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Mwanamke mwenye watoto wawili nani atakutaka!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Ndeonasiae, Nov 2, 2011.

  1. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #1
    Nov 2, 2011
    Joined: Aug 15, 2011
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    Asanteni sana wadau kwa michango yenu kwenye my last thread titled "I have moved".

    My heading is quoted from one of the PM nilizopata kutoka kwa wadau, mdau mwenyewe ni mwanamke.
    Namshukuru kwa ushauri wake umenipa changamoto nzuri tu, lakini kutoka katika ushauri wake ambao ananiinstist nisitoke kwenye ndoa, nimeibuka na maswali.
    • Ananiambia ni bora nirudi eti mimi mwanamke wa miaka 32 ndio kwanza mihemko inachanganyia nitaishia kuiba waume wa watu koz sitapata mwanaume aliye single
    • Pili anasema eti nani atanikubali mimi na watoto wangu wawili bora nivumilie
    • Tatu Heshima kwa jamii
    sasa wadau nimejiuliza maswali mengi sana na kuona kuwa kweli watu wengi wanaishi maisha ya uongo,

    Hivi ni nini hasa msingi wa ndoa??
    Je ni Mapenzi??
    Je ni Status kwa jamii
    Au ni security ( kwa maana huwezi kupendwa tena pindi utakapotoka kwenye ndoa) au nini hasa??
    Au kila ndoa ina msingi wake so katika maamuzi yapasa kuconsider msingi wa ndoa hiyo kwanza instead of kugeneralise?

    Na je Tunaingia kwenye ndoa ili tuishi ama tunaishi ili tuwe kwenye ndoa? I mean kati ya ndoa na maisha nini kinakuja kwanza?
     
  2. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Huyo kakuvunja moyo tu. Ndoa ni mapenzi, kama mapenzi hayapo, hakuna ndoa hapo ila kuna mchezo wa kuigiza

    Huishi kwa ajili ya jamii, unaishi kwa ajili yako wewe. Ukipata dhiki ndani ya ndoa, jamii haikusaidii kubeba dhiki hiyo

    Fanya kile roho yako inapenda, mengine majaaliwa tu. Watoto si hoja hata kidogo
     
  3. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #3
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Wakati mwingine nafikiria bora hizi ndoa ziwe na katiba, mission, vision and objectives!!! LOL ili kuset a clear direction,, hahahaaaa
     
  4. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 2, 2011
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    maisha yasiyokuwa na amani hayafai yawe ya ndoa au ya usingo. Kama ndoa yako imegeuka nakuwa kero kwako,kwa nini ujitese eti kwa sababu jamii haitakuelewa sijui watoto watafanyaje? Uyo alitaka kukukatisha tamaa tu,na iyo inakuwaga mentality ya wanawake wengi,utakuta mtu anateseka yupo tu kisa status
     
  5. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    kweli aseee,ingekuwa poa sana. Binafsi nasubiri ilo la mkataba lipite kisheria ndio niingie kwenye iyo taasisi.
     
  6. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Utake wewe tu. Mawakili wapo wakutosha. Anaweza kukuwekea mkataba mkakubaliana na mwanamme mkajitosa kwenye kitengo cha ndoa.

    Nchi za Magharibi hilo ni rahisi mno. Si umemuona Kim K siku 72 tu kaamua kutafuta njia
     
  7. feis buku

    feis buku JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 2, 2011
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    mwezi ulopita tarh 22 shangazi yangu alikua anafunga ndoa,ana miaka 40 na anawatoto 2 ambao si wa huyo mwanaume anaemuoa!
     
  8. Edson

    Edson JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 2, 2011
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    kwa heshima ungemjibu huko kwa pm yake.....kwani wewe lengo la kuondoka kwa mumeo ni nini? yaani unatka nini baada ya wewe kutoka hapo??
     
  9. Riwa

    Riwa JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Ukweli ndio huo Gaijin....na tatizo ni kuwa ndoa nyingi siku hizi hakuna mapenzi, na hivyo hakuna ndoa bali magizo....ila tatizo la maigizo lazima yawe na mwisho (hata kama ni ndefu kama tamthilia ya Isidingo, one day itaisha tu), sasa maigizo yakiisha hata kama directors wawe wabunifu vipi, hapawezi kukalika kwa amani na furaha! Hata siku moja usiingie kwenye ndoa (uwe mwanaume au mwanamke) kwa sababu tofauti na mapenzi ya kweli, ukategemea eti utakuwa na furaha....mtaigiza mwanzoni, baadaye ubunifu utawashinda....na hapo lazima hilo igizo/tamthilia/sinema iishe, la sivyo ni mateso tu!
     
  10. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #10
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Hata hapa nimeileta kwa heshima kwani maoni yake yalinipa changamota ambazo niliona ni vizuri kushare, jamii forum is an open forum kufungua akili zaidi. natambua maana ya PM na ndio maana siwezi kumtaja katu, hata hivyo asante kwa kuliangalia hili kwa upande mwingine
     
  11. kitco255

    kitco255 Member

    #11
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Nafikiri kila ndoa ina mambo yake mazuri na mabaya. Ndoa moja si sawa na nyingine, cha msingi ni kuelewa udhaifu wa mwenzio na kuufanyia kazi.

