Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Mtaani kwetu na vituko vya Asha ngedere!

Discussion in 'JF Chit-Chat' started by NasDaz, Oct 3, 2011.

  1. N

    NasDaz JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: May 6, 2009
    Messages: 11,339
    Likes Received: 1,567
    Trophy Points: 280
    Asha Ngedere jamani ana vituko! Na vijana wa mtaani kwetu ndo wanazidi kuvipambisha moto vituko vya Asha Ngedere! Wasifu wa nje wa Asha Ngedere ni wa kufurahisha! Angalia miguu yake; full vigimbi!! Unaweza hata kuvunjia nazi kwenye vigimbi vya Asha Ngedere! Vijana wa mtaani kwetu wakaanza kumpamba; eti Asha Ngedere ana bonge la mguu wa bia! Kusikia hivyo; Asha Ngedere akaacha uvaaji wa nguo ndefu na kuanza kuvaa vi-min sket kv kaambiwa ana mguu wa bia!! Akawa anapita kila mtaa kwa mbwembwe huku akionesha vigimbi vyake huku yeye akiamini anawa-kill kwa guu la bia!! Kila alipopita, vijana wakamshangilia kwa mbinje na kila aina ya hamasa hali iliyomfanya Asha Ngedere azidishe kudunda kwa mikogo!!!!

    Baada ya vijana kuuona udhaifu huu wa Asha Ngedere; wa kupenda kusifiwa; basi akatokea kijana mmoja akamwambia eti ana tumbo zuri na tamu mithili ya J-Lo! Bila kufikiria; Asha Ngedere akaacha tabia yake ya zamani ya kuvaa fulana kubwa na sasa akaanza kutinga ki-top!! Wenye akili zetu tukabaki Hamadi! Hivi huyu Asha Ngedere halioni hili tumbo na tovu la kuchukiza hata aamue kuvaa ki-top!! Ni wachache sana ambao walifahamu chanzo cha Asha Ngedere kuvaa top; kwamba amesifiwa na vijana wa mtaani kwetu kuwa ana tumbo zuri mithili ya la J-Lo!!!

    Sasa ikawa kila mtaa Asha Ngedere angepita huku akionesha vigimbi, tumbo na tovu lake la kuchukiza huku yeye mwenyewe akiamini anawadedisha watu kwa mguu wa bia na tumbo mithili ya lile la J-Lo! Kila alipopita; vijana wakamshangilia kwa vifijo, hali iliyomfanya Asha Ngedere azidi kuvimba kichwa kwa kuamini yeye ni bonge la mwanamke lililojaaliwa uzuri uliotukuka!

    Usiposhangaa ya Musa, utazimia na ya Firuni! Mtaani kwetu yakaanzishwa mashindano ya kumtafuta mwanamke mwenye umbo la kuchukiza!!! Ogopa wapambe; wahenga walishatuhasa kwamba WAPAMBE NUKSI! Wapambe wa Asha Ngedere wakaamua kumdhihaki swahiba wao! Badala ya kumwambia ukweli; wakamwambia mashindano yaliyoanzishwa mtaani kwetu ni ya kumsaka mrembo mwenye mvuto!! Wakaandelea kumwambia kwamba; kwa jinsi alivyo na umbo tamu; basi akishiriki lazima atashinda tu!

    Maskini Asha Ngedere; akaamua kuchukua form huku akiamini anaenda kushiriki mashindano ya urembo! Siku ya siku ikafika! Wasichana na wanawake mbalimbali wakajitokeza kwenye shindano na kuanza kupita mmoja mmoja jukwaani! Ukumbi ulikuwa umedorora; lakini alipotokea Asha Ngedere tu; mara vijana wakaanza kuripuka kwa mayowe na vifijo!! Hali hii ikamvimbisha kichwa Asha Ngedere na hivyo kuzidisha vituko vyake pale jukwaani! Mwisho wa mchezo; Asha Ngedere akaibuka kidedea kwenye shindano lile la kumtafuta mwanamke mwenye umbo la kuchukiza!! Hata hivyo; kwa kughiribiwa na vifijo vya vijana wa mtaani kwetu; Asha Ngedere akatoka ukumbini huku akiamini ametoka na taji la mwanamke mwenye mvuto!!

