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Mume wa rafiki yangu

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Annina, Jun 3, 2010.

  1. Annina

    Annina JF-Expert Member

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    Wapendwa nina rafiki ambae pia ni jirani yangu. Urafiki ulianzia kwa mtoto wao wa miaka 4, tukafahamiana na mama wa mtoto na tukawa marafiki na hatimae nikatambulishwa kwa baba wa mtoto ambae pia ni mume wa huyu rafiki yangu. Tulipoonana mara ya kwanza akadai nafanana sana na dada mmoja na haamini kama hatuna undugu na huyo dada - mke wake hamfahamu huyo mdada ninaefananishwa nae nami simfahamu pia.

    Toka siku hiyo kila tunapoonana amekuwa hakosi cha kusema juu yangu, mara nina macho ya uhamasishaji, lips sijui za kufanyaje.... umbo la kampeni... nk nk. Amekuwa akiyasema hayo mbele ya mke wake na rafiki zake. Sijamzoea wala sina utani nae, na nimeweka wazi kwamba sifurahii anachokifanya lakini ni kama hanielewi. Leo asubuhi tumekutana akiwa na mke wake wanaelekea kazini, mke wake akaja kunisalimia na kunihug, mume nae akaja akafanya kama mke wake hii ni mara ya kwanza kwa yeye kunihug, akashtuka kama kapigwa shoti na akasema nina ngozi laini hajapata kuona! Nilijisikia vibaya na niliona mke wake pia amekosa amani. Sijui kilichoendelea baada ya kuachana nao. Nimebaki na maswali mengi na sijui ana maana gani kwa anayoyafanya lakini naona anavuka mipaka. Nilikuwa na imani mke wake atachukua hatua na kumkanya, sijui kama amefanya hivyo.

    Wapendwa mnalionaje hili?


    Annina
     
  2. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

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    Annina bana....... Hujambo lakini? Za masiku? Mbona umepotea kama miguu ya nyoka?

    Ngoja ni-reserve comments zangu kwanza. Will be back soon
     
  3. Askofu

    Askofu JF-Expert Member

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    Mwambie mbele ya mke wake kwamba hupendi tabia yake, la sivyo atadhani unafurahia huo ujinga wake... au mpotezee kabisa
     
  4. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #4
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    Hili mbona rahisi sana...Wewe usi-entertain hayo mambo yake kama kweli huna nia naye. Fanya jitihada zote za kumkwepa, kumuepuka, na kumwonesha kuwa you are as serious as a heart attack. Kwamba hutaki, hupendi, na hufurahishwi na anachofanya. Unaweza kuanza na lugha yako ya mwili. Lugha ya mwili inaweza kuelezea mengi sana bila hata ya kufungua mdomo wako. Asipoelewa lugha yako ya mwili basi mwambie. Mweleze kwa lugha inayoeleweka na isiyo na utata wowote.

    Hii siyo sayansi ya maroketi ya kwenda angani. Mtu yeyote mwenye maarifa ya kawaida tu ataweza kujua jinsi gani ya kukabiliana na jambo kama hilo kama KWELI ana nia ya kufanya hivyo. Ila sema akina dada wakati mwingine nao wanapenda hizi attention halafu wanajifanya hawazipendi.
     
  5. Annina

    Annina JF-Expert Member

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    Asante NN kwa ushauri, nimejaribu kumuonyesha na kumwambia spendi anachokifanya, na kama nilivyosema awali sina mazoea nae wala utani ni kama anaang'ang'ania kunizoea. Hapo kwa bold inawezekana wadada tunapenda attention lakini kwangu mimi anachokifanya si attention bali ni udhalilshaji!


    Annina
     
  6. Maarifa

    Maarifa JF-Expert Member

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    Kama kaanza siku nyingi nawe huthemi kitu live then wapenda kisirisir!! na kibaya zaidi mume wako akijua ndo mambo yatakuwa magumu zaidi. Usimkwepe. Face him na umwambie awache ukuda na ikiwezekana vunja mahusiano nao wote. put a line lakini kama unatbasam halafu ndani waimia atajuaje?
     
  7. Annina

    Annina JF-Expert Member

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    Xpin mi nipo salama namshukuru Mungu. Majukumu tu wakati mwingine tunalazimika kupotea. Asane kwa kujali


    Annina
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #8
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    Kama unaona unadhalilishwa au kunyanyaswa kijinsia (sexually harassed) basi sijui kwa nini hujaenda kutoa taarifa kwenye mamlaka husika i.e. polisi, human resources office, or whatever authority.

    Ni jambo rahisi sana hili. Mwambie yeye pamoja na mkewe kuwa hiyo tabia ikiendelea basi utampeleka huko kwenye mamlaka i/zinazohusika na mambo ya unyanywasaji wa kijinsia. Unasubiri nini - maoni ya wanaJF?

    Kuwa na msimamo/ chukua msimamo thabiti.
     
  9. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    chriss! naomba unieleweshe "umbo la kampeni" lipoje ili niweze kuendelea......watu wengine wanatafutaga kudhalilishwa mbele za watu jamani,...huyo mama hakumuonja kakofi azinduke labda bado yupo ucngizini.
     
