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Mwanamke Je, bado una hisia za kumpenda mpenzi mliyeachana?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Aug 16, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi JF Gold Member

    #1
    Aug 16, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Kuondokana na hisia za mapenzi dhidi ya mpenzi uliyetokea kumpenda sana lakini mkaachana katika mazingira ambayo hukuyatarajia, si jambo rahisi na hasa kama wewe ndiye uliyeachwa. Unaweza kujiambia kwamba amekosea sana kukuacha na kamwe hatoweza kumpata mwanamke atakayempenda kama ulivyompenda wewe. Lakini kiukweli ndani ya moyo wako unampenda na kitendo cha kukuacha bado kinakuumiza na kukutesa. Inawezekana pia ukawa unatamani sana akurudie kwa sababu ulimpenda sana na unahisi upweke moyoni. Kwa mwanamke aliyeachwa, kuwaza hivyo ni jambo la kawaida kabisa, labda kama hukutokea kumpenda mwanaume huyo. Lakini kama miezi na miaka inapita na bado unaendelea kuwa na mawazo ya aina hiyo, basi hilo litakuwa ni tatizo, na hapa chini nitajaribu kueleza namna ya kuondokana na mawazo ya aina hiyo na kuendelea na maisha, kwani kuachwa na mpenzi sio mwisho wa dunia.
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    1.Unamuwaza muda wote

    Hili ni jambo la kawaida, lakini duh, kama unajikuta unamuwaza mpenzi aliyekuacha muda wote na kujikuta unashindwa kufanya mambo yako ya msingi kwa ustawi wa maisha yako, basi hilo ni tatizo ambalo linahitaji kupatiwa ufumbuzi. Ingawa waswahili husema "lisilo machoni, halipo moyoni," lakini mimi nasema sio kila lisilo machoni halipo moyoni, kwa swala la mapenzi nadhani iko hivyo. Ukweli ni kwamba hujui yuko wapi, anafanya nini au yuko na nani na hapo ndipo utakapojikuta ukitafuta picha mlizopiga mkiwa pamoja wakati wa kilele cha mapenzi yenu, na wakati mwingine unaweza kusikia wimbo fulani ambao aliupenda sana ukakukumbusha tukio lililowakuta mkiwa pamoja ambalo linahusiana na wimbo huo. Kwa kifupi ni kwamba, ni jambo la kawaida sana kumkumbuka mpenzi mliyeachana mara kwa mara baada ya kuachana. Lakini kama mawazo hayo yanaonekana kukuumiza na kukupotezea muda basi jua kwamba, jambo hilo linaweza kukuletea matatizo makubwa sana kiafya.

    Namna gani utaondokana na tatizo hili: Muda ni nyenzo muhimu sana katika kuponya. Kama unashindwa kupata suluhu ya namna ya kuondokana na mawazo ya huyo mpenzi mliyeachana naye, basi jipe muda, kwani kwa kujipa muda zaidi unajipa nafasi ya kuponya majeraha ambayo yanaonekana kukutesa. Kwa jinsi muda unavyochukua nafasi ndivyo unavyomudu kusahau na ndio maana waswahili husema yaliyopita si ndwele tugange yajayo
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    2.Unaogopa kumkubali mwanaume mwingine…

    Mojawapo ya dalili za kuonyesha kwamba bado unamkumbuka mpenzi wako uliyeachana naye ni kitendo cha kuogopa kuwa na mtoko na mwanaume mwingine. Unachofanya na labda hukijui ni kulinganisha wanaume wanaokuomba mtoko na huyo mpenzi wako, na mara nyingi kinachotokea ni kwamba kila mwanaume unayekutana naye anakuwa na tofauti kubwa na mpenzi uliyeacha naye na hapo ndipo unapojikuta ukishindwa kukubali kutoka naye. Jambo usilolijua ni kwamba sifa za huyo mpenzi wako uliyeachana naye unaziweka juu sana kiasi kwamba kila mwanaume unayekutana naye unashindwa kumpa nafasi kwani unajaribu kumfanya huyo mpenzi wako mliyeachana naye kama vile ni mtu asiye na kasoro kabisa jambo ambalo si kweli.

    Namna ya kuondokana na tatizo hilo: Usilazimishe. Kama huko tayari kutoka na mwanaume mwingine, basi jipe muda kwani ukilazimisha, hutakuwa unamtendea haki huyo mpenzi mpya kwa sababu kuna uwezekano mkubwa wa kugombana mapema mno kutokana na kujaribu kwako kutaka kumbadilisha afanane na mpenzi mliyeachana naye. Na kama ikitokea uhusiano wenu ukavunjika mapema, itakuumiza zaidi. Hata hivyo naomba kutahadharisha kwamba kuwa na mtoko na mwanaume haina maana ya kuingia katika mahusiano. Wakati mwingie kuwa na mtoko na mwanaume na kujirusha katika klabu mbalimbali za starehe inasaidia sana kuharakisha kukuondoa katika maumivu ya kuachana na mpenzi wako wa zamani.
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    3. Unaumia sana baada ya kumuona akiwa na mpenzi mwingine….

