Bujibuji Simba Nyamaume
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 4, 2009
- 74,850
- 155,792
Kuna vitu ambazo Muchatha kama angepewa nafasi ya kuzifanya hata saa hii niko adult hivi. Hii ndio list:
1. Kuminya Mukorino
Kwetu gichagi kurikuwaga na wakorino wengi sana. Na haki hao wamama hakuna siku ilipita bila yangu ku~wish nitagurumishia mbiruri yangu juu ya mmoja.Sijui kama ni hisyo nguo sya white sya mafiriri wanfaanga ndisyo zinafanyaga wakae soo innocent kama ma~neighbours wa malaika?. Haki hata wa leo nikipitia pale around JIAM and Muthurwa Sundays, nikiona hao wakorino wanakuaga hapo..mbiruri yangu inasimamaga kama kidole ya Moi akisema..kanu juu!
2. Kuminya Polisi ama soldier wa G4s
Hata wa leo kuna kitu na mapolisi kwanza wakiwa na uniform..yenye inafanyaga ni~mbao pap! Juzi kuna mwingine alinishikia hapa rounda ya Amiran..haki instead ya kujitetetea..nilijipata niki~negotiate na mbiruri yangu iwache kuniaibisha. Huyu mama alishida akiniambia..Ongea ama nikupeleke station ulipe Cash bail. Kila akisema hivyo haki mdomo yangu inasikia kuongea ni kama kusema..wafande si unipatie kahehia pris!. Aliharibu maneno vile aliingia kwa gari tena hapa mbele akaniambia..gurumisha sasa..haki mbiruri yangu ilisikia ..gurumisha mbiruri sasa!..Niliukia mpaka nikaanza kusweat kama mjinga..huyu mama akanisamehea..she thot I was panicking..Jinga! Wacha niingie hapo Securicor kutuma parcel ingine..si dame mwingine alikam kama ameshika hsyo waybill akaniabia..sighn hapa ..haki..wooiii..i guess hata mbiruri yangu ilichapa signature kwa ngotha yangu...obsession!
3. Kuminya Mwalimu wa Nursery
Hii ni ingine sasa ambayo sijui nitafanya nini. Imagine hata mimi hu~sacrifice kupeleka mtoi wa bro shule..na kwa jam tena ndio tu niende nisalimie huyu mwalimu wao. She is sooo loving and dresses soo nice. Ananikumbuchanga mwalimu wetu wa nathare ambaye alikuwa ananipenda ..mpaka masaa ya kulala saa nane..imajin alikuwa ananishika nilale kama mutoto. Alikuwa anaitwo Nanice (Nancy). I love u Nancy..umbaya saa hii hana meno. Na kijana wake ni msee kuniliko..NKT
4. Kuminya Nurse kwa Hosi....the day before ni dis~chargiwe after a two day fake admission
Juzi bibi yangu aliniuliza..mbona unapenda kukimbia Mater Hos. every time hata kama ni homa tu?..nikamwambia..sijui kwanini na~trust mater hivyo. Si ati ni ugonjwa..si ni hao ma nurse wanakaanga poooa na hutuo tu white short dress. Haki ya nani kwanza akinipima blood pressure akifinya finya hako ka ~baloon..naonaga kama ni mbiruri yangu anakamua.. Juzi nilijipeleka mater ndugu sanguni nikawaambia niko n sundo ...mamamamama..si hao watu wako sawa? Kwanza vile alinidunga sindano..akaniuliza..wapi boss..nikaanza kumtolea trouser .akaniambia..hiyo tosha..wacha tudunge kw mkono.
5. Kuminya mtu ako na buibui
Haki ya nani..nikiwa campus kuna haka ka~mswahili {wacheni kwanza nipanguthe machozi}...kalikuwa kanaitwa zuena Hassan..huyo motto alikuwa ameumbwa akaumbika. We were in the same discussion group kutoka first year till fourth year. Imagine tulikuwa soo close mpaka kananiambia..haki Muchatha mimi huwa ninamiss muti sana. Muchatha si uniambie vile inakuwaga..hapo hapo ninaokia kama farasi sya Ngong..imagine nikika Describia. Siku moja tukiwa kwa field kakaniambia ati mimi huvaa mini zingine hot sana..lakini lasima nivae hii gown juu dadi akiniona anawesa niua. Kakaniinulia buibui..si karibu nifaint..keupe kama malaika..mini imekambana kama ngozi..nikaimagini kahehia kako aje sadly hata hatukawi kiss..nikipata mmoja kama huyo ..
6. Kuwatch a politician who is a lesbian doing her thing live kwa keja yangu
Na imagine mabeshte wawili madem {politician working woman kama Martha Karua na Njoki ndungu hivi} wakam kunitembelea. Mmoja ni lesbo na mwingine ni straight {say Njoki ni straight}..kama tumekaa..waseme wanataka kuoga..si mnajua madem wako na hii upuzi ya ku~share shower..waanza kumek out..na mimi nikisikia hiyo commotion na moarns..nikimbie kucheki..nao waniambie..its ok u can watch!..naemza mbao na nijipige Kawasaki na mkono (ku~wank) mpaka nikitoka hapo..mkono ukue umevimba
7. Kuvisit Seshamane Ethiopia for one week
Kutoka kitamboo mimi hu~wish tu nipate nafasi ya kutembea seshamane Ethiopia..ku~skank na ku~chant babylon down kila siku. Haki naonaga kama nawesa sindwo kurudi tena. Imagine kuanzia ngware mpaka jioni ni ku~skank tu..na kuimba in praise of Jah Jah..na kutembea na Mosess rod..na ku~wank kwa ndom. Na kuvaa tu safari boot na tight jeans .wacha tu Si mtu ajitolee tupange safari?
