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mwanamke ambaye hajaolewa vs mwanaume ambaye hajaoa.

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by kinyoba, Oct 27, 2011.

  1. kinyoba

    kinyoba JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Wanajamii mi nahitaji kujua je katika makundi haya mawili Je ni yupi anaonekana amekosa maadili au kukosa maana mbele ya jamii hasa inapotokea mwanaume anao watoto lakini hana mke anaejulikana ama mwanamke anao watoto lakini hana mume anaejulikana na umri umeshasogea?. Nawasilisha.
     
  2. DASA

    DASA JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 27, 2011
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    Wote wawili!
     
  3. AMINATA 9

    AMINATA 9 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 27, 2011
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    umenena vema
     
  4. m

    mhondo JF-Expert Member

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    Inategemea na maisha anayoishi. Kama mtu anajiheshimu ingawa hana ndoa sioni kama ni ukosefu wa maadili.
     
  5. kinyoba

    kinyoba JF-Expert Member

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    Binafsi naona hivyo ila naona kama wanawake wanarushiwa sana kejeli sasa sijui hii imekaaje?
     
  6. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    Hakuna jibu zaidi ya hili
     
  7. Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel JF Gold Member

    #7
    Oct 27, 2011
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    Swali la msingi...kuoa ni maadili?...
     
  8. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

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    Kwanza kuna tatizo la kudhani kuwa hawa wana tatizo kuliko kutoa uchangiaji wa nani anaonekanaje!
     
  9. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

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    Hivi katika jamii nani ana set standards za hicho kinaitwa 'maadili'?
    Who are we to judge other peoples life styles?
    Pilipili usiyokula yakuwashia nini?
    Mtu yuko kwake na wanae wanakula,wanavaa ,wanasoma,kwenye bembea anawapeka,always she/he is there for them,sisi wengine hizi kelele ni za nini?
    Watoto wangapi wanalelewa katika so called perfect arrangement ya baba na mama under one roof na unakuta baba wiki haoni watoto ni kuondoka alfajiri kurudi usiku mama mlevi,baba na mama wanapigana mbele ya watoto na matusi kwa kwenda mbele, etc.
    Wana mmu jamani live and let live,tuache kuwa tunahukumu maisha ya watu,afterall kitanda usicholalia...
     
  10. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    hakuna alokosa maadili. Kila mtu ana maisha yake na anayapanga atakavyo na kuishi apendavyo mradi havunji sheria ya nchi
     
  11. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    matatizo ya kutaka unavyoishi wewe ndo kila mtu aishi hvyo. Wanasahau kila mtu anaishi vile atakavyo c kwa kuangalia fulani au kikundi fulani kinavyotaka.

    Yaleyale ya kusema kuoa/kuolewa ni heshima, wakati kinacholeta heshima ni tabia ya mtu. Ukiwa kwenye ndoa wakati ni mzinzi, mlevi, mala**a, heshima iko wapi?
     
  12. Bishanga

    Bishanga JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    hapo sasa,full unafiki,sa ingine jf/mmu nachoka kabisa.
     
  13. Meritta

    Meritta JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 27, 2011
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    mi naona ni fashion tu kwa vijana wengi
     
  14. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #14
    Oct 27, 2011
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    Mwanamke ambae Hajaolewa at age 28+ bila sababu za msingi.
    • Anaonekana kama alikua wakujirahisi hasa kama ana zaidi ya mtoto mmoja baba tofauti.
    • Anaonekana kama alikua anachagua saana wachumba mpaka kashangaa tu umri umeenda.
    • Anaonekana ana kasoro hasa mwilini (hata awe mzuri vipi) hasa maeneo husika.
    • Anaonekana kama vile sio wife material, tena usiombe ni msomi ambae ni independent.
    • Akiwa na watoto wa baba mmoja anakua defined kama nyumba ndogo...
    • Ukweli ni kwamba pamoja na kusema heshima ipo, heshima sio genuine tofauti na rika hilo mwenye mume ama aliewahi olewa.
    Mwanaume kama hajaoa 35+ bila sababu za msingi...
    • Anaonekana hapendi majukumu ya kulea familia - hasa kama ana watoto.
    • Asipoonekana na wanawake mara kwa mara huonekana *******... ama kua na matatizo fulani, saa ingine hata kuzushiwa shoga...
    • Anoanekana ni player, tena mara nyingi na vibinti vidogo... (jamaa wa namna hii hupoteza hata marafiki) maana wanajua tabia zake, hawamtaki karibu na dada/wake/watoto zao..
    • Anaonekana si kamilifu mbele ya wanaume wenzake hata kama anabadilisha wanawake kama nguo...
    Take NOTE: Nimeongelea wale ambao kabisa hawajawahi Oa/Olewa. ALAFU Tusidanganyane Jamani, Ndoa ina Heshima yake kubwa saana katika Jamii na macho ya Jamii.. Ni moja ya taasisi ambayo inamfanya mtu aheshimike, hata hivo wale ambao hawakubaliani na maneno yangu... sio lazima.
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Ni heshima iwapo tu wahusika nao wanaiheshimu hiyo ndoa....otherwise ni udanganyifu mtupu.
     