    Inaumiza sana baada ya kugundua kwamba mpenzi wako kapata mpenzi mwingine nakuendela na maisha muda mfupi tu baada ya kuachana kwenu. Yaani wakati wewe bado unauguza vidonda vya kuachana na mpenzi wako, yeye zamaaani keshakusahau na kusonga mbele na maisha huku akiwa na mpenzi mpya. Hii inauma sana na ni sawa na kukupiga kofi la usoni.Iwapo umeachana na mpenzi wako halafu inatokea unamkuta akiwa na mpenzi mwingine na hali hiyo ikawa haikushtui wala kukukera basi jua kwamba, jambo hilo limeshapita na umemudu kuondokana nalo. Lakini kama ukikutana na mpenzi mliyeachana akiwa na mwanamke mwingine na jambo hilo likakuumiza kihisia na kuhisi wivu basi ujue kwamba, bado unampenda mpenzi huyo na bado hujamudu kumuondoa mawazoni mwako.

    Namna ya kuondokana na tatizo hilo: Endelea na maisha na huhitaji kujiumiza kwa kumuwaza sana, haitakusasidia kumrudisha. Ni kweli kwamba, kitendo cha kumuona akiwa na mwanamke mwingine kinakera na kinaumiza hisia, lakini kumbuka kwamba huna jinsi, maji yameshamwagika. Jaribu kuutumia muda wako mwingi na marafiki au familia yako na jichanganye na marafiki wenye upendo ambao watakufariji na kukutoa katika simanzi ya kujeruhiwa kihisia.
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    4. Bado unatembelea maeneo mliyokuwa mkitoka pamoja…

    Kama unajikuta bado unatembelea katika maeneo mliyokuwa mkitoka pamoja wakati wa kilele cha mapenzi yenu, inaweza ikawa ni kwenye Mghahawa, ukumbi senema, au klabu ya usiku, basi inawezekana bila kujijua unajikuta ukipenda kutembelea katika maeneo hayo ukitarajia kuonana naye. Lakini inawezekana ukawa unatembelea maeneo hayo ukiwa na dhamira ya kuonana naye. Unaweza kujipamba hasa na lebasi za ulimbwende na mavazi ya thamani na kwenda katika maeneo hayo kwa lengo la kutaka akuone jinsi ulivyo mzuri na ulivyopendeza ili akurudie. Kama unajikuta ukifanya hivyo, basi jua kwamba hujaondokana na jakamoyo la kuachwa na kama akikuona asipoonyesha kujali wala kuvutiwa na wewe, utaumia zaidi.

    Namna ya kuondokana na tatizo hilo: Acha ujinga mwanamke. Fanya kinyume chake na badilisha maeneo ya kutembelea na punguza mitoko kwa kadiri uwezavyo kama unayo dhamira hasa ya kumuondoa katika mawazo yako. Iwapo marafiki zako unaotoka nao wanasisitiza kwenda katika maeneo ambayo mlikuwa mkitoka na huyo mpenzi wako na unahisi unaweza kukutana naye, kutokana na yeye kupenda sana kutembelea maeneo hayo, basi ni vyema usitishe huo mtoko.
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    5. Unafanya vibweka katika mitandao ya kijamii......

    Hii mara nyingi hufanywa na mabinti wa siku hizi wanaotumia mitandao ya kijamii kama Facebook, twitter nk. Mabinti wa siku hizi hutumia sana mitandao ya kijamii katika kuwasiliana na kuweka picha za matukio yanayowahusu. Iwapo inatokea unatumia mbinu mbalimbali za kuweka picha zako katika mitandao ya kijamii ambazo zinaamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa nia ya kumvuta mpenzi wako ili akurudie, unaweza kujisikia vibaya na labda kuumia kihisia kama itatokea hataguswa na picha hizo.