    Baada ya taji hili, Asha Ngedere akazidisha visa na vituko! Umaarufu aliozani umetokana na ulimbwende wake; ukamfanya azidishe vituko na jeuri ndani yake! Si mjumbe wa nyumba kumi; wala afisa mtendaji ambae angeweza kusema lolote kwa Asha Ngedere bila ya kushambuliwa kwa maneno ya kejeli na matusi! Si ndo mambo ya ma-superstars bana!

    Miezi ikapita; likaja shindano lingine la kumsaka mwanamke mrembo na mwenye haiba! Shindano hili; halikufanyika mtaani kwetu, bali sehemu fulani mbele kidogo ya katikati ya nchi yetu!

    Kama kawaida yao, vijana wakaendelea na dhihaka yao dhidi ya Asha Ngedere! Wakamwambia; kwa jinsi alivyo mlimbwende; ni lazima tu atashinda!!! Vijana wa kule nao; kumbe walishawahi kuvisikia vituko vya Asha Ngedere!! Wakakaa tayari kumsubiri Asha Ngedere ili wafaidi vituko vyake! Siku ya siku ikafika; Asha Ngedere huyooo, kushiriki shindano la kumsaka mwanamke mrembo na mwenye haiba! Kama kawaida yao; vijana wakajitokeza kumlaki Asha Ngedere! Akapigiwa makofi, mbinje na mayowe; hali iliyoibua tena vituko vya Asha Ngedere!! Akatembea kwa mikogo na maringo yote ya mwanamke ingawaje kwa wenye akili zao ilikuwa ni mikogo iliyochukiza mno na kutokuwa mvuto! Pamoja na yote hayo; vijana wakampigia makofi Asha Ngedere na kumwaminisha kwamba ni lazima atashinda!
    Siku ya siku ikafika; na walimbwende wote pamoja na dada Asha Ngedere wakaanza kupanda jukwaani!! Kuna wakati fulani, wapambe wa Asha Ngedere wakaanza kumshangilia kwa mbinje na hivyo kumfanya dada yetu huyu wa mtaani kwetu aanze kuhisi ananyakuwa taji! Ghafla, ukumbi ukazidi kufurika watu, wengi wao wakiwa ni wale wenye upeo wa juu! Hawa hawakuwa na sababu ya kumdhihaki Asha Ngedere; wakamwambia wazi...shindano hili tunasaka mwanamke mwenye mvuto na wingi wa haiba na sio wenye vigimbi na matumbo pamoja na matovu ya kuchukiza!! Asha Ngedere akazani masihara! Kivipi asizani masihara ikiwa vijana ambao ni wajuvi wa wanawake warembo wanamuona yeye ndie mlimbwende zaidi?! Akapata imani ni lazima atashinda!!!

    Sasa ukaja ule wakati rasmi! Kwamba mshindi atachaguliwa kwa kupigiwa kura ambapo mpiga kura alitakiwa kutuma SMS kwenda namba 556685; na kila SMS ingegharimu sh.500 tu!

    Maskini, kumbe wapambe wa Asha Ngedere walio wengi hawakuwa na simu na hata waliokuwa nazo; hawakuwa na salio la kutosha kwenye simu zao! Wengi wao wakaishia ku-beep tu ile namba !!!!

    HAPA ninapoandika, inasemekana Asha Ngedere miguu chali, na vijana wamemkimbia jukwaani!
    ALAMSIKI; Pole sana dada Asha Ngedere.....nenda kapate surgery ya vigimbi, tumbo na tovu lako labda utapata umbo la kuvutia!! But even more important; acha kuhadahika na kelele za wapambe wanaokudanganya wewe ni bonge la Queen wakati huvutii!
     
  2. Kiranja Mkuu

    Kiranja Mkuu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 18, 2010
    Messages: 2,101
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 0
    una utani na Julius Mtatiro wewe
     
  3. N

    NasDaz JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: May 6, 2009
    Messages: 11,339
    Likes Received: 1,567
    Trophy Points: 280
    Watu kama hawa ndo huwa wanachapwaga halafu wanalalamika eti CDM ni wakorofi.
     
