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Mume mtulivu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????? ??

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mkare, Feb 22, 2011.

  1. M

    Mkare JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 22, 2011
    Joined: Dec 21, 2010
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    Mke wa Kelvin anajivunia mume mtulivu, hashindi baa na hatongozi videmu. Akitoka kazini huenda kucheza basketball na hurudi nyakati za dinner. Siku moja mkewe akamhurumia. Anachoka na kazi. Mtu gani asiyependa starehe japo kidogo? Mke akamlazimisha outing, Kelvin akabisha lakini taxi ikafika. Gonga Club & Lodge.

    Walipofika mlangoni tu, mlinzi akaita, Mambo Kelvin, Kelvin akaitika Poa Nilidhani huwa huji club, inakuwaje mlinzi anakufahamu? mke akauliza Yule mgambo, mchana analinda ofisini kwetu, usiku anapiga part time hapa akajibu Kelvin.

    Wakachagua meza. Kukaa tu tayari mhudumu ameshaleta castle lager. Akamuuliza mama anakunywa nini. Mhudumu alipoondoka mama akauliza, amejuaje unakunywa castle kama hakufahamu?

    Wakati Kelvin anajikanyaga aanze vipi kujitetea, mhudumu wa vyumba akawa amefika na kuuliza. Mkuu kama kawaida nimekuandalia namba tano, nendeni tu vinywaji nitawaletea huko huko

    Kufikia hapo mama akawa hana simile tena, akanyanyuka akitukana kama chizi. Akatoka nje mbio na kuingia katika taxi iliyokuwepo pale.

    Wakati anapatana bei na dereva, Kelvin naye akaingia. Mama yakamporomoka matusi kibao na kilio juu. Alipovuta kamasi na kupiga kwikwi akamsikia dereve anasema.

    Duh, eee bwana Kelvin huyu malaya uliyeokota leo balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    Mamaa aka:faint:

     
  2. The Son of Man

    The Son of Man JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 22, 2011
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    Ndoa ndoano!
     
  3. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 22, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
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    hii ipo kwenye jokes mpendwa! pole sana
     
  4. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 22, 2011
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    Nimeisikia na mimi
     
  5. ENZO

    ENZO JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 22, 2011
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    Hii c ilikwepo hapa jana!!! ....
     
  6. Gosbertgoodluck

    Gosbertgoodluck JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 23, 2011
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    Mmmhhh, hii kali ingawa inatuvurugia usalama wetu sisi tunaoaminiwa na wake zetu! Wasije wakaanza kutufuatilia bure.
     
  7. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 23, 2011
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
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    Kwenye jokes
     
  8. RealMan

    RealMan JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 23, 2011
    Joined: Nov 9, 2010
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    Thats why huwa sipendi kuforward meseji kwa simu au email.
    Hii joke ishazunguka sana kwenye internet naona watu wanaanza kuitafasiri kwa kiswahili na kuipa majina yao wenyewe.
     
  9. MduduWashawasha

    MduduWashawasha JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 23, 2011
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    Kelvin ni mshikaji wangu sana.Tatizo lake anapiga 'KAZI' mchana saa moja usiku yuko home kwa wife
     
  10. M

    Mkare JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 23, 2011
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    Yeah imekaa ki-jokes but ipo ki-MMU pia, na vipi kama mimi sipiti jukwaa hilo 2 save my ribs sasa... Wee huoni kwamba kuna some walikuwa hawajaiona... Thanx anyways kwa pole mwaya...!
     
  11. kilimasera

    kilimasera JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 25, 2011
    Joined: Dec 2, 2009
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    Mke wa Frank anajivunia mume mtulivu, hashindi baa na
    > hatongozi videmu.
    >
    > Akitoka kazini huenda kucheza basketball na hurudi nyakati
    > za dinner. Siku moja mkewe akamhurumia. Anachoka na kazi.
    > Mtu gani asiyependa starehe japo kidogo?
    >
    > Mke akamlazimisha outing, Frank akabisha lakini taxi
    > ikafika. Gonga Club & Lodge.
    >
    > Walipofika mlangoni tu, mlinzi akaita, “Mambo Frank!”
    > “Poa”
    >
    > “Nilidhani huwa huji club, inakuwaje mlinzi
    > anakufahamu?”
    > mke akauliza
    > “Yule mgambo, mchana analinda ofisini kwetu, usiku
    > anapiga part time hapa” akajibu Frank
    >
    > Wakachagua meza. Kukaa tu tayari mhudumu ameshaleta castle
    > lager.
    >
    > Akamuuliza mama anakunywa nini. Mhudumu alipoondoka mama
    > akauliza,
    > “amejuaje unakunywa castle kama hakufahamu?”
    >
    > Wakati Frank anajikanyaga aanze vipi kujitetea, mhudumu wa
    > vyumba akawa amefika na kuuliza.
    >
    > “Mkuu kama kawaida nimekuandalia namba tano, nendeni tu
    > vinywaji nitawaletea huko huko”
    >
    > Kufikia hapo mama akawa hana simile tena, akanyanyuka
    > akitukana kama chizi. Akatoka nje mbio na kuingia katika
    > taxi iliyokuwepo pale.
    >
    > Wakati anapatana bei na dereva, Frank naye akaingia. Mama
    > yakamporomoka matusi kibao na kilio juu. Alipovuta kamasi
    > na kupiga kwikwi akamsikia dereve anasema.
    >
    > “Duh, eee bwana Frank huyu malaya uliyeokota leo
    > balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa kuliko wa jana!!!!!!”
    >
    > Mamaa akazimiaaaa.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
     
  12. m

    mageuzi1992 JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 25, 2011
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    Hujai copy na kupaste hii?
     