  16. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #16
    Oct 27, 2011
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    Kiukweli Lizzy Wanandoa wengi wanakaa katika ndoa zao siku hizi out of obligation rather than Love, Hio imefanya kua heshima ya Spouses dhidi ya ndoa zao zishuke kwa kiasi kikubwa... Ila kumbuka kua as much as walooana ni wawili, hawaishi in isolation hawa watu, jamii nayo inawaangalia pia kama wanandoa. Na wanajamii hata hua hawaangaliag logic (kweli ni kitu cha ajab - yet funny in a sad way) Hawajali kwamba hampendani, hawajali kua mmoja ni cheater or both, hawajali kua mmoja hulala constantly nje... Wao wanachoona ni kua tu wale pale (hio couple ni wanandoa.. baas)...

    Hivo basi tukiangalia hio ndoa kwa macho ya jamii nzima (tuache logic) wanaona ni ndoa na watawaheshim as a couple... BUT nyie wahusika sasa kama Mke ama Mme ndo mwaweza sema accurately kama kuna ndoa hapo ama lah! tegemea na kama kila mmoja aheshimu hio ndoa ipasavo.
     
  17. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 27, 2011
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    Unayosema ni kweli kabisa....ila mimi nlikua namaanisha HESHIMA ya kweli, wanayostahili wanandoa achana na hii ya kinafiki.

    Binafsi nashindwa kuelewa nia na maana ya kuheshimu ndoa tu ilimradi ndoa wakati baadhi ya wenye hizo ndoa maisha wanayoishi hayana cha maadili wala nini.Ifike mahali jamii ianze kuangalia mambo kwa undani badala ya kupaka hata yale maovu rangi za kupendeza na kujaribu kuwafanya wale wanaoishi maisha yaliyonyooka (japo tofauti na matarajio/matakwa ya jamii) wajisikie vibaya na kujihisi ni wakosaji.
     
  18. double R

    double R JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 27, 2011
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    Ndoa si fashion. Si mpango wa jamii moja tu. Si mpango wa dini moja au mbili. Si mpango wa kabila au tamaduni moja. It is universal culture. Nadhani ukikosa kuwepo kwa sababu zisizo za msingi, wewe ndo mwenye matatizo.
    Waulize watoto waulize watoto wanaolelewa na mama zao tu, wanavyotamani wangekuwa na baba zao, ni hivyo hivyo wanalelewa na baba zao wakati mama zao wako hai.
    Si jambo dogo, wengi lina waathiri kisakolojia.
    Halafu, asilimia kubwa ya wanadamu wa kawaida hutamani kuoa au kuolewa, wanapokuwa wamekosa au wamekosea njia ndo husema ndoa kitu gani. Hapo yanakuwa maneno ya mkosaji.
     
  19. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Nani aliekudanganya kwamba ni lazima ndoa ili wawili waweze kuishi pamoja???
    Wapo watu wengi tu hawajaona rasmi ila wanaishi pamoja na wanalea watoto wao kama wanao. Na wapo watu waliopo kwenye ndoa zinazotambulika ila kiukweli kule ndani ni kama vile hawapo....na watoto wanabaki kua jukumu la mzazi mmoja wakati wote wawili wanajulikana kua ni wanandoa.
     
  20. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #20
    Oct 27, 2011
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    Oh Lizzy dearest.... Ndoa haina adabu kama ilivo Mapenzi hayana adabu.... Believe me. Mie ni moja wapo napenda saana ndoa, napenda wanandoa, napenda institution ya ndoa.... Na bana am telling you haina formulae... Siku zinavozidi kuenda ndio mtihani zaidi waongezeka... Wanaume ambao ni wanaume kweli wa kuoa idadi imeshuka, Wanawake ambao ni wanawake kweli potential wives ndo inapotea kabisa (mabinti wanashindwa kutofautisha haki sawa na wanaume na majukumu yake ndani ya ndoa; yaani kuchanganya mambo kuenda mbele)

    Kwa mantik hio, unayoongea ni ya msingi... And to God I wish it was simple and possible... BUT i know kazi ipo. Labda with extra effort kama ulivo suggest iwezekane... But kazi ipo... Na katika institutiona ya ndoa walau akina mama tunajitahidi saana kuheshimu ndoa zetu, mtihani unabaki kwa hawa watoto wakubwa hawa.... Dah! Nashindwa niseme nini...

    Ndo unajikuta tu you as a wife unaipaka tu rangi ndoa ambayo kumbe ni ndoano... Sometimes hata huelewi kwanini. But Mungu mkubwa kuna wengine hatimae zinarudi katika mstari... One thing i know for sure ni kua kama wenye matatizo na ndoa zao woote waamue kua waachie ngazi - katika mia zitabaki literally hata saba tu!
     
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