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Mwanamke: Je unashindwa kujenga uhusiano imara, sababu ni hizi hapa….!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Aug 26, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Aug 26, 2012
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    [​IMG]
    Labda nianze na swali:


    Je umewahi kuwa na mtoko na mwanaume na baada ya kuwa naye karibu kwa miezi labda tuseme mitatu, sita au muda mrefu zaidi ya hapo ukamuona kuwa huyo ndiye mwanaume sahihi na anayekufaa, lakini kila unapojaribu kuwa naye karibu zaidi kwa mazungumzo ya kina anaamua kuadimika kwako na uhusiano wenu ukaisha muda mfupi baada ya hapo?

    Kama jambo hilo liliwahi kukutokea, basi naamini mpaka leo hii utakuwa unafikiria kwamba huenda utakuwa umemfanyia kitu kibaya mwanaume huyo! Kwa bahati mbaya ni kwamba hisia zako ziko sahihi.
    Baadae nitakuekuleza sababu.

    Tatizo kubwa linalowakabili baadhi ya wanawake ni kutowajua wanaume. Ukweli ni kwamba ni vigumu sana kuwajua wanaume na wanawake wengi hawajui kwamba wanaume ni watu wa siri sana. Si rahisi kumjua mwanaume mara moja, labda uwe na bahati sana. Mtaalam mmoja wa masuala ya uhusiano, John Gray anasema wanaume wanatoka kwenye sayari ya Mars na wanawake wanatoka kwenye sayari ya Venus, ina maana kwamba wanatofautiana sana.Kwa maneno yake mwenyewe John Gay anasema:

    "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a manual for loving relationships in the 1990s. It reveals how men and women differ in all areas of their lives. Not only do men and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently. They almost seem to be from different planets, speaking different languages and needing different nourishment."

    Wanawake wengi hawapati wanaume waliowakusudia, na ina kuwa mbaya zaidi hasa pale mwanaume mwenyewe anapokuwa ni wa shoka, mwenye mustakabali wa kusisismua. Unapompata mwanaume wa aina hiyo na uliyetokea kumpenda kwa moyo wako wote lakini akatokomea katika mazingira ya kutatanisha wakati tayari ulishamtia mkononi, inachanganya sana. Kusema ukweli wanaume wenye mwafaka ni wagumu kuwapata na wako wachache. Inapotokea kwamba umempata kwa bahati na ukajiona kama umelamba dume, halafu akakuponyoka kimzahamzaha inakuwa dhahama na balaa kubwa. Yaani unakuwa na mwanaume kwa miezi sita au zaidi halafu anakuponyoka hivi hivi, mchana kweupe…….! Haiyumkini ndio sababu ya wanawake wengi kwenda kwa waganga wa asili kujitizama kama wamelogwa……………

    Hapa chini nitadadavua makosa manne wayafanyayo wanawake kwa wanaume bila kujua. Yapo makosa mengine lakini haya ndio yanayotia fora:
    [​IMG]

    1. Kosa la kwanza: Kuishi na mwanaume katika hali ambayo unajifanya huko salama. (Yaani huamini kwamba, anakupendana mtaendelea kuishi wote). Ukifanya hivi, mwanaume hatafurahi. Muamini, halafu jiamini mwenyewe. Kwa bahati mbaya hata wanawake wanaoonekana wanajiamini sana nao hufanya makosa kama haya ya kutokujiamini. Kuanzia leo ujue kwamba, mwanaume ukimwonyesha dalili za kujifanya huna uhakika na uhusiano wenu, maana yake wewe ni king'ang'anizi na mpenda kumiliki. Mwanaume huyo atakuona hufai.
    [​IMG]
    2.
    Kosa la pili: Kuwaongelea vibaya mabwana zako wa zamani. mwanaume atakuwa na wasiwasi kama akiachana na wewe kwa bahati mbaya basi utamsilibia kama unavyowafanyia wanaume ulioachana nao. Usijifanye kumponda wa zamani, huna haja ya kumtaja au kumzungmzia kama sio lazima. Si hivyo tu, pia kuwaongelea vibaya wanawake wengine ina mchango wake katika kumkimbiza mwanaume umpendaye. Wanawake wana kawaida ya kuwaponda wanawake wenzao kwa kuwaita Malaya na maneno machafu kama hayo. Hii mara nyingi inatokana na kuwaonea wivu wanawake hao kutokana na uzuri wao. Wanakuwa na wasiwasi kwamba, watawachukua mabwana zao. Mwanaume akigundua kwamba unamponda mwanamke mwenzio kwa sababu tu ya uzuri wake, anajua hujiamini na unajihisi huko salama. Atakuona hufai

