande zote mbili. Wanawake kuna katabia ka kumkataza mme asiwasaidie ndugu zake na hali umemkuta akiwa na jukumu hilo. Mbay zaidi unataka misaada ihamia kwa ndugu zako hii ni sumu ya ndoa. Tambua majukumu ya mumeo na kumsapport ikibidi. Responsibilities unazomkuta nazo zitaondoka polepole mfano kusomesha wadogo zake, kuwasaidia wazazi n.k. msome mumeo je ana mkono mrefu sana au ni wa birika? kwa kila hali mke uwe catalyst (chachu).
    Wake pindi mnapoolewa mnapenda sana kuwabadirisha waume zenu, ninachokusihi hayo mabadiriko yatafanikiwa endapo mke unampa full support mmeo. Yaani uwe mnyenyekevu, mwenye upendo wa dhati, msafi wa mwili na roho, ukipewa sema asante, ukikosa sema nisamehe mme wangu. Kwa jinsi hii mme utambadirisha unavyoweza, lakini iwe kwa manufaa ya familia yenu. Siyo ummbadilishe awe ***** umkalie that is NO NO NO.

    Usiri kupindukia;
    Muwe wawazi ktk ndoa yenu, msifichane mambo. Tatua tatizo kwa busara, mwombe Mungu akupe hekima, ukifanikiwa hili hakuna shida itakayokushinda.

    Wivu kupita kiasi; unakuletea ugonjwa, ugomvi na mfarakano.

    Gubu kupindukia; Mkikorofishana, mkaongea mkayamaliza, Wanawake acheni kuwakumbusha waume zenu makosa yaliyopita!!!!!!!!! Hii ni sumu sana kwa akina baba. Ukitaka kumfukuza mmeo Pretty, wewe rudia rudia kukumbusha old stories za mifarakano na makosa yake.

    Mwanamke mapishi; la mwisho nitalokupatia leo pretty, ni mpikie mumeo chakula, usiwe mvivu, usiachie house girl kila wakati. hata kama ni h/girl kaandaa msosi basi wewe kimbia mtengee hubby wako, ukiwa umekionja chakula na kuona kinafaa kuliwa na mmeo,

    Kula na hubby wako mara zote, unless..., mwandae kiofisi, kanisani n.k.
    Najua wengine watauliza mume roles zake ni zipi?? Kwa ufupi mwanamke do you part first then you will see the return.

    Pretty, karibu sana ktk chama hiki cha NDOA, na Mwenyezi Mungu akutakulie.

    Usiingie kama msanii, maana utatoka kama msaniii pia.
    Leave natural life, always learn new things that can be applicable to your and improve your marriage.



     
  18. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    Ahsante kwa ushauri wako mzuri, nimeupenda na nitautendea kazi.Kweli jamii forum kuna kila kitu, sikutegemea kupata ushauri mzuri wa jinsi hii.
    Be blessed my dear!!
     
  19. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Dec 8, 2009
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    Go with an open mind, expect surprises.
    Hata uwe mzuri namna gani - sura, tabia, kujua majukumu na kuyatekeleza.... usidhani ndoa itakuwa raha mustarehe. Utastaajabu kuwa wale wenye kuwa na kila sifa ndio hulizwa kupita maelezo.Wewe muombe Mungu wako tu kila siku na jiweke katika hali of expecting the worst so that when you get the best you will be pleasantly surprised!
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    vera..
    U r so wise..
    U make me fall for u
    over and over........
     
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