    Kihistoria wanadoa wametoka sehemu mbili tofauti, malezi tofauti, hivyo wanapokuwa pamoja ni muhimu kumuelewa mwenzi wako na kujifunza zaidi , kumbuka huwezi kumfundisha mwenzi wako tabia zaidi ya kushauriana na pia kukubali ushauri. Ikishindika hakuna lisilowezekana chukua hatua kwa heshima.
     
  12. dubu

    dubu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Nov 2, 2011
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    achana na mawazo ya kiseja.wewe unamuacha mume wako eti unataka mume mwingine.huo ni ujinga.rudi nyumbani ukajenge familia yako.wewe kuwa na hela kusikufanye umuone mumeo hana maana.watu wanakaa mbali na wapendwa wao ili kupunguza hasira na kupumzika.wakishapoa wanarudi kwenye nyumba zao hawafanyi kama wewe.utaambulia ukimwi tu.mia
     
  13. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Shosti usijali watu wanasema nini kwani walianza kusema zamani na wala hawata wacha kusema,wewe kama wewe fanya linalokuridhisha,mtu akikupa ushauri unahiyari yakupokea au laa na wala usijiumize kichwa kwakufikiria jamii itakuonaje kwasababu huishi maisha yako kwakutegemea mtu au kuogopa kusemwa, mshukuru mungu amekujalia watoto zidi kumuomba mungu akupe maisha marefu na uwezo ulee watoto wako, wanao ndio first priority kwa sasa,mume time ikifika atakuja na usivunjike moyo kwani watoto ndio furaha ya kila mama mimi ukinambia nichague baina ya mume na mtoto basi ntachagua mtoto sababu waume wapo wakumwaga akiondoka yeye atakuja mwengine..
     
  14. N

    Nsuri JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    Mimi kwa uelewa wangu mdogo ni kwamba ndoa inajengwa na wanandoa wenyewe. Kila mwanandoa ana jukumu la kuleta amani na upendo kwenye ndoa. Nisingependa sana kumshauri mtu kuacha ndoa yake, ni bora ajitahidi na wakaye chini wanandoa wote waelewane. Kila kinachotokea kwenye ndoa kisa causes zake, na inawezekana kuna mmojawapo ameshindwa kutimiza matakwa (responsibilities) yake.
     
  15. N

    Ndeonasiae Senior Member

    #15
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Ni kweli kabisa uliyoyasema, lakini je kwa mtazamo wako ni upi hasa msingi wa ndoa? na je msingi wa ndoa ni uniform (mmoja kwa ndoa zote) au specific ( kila ndoa na msingi wake?). Nadhani mivutano ya hoja kuhusu ndoa ndio imelalia katika maswali haya kabla ya kutoa suluhu ya matatizo yoyote ya ndoa.
     
  16. Tangawizi

    Tangawizi JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Ndoa bwana sio bora maisha. Ni lazima ilete maisha bora. kwa bahati mbaya ndoa nyingi zimekuwa ni msalaba mzito usiobebeka kwa wana ndoa. Nafikiri we do not get right the fundamentals of marriages in the first place.
     
  17. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Its you as you, not you and the society......upoo!! Anaekwambia utaishia kupata magonjwa, huyo mume mwenyewe punchi mkononi hayo magonjwa ndo utayaepuka!! If ur 32, so what?? These ideas are so much boring, ni sawa na yale ya kijinga kijinga ya kuambizana eti expiring date........mwanchekesha!! Sijaona strong reason hapo rather than kukatishwa tamaa tu!
     
  18. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Nov 2, 2011
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    Ndio maana nasemaga watu ambao wako conservative in nature ni wakuwategea sikio robo!! Yaani wao walishakariri mwanaume tu ndo anafaa kumuacha mkewe ila siku mke akimuacha mumewe wanaanza kuweka assumptions za dharau hasa pale mke anapokuwa na uwezo!! Kunya anye kuku tu siku bata akinya kaharisha si ndio?? Hiyo sababu ya kupata ukimwi ndo hainiingii akilini kabisa, mbona mumewe mwenyewe ni mtaalamu wa kupanga vidosho?? Au wana guarantee kwamba hawatapata huo ukimwi unaousema?? L.O.L!!
     
  19. Tangawizi

    Tangawizi JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    Sema wewe! Miaka 32 kama umetulia na una akili zako timamu, hata kama ni watoto wanne kuna shida gani? Maisha yako ukimpa mtu awe ndio dereva imekula kwako. Pigana usimame kwa miguu yako. Pigana uendeshe maisha yako kama ni mtu unayejua unafanya nini. Mwisho wa siku happiness matters alot...kukaa kwenye maghorofa huku unalia lia ndani kuna heshima gani? si bora ukakaa kwa amani kwenye nyumba yako ndogo ya kawaida??
     
  20. ndyoko

    ndyoko JF-Expert Member

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    na hiyo kitu isiliwe kabisa maana isije siku unamkabidhi rasmi mhusika akashtukia anakutana na 'ngorongoro crater'!
     
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