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    3.
    Kosa la tatu: Kufikiria kwamba kwa kufanya sana naye ngono ndio kumweka kwapani badala ya kumshika kihisia. Wanawake wengi wanaota ndoto kwamba wanaume wana usongo sana na ngono na ndicho kipaumbele chao pekee….. na wanadhani kwamba ukimdhibiti mwanaume kingono ndiyo umemaliza kazi yote kwani itakuwa ni rahisi kumteka kihisia. Mwanaume ana kawaida ya kutenganisha uhusiano, anaona kuna uhusiano wa aina mbili ambao ni uhusiano wa kingono na uhusiano wa kihisia. Inatakiwa sanaa kubwa kwa mwanamke kuziunganisha aina hizo mbili za uhusiano ili mwanaume asiendelee kuzitenganisha. Mwanamke anayeweza kufanikiwa kumuweka mwanaume kwapani ni yule anayeweza kumnasa mwanaume kingono na kihisia. Lakini kikubwa zaidi ni kihisia kuliko ngono. Juhudi za kumpa ngono kwa njia hizi au zile haziwezi kuzaa matunda kama kihisia watu wako mbali.
    [​IMG]
    4. Kosa la nne: Uzuri wa mwanaume. Wanawake wengi wanakuwa na kigugumizi kuhusu kuweka uzuri wa mwanaume kama kipaumbele cha kwanza. ndiyo, uzuri ni jambo jema, lakini linaweza kuwa jambo la hatari. Tatizo ni kwamba mkiendelea kumchagua mwanaume kutokana na uzuri wake ni rahisi kuvurugikiwa na akili kutokana na uzuri huo kiasi cha kushindwa kuyaona makosa yake mapema. Unakuja kugundua kwamba, pamoja na uzuri wa mwanume huyo. Si lolote si chochote kitabia. Unaanza kuchanganyikiwa wakati uko ndani ya ndoa. Na mara nyingi, uhusiano unaolegalega ni kwa sababu wanawake waliwachagua waume zao kutokana na uzuri wao wa sura na maumbile………………..

    Nitaendelea kudadavua sababu nyingine nikipata fursa ya kufanya hivyo…………….
     
  2. j

    jeneneke JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 26, 2012
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    nimependa picha
     
  3. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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  4. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    namba 3 inahuu aisee...watu bize ufundi wa 6X6 kumbe kuna mengi zaidi.
     
  5. chameli

    chameli Senior Member

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    Aug 26, 2012
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    kuzungumzia mabwana wa zamani kwangu ngumu sababu jamaa atachoka yaani mabwana wangu wa zamani wanajaa Dar Express na wengine wanasimama.
     
  6. telitaibi

    telitaibi JF-Expert Member

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    tumekupata mkuu sasa nakaa mkao wa part 2 ya hii
     
  7. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    haya kazi ipo na ndio maana miye huwa nawashangaa sana ambao kwao akipata bf kesho ngono inaanza kumbe ni kujizeesha tu. mwanmke ujitunze wasikurubuni manake wanaume huwa hata siku moja hawachoki kufanya ngono. kwao kila akipewa basi atakubali na huwa wala haimaanish chochote katk maisha yao zaid ya starehe tu.
     
  8. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Mimi namsubiri Zinduna aje hapa!!
     
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  9. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    hapo namba mbili, hiyo inaboa si tu kwa wanaume hata mwanamke....kwa nini umdiss ex wako?....

    Halafu namba nne unaongelea uzuri upi? Wa sura? Yaani handsomeboys? Au? Kama handsomeboys oooophs huwa hawafai.....

    Lakini heri uwaambie wanawake, mchezo wa kujiachia siku mbili tu anaishia kitandani kwa mwanaume haufai.....
     
  10. MtamaMchungu

    MtamaMchungu JF-Expert Member

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    Out of topic kidogo, Nilipomaliza form six, my cousin sister (older than me) alinipa hiki kitabu cha Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Its one of the best book I have ever read. It opened up my mind big time, I think kila mwenye kujua kusoma akitafute.
     
  11. Paloma

    Paloma JF-Expert Member

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    Asante kwa somo babu
     
  12. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 27, 2012
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    umenikumbusha marehemu jamaa yetu aliwahi kusema kuwa hata kama hatukumzika mabibi zake wote wakifika kaburini na kila mmoja akadodosha chu.pi yake moja kaburini litajaa,ndo hayo ya dar express,hongera kwa kuji express,mwili wako babu utumie utakavyo!
     
  13. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    ama kweli umebadili tabia,hongera!
     
  14. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    Zinduna anasumbuliwa na ujauzito,niko naye hapa clinic amana,nimwambieje?
     
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  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #15
    Aug 27, 2012
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    Mimba ya mkeo inaendeleaje?
     
  16. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    gfsonwin,NYIE NDO MNACHOKA NGONO? ULIZA MWANAUME YEYOTE AMBAYE ANA BIBI MWENYE UMRI WA KUANZIA 35-45 AKUELEZE SURUBA ANAYOPATA.KATIKA UMRI HUU MWANAMKE NDO ANAPEVUKA (NA KUANZA KUMWAGA MAYI) BASI SHUGHULI YAKE UTATAMANI NYUMBA UHAME,ASK ANY MAN AKIWA MKWELI ATAKWAMBIA.
     
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  17. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    umesikia yaliyotokea juzi asubuhi new york karibu na empire building? nikikushukia kile kitakuwa cha mtoto.
     
  18. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    umekariri eh? utekelezaji?
     
  19. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Aug 27, 2012
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    I can vouch for you.

    Your wife loves me a lot because I lay down the pipe more than you could ever do.

    And that's why she calls you Ngabu when your name is Bishanga.
     
  20. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Duh!Kumbeee!!Sasa wewe upo nae kiaje?
     
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