    Namna ya kuondokana na tatizo hilo: Usiwe mtoto mdogo. Kumbuka kwamba kuendelea kumkumbuka mpenzi mliyechana ni jambo lenye kuumiza sana. Ukweli ni kwamba itakuwa ni ujinga kufanya mbinu hizo za kitoto kutumia mitandao ya kijamii kutaka kumvuta mpenzi mliyeachana, kwani kitendo hicho kitakufanya azidi kukudharau na kukuponda. Jaribu kwa juhudi kubwa kutoyapa uzito mawazo yoyote yatakayokukumbusha mapenzi yenu na mpenzi mliyeachana naye. Kwani kuendelea kuyapa uzito mawazo hayo, ndio sababu ya wewe kusumbuka sana kwa mbinu mbalimbali kutaka mrudiane. Iwapo utafanikiwa kuyazika mawazo yote kuhusu huyo mpenzi mliyeachana, hakika utamudu kusonga mbele kwa ustawi wa maisha yako……………….
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  2. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Katika mambo ambayo yanatesa hisia za wanawake ni hili,mimi binafsi kama mwanaume nikikutana na mwanamke wa aina hii,ili kumsaidia nitakuwa rafiki yake na sio kutaka kuwa mpenzi.Kuwa rafiki kuna maana ya kumsaidia na kumpa kampani ya kumsaidia kujua kuwa maisha bado yana maana.Ni jambo gumu sana kuanzisha mahusiano ya kimapenzi na mtu wa aina hii!
     
  3. felinda

    felinda JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 16, 2012
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    msg delivered,,,,,,,,,,,,,i will work on it!
     
  4. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 16, 2012
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    mmmm, asante!
     
  5. Ruttashobolwa

    Ruttashobolwa JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Kweli Mtambuzi umetoa msaada mkubwa!
     
  6. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Ila kuachwa jamani mmh ..... kusikie tu kwa jirani!
     
  7. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 16, 2012
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    Kibuti kibaya mkuu....maana kichaa chake hakina dawa mirembe.
     
  8. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 17, 2012
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    Duh... Mi hata kuielezea hii kitu inanishinda.. Hayo machungu yake jamani hayaelezeki..! Kutokana na mazingira tuliyoachania na huyo bwana kwa kweli haijatokea hata siku moja nikatamani nimrudie maana niliumia sanaaa na nikahisi hata ningejipendekeza tena kwake ningeambulia maumivu plus plus.!
     
  9. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi JF Gold Member

    #9
    Aug 17, 2012
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    Pole binti, naamini yaliyopita si ndwele sasa ganga yajayo..............................
     
  10. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    Asante sana Baba Ngina... Aaah.. Saivi niko na life nyingine kabisa sina hata muda nae huyo..!
     
  11. Fhorbity

    Fhorbity Member

    #11
    Apr 30, 2013
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    da namimi imetokea kama hyo nimeachwa na mpenzi nilo mpenda sana yani sijui hata nifanye nini
     
  12. P

    PreetG Senior Member

    #12
    Apr 30, 2013
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    Nilijifunza kusamahe, kusahau na kumove on na maisha yangu!
     
  13. babby

    babby Member

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    nampenda sana!! sijui kama ntaweza kumsahau..R.I.P ma luv
     
  14. amu

    amu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 30, 2013
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    Mtambuzi ahsante
    halafu naomba muulize huyu Mentor ananitaka? aseme tu maana kila nikiingia naona kanimention na kuniunganisha na wanaume za watu humu ndani watu, watu wanandoa zao humu na mahawara kila kona anataka alete vita vya dunia? Mentor naomba useme tu manake niko single, am available kabla sijapokea proposal za wengine
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  15. amu

    amu JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 30, 2013
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    halafu kwa nini nyie wanaume mnamtenda mtu akishamove on na maisha yake kakusahau unarudi mikono nyuma magoti umepiga kuomba msamaha???/
     
  16. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 30, 2013
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    mbona hii kama ngekewa..too good to be true.

    Yes Raiza nakupenda, nakutaka, nakuhitajiiiii
    Moyo wangu wakuwaza vile uko mbali nami....

    I want you, I love you then I need youuuuu
    My heart is thinking of you though you are far away from me...

    Je veux que vous, Je t'aime, puis J'ai besoin de vous
    mon coeur pense à toi si tu es loin de moi.

    Kaka BAK nisaidie kumwekea link hapo.

    ...anxiously waiting.:pray2:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  17. amu

    amu JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    subiri nimalize ku:mvutaji::mvutaji::mvutaji: nitakurudia
     
  18. B

    Baraka mungure Senior Member

    #18
    Apr 30, 2013
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    Mapenz ndo hayo! Katika mapenz msipokuwa na neno moja tu "Nisamehe" hayo mpenz huwa hayafiki mbali epuken maneno ya watu. Niushaur tu mwenyewe cjaingi ktk mapenz.
     
  19. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    Mkuu Mentor suuzika roho yako




     
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  20. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 1, 2013
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    Cc: mbebs Raiza
     
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