1. Kuminya Mukorino
Kwetu gichagi kurikuwaga na wakorino wengi sana. Na haki hao wamama hakuna siku ilipita bila yangu ku~wish nitagurumishia mbiruri yangu juu ya mmoja.Sijui kama ni hisyo nguo sya white sya mafiriri wanfaanga ndisyo zinafanyaga wakae soo innocent kama ma~neighbours wa malaika?. Haki hata wa leo nikipitia pale around JIAM and Muthurwa Sundays, nikiona hao wakorino wanakuaga hapo..mbiruri yangu inasimamaga kama kidole ya Moi akisema..kanu juu!
2. Kuminya Polisi ama soldier wa G4s
Hata wa leo kuna kitu na mapolisi kwanza wakiwa na uniform..yenye inafanyaga ni~mbao pap! Juzi kuna mwingine alinishikia hapa rounda ya Amiran..haki instead ya kujitetetea..nilijipata niki~negotiate na mbiruri yangu iwache kuniaibisha. Huyu mama alishida akiniambia..Ongea ama nikupeleke station ulipe Cash bail. Kila akisema hivyo haki mdomo yangu inasikia kuongea ni kama kusema..wafande si unipatie kahehia pris!. Aliharibu maneno vile aliingia kwa gari tena hapa mbele akaniambia..gurumisha sasa..haki mbiruri yangu ilisikia ..gurumisha mbiruri sasa!..Niliukia mpaka nikaanza kusweat kama mjinga..huyu mama akanisamehea..she thot I was panicking..Jinga! Wacha niingie hapo Securicor kutuma parcel ingine..si dame mwingine alikam kama ameshika hsyo waybill akaniabia..sighn hapa ..haki..wooiii..i guess hata mbiruri yangu ilichapa signature kwa ngotha yangu...obsession!
3. Kuminya Mwalimu wa Nursery
Hii ni ingine sasa ambayo sijui nitafanya nini. Imagine hata mimi hu~sacrifice kupeleka mtoi wa bro shule..na kwa jam tena ndio tu niende nisalimie huyu mwalimu wao. She is sooo loving and dresses soo nice. Ananikumbuchanga mwalimu wetu wa nathare ambaye alikuwa ananipenda ..mpaka masaa ya kulala saa nane..imajin alikuwa ananishika nilale kama mutoto. Alikuwa anaitwo Nanice (Nancy). I love u Nancy..umbaya saa hii hana meno. Na kijana wake ni msee kuniliko..NKT
4. Kuminya Nurse kwa Hosi....the day before ni dis~chargiwe after a two day fake admission
Juzi bibi yangu aliniuliza..mbona unapenda kukimbia Mater Hos. every time hata kama ni homa tu?..nikamwambia..sijui kwanini na~trust mater hivyo. Si ati ni ugonjwa..si ni hao ma nurse wanakaanga poooa na hutuo tu white short dress. Haki ya nani kwanza akinipima blood pressure akifinya finya hako ka ~baloon..naonaga kama ni mbiruri yangu anakamua.. Juzi nilijipeleka mater ndugu sanguni nikawaambia niko n sundo ...mamamamama..si hao watu wako sawa? Kwanza vile alinidunga sindano..akaniuliza..wapi boss..nikaanza kumtolea trouser .akaniambia..hiyo tosha..wacha tudunge kw mkono.
5. Kuminya mtu ako na buibui
Haki ya nani..nikiwa campus kuna haka ka~mswahili {wacheni kwanza nipanguthe machozi}...kalikuwa kanaitwa zuena Hassan..huyo motto alikuwa ameumbwa akaumbika. We were in the same discussion group kutoka first year till fourth year. Imagine tulikuwa soo close mpaka kananiambia..haki Muchatha mimi huwa ninamiss muti sana. Muchatha si uniambie vile inakuwaga..hapo hapo ninaokia kama farasi sya Ngong..imagine nikika Describia. Siku moja tukiwa kwa field kakaniambia ati mimi huvaa mini zingine hot sana..lakini lasima nivae hii gown juu dadi akiniona anawesa niua. Kakaniinulia buibui..si karibu nifaint..keupe kama malaika..mini imekambana kama ngozi..nikaimagini kahehia kako aje sadly hata hatukawi kiss..nikipata mmoja kama huyo ..
6. Kuwatch a politician who is a lesbian doing her thing live kwa keja yangu
Na imagine mabeshte wawili madem {politician working woman kama Martha Karua na Njoki ndungu hivi} wakam kunitembelea. Mmoja ni lesbo na mwingine ni straight {say Njoki ni straight}..kama tumekaa..waseme wanataka kuoga..si mnajua madem wako na hii upuzi ya ku~share shower..waanza kumek out..na mimi nikisikia hiyo commotion na moarns..nikimbie kucheki..nao waniambie..its ok u can watch!..naemza mbao na nijipige Kawasaki na mkono (ku~wank) mpaka nikitoka hapo..mkono ukue umevimba
7. Kuvisit Seshamane Ethiopia for one week
Kutoka kitamboo mimi hu~wish tu nipate nafasi ya kutembea seshamane Ethiopia..ku~skank na ku~chant babylon down kila siku. Haki naonaga kama nawesa sindwo kurudi tena. Imagine kuanzia ngware mpaka jioni ni ku~skank tu..na kuimba in praise of Jah Jah..na kutembea na Mosess rod..na ku~wank kwa ndom. Na kuvaa tu safari boot na tight jeans .wacha tu Si mtu ajitolee tupange safari?