  13. doup

    doup JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 25, 2011
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    hata kama ame copy & ku paste; ujumbe umefika "waaache kuchokonoa vitu wasivyo vijua"
     
  14. nziriye

    nziriye JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 25, 2011
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    inakera yani ana-change title tu ,stop that habit jamani .lol....
     
  15. z

    zayat JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 4, 2011
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    Frank ana balaaa[​IMG]


    Mke wa Frank anajivunia mume mtulivu, hashindi baa na hatongozi
    videmu. Akitoka kazini huenda kucheza basketball na hurudi nyakati za
    dinner. Siku moja mkewe akamhurumia. Anachoka na kazi. Mtu gani
    asiyependa starehe japo kidogo? Mke akamlazimisha outing, Frank
    akabisha lakini taxi ikafika. Gonga Club & Lodge.

    Walipofika mlangoni tu, mlinzi akaita, "Mambo Frank!" "Poa"

    "Nilidhani huwa huji club, inakuwaje mlinzi anakufahamu?" mke akauliza

    "Yule mgambo, mchana analinda ofisini kwetu, usiku anapiga part time
    hapa" akajibu Frank

    Wakachagua meza. Kukaa tu tayari mhudumu ameshaleta castle lager.
    Akamuuliza mama anakunywa nini. Mhudumu alipoondoka mama akauliza,
    "amejuaje unakunywa castle kama hakufahamu?"

    Wakati Frank anajikanyaga aanze vipi kujitetea, mhudumu wa vyumba
    akawa amefika na kuuliza.

    "Mkuu kama kawaida nimekuandalia namba tano, nendeni tu vinywaji
    nitawaletea huko huko"

    Kufikia hapo mama akawa hana simile tena, akanyanyuka akitukana kama
    chizi. Akatoka nje mbio na kuingia katika taxi iliyokuwepo pale.
    Wakati anapatana bei na dereva, Frank naye akaingia. Mama
    yakamporomoka matusi kibao na kilio juu. Alipovuta kamasi na kupiga
    kwikwi akamsikia dereve anasema.

    "Duh, eee bwana Frank huyu malaya uliyeokota leo balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

    mamaa akazimiaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    (JOB 100)
     
  16. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 4, 2011
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    Hii ilishaletwa. Tulishacheka, tukahuzunika...
    Tunashukuru lakini.
     
  17. 2my

    2my JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 6, 2011
    Joined: Jan 30, 2010
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    Mke wa Kelvin anajivunia mume mtulivu, hashindi baa na hatongozi
    videmu. Akitoka kazini huenda kucheza basketball na hurudi nyakati za
    dinner. Siku moja mkewe akamhurumia. Anachoka na kazi. Mtu gani
    asiyependa starehe japo kidogo? Mke akamlazimisha outing, Kelvin
    akabisha lakini taxi ikafika. Gonga Club & Lodge.

    Walipofika mlangoni tu, mlinzi akaita, Mambo Kelvin! Poa
    Nilidhani huwa huji club, inakuwaje mlinzi anakufahamu? mke akauliza
    Yule mgambo, mchana analinda ofisini kwetu, usiku anapiga part time
    hapa akajibu Kelvin.

    Wakachagua meza. Kukaa tu tayari mhudumu ameshaleta castle lager.
    Akamuuliza mama anakunywa nini. Mhudumu alipoondoka mama akauliza,
    amejuaje unakunywa castle kama hakufahamu?

    Wakati Kelvin anajikanyaga aanze vipi kujitetea, mhudumu wa vyumba
    akawa amefika na kuuliza.
    Mkuu kama kawaida nimekuandalia namba tano, nendeni tu vinywaji
    nitawaletea huko huko

    Kufikia hapo mama akawa hana simile tena, akanyanyuka akitukana kama
    chizi. Akatoka nje mbio na kuingia katika taxi iliyokuwepo pale.
    Wakati anapatana bei na dereva, Kelvin naye akaingia. Mama
    yakamporomoka matusi kibao na kilio juu. Alipovuta kamasi na kupiga
    kwikwi akamsikia dereve anasema.

    Duh, eee bwana Kelvin huyu malaya uliyeokota leo balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    Mamaa akazimiaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    kama ni ww ungefanyaje????????
     
  18. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 6, 2011
    Joined: Aug 17, 2010
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    Imeshakuwepo hapa zaidi ya mara tatu. Thanx anyway
     
  19. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

    #19
    Mar 6, 2011
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    Never trust a human being
     
  20. 2my

    2my JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 6, 2011
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    ok ila kwa wale ambao hatukubahatika kuiona its a tym 2 c it!!
     
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