  10. Annina

    Annina JF-Expert Member

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    NN umenifanya nicheke uliposema nasubiri nini - maoni ya JF? Well, kwa haraka haraka ushauri wako unafaa, lakini ukifikiri matokeo ya ya uamuzi huo waathirika wakuu watakuwa ni rafiki yangu na mtoto. Kama nilivyotangulia kusema, nilitegemea kwa kiasi kikubwa mke wake atachukua hatua - pengine amejaribu na kushindwa kama mimi sijui maana hatujazungumza juu ya hili.

    Si vibaya kupata mawazo ya wengine kupitia JF kabla sijachukua hatua, naamini kuna watu wengine yamewahi kuwatokea au yatawatokea - ndio lengo la kushare hili tatizo. Mpaka sasa tayari nina hali tofauti na asubuhi - nimeweza kucheka - naamini itanisaidia kufikiri na kuamua bila kuongozwa na jazba!

    Asante sana,

    Annina
     
  11. Elli

    Elli JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 3, 2010
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    Pole sana Mpendwa,
    Unazifahamu Body langauges??? Unafahami facial expression...nk. Vitumie hivyo ataelewa tu, wala huhitaji kugombana na mtu wakati Muumba kakupa akili.

    Lakini dada, kweli toka moyoni mwako hakuna hata chembe ya kumtamani mkaka wa watu??? maana na nyie dada zetu nyie...

    One thing; Muombe Mungu akuepushie na akupe ujasiri wa kumuona mkewe na kumweleza kuwa hupendelei tabia ya mumewe kwako.

    Hapo Vipi?? Kumbuka kale ka wimbi ka JIDE: Usikatae..akikuita, labda kesho yatakukuta..dunia...
     
  12. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...Mkewe ni rafiki yako, ongea nae hizo kero msikie nae atasema nini. Muhimu msisitizie hupendezwi na hizo 'mbwembwe' za shemeji, hata kama atakuhakikishia "hang'ati!"
     
  13. Elli

    Elli JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Sorry kwa makosa ya ki-uandishi, nadhani mwalimu wangu wa typing alitumia keyboard ya kichina
     
  14. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #14
    Jun 3, 2010
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    Kuathirika kwa mke na watoto yatakuwa ni matokeo ya matendo ya huyo jamaa. Vile vile nilitegemea na wewe mwenyewe ungejiona mwathirika (kwa sababu umesema unadhalilishwa) lakini sidhani kama unaliona hilo na kama unaliona basi unalifumbia macho. You can't be serious sister girl.

    Lakini pia, nimesema kwamba umwonye na umwambie hatua utakazochukua endapo ataendelea na hiyo tabia yake na katika kumwonya huko ni pamoja na kuzingatia athari zitakazotokea. Na hata ukimpeleka kwenye mamlaka husika, sidhani kama watampa adhabu ambayo itawaathiri sana wanaomtegemea. Sana sana atapewa onyo mara ya kwanza. Akirudia tena labda atadungwa no contact order. Mpaka hapo akiwa hajapata ujumbe basi hatua madhubuti na kali zaidi ndio pengine itabidi zichukuliwe.



    Sidhani kama unakerwa hivyo na anachokifanya. Kama kweli ungekuwa unakerwa basi ungekuwa angalau umeshalijadili na mkewe.


    Hapo wala sina ubishi. Hakuna ubaya wowote kupata maoni ya wengine.
     
  15. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

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    hehehehe!
    kweli hata thread yako ni za kikampeni zaidi.........
    halafu watu wanapingana na INFIDELITY..............
    SUBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTUUUUUUUUUUUUU
     
  16. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 3, 2010
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    Hapo kwenye red.....Natamani kukuona ili niongeze exposure:bounce:!

    Kwa vile bado hujamfahamu vizuri huyo bwana, inawezekana ni mapema mno kufanya conclusion yoyote hasa ukizingatia mambo hayo anafanya mbvele ya mekewe (hayafanyi mafichoni). Kwa mfano suala la ku'hug' kwa baadhi ya watu sio ishu kihivyo. Na hilo la kusifia, kuna watu wana tabia ya mzaha sana hata kwa watu wageni.

    Lakini kama walivyosema wengine kama ukaribu huo unakukera ni vema ukamueleza wazi huyo bwana bila kuuma maneno na hasa body language yako ioneshe kweli hupendi/hutaki!
     
  17. ELNIN0

    ELNIN0 JF-Expert Member

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    Annina - aminia mwanangu - nimependa hiyo sentensi inawezekana ukawa umejaariwa. si vibaya kusifiwa ila jaribu kumkwepa jamaaa anakoendea ni kubaya sana na kumbuka Mume wa mtu ni hatari kubwa, kuwa naye ni sawa na kuchezea kwenye manuru la moto - mpe live achana naye fastaa kabla hujaanza na wewe kumpenda kitambi chake, mavazi, tai nk....
     
  18. klorokwini

    klorokwini JF-Expert Member

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    akikukera sana ,mnadie mwizi bana!
     
  19. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Omba mungu umkute njiani peke yake ...........upate umpe kitu in black and white.
    kisha unamalizia kwa kumwambia kuwa akiendelea utamuadhiri mbele za kadamnasi
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Anina ......
    I miss u so........

    Hujambo?

    Kuhusu huyo jamaa,unahitaji a man around,ili amfumue mangumi siku moja ndo aelewe...
    Ngoja nije huko.........
     
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