  4. M

    Mbopo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Jan 29, 2008
    Messages: 2,532
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mtu akikuambia kwamba umeeleweka anakudanganya.
     
  5. Mzee

    Mzee JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 2, 2011
    Messages: 11,594
    Likes Received: 1,317
    Trophy Points: 280
    Hapo unamlenga nani sasa?
     
  6. Mzee

    Mzee JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 2, 2011
    Messages: 11,594
    Likes Received: 1,317
    Trophy Points: 280
    soma vizuri, na kwa makini. Shirikisha ubongo utaelewa.
     
  7. m

    mwacheni77 JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Apr 11, 2011
    Messages: 742
    Likes Received: 29
    Trophy Points: 45
    Mafumbo hayana maana kwenye mambo ya ukweli
     
  8. Eng. Y. Bihagaze

    Eng. Y. Bihagaze Verified User

    #8
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Sep 8, 2011
    Messages: 1,474
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    jamani hizo Home work za kitivo cha kiswahili UDSM msiwe mnajisahau mnazipost kama thread.. wahenga huku ndani hawapo..
     
  9. 1

    124 Ali JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Apr 25, 2010
    Messages: 3,760
    Likes Received: 542
    Trophy Points: 280
    Sahihi ni wewe hujaelewa kitu sio kwamba jamaa haeleweki, kakuchachiza utafakari nani mlengwa wa fikra agua hii.
     
  10. wijei

    wijei JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Jun 11, 2011
    Messages: 462
    Likes Received: 21
    Trophy Points: 35
    Hiyo ni cuf.
     
  11. Unyanga

    Unyanga JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 6, 2011
    Messages: 402
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 35
    safi sana you are a great thinker, thread nzuri imetulia sana imebeba ujumbe mzito sana kutotja kwa great thinker kwenda kwa great thinkers. Kwa wasio great thinkers lazima wapate tabu kukuelewa na kuona kama huna ulichoandika.
     
  12. Mzee

    Mzee JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Feb 2, 2011
    Messages: 11,594
    Likes Received: 1,317
    Trophy Points: 280
    Hii post nimeipenda. Inafikirisha kidogo, kwa wavivu wa kufikiria wataiona kama hadith za Shigongo.
     
  13. N

    NasDaz JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: May 6, 2009
    Messages: 11,339
    Likes Received: 1,567
    Trophy Points: 280
    Sijamlenga mtu, nimemzungumzia Asha Ngedere, dada mwenye vituko vingi ambae ni jirani yangu!
     
  14. N

    NasDaz JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: May 6, 2009
    Messages: 11,339
    Likes Received: 1,567
    Trophy Points: 280
    Akuu, mie simo hapo!
     
  15. ndyoko

    ndyoko JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 3, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
    Messages: 4,706
    Likes Received: 36
    Trophy Points: 145
    NasDaz umemaliza kabisa mkuu. Ila umesahau kitu kimoja kwamba Asha Ngedere mwishoni alianza kupata akili kwamba wapambe wake walikuwa wanamdanganya ili hali wakijua hawezi kupata taji la huo u miss. Si unakumbuka kuelekea mwisho wa shindano akaamua kuwadai wale wapambe wamrudishie pesa na gharama alizozitumia ktk kushiriki shindano ambalo kumbe yeye hakuwa na vigezo stahiki? Mwe mwe mwe, Asha Ngedere, acha vituko!!!!!!!!
     
  16. N

    NasDaz JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 4, 2011
    Joined: May 6, 2009
    Messages: 11,339
    Likes Received: 1,567
    Trophy Points: 280
    Uwiiiiiiiii, tumbo langu mie! Kumbe ulikuwa ni wewe yule?! Manake pale ukumbini nilimuona mshikaji kavaa miwani anapiga picha!!! Nikajiuliza; ni nani yule? mbona amekaa ki JF JF!!! Ckupata jibu hadi mshikaji mmoja akaniambia yule jamaa anaitwa Kiyondo!!! Inaelekea alikuwa hakusikia jina lako vizuri; kumbe ulikuwa wewe mkubwa ndyoko!!!!
